The Loudest Journey
by MTHellhound
Summary: A mistreated kid is introduced into the lives of the Loud family. He quickly begins to take comfort with them. Unfortunately for him, revenge fills his veins and he plans to succeed his vengeful quest. However, the Loud siblings accompany him while he goes on his manhunt, unaware of his true intentions. Will he learn what family truly means or will he be stuck in the dark forever?
1. A Loud Morning

Royal Woods, Michigan. It was a peaceful town with very low crime rate. Anyone could live here without a care in the world. You could leave your doors unlocked all night and no one would break in and steal your stuff. It was home of many families, with many personalities, and many interesting characters. But there's one family in particular that makes the whole city legendary… well not legendary. Let's just say they make the city… loud.

A sparrow flew over the town going on with it's daily routine. (My cat is playing on the computer while I'm typing.) So far, the town was at peace. Only engines could be heard as well as the single plane that flew over the town. Birds chirping and dogs barking. Just your average day in Royal Woods, Michigan.

 **Nickelodeon Animation Studios presents…**

The sparrow flew on top of a house, inspecting it. It seemed to be looking for something. The sparrow chirped before flying over to another house across the street. It chirped some more as tapped the roof shingles. It chirped once more and flew over to a nearby tree.

 **A Paramount Pictures production…**

The bird flew over a small house and landed on a window sill. The bird looked inside, curiosity in its mind. Inside the house was a very messy, and rundown bedroom. There was no bed and only a ripped up mattress on the floor with a blanket; a person sleeping underneath it. There were several holes in the walls as paint was teared off it.

Clothes littered the floor as a rainbow colored bong was by the mattress. The person underneath the blanket stirred awake by the sounds of yelling from another room.

"I swear Gina! You and you're damn pans!" a man yelled.

"Well what the fuck do you want me to do with them?!" shouted the woman known as Gina.

"Put them away, for Christ sakes! Where the fuck is my beer?!"

"Steve! I think the baby's coming."

With each yell, the person only stirred some more, groaning as they tried to fight away the noise.

"It better be a girl this time. Last time we thought it was a girl we got that transvestite as a son. Fucking disgusting pig. He should take his rings somewhere else." the man known as Steve insulted.

Finally, the person underneath the mattress awoke, letting out a huge groan. The person underneath was revealed to be a young boy, about 15 years old, maybe 15½. However, instead of looking masculine, he looked more feminine.

He had long black hair that went down to his upper back and black dot stud earrings. He groaned some more as a tired look took over his face.

"Another day, another little slice of hell." the kid groaned.

He got up from his mattress revealing more features about him. He had midnight blue nail polish on his fingernails, something a boy wouldn't have. He even had several rings on all his fingers, including his thumbs. Some were just regular stainless steel rings, while some were more fancy. One of them had a huge turquoise pearl on it while another had a miniature silver dollar sign.

He was currently wearing a white tank top, black shorts, and black socks. He got up from his mattress and stretched, yawning in the process. He smacked his lips as he walked out of his messy, rundown room.

The sparrow tilted its head in wonder. It flew off his window sill and onto the next; inside looked to be a rundown bathroom, even more than the kid's bedroom.

Said kid walked in the restroom and lazily walked over to the sink. He grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste and began brushing his teeth. After a few minutes, he spat the toothpaste into the sink. He then poured some water onto his face and walked out.

The kid walked into his bedroom again and decided it was time to start getting dressed for school. He quickly took off his clothes and got dressed in new clothes. Soon he was wearing different clothes, more comfortable ones that he would wear to school.

He wore a gray sleeveless hoodie with two red stripes on the shoulders. He wore a white T-shirt with the sleeves literally ripped off underneath. Around his arms were two red cloth armbands and around his wrists were two red cloth wristbands; he also sported brown driving gloves. On his legs were baggy black jeans and wore gray shoes.

The kid placed the hood over his head to hide his long hair. In fact, he hid almost everything that would make him girly: the gloves to hide his nail polish and the hood to hide his long hair and his earrings. He sighed heavily, in a depressed way, as he turned his attention to a small desk. There lied a homemade necklace that consisted of a black jacket lace wrapped around a tire bolt. He grabbed it and placed it around his neck; afterwards he exited his room.

The living room was just as bad as his bedroom. In fact, the whole house was a complete disaster, everything was rundown as mildew was scattered everywhere; roaches roamed the floors.

A middle aged man in his 50's was seen on a reclining chair, a beer in his hand and a scowl. In the kitchen was a pregnant woman washing dishes. The kid walked in the living room, a messenger bag slung over his shoulder, and walked towards the door. This caught the attention of the middle aged man.

"Hey!" the man said. "Matilda, where do you think you're going?"

"To school, dad. And please stop calling me that. Its Matt now." Matt replied.

"Does it look like I fucking care? You're named Matilda because we thought you were a girl. Then we got this. A mistake! A chick-with-a-dick!"

"I told you to not call me that. It's so… degrading." Matt replied, obviously not wanting to fight.

"When you come back from school, pick up a six pack for me." his dad turned his attention back to the TV.

"You know I can't do that. I'll get in trouble."

"Then that's your problem. If you don't come back with beer…" his dad glared at him. "It's another week in the basement for you."

"I've spent most of my life locked in that basement and only being fed fish heads. I only just got out of the punishment. How come you don't do this to my brother?" Matt asked.

"Because we wanted a boy and a girl. We got him, the boy, and we thought we had you as a girl. Turns out we were wrong. Biggest mistake was keeping you because we would get in 'trouble' if we left you." his dad venomously replied. "Now get the fuck out of my sight. I'm working here."

"You better do what your father says you little shit! You bring back some beer! You hear me?!" his mother shouted from the kitchen.

"Yes mom." Matt replied as he sighed once more.

He walked out the door and began walking towards his high school: Royal Woods High.

The bird on the window sill tilted its head in confusion as it flew off into another part of the town. It flew for a good few minutes before perching on top of a tree. The bird sniffed the air and sighed heavenly. It cleared it's throat and was prepared to sing a lovely song in the morning song.

It opened its mouth and…

 **BAM!**

A baseball game out of left field and hit its head, stopping the bird.

 _ **The Loudest Journey**_

The bird groaned as it shook its head, regaining its composure. It got back on the branch to get back to singing.

 **BAM!**

Another baseball hit it's head. It came back up.

 **BAM!**

Once more another baseball hit it. It groaned in pain as it had a dizzy look on its face.

 **BAM!**

This time however, instead of a baseball hitting it, Mr. Coconuts what thrown at it. The bird got back up once more.

 **BAM!**

Another baseball knocked over the bird. Unfortunately, it fell down from the tree and onto the street road. It groaned in pain as it grabbed its head. Unbeknownst to it, the bird fell in front of the front tires of a van. A van belonging to a huge family.

"Lynn!" called out a bossy voice. "Stop hitting baseballs! We're leaving for school! If you aren't in Vanzilla in literally three minutes, you are walking to school!"

"Calm down, Lori! I'm coming! Yeesh." Lynn replied.

A set of feet hopped in the van as the engines roared to life. Realizing the situation, the bird turned around to see the wheels coming its way. It began running only to be caught in the tires.

The bird was now stuck on the front tire of Vanzilla. It began spinning with the wheels as it screamed in horror. However, every time the bird was on the ground, it's screaming stop, only to resume as it spun back into the open.

"Uuuuuuuhh- ugh…aaaaaaaaa…aaaaaAAAA...AAAAAAA...AAAAAAA...AAAAAAA...AAAAAAA!" the bird screamed every time it wasn't crushed by the wheel and the ground.

The Loud siblings all rode Vanzilla to their respective schools, with Lori driving. Going to school was usually this routine, though some did have to walk if they were late.

Lori was the driver of her siblings, being the only one with a driver's license is both a gift and a curse. Because usually she'll have to be listening to nonsense and calming her siblings down while trying not to create a mass murder via car accident.

"Why not the Noisy Home or the Blaring Residence. I'm just saying, how do we know it's called the Loud House?" asked Leni in the passenger seat.

Lori crunches up her face. "Because. Of our. LAST NAMES!" she yelled, her patience worn thin.

Leni sat there in silent, not knowing how to respond to her outburst.

"Well things just got a little rowdy." Leni said.

"Hey Lincoln! Think fast!" Lynn exclaimed.

She threw a football INSIDE the car towards her little brother. Lincoln, whom was reading an Ace Savvy comic with his back turned her, caught the ball without even looking with one hand. He threw it back as it hit Lynn in the face, causing her to fall down onto her seat.

However, her foot accidentally knocked Luna's headphone's off.

"You're gonna have to try better than that, Lynn." Lincoln said in a deadpan voice, getting tired of his sporty sister's antic.

"Dude! You knocked off my headphones!" Luna complained.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't _ear_ you from all the talking. Hahahahahaha! Get it?" asked Luan as she laughed at her own pun.

"Dear forth eldest sibling, mind spitting into this tube for DNA purposes, please?" asked Lisa as she held out her test tube.

"Well Lisa, I think you're filled with bull _spit_. Hahahaha!"

"Just spit into the tube."

Luan then spat into the tube.

"Ooh! Ooh! Me next! Me next!" Lana yelled in excitement as she raised her hand.

She began to hock a loogie, building up spit inside her mouth. This disgusted Lisa and also terrified her.

"WAIT!" she yelled, seizing Lana. "Spit in this one. You'll cross contaminate Luan's tube."

Lana continued to hock a loogie and spat a big ol' fat one in the tube.

"Ew! Lana! You're disgusting!" Lola said to her twin.

"Well it's better than being a girly, girl princess." Lana insulted.

"Uh, excuse me?! Being a princess isn't all that I am… I'm a pageant queen, and I'm not allowing filth onto my new pink dress." Lola retorted.

"Isn't that the one you wore last week?" Lana asked.

Lola shot her eyes wide open as she examined her dress. After a quick examination she came to the conclusion it was the same one from last week.

"Dang it." she said in defeat.

Lincoln kept reading his Ace Savvy comic, ignoring the chaos. He'd usually do this in his underwear but was constructed by a big, moving piece of metal on its way to prison- I mean school.

Lucy scooted next to her big brother, a piece of paper and a pen in her hand.

"Hey Lincoln." Lucy greeted.

"Yeah, Luce?" asked Lincoln, not getting scared by her sudden appearance.

"You have anything that rhymes with 'forgotten'?" Lucy asked.

"How 'bout 'rotten'?" asked Lincoln, still not taking his eyes off his comic book.

"Thanks, Lincoln. I'm going to be asking more from you at every chance I get. Even if it means interrupting your personal time" Lucy replied as she went back to her own seat.

"Huh? What'd you say, Lynn?" It was obvious he was sucked into the comic book.

"Lori!" Lola cried out. "Lana's trying to stick gum in my hair!"

"Well since you love your tiara so much, I'd thought I'd permanently glue it to your head." Lana jokingly said.

"Knock it off you two!" Lori shouted.

"But she started it!" Lola whined.

"I don't care who started it! I'm ending it!"

Lori pressed the brake as Vanzilla stopped a red light; the commotion was still going strong in the back. Lori still had a very irritated look on her face; steam literally coming out of her nose. At that moment, a red lowrider stopped next to her. Two young men wearing sunglasses looked at Lori.

"Hey, baby. You like this ride?" asked the driver.

"Beat it, losers." Lori replied in an angry tone.

"Damn! It must be her time of the month." the passenger said.

"Ya got that right, Jamal. Ha ha! WOOOOO!" the driver replied as he sped up.

Unfortunately, another car crashed into them as they began to spin out. "WOAH MAN! THIS IS TOTALLY RAD!" passenger yelled out in excitement.

"HAHAHA! THIS IS THE BEST RIDE EVER! NOTHING CAN STOP THIS!" the driver replied.

At that moment, they crashed into a gas station, their car exploding, killing them.

Lori paid no attention to it as debris bounced off the window. Her siblings however looked on in awe; Luna, Luan, and Leni recording the whole thing on their phones. Lincoln suddenly perked up.

"What happened? I missed it!" Lincoln exclaimed.

The streetlight turned green, signaling Lori to go ahead and drive ahead. Their first stop was at the Elementary school, where Lincoln, Lucy, Lana, Lola, and Lisa got off. Lincoln walked out, his head still in the comic book. Unfortunately for him, he walked straight into the school pole.

"Ow." he groaned as he rubbed his head.

Vanzilla drove off to its next destination: Royal Woods Middle School. Vanzilla didn't even stop as Lynn jumped out of the moving vehicle, doing several rolls until she landed on his feet.

"Yes! 15 points for Lynn-sanity!" Lynn called out.

Suddenly, her lunch fell on her head, but her happy expression didn't change.

Vanzilla drove up to the parking lot of the high school, where the four remaining adolescents got out and walked their way into the school.

In front of the car, the sparrow peeled off the tire as it laid on the ground, completely flattened. It suddenly got back up, grabbing it's head in pain. It grew an angry look as it walked over to the back of Vanzilla.

It kicked the car out of anger; unfortunately, smoke came from the tailpipe and complete covered the sparrow. It coughed out smoke as it blinked in defeat.


	2. Math, Grilled Cheese, and Humiliation

**RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!**

1st Period: Math Class. Luna somewhat liked this class. She hated the subject but one person made it bearable: Sam Sharp. Her crush, and girlfriend. Sam sat next to Luna, who was leaning over her table to have a chat with her.

"And then, we're gonna head to the fossil exhibit at the museum. Boring as always but it's with my family so I just know it's gonna rock." Sam explained to her best friend, Luna.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Luan dropped her joke book as she sat in her History class. She examined the area, feeling the presence being disturbed.

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Nice, brah." Luna replied. "Me and my family are heading to the lake for our break. It's gonna be rocking! Especially with family. Family is the most important thing there is. The second is attending Mick Swagger's concerts."

"I haven't been to Royal Woods Lake in a long time."

"When was the last time you went?"

"I never been there."

"Alright class, settle down." Mr. Mathewson, the Math teacher, told his class. "Now today we'll be reviewing over what we learned yesterday. Please turn to pa-..." Mr. Mathewson suddenly stopped. He stared at an empty seat in the third row. "Have any of you seen Matilda today?"

"That's not my name, sir." a voice came out. Mr. Mathewson turned his head to the left to see Matt standing by the door. "I'd appreciate if you don't call me that." he said in a sad tone.

"Mr. Dillon, can you explain why you're late to my class… again?" asked Mr. Mathewson, clearly peaved.

"Alarm clock broke." Matt flatly replied.

"You said that yesterday. And the day before that. And the day before the previous day of yesterday."

"I have a lot of alarm clocks, sir."

"Yeah." Mr. Mathewson replied, skeptically. "Well take your seat then."

Matt lazily walked over to his seat. Almost everyone in the class glared at him. Some with mean looks while some had devious smiles on their faces. Matt ignored the looks as he just continued to walk. Unfortunately, one of the kids decided to extend their leg, tripping Matt.

He fell to the ground hard, as everyone around him laughed at him. He groaned in pain as he slowly got up. The laughing didn't stop however, but Matt was used to it. He's been bullied ever since middle school, and whenever he would go for help from the staff, they wouldn't help him and the bullying only got worse. So he just accepted the bullying and just went along with it.

He sighed heavily as he got up and sat in his chair. Of course, Mr. Mathewson didn't notice a thing.

"Alright, so does anyone know the Pythagorean Theorem?" asked Mr. Mathewson.

This was gonna be a long day.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Matt's dad, Steve Dillon, came walking out their house, an angry look on his face. His wife and Matt's mother, Gina Dillon, came walking out as well.

Unlike before, Steve had a white shirt, blue shorts, and gray shoes. Gina simply had a pink dress.

"I'm telling you, Steve! The baby is coming!" Gina shouted.

"No it's not! The baby isn't due until another month!" Steve shouted back.

"That's what you said last month!"

"Well this time I mean it!"

At that moment, a black SUV drove up by their house and parked in front of it. Two men then came out of it. One man wielded an assault rifle, while the other had a black trenchcoat with a white collared shirt underneath. He wore a black tie and wore black suit pants, along with leather suit shoes. He had short messy black hair as a scar ran over his right eye.

"Aaaaah. Joseph Hindwick, my friend! How's it going?" asked Steve.

"Uh, Steve. I prefer to go by Scarface." Joseph replied.

"Indeed, boy. Now, what brings you here?"

"I came to tell you that house you purchased in Petoskey is ready now. You can move in anytime you want."

"Excellent. Now all we need is get our baby girl and finally we'll be a happy family."

"What about your son?" asked Joseph out of curiosity.

"Who? Derek?" asked Steve.

"No, your other son."

"That shitstain? What about him?"

"What're you gonna do with him?"

"He's of no use to me anymore. I don't need him." Steve then began to walk over to his old car.

"So what? You're just gonna leave him on the side of the road?" asked Joseph, clearly against Steve's idea.

Steven however gave him an annoyed look. "I wasn't planning to but now that the idea's in my head, I'm tempted." He opened the car door and got inside. "Listen, I'm not paying you to stand around and be a useless gnome. Your job is to protect the docks and make sure my shipment arrives safe and sound. You got that? The Dillon Empire can't rule if we don't have any product! Now get your lazy ass over at the docks and move it!"

"Okay, Steve. Okay." Joseph replied.

"Excellent." Steve shut the car door and drove off, leaving only Joseph, his bodyguard, and Gina Dillon. Gina was rubbing her stomach, a motherly smile on her face.

"It's gonna be a girl. I just know it." Gina told Joseph, who rolled his eyes.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Several kids walked along the halls of Royal Woods High. With Spring Break around the corner, the whole hallway was filled with chatter about plans.

Luan was currently talking to her friend, and crush, Benny. They walked along the halls, talking about their day.

"So then the volcano exploded, and fake lava got on everyone!" Benny explained.

"Well, I'm sure that project was a blast. Hahahahaha! Get it?" asked Luan.

Benny chuckled as well. "There was a heated argument afterwards." Benny and Luan shared a laugh. They arrived at Luan's locker, their walking came to a halt. She punched in the combination to her lock and opened it. Benny couldn't help but spy at her locker combo.

"29-3-14." Benny repeated.

"Benny!" Luan playfully punched him in the shoulder.

"What?" he laughed. "I'd need to know your combination. What if you get stuffed in your locker?"

"Come here!" a voice shouted.

They turned their attention to see four kids, three of them holding the other. One of the kids opened up a locker as the other two shoved the other kid in it. They slammed the locker shut and laughed at the kid inside.

"Later, Tiler." the leader of the group mocked as the other two laugh.

Tiler could be heard groaning in disappointment.

"Like that poor soul." Benny said to Luan. "Speaking of lockers: what's in yours?"

"Oh! Uh, you know." Luan began to blush. Unbeknownst to Benny, her locker door was filled with many pictures of Benny with heart shapes surrounding him. "School stuff. Don't go looking in my locker while I'm not here. Otherwise you're gonna get another pie in your face."

"Alright. Alright. You made your point." He laughed. Afterwards, he put his right hand over his heart and raised his left hand. "I, Benny Hillington, will not sneak a peek in Luan Loud's locker."

"Benny, Hillington isn't your last name." Luan corrected.

"I know. I was just Joshing you!" Benny said with a smile. "...Okay, that one sucked."

"Yeah it did." Luan replied halfheartedly.

"So what're you doing over the break?" asked Benny.

"Me and my family are going over to Royal Woods Lake." Luan explained. "Water you doing over Spring Break?"

The two shared a quick laugh together, until Benny spoke up. "I'm heading over to the Prank Store so I can buy something for a girl I like."

And just like that, Luan's smile diminished, a frown replacing it. "Oh." she said in a sadden tone. "Do I know her?"

"She's closer than you think."

Luan cocked her eyebrow in confusion. She turned around to see if Benny was talking about anyone that was behind her. To her confusion, once more, there was no one. She turned around only to find out Benny was no longer there. "Huh?" she asked. "Benny? Where'd you go?"

 _ **RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!**_

"Oh crud! I'm late!" she exclaimed.

She quickly grabbed her book from her locker and slammed it shut. She began running through the halls, passing Matt along the way. He still had a sad look on his face. His hands were in his jacket pockets as he walked down the halls slowly. He then passed the locker that Tiler was in, unbeknownst to Matt.

"Hello? Anyone?" asked Tiler inside the locker.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Matt Dillon sat alone at his table during lunch. He didn't have much friends, he didn't have any friends for that matter. Everyday, he would sit alone at lunch, quietly eating and avoiding eye contact from other people. While many other people would be sitting with friends or strangers, no one wanted to sit next to Matt. He was pretty much an outcast, a social reject. His whole outfit made him a complete oddball in school. No one ever got to know him well enough to find out that he was a really nice guy. He often helped other people but they never acknowledged him.

People were quick to begin bully him, but one kid always bullied him everyday: Crash Jackson. He would always come stuff him in his locker and him and his lackeys would beat him up, for the sake of entertainment Matt would be bullied so much, so constantly, that it didn't even faze him. He would usually sigh in sadness and walk away feeling bad for himself… usually. Matt currently sat at the same table, eating his lunch alone. His lunch consisted of a grilled cheese sandwich cut in half, French fries, onion rings dipped in ketchup, a salad, a bowl of cube cut pineapples, two cartons of milk and a single chocolate chip cookie.

He ate one of his fries before looking up to see his unattainable love interest: Evelyn Fowler. Evelyn wore a blue jacket with a pink T-shirt underneath with a yellow star symbol on it. She had a dark pink skirt and wore pink shoes. She also wore pink and blue striped stockings. She had her hair in a ponytail with two side bangs.

She began walking towards him, a tray in her hands. She caught Matt's eye as she looked at him as she was walking. The two stared at each other until Evelyn walked passed him. Matt turned around to see her sit down with some of her friends.

"That creepy guy just stared at me just now." he heard Evelyn say to her friends.

"Which one?" One of her friends asked.

"The one with the hood and the bolt around his neck."

"Oh, that loser."

"What a freak." Another one of her friends insulted.

"Why does he even bother coming to this school? No one wants him around." The third friend said.

The four began laughing, including Evelyn, as Matt turned his head to his tray of food in sadness.

"Because I'll get beat if I don't." Matt whispered to himself.

He picked up another fry and ate it, until something caught his attention. He looked up to see Crash Jackson and his four goons: Lance, Sebastian, Jonathan, and David. They all had devious smiles on their faces.

The five then sat in front of Matt, with Crash directly in front of them.

"Hey Matty." Crash mockingly greeted. "What's up?"

"Not today, Crash." Matt replied, as if it would help him.

"Oh, come on, I just want to spend time with my best friend in the whole world." Crash said as he took a fry from Matt's lunch.

Matt refused eye contact with the bully, as Crash himself grinned at his victim.

"Please go away." Matt asked politely, thinking politeness would work.

Crash then began flicking fries at Matt, annoying him.

"Please stop."

"What are you gonna about it?" Crash replied, mockingly.

Matt didn't say anything.

Suddenly, Crash lifted Matt's tray and dumped all of his food on him, getting ketchup all over his shirt.

Everyone in the cafeteria turned to the commotion to see Crash bullying Matt. However, there was no sympathy for the outcast whatsoever.

"Daaaaaaaamn." David said.

"He needs some milk." Sebastian added.

"Good idea. Thanks." Crash said.

He grabbed Matt's two milk cartons and began spilling milk all over Matt, who just took the punishment, not even caring at this point.

Everyone in the cafeteria began laughing.

Crash threw the empty milk cartons at Matt, who didn't even faze. He quietly got up as he turned around to exit the cafeteria. However, he slipped on a puddle of milk and fell to the ground. This made everyone laugh even more. Crash and his goons came walking towards him, he same devious smiles on their faces. He then began to kick Matt in the gut while he was on the ground as the others began to beat him.

The whole cafeteria cheered them on.

"Yeah!"

"Teach that kid a lesson!"

"What a loser!"

"Take the trash out!"

"Losers aren't allowed in our school!"

Matt kept trying to get up but Crash just brought him down and kept on beating him. After minutes of constant beating, Crash and his goons got tired and walked away.

"Loser." Crash spat out as he laughed.

Matt groaned in pain as he looked all around the cafeteria to see everyone laughing at him. Humiliation filled his eyes as the laughing around him echoed. He blinked several times, trying to fight back the tears. He gasped for air, not even realizing he forced himself to stop breathing. He got up, careful enough to not slip and fall on the puddle of milk, and ran out of the cafeteria, with everyone laughing at him. He ran down the halls, in a complete mess.

"I'm so stupid!" he scolded himself as he began to cry. "Oh God! I'm so stupid!"

He turned the corner where he accidentally bumped into Chaz and Leni. Matt fell to the ground, where he looked up to see the two high schoolers giving him confused looks. He glanced at the two of them, not knowing what they would do.

"Hey," Leni quietly said. "you alright?"

"Get away from me." Matt replied in fear.

He quickly got up and ran away from the two, who raised their eyebrows in confusion.

Matt, at this point of his life, couldn't trust anyone anymore.


	3. Introduction Plans

**Okay, so I know I messed up in the first chapter and I'm here to explain a few things. One- there's a dust storm outside XD One: I intended to make the tone a bit confusing and I know some of you were confused based on the two comments I got. Two: The reason why I made it that way is to show how different Matt's life is compared to the Loud family. It also shows how his life was BEFORE the actual story. So my sincere apologies if you got confused, it wasn't my intention… This dust storm isn't letting up. And it's summer so you can imagine what it's like having hot dust blown across your front lawn. Anyways! I gotta go! My mom needs to me to pick up milk from the store! So enjoy or don't enjoy the next chapter! It's up to you! I'm not forcing you to like it or anything! I'm not yelling at you it's just that I have to be somewhere really quick and I have to drive in the dust storm just to grab some milk! Don't ask me, I don't question my mom's logic! She puts medicine in the refrigerator! She drives me crazy but I love her and she loves me! Love your parents, kids! Eat your veggies and clean your rooms! I gotta go now! KOKBYE!**

 **Keith! Get the milk!**

 **MOM! SHUT UP!**

-o-o-o-o-o-

The same sparrow that got ran over by Vanzilla flew over the sky. It dove down onto the ground where it landed on it. It began chirping and picking the ground, in search for any insects or worms it could eat. However, unknown to it, it landed in the driveway of the Loud house. Vanzilla could be seen behind the sparrow, moving towards it.

The sparrow heard a low rumble behind it and turned around, only grow wide eyes as Vanzilla drove towards it. It didn't have time to react and instead braced itself. Fortunately for it, Vanzilla stopped right in front of it, the tire barely touching the sparrow's beak.

It opened its eyes to see that it was safe from Vanzilla's wrath, before fainting on the ground.

The doors opened, its passengers getting out. The Loud family all had smiles on their faces, well aside from Lucy of course. I mean, who wouldn't be happy. Spring Break was finally here, and they had two whole weeks of nothing but fun and relaxation. In their own ways of course.

"Aw yeah! Spring Break is here!" Lynn cried out. Suddenly, she tripped and fell. "Ow."

"I hope you didn't _break_ anything. Hahahahahaha!" Luan laughed at her own pun.

"Really, dude?" asked Luna as she passed by Luan.

"What? The idea just _sprung_ into my head. Hahahaha!" Luan joked once more.

Everyone groaned at her pun.

"Hey, Leni! Go long!" Lynn called out.

Leni grabbed a very long branch.

"You mean this?" asked Leni.

Lynn lidded her eyes as she blinked at her sister's foolishness. She turned to her only brother instead.

"Hey, Stinkoln! Go long!" she called out.

"Huh?" asked Lincoln, not paying attention.

A football was thrown at his head, causing him to fall down. Lynn only gave Lincoln a deadpan look. "Nice play." she sarcastically said.

The rest of the siblings all went inside the house, with Lynn dragging Lincoln inside.

"Come on, Lame-O. You can't stay out here all night… again." Lynn said to her brother as she dragged him inside.

"Thanks Tooth Fairy. Please come again." Lincoln replied in a delusional state.

Lynn brought her brother in and closed the door. At that moment, Matt was lazily walking to his home, only passing the Loud house. Food stains were littered all over his clothes, but his face said that he didn't care at all. It was just a normal day in the life of him anyways. So what else did he expect.

He walked through the neighborhood, block by block, until he arrived at his home. The same crappy, rundown one story home… with dead grass. He opened up the door to see that nothing changed since this morning. His mother still working in the kitchen while his father was still on the chair watching TV.

Matt shut the door and began to walk to his room… until his father got his attention.

"Hey!" he called out. Matt turned around. "Where's my pack?"

Matt raised an eyebrow wondering what he was talking about. Then, realization hit him like a bullet train. He forgot to get the six pack for his father.

"Shit." he muttered.

"You forgot? How could you forget?! It was the easiest of tasks!" his father yelled at him.

"I-I-I-I-I'm sorry! I-I-I'll get it right now! I swear!" Matt stuttered in fear.

"Too late! You know your punishment. You're spending the entire night in the basement. Now get in there now! No dinner tonight!"

"I don't even eat dinner."

"Well then no breakfast tomorrow! Now get in there."

Matt hung his head to the ground as he walked over to the basement door. He opened it and quickly went inside, closing the door. A few moments later he opened the door again.

"Can I at least go to the bathroom first?" he asked.

"Go to the bathroom in the basement." Steve quickly replied.

Matt looked down in sadness, before shutting the door. He walked over to a mattress on the floor and sat on it. A long cockroach climbed on his leg.

"Hey Sweat Stain." Matt greeted the cockroach. "Hey, wait. You're not Sweat Stain." he said after a quick inspection. The cockroach left his leg. "Where's Sweat Stain at then?" He lifted his butt and looked underneath it. "Oh."

-o-o-o-o-o-

The sparrow perched itself onto a mailbox that read 'Jack'. It examined it's area before flying off once more, passing the Dillon's house.

The sunshine rinsed Matt's eyes, stirring him awake. He groaned in tiredness, as he opened his eyes. He woke up, realizing he was in the basement. He then remembered his punishment from before. Sighing, he got up to start his day.

He exited the house, a backpack and a case in hand. He glanced over to see his father, working on the car.

"Hey, dad! I'm going hunting!" he called out. His dad gave no response. "Whatever." he said in a deadpan voice.

He walked over to his bike, strapped on the case to it, and pedaled off to the hunting grounds. His father didn't even take notice of his son's absence.

-o-o-o-o-o-

The Loud house was always noisy and loud during Saturdays. It's not called the Loud house if it isn't loud. Unless you count their last names then yes, it's called the Loud house.

In the backyard, Lynn and Lincoln were in karate uniforms. Earlier that day, Lynn asked Lincoln to be her sparring partner. He refused at first but realized he had no choice because it was either get bruisin for refusin', or get bruisin while helping out your sister… in?...

"Okay Linc," Lynn started. "Why not actually put an effort this time and I won't hurt you."

"Uh, that's what you said last time and then you hurt me." Lincoln retorted.

"Fair point."

Lincoln raised his fist and threw a punch at Lynn, who blocked it easily. He punched once more but she blocked it again. He decided to change things up a notch and threw an unexpected kick, which is blocked as well. She grabbed his leg and kicked him so hard that he was sent flying out the backyard.

"Woo-hoo!" she exclaimed. Lincoln crashed through the fence and landed on the sidewalk in the front of the house. "Oops." Lynn sheepishly said, realizing what she did.

Lincoln groaned as he grabbed his head. However, unbeknownst to him, Matt was riding his bike on the sidewalk and had little time to react. He screamed as he tried to brake; Lincoln turned and screamed as well. And then…

 **CRASH! BANG!**

The sound of a gunshot ringed out in the neighborhood, seizing everyone doing their routines. Every family member stopped doing what they were doing as they looked towards the door, where the gunshot originated. Even Mr. Grouse opened up his window to see what happened.

Lynn came running towards the front to see Lincoln not moving on the sidewalk, as well a second person, who lied in the gutter.

"LINCOLN!" she shouted in fear.

She jumped the fence as every Loud member came running out the house. Lynn grabbed Lincoln and turned him over to her stomach to see… nothing. No gunshot wound at all. Aside from a few scratches and bruises, he was fine.

"Ow." Lincoln said in pain.

"Oh thank God!" Lynn exclaimed in relief as she hugged her brother. "I thought I lost you."

"What are you talking about? I just got hit by a bike." Lincoln replied.

They heard groaning coming from the other kid. Matt got up from the gutter and spat out some leaves and gravel. "Ow." he groaned in pain.

"Lincoln, are you okay?" asked Lynn Sr.

"Yeah, dad. I'm okay." Lincoln replied.

"What was that gunshot?" asked Rita.

"You heard it to, mom?" asked Luna.

"Woah! Cool!" Lana exclaimed. The family turned their attention to the twin, who was holding a rifle. "Look at what I found."

Her family gasped at what she was holding. "Lana! Put that down now!" Lynn Sr demanded.

Matt turned his head to see Lana holding his rifle. He gasped as well, not wanting the little girl to get hurt.

"What? It's just a toy." Lana replied.

Matt grabbed the gun from her hands. "This is NOT a toy!" he scolded. "This is a dangerous weapon! This is a Small Plot-Smasher Ambush 300 Blackout! A semi-automatic, 30 shot magazine, gas-impingement with a 16-inch cold-hammer forged barrel with a salt-bath nitride finish with 1:8-inch twist rifling. The trigger is highly sensitive and HIGHLY dangerous! You could've put a bullet in between your eyes!"

The family was speechless that he knew that much about that gun. So much that they ended up staring at him in confusion. "I beg your pardon?" asked Lisa.

"I hope this thing still works."

Matt held up the rifle into the air and pulled the trigger.

 **BANG!**

"Yep. It still works." He dusted off some dirt off the gun. "Could've swear I put the safety on. I'm just glad Ol' Betsy is still in working condition."

"Excuse me." Lynn Sr. said, catching Matt's attention. "Why do you have a gun?"

"It's for hunting purposes only." Matt replied.

"Hunting?"

"There's a hunting ground up in the woods west of here. Over there." Matt pointed behind them. "I head over there every weekend to catch deer. There's this one I've been trying to catch for months and it keeps getting away! I always end up shooting some other deer. Whatever, I still get food either way. But I've been keeping an eye on this one specific deer and one day I will hunt it down."

"Hey wait a minute." Lori stopped Matt. "Aren't you that kid who got food thrown at him and got beat up by Crash yesterday?"

Matt looked at Lori, fear suddenly taking over.

"Hey yeah! I seen you running out of the cafeteria covered in ketchup and milk while I was walking with Chaz." Leni added.

"And you were all mopey when you were walking in the halls." Luan mentioned.

"And got tripped in Math class." Luna added as well.

Matt stared at the four, shaking uncontrollably."Uh…" was all he said. "P-Please. It's the weekend. I already deal enough of you on the weekday. I don't need my weekends ruined even more than it already is. What do you want? My food? Money? What about art?! I-I-I got shit tons of art!"

Matt reached inside his backpack and handed a notebook to Lori. She took it and opened it, revealing several sketches of mythical creatures. Such as boars in armor wielding axes, mandrills in armor holding scepters, a rhinoceros carrying a plasma gun. The family looked in awe at these drawings.

"Wow." Luna said in awe.

"Wooaaah." Lynn said.

"These are really good." Luan complimented.

"You can have all of them! I swear! Just don't hurt me again!" Matt begged.

"Hurt you?" asked Leni.

"Why would we hurt you?" asked Lori.

Matt grew a confused look, cocking an eyebrow at the family. It wasn't until moments later that he realized that these kids weren't usually the ones that bully him on a daily basis. Now he felt like an idiot for assuming such things.

"I gotta go!" he quickly said.

He grabbed the notebook from Lori's hands, stuffed it in his backpack, and rode off with the gun case strapped to the back of his bike. The family watched as he rode off, turning the corner and out of sight. They continued to stare in the direction he was going towards. Silent filled the area.

"Okay, that was weird." Lynn Sr. said, breaking the silence. "So! Everyone get ready! We're heading to the lake house in a few hours."

i ordered pizza

Everyone cheered as they all ran into the house. The only ones who stayed were Lori, Leni, Luna, and Luan, whom all had concerned looks on their faces.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Luna and Luan were in their room, packing their things for the weekend trip to the lake house at Royal Woods Lake. However, they couldn't help but think about Matt and his reaction to them thinking they were going to hurt him. They all knew OF Matt, but they only heard nicknames of him, like "the loser" or "the weirdo", "the dweeb", "the loner", "hooded freak".

They all saw him at one point during their high school years, and it's usually the same things over and over again. They see him get stuffed in his locker quite often, see him getting ganged up by Crash and his goons and being beaten to a pulp, or even so drastic as placing him in a trashcan and throwing him down the stairs.

However, during his years of abuse, they not once seen him cry. They only saw him having a solemn, sorry look on his face, as if he was used to the abuse. They did wish they could help him, they even considered of stepping in to defend him, but they never knew how to start.

"Hey Luna." Luna said, breaking the tense silence between them.

"Yeah, dude." Luna replied.

"Do you think we should help that kid with his problems at school?" asked Luan. "I never see him with any friends and I always see him in the halls, drawing on that notepad of his."

"Those were good pictures he drew." she complimented. "He has a rockin' imagination. Too bad it's always getting beaten out of him. I have thought of steppin' in, but I was always afraid that I would get hurt."

"Me too." Luan replied. "How about this. The next time we see him in trouble, we do whatever we can to make sure he is happy. I mean, we were raised to help others, and what better way is to help this kid. Plus, I am a comedian so making people happy is my job."

"That's a brilliant idea, sis! We can be his friends and defend him from Crash Jackson!"

"Oh please. I can't take full credit. The idea just _popped_ in my head." She fired the party popper in her hand, followed by her laughing.

At that moment, knocking could be heard at their door. The door opened, revealing Lori and Leni. "Hey Luna. Luan. We need to talk." Lori began.

"It's about that poor kid we saw earlier." Leni said.

"Me and Leni decided that it would be best if we help this kid. He looked so miserable. The least we could do is tell Principal Walker." Lori explained.

"Really?" asked Luna. "Me and Luan were planning on befriending him and backing him up from those jerks."

"Yeah. Treating him like that is totally _bull_ oney." Luan joked as she laughed at her pun; the others merely rolled their eyes.

"If he's into music, I can invite him to sit with me and my friends."

"Well at least we have a plan." Lori said. "We can work this out later down the road."

"You mean when we're driving to the lake house?" asked Leni.

"No, Leni. It's a metaphor."

"Ooooooh!"

Lori silently stared at her younger sister with a deadpan look.

"You have no idea what a metaphor is, do you?"

"Nope!" Leni smiled.

Lori groaned as she face palmed.

i got my pizza :D

-o-o-o-o-o-

A Michigan Whitetail Deer bent down to graze on some grace in an opening in the forest. He bit down on some blades of grass and consumed it; this deer had a white spot around it's left eye. It examined its area before bending down to take another bite.

However, unknown to it, a predatory lurked in the shadows of the forest. Earth's #1 predator: Man.

Matt quietly stepped into the darkness, examining the deer. He took a look at the deer's left eye and took note of the white spot. This was the deer he was hunting for months, and it was meters in front of him. He smiled as he took aim through his telescopic scope.

Thanks to some scent remover, the deer would have trouble smelling him. When it came to hunting, Matt was a professional and took extra precautions to make sure he's safe when he's hunting and that the hunt is successful.

He aimed his rifle at the heart of the deer, like a true professional. However, the deer perked up, it's ears rotating. Suddenly, it ran off. Not wanting to lose it, Matt took a couple shots at the deer, hoping it would hit its target. Unfortunately, the only thing he hit was a tree.

Matt groaned in defeat.

Jack the Sparrow, from earlier, fell from the tree and onto the ground. Jack's eyes spiraled as he became dizzy from when the tree shook from the gunshots.

"So close." Matt mumbled to himself. He checked his watch to find out it was passed 3:00. "I should head home. Not that I'm welcome there anyways but hey, where the hell am I supposed to go? It's not like any other family will take me up for adoption and save me from this hell that's my life."

He began walking back to the forest entrance, keeping his eyes and ears opened for any incoming predators. Meanwhile, Jack got up from the ground and shook his head. He turned to the direction to Matt and glared at him, before flying off.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Lynn Sr. stood in the back of Vanzilla with a checklist as the family placed their bags on top of it.

"Well, it looks like we're all set." Lynn Sr. said as he checked off the last box. "You sure you'll watch over the house for us, Mr. Grouse?"

"You can count on me, Loud." Mr. Grouse replied back. "Just as long as you have those lasagnas ready for me when you come back."

"Don't worry. I'll make sure to put extra cheese on it."

"That's what I'm talking about!"

"Honey! You ready?!" Lynn Sr. shouted.

"Lynn, I'm behind you." Rita said from behind.

Lynn Sr. turned around to see his whole entire family standing behind him. "Oh… Well let's go!"

"Wait." Lucy stopped, in her usual monotone voice. She got on top of Vanzilla and grabbed her precious bust, Edwin. "I'm not taking any chances of losing, Edwin."

"That doll seriously creeps me out, dude." Luna mentioned.

"It's not a doll. It's a bust." Lucy corrected.

"That sure is the _bust_ doll I've ever seen." Luan joked as she laughed.

"I told you it's- oh, nevermind." Lucy gave up.

"Is everyone ready?" asked Lynn Sr. Everyone nodded. "Then let's go."

Everyone got in Vanzilla and waited for their father to start the car up. They waited… and waited… and waited… and waited even more.

"You forgot the keys to car, didn't you?" asked Rita, not surprised.

"Totally did." Lynn Sr said in a smile before getting out of the car.

His wife merely groaned and face palmed. Soon, Lynn Sr came back with the car keys and got back in the car. He started up Vanzilla and backed out of the driveway. They all waved goodbye to Mr. Grouse, who waved back. Their trip to the lake house was all set and they honestly couldn't wait to get there.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Matt pedaled into the driveway of his house, where he left the bike there. He unbuckled the case to the gun and placed it in the garage. He was about to walk inside until his father caught his attention… again.

"Hey!" Steve shouted.

Matt groaned in response. "What?" he asked, with annoyance in his voice.

Steve was still working on that rundown car of his as earlier today.

"I need you to head over across the street to borrow a some soap and water. We're all out." Steve replied. Matt gave him a confused look. "That ain't a question. Now go!"

Matt groaned out loud once more. He lazily walked over across the street to do what his father told him to do.

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Thanks again for letting be borrow your cleaning supplies, Mrs. Johnson." Matt thanked the elementary school teacher.

"It's no problem." Agnes replied. "But uh, before you go, can I ask you something?"

"What is it?" asked Matt.

Agnes was hesitant at first, not wanting to ask a personal question. But she was a teacher, and it's a teacher's job to make sure a kid is safe, and she needed to know this badly.

"Are your parents… nice to you?" she hesitantly asked.

Matt gave her a deadpanned look, not responding. "Have a nice day, Mrs. Johnson." is all he said before walking off.

Agnes couldn't blame him. It was a personal question.

Matt crossed the street, unaware of Vanzilla coming at him. Lynn Sr. saw him at the last moment and pressed hard on the brakes, gasping in the process. Matt turned his head to the left as he hear brakes; he saw Vanzilla coming at him. Like a deer in a headlights, literally, he stood there, frozen from fear.

At that exact moment, Vanzilla hit Matt, causing him to fall down a few feet; he grunted in pain.

"Oh my God." Lynn Sr. said.

"Did you kill him?!" asked Lana.

"I hope not."

Matt stood up, putting his hood back on to hide his hair just in time for the Loud family to not see it. He grabbed the cleaning supplies as he glared at the car in front of him.

"Hey, you alright?" asked Lynn Sr.

"I'm walking here!" Matt angrily replied. He kicked one of Vanzilla's headlights, breaking it. He continued to walk across the street, grumbling to himself in a foreign language. "Ich hatte es mit diesem ort. Diese stadt und alle anderen können in der Hölle brennen! (I've had it with this place. This city and everyone in it can burn in hell!)" He spat some blood out. "Fuuuuuuuu!"

"Hey, Steven! I got your cleaning supplies!" Matt shouted.

"What the hell did you call me?!" Steve asked as he slammed the hood of the car.

"You heard me!" Matt shouted back as he threw the cleaning supplies over to his father.

"You better respect me or I swear I'm gonna make you sleep in that basement for the rest of your life!"

"Respect my ass!" Matt retorted.

"MATILDA!" Steve shouted in pure anger.

Matt walked over to the garage and entered it. The Loud family watched this transpire, in complete shock at what relationship those two had. Especially when his father said he would lock him in the basement for all eternity. What father would say that.

"Lynn." Rita caught her husband's attention. "We should go. There's a line of traffic behind us."

"Right. Right. Right." Lynn Sr. replied as he drove off.

The Loud siblings all looked out the window to see Matt shutting the garage door, concealing himself inside and out of their sights. The four oldest siblings all looked at each other, all of them not knowing this what usually happens when Matt wasn't at school.


	4. Joined in Hospitality

A ball bounced on the side of a wall in a dark room. The ball bounced once more, and once again. The ball returned to its owner, who sat on the mattress in the dark basement. Matt was punished once more for talking back to his father and calling him by his first name. It was also because he didn't get a case of beer again when he came back from hunting. But Steve didn't tell him, he doesn't tell him anything.

Matt sighed in boredom, not knowing what to do. He threw the ball towards the wall again, I mean, what else can he do? A sudden sharp pain filled his stomach. He grabbed it, flinching in pain. His Crohn's disease was getting worse with each day he spent in this house.

"I need my bong." he muttered to himself.

His doctor prescribed him with medical marijuana to help treat the disease, since his parents won't pay for an actual treatment, so they settled with the marijuana. Mostly because they wanted to take a hit from it as well.

Matt got up from his mattress and walked over to the basement door. He opened it slightly, seeing if anyone was in the area. Luckily for him, no one was. He quietly snuck out the basement and down the hall, careful enough to not step on any of the creaky floorboards.

He knew the house from basement to kitchen and knew where every creaky floorboard and unstable tile was.

He snuck down the hallway as he pushed his bedroom door opened; he had no doorknob as it broke literally years ago when his father walked into his room to ask for a pair of scissors. He just hasn't fixed it and probably will never fix it.

He crawled into his room where his rainbow colored bong lied next to his mattress, along with the lighter. He chose the color himself. It was either normal clear or rainbow, so he chose rainbow. He grabbed it and quietly snuck out his room, examining his surroundings. Luckily no one heard him.

He snuck down the hallway as he walked back into the basement. At that that moment, the sounds of a door opening could be heard. Matt, in a state of panic, quickly shut the door, careful enough to not make a sound. Then voices could be heard.

"The van is already packed up." one voice could be heard. "We just need you and your family to move into the house and everything will be settled.

"Excellent work, my boy." the voice of his father could be heard.

Curiosity hit him like a truck, or Vanzilla in this case. He turned around, wondering who he was talking to. Matt slightly opened the door to see his father talking to a man in a trench coat. Of course, Matt knew who this was.

"I'm telling you, being closer to your job feels more relaxing than being miles away." Steve said.

"If you say so." the man in the trench coat replied.

"Joseph? What's he doing here?" asked Matt to himself.

"This house seems a little expensive if you ask me." Joseph skeptically said as he held a picture in his hand. "Why'd you buy it?"

Steve smacked the picture away as it landed right in front of the basement door. Matt picked it up and examined the picture. It was a big house, a two story house, with a gate and a pathway leading into the front entrance. The whole house gave off an "old and abandoned" vibe. His father was an old schooled perfectionist, and what better old schooled is to buy an old house in the 50's.

"It's out of sight from the public and hidden fairly well." Steve replied. "The law enforcement won't even know where I am."

"You know they could track your phone, right?" asked Joseph.

"Which is why I'm asking you to place a scrambler on top of the roof. If anyone tries to track my signal, the location will be bouncing off the entire map of Michigan thanks to the scrambler and they'll never know where I am. So I can make phone calls without worrying of any FBI or Police Department appearing at my doorstep." Steve explained.

"All this... for… bobble heads?" asked Joseph.

"Joseph. Joseph. Joseph." Steve teased. "That's what your problem is. You don't dig enough to find the truth. It's not the bobble heads… it's what's _inside_ the bobble heads."

Joseph grew a skeptical look, raising his eyebrow. "Just what kind of job did you hire me and my men to protect? If you put my family in danger-"

"I don't give a fuck about your family!" Steve shouted, cutting him off. "It is because of me that your head isn't my bedside lamp shade! Therefore I would like it if you don't ask too many questions about my job!"

"Okay, Steve! Okay." Joseph replied, calming his boss down.

"Excellent. Now, that scrambler isn't gonna put itself on the antenna of my roof." Joseph didn't move a muscle and seemed hesitant. "What are you waiting for?! Get out of here!"

Joseph walked out the house and shut the door. Steve turned around to head to his own bedroom. Matt quietly shut the basement door, figuring out what transpired in front of him. Matt wasn't aware of what job his father had, mostly because he never told him, but the rest of his family of course he told.

He didn't think to much of it, mostly because of the pain in his stomach. He walked down the basement stairs and sat on his mattress. He grabbed the lighter from his pocket and lit the bong; he smoked the bong as his eyes became pink from being high off the drug.

Matt wasn't one for drugs. Just because he was a loner, doesn't mean he has to follow the stereotypical ways of a loner. But, this was for his Crohn's disease and his doctor did prescribe him for it.

At that moment, everything became slower as the noises echoed around him. The marijuana kicked it real quick. This was one of the side effects but, it treated his disease so he didn't complain.

 _I fly like paper, get high like planes_

 _If you catch me at the border I got visas in my name_

 _If you come around here, I make 'em all day_

 _I get one down in a second if you wait_

 _I fly like paper, get high like planes_

 _If you catch me at the border I got visas in my name_

 _If you come around here, I make 'em all day_

 _I get one down in a second if you wait_

Matt fell on his mattress, as many hallucinations surrounded him. He smiled a childlike smile.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Jack the Sparrow landed on a grassy lawn, searching for some food. He studied the area before pecking a worm off the ground. He smiled as he prepared himself to take off. Suddenly, the ground shook as a shadow appeared in front of Jack.

He blinked before turning around to meet eye to eye with a Peregrine Falcon. The falcon glared at Jack as the sparrow shrunk down in fear. He let go of the worm and placed it in front of the falcon, offering it's food. When the falcon didn't take it, Jack slightly pushed it forward to it. The falcon didn't want the worm for it's breakfast, it wanted Jack.

The falcon gave a grin as its tongue stuck out in hunger. Jack's eyes shrunk as he gulped; poop fell out from behind.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Jack screamed

Jack flew away, the falcon followed suit; the two passed the Dillon's residence.

Matt opened his eyes as he laid on the mattress he slept on last night. He stretched as he accidentally hit his bong. Thinking nothing of it, he proceeded to get up, but stopped when he noticed something odd. A bowl of fish heads laid next to the mattress. Realizing this was his breakfast, Matt kicked the bowl and proceeded to head to the basement stairs, leading up to the doorway.

As soon as he opened the door, the sounds of screaming could be heard. He turned to the kitchen where his mother, Gina, was holding her pregnant stomach. Steve came busting in through the backdoor.

"Steve! The baby! It's coming!" Gina shouted.

Steve wasted no time as he grabbed her; he turned to Matt. "What are you standing there for? Get the door!" Steve shouted.

Matt ran over to the door and opened it, as his parents walked out. Steve guided his way towards the SUV's passenger door. Gina got in as Matt's brother got in through the back door; Matt took the right side of the backseat. Steve got in the driver's seat and immediately put the keys in the slot and pressed the gas pedal, and off they went to the hospital to deliver the baby.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Matt and Derek sat in the waiting room, sitting opposite sides of each other, both looking down. Matt never had a good relationship with his brother, and he was only 2 years older than him. Matt being 15 and Derek being 17, both were at the same height. Matt grew faster than his family thanks to a growth spurt at age 10, and his hair grew fast as well. Everything about him was fast, but not in bed, yeah?

Derek was usually a, well let's just say an asshole to him. Derek seemed to take part on his father's side a lot, and even more on his mother's side. Thus, making the entire family against Matt, or Matilda as he calls him by his full name. At one point in Matt's life, Derek called him a "disgusting freak" and that he was embarrassed of him. Luckily for Matt, it takes a lot to make him mad. He was always very chill and supportive of others, even if they don't support him of his lifestyles.

Lifestyle. That's something that meant a lot to Matt. It's because of his lifestyle that's gets him to become the main target of humiliation at school, the reason why he's so miserable. But Matt is one to look at the silver lining. He always focuses on the good and rarely thinks about the bad. But that doesn't mean he wished he had another family.

"It's your fault, you know."

Matt looked up to see his older brother, Derek, looking at him; his words catching his attention. "What?" he asked.

"It's your fault that this family is broken." Derek clarified.

"What do you mean?"

"The reason why mom and dad hate you so much. It's because you don't commit to the family."

"Why should I commit to a family that doesn't love me?" Matt sat up straight.

Derek did the same. "Because who else are you gonna run to? Hm? You do what we say when we say it. You don't defy us. You follow our rules."

"Dillweed, your rules consist of hurting me as much as possible. Listen I understand that they wanted a girl but it's not my fault that I have a penis. Tough shit. That doesn't mean they need stop loving me."

"That's the exact reason why." Derek stood up. "Don't you see what dad is creating. The perfect family. Husband, wife, and two kids: boy and girl. Living together in a big house. But thanks to you, you little mistake, we ended up living in a complete dump. Why do you think dad punishes you a lot."

"You mean abuse?"

"It's because everything is your fault. You need motivation in order to be better. Do you know what motivates people?" Derek walked up to Matt. He bent down and got real close to Matt's face, almost touching his nose with his. Matt got extremely uncomfortable at the moment as a sharp silence filled the area between them. "Fear." Derek finally finished.

He walked back to his seat, leaving Matt to his own thoughts. At that moment, the doors opened, revealing his mom in a wheelchair and his dad next to her. Derek put a smile on his face as he walked over to his family. Matt however stayed behind.

"It's a girl!" his father stated. "We're naming her Ashley."

For some reason that he couldn't think of, he felt something was off. Now that they finally have a girl, he felt like his time with the family was coming short to an end. He couldn't explain it but he just knew…

Oh, how right he is.

-o-o-o-o-o-

The trip back home was a quiet one for the Dillons. Even though there was a new member of the family, Matt still felt scorn. During the trip he kept looking out the window, refusing to make eye contact with his family.

Steve looked at the rear view mirror to see his second son staring out the window. A small grin appeared on his face just then, and not the good kind.

He purposely stopped the car on the side of the road. Realizing they stopped, Matt turned to his father.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Something must be wrong with the engine. Go and check it out."

Matt sighed, knowing it was useless to fight. He unbuckled his seat belt as he opened the car door. As soon as he closed it, Steve immediately locked the doors. Matt turned around to see his family staring at him.

"Hey." he said. He pulled the door handle. "Why'd you lock it."

"Because," Steve begun. "now that we finally have a daughter, our family's perfect now. You're of no use to us anymore."

"So what! You're just abandoning me out here?!"

"Nooooo. I'm abandoning you out in the middle of nowhere."

"That's the same thing!"

"Love to stay and chat kiddo, but we got places to be. See ya."

With that, Steve drove off; Derek rolled down the window and stuck his head out. "Ta-ta, Matilda!" Afterwards, he laughed as he returned his head back inside the car.

Matt just stood there in disbelief. His own family just left him on the side of the road, alone. He had nowhere to go. Nowhere to live. He knew his dad bought a new place somewhere but he didn't say where exactly. Matt had no leads to find them.

He just stood there, motionless, in silence, before breaking it.

"How could this day get any worse?" he asked himself in a depressed tone. At that moment, howling could be heard. Matt cocked his head to the left to see a pack of five wolves growling and snarling at him. "I just had to ask."

-o-o-o-o-o-

Vanzilla drove down the road carrying its passengers. The Loud family were returning back from their vacation at the lake house. If anything could describe the vacation, it was ecstatic.

"That was the BEST vacation EVER!" Lincoln exclaimed.

Everyone agreed with him.

"Remember when Luna jammed on top of the roof and sung that song? That was sweet." Lynn said.

"And the time Leni rode her horse straight into a wall. That was funny." Lola remembered.

"It appeared out of nowhere. I swear!" Leni exclaimed, a bandage on her nose.

"Yo dudes, remember when Luan pranked the manager and got pie all over his face?" asked Luna.

"And then the manager hung Luan on the coat rack." Lincoln added, smiling.

"I said I was sorry!" Luann exclaimed off screen. "There was definitely no way to _coat_ the situation." Luan laughed at her own joke as everyone else groaned.

"Can we go there again next year, mom?" asked Lana.

"We'll see, honey." Rita responded. "I was thinking we take a vacation at the beach next summer."

"Mother, there are no beaches here in Michigan. Unless you count the three major lakes, that is." Lisa corrected.

"Which is why your father and I are thinking of traveling across country down to Florida so we could go to the beach. We may even buy a hotel room."

This got everyone excited. They all began talking at once, clearly ecstatic about the idea.

"Alright, settle down." their father said, stopping them. "How about a little road trip music. Who's up for some 99 Cartons of Milk on the Wall?"

...What? That's the best I got.

"We are!" his kids replied in union.

"99 Cartons of Milk on the Wall. 99 Cartons of Milk." everyone sang. "Take one down, pass it around. Now you have-"

"AAAAAAAHH!"

The song was interrupted by their father's screaming. He slammed the breaks as a person ran in front of them; that person was Matt… once more. Vanzilla's brakes proved to be untrustworthy as it did a poor job at braking.

It was bound to happen. Vanzilla impacted Matt, causing him to fly a few feet away from the car; the car finally stopped.

"Dang it!" Lynn Sr exclaimed. "That's twice in one week!" He saw Matt moving his arms, groaning, and recognized the outfit. "And it's the same kid!"

"Two for one! Two for one!" Lana exclaimed.

This time everyone got out of the car and approached Matt, who lied motionless on the ground; his face on the ground.

"Hey, buddy. You alright?" asked Lynn Sr.

"Yo dude, say somethin'. You're seriously creepin' us out, bro." Luna added with a scared tone.

"Maybe he really is dead." Lana said.

Matt opened his eyes, his vision blurry. He groaned as he lifted him up on the ground, but fell right on his butt soon afterwards.

"What happened?" he asked himself.

"Woah." Lynn said.

"What is he?" asked Lola.

"I thought he was a guy. Why does he look like a girl?" asked Lana.

"Look at his hands." Lucy commented.

Matt turned to the voices he heard and met with the eyes of the Loud family. Wondering what the goth one said, Matt looked down to his hands, only to discover a shocking realization. His gloves were off, revealing his painted nails.

He looked all around him to see his rings scattered. He quickly picked all of them up and placed them on his fingers; his pockets being torn weren't the best option right now.

A sudden breeze hit his head, something he wasn't so used to. He touched his head to feel his hood… except he didn't feel his hood. His long black hair was fully revealed to the public.

"Are those earrings?" asked Leni.

Now his worst fears came true. His odd looks were no longer a secret. He turned and faces the family with pleading eyes.

"I-I-It's not what it looks like! I-I-I-I lo-lost a bet. T-T-That's all!" He tried to explained.

At that moment, loud barking could be heard. Everyone turned their attention to the five wolves that chased Matt earlier. Their leader, the black furred one, howled as the four ran up to Matt; fear took over his body as they pounced on him and began biting his flesh. Soon the leader joined in as well.

"No! No! No no no no no no no no! AAAH! AAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Matt's loud, girlish screams echoed through the road.

The wolves began to maul him, Matt losing consciousness faster and faster. Soon the, he would experience shock and everything would be a blur. Soon he won't be able to discern sounds, pictures or feelings anymore. Everything will be mixed into some compound.

However, the pain stopped after a swift kick to the wolf's head caused them to let go of Matt. He could hear voices but to him there were just echoes. He did hear one thing though:

"CALL 911 NOW! NOW! DAMNIT, NOW!" a female teenager's voice could be heard.

And then, Matt's visioned blackened.

-o-o-o-o-o-

The sound of beeping woke up Matt, as he slowly opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was a ceiling, but he didn't recognize it. He looked all around him to see that he was in a hospital room. But how did he get here?

Stood next to him was a doctor, writing on a clipboard. It wasn't until he slightly turned his head to his patient to see that he was awake.

"Oh good. You're awake." the doctor said.

"What happened?" asked Matt.

"You got hit by a car and then afterwards got mauled by a pack of wolves." the doctor explained.

"That's weird. I usually get mauled by coyotes." The doctor began chuckling as Matt simply stared at him in confusion. The doctor looked at Matt and realized he wasn't laughing at all, but instead had a serious expression plastered on his face. "What?"

The doctor's smile faded. "O-Oh! That wasn't- That wasn't a jo- Oh. My. Oh God. Ohum." The doctor cleared his throat in awkwardness. "So, uhm, my name is Dr. Thompson, and I'm gonna be asking you a series of questions."

"Just don't ask me to lunch." Matt joked. Dr. Thompson gave a confused look, unknowingly how to respond. " _That_ one was a joke."

"Oh! Uh. Good one." he replied back in equal awkwardness as before. "So, first question: Do you know your name?"

"Matilda Dillon." Matt replied.

"Okay, so he's delusional." Dr. Thompson checked a box on his clipboard.

"I'm serious! That's name my name! It's why I just go by Matt. My parents wanted a girl so they named me Matilda but found out I was a boy the whole time."

"How did they not realize you weren't a girl. It's pretty obvious down there."

"Don't ask me. I've been asking the same question for several years now."

Dr. Thompson shrugged. "Okay, so second question: Do you know how you got here?"

Matt raised his eyebrow. "Didn't you just-"

"Oh yeah, that's right I told you. Uh, third question: Are you in any pain right now?"

"Well my whole body is sore if you that helps." Matt answered.

Dr. Thompson looked at hs clipboard. "Okay, so he's not dead."

"Wha?"

"Well, based on these answers you've given me, I can give a diagnosis. Sir, you have brain cancer." Dr. Thompson seriously stated. Matt gave a very confused, and shocked, look. Dr. Thompson looked back at his clipboard and realized a mistake. "Oh! Whoops! Heh. Wrong file. That one is for a 4 year old in the next room." He got real close to Matt. "Don't tell him this: I told him he has 6 months to live. He dies tomorrow."

"What?" a little kid's voice asked.

Dr. Thompson turned around to see a little kid sitting on the hospital bed.; his skin was pale and had no hair at all. "Whoops. I forgot you two are sharing a room." He grabbed the curtains and pulled them, creating a wall between the two patients. "So for your diagnosis:... You're perfectly fine. Just a few scrapes and bruises… and bite marks. But other than that, you're fine. But it does appear you're losing blood flow in your fingers."

Matt looked at his fingernails to still see the black nail polish on. He sighed at the doctor's incompetence. "This is nail polish."

"Well that explains why it smells like my mother's in here. Oh. Speaking of mother, I've got a surprise for you." Dr. Thompson turned to the door. "You can come in now!" At that moment, the door opened and in came the Loud family. "Ta-da! Your family is here!"

"These aren't my family! These are the people that hit me with their car!" Matt retorted back at the doctor.

"Oh… Uh…" He turned to the family. "No hitting people with your cars." he tried to scold.

"We just came here to check up on you." Rita explained. "It's not everyday you hit people with your car."

"Actually mother, at least fifteen people get hit by some form of vehicles everyday." Lisa corrected.

"And I thought Lucy was all gloom and doom." Lynn muttered.

"She took my job." Lucy almost said in disappointment.

Dey terk er jerbs!

"Well either way we felt sorry about the incident. Our four oldest daughters persuaded us to come visit you." Rita explained. Matt turned to Lily, Lisa, Lola, and Lana. "Those are the youngest."

"Oh."

He turned to Lori, Leni, Luna, and Luan.

"Hi." Leni greeted.

"We felt bad for hitting you with Vanzilla, dude. So to make it up, we bought something that we thought you would like." Luna explained.

The group stood there in silent, until Luna nudged Lori. "Oh!" From behind her back, she gave Matt a bottle of nail polish.

"Gold Nail Polish." Matt read.

"We didn't know what else to give you and we saw the nail polish on your fingers so we thought that… maybe you like nail polish… so we… got… some…" Luan slowly stopped talking. "Sorry if this is somewhat offensive to you, we honestly didn't know what else to give you. I swear, our faces aren't _painted_ with lies." Luan then laughed at her own joke.

"Really, dude? Right now?" asked Luna.

"What? I can't help it! It's a force of habit!" Luan retorted.

"Uh… thanks." Matt replied. "I mean it. Seriously, thanks." Matt placed the nail polish on the table next to him.

"So how are you feeling?" asked Lynn Sr.

"Well at least I don't have brain cancer." Matt joked.

Whimpering could be heard behind the curtain as the family turned their heads around.

"Well, we should go before you family shows up." Rita said.

"I don't think they'll be showing up any time soon." Matt replied in a depressed tone.

The family gave him a confused look. "What do you mean?" asked Lincoln.

"Well the reason why I was out there on my own was, funny thing is… they abandoned me." Matt nonchalantly replied.

The family gasped.

"Oh no, that's terrible." Dr. Thompson said in a unsympathetic tone. He wasn't even paying attention as he was reading a Naughty Nurses magazine.

"They abandoned you?" asked Lori. "Why did they abandoned you?"

"Well my parents always wanted a girl but instead they got me. So today my mom gave birth to a baby girl and on the way back home they just left me on the side of the road." Matt explained. "Its why name is Matilda."

"Wait, I thought Matt was short for Matthew?" asked Leni.

"It's short for Matilda in my case." Leni scratched her head in confusion. "Don't think too much into it." Leni went crossed eyed as the dial up sound could be heard.

"Too late." Luna said.

"So wait, do you have any place to stay?" asked Lynn.

"I'm still working on that." Matt replied. "But at least there's a silver lining: My life isn't completely screwed up. I don't have to deal with those freaks anymore."

Lori, Luna, and Luan all looked at each other before silently agreeing.

"Uh, mom, dad. Can we talk to you for a second?" asked Lori.

"Sure, honey." Rita answered before turning back to Matt. "We'll be right back."

The parents and the three sisters walked out, passing Leni who was still cross eyed. Lori came up from behind and smacked the back of her head, knocking her out of the trance. She dragged her outside the hospital room.

"So what's on your minds?" asked Lynn Sr.

The four looked at each other, nodding. "We've decided that it would be best for us AND Matt that maybe we could help him out at school." Lori started.

"Oh. That's real nice of you girls. I'm proud of you." Rita said.

"Buuuuut since we just found he doesn't have a place to stay, we thought…"

The parents soon caught on. "Lori, as much as I would love to help that kid, there's simply not enough room for him."

"But mom! He has nowhere else to stay!" Luna tried to persuade. "Can he just stay a couple of nights until we find him a place?"

"Trust me girls, I'm up for the idea," Lynn Sr began. "but the fact is that our family is already big enough. Adding another member would be too much. Where would he even sleep?"

"He can sleep in our rooms." Luna replied.

"Are you sure?" asked Rita. "A teenage boy sleeping in a room with two girls his age? That might just lead to a lot of… well…"

"Trust us, mom. We'll make sure he doesn't have those thoughts about us." Luan assured. "Besides, I doubt he's into that stuff anyway."

"The worst that could possibly happen with him is that he throws a rockin' party or somethin'. But like my sis said, I doubt he'll do that. He doesn't really have friends at school, and people torment him all the time." Luna replied.

"Yeah! The whole school is, like, against him. I don't think he has friends." Leni added.

"You guys raised us to think of others and treat them with respect. Let us help him." Lori said.

"Yeah!" the other three agreed.

"Well even if we said yes, this is all up to him." Lynn Sr replied.

"Well then let's ask him." Lori said before walking back into the room, followed by the rest.

The scene didn't really change. The rest were standing by the bed with Matt laying in it. "-so pretty much the whole building burned down because of the guy. Oh, they're back. That was fast." Matt said in a monotone, calm voice.

The four walked over to his bed. "Matt, we have a question for you."

"Condition, shampoo, and then rinse if you have long hair. That's what I do." Matt answered.

"What?" Lori asked. "N-No. That's not it. Matt, since you have no place to stay we thought that maybe you could… live with us."

Matt stared at them with a blank look, not responding. Silence filled the area once more before he gave his answer. "Okay."

"See. I told you he wouldn't-... Huh?" asked Rita.

"I said 'okay'." Matt clarified.

"Really?" asked Luna.

"Yeah. I'm not passing an opportunity of a new place to live. I don't wanna become homeless."

"Great!" Lori exclaimed.

"Alright so now what?" asked Lynn Sr enthusiastically.

Lori stood silent. "I don't know. I didn't think we would get this far." Lori replied.

"Well for starters you can sleep in mine and Luan's room. We can get you a sleeping bag." Luna offered.

"Eh, that's fine. I can just take the couch." Matt responded.

"Really?" asked Leni. "Because a sleeping bag is, like, more comfy than a couch."

"Not the first time I've had to sleep on a couch. I've couch surfed for the most of my life. I'm used to it. But, I do have a question." Matt stated.

"What is it?" asked Rita.

Matt hesitated as he began playing with his fingers. He didn't want to ask the question but it had to come out soon. "Am I gonna be… like ya know… living there? Or am I just gonna be there until I get my own place. Because either way is fine. I'll at least try to search for apartments to rent while I'm crashing at your place."

"We'll cross the bridge when we get there." Lynn Sr responded.

"So does that mean he'll be living with us forever?" asked Lola.

"Not necessary." Lisa replied. "Matt could move out any time, or at least when he becomes and adult at age 18 and finds a place. But, this is all on him. He can choose to live with us until he's 18 or move out when he's ready to."

"Actually, Lisa, it's impossible for him to find a place to stay when he's only… how old are you?" asked Rita.

"15… or 16. I'm not sure." Matt replied.

"Well either way he's not old enough to own a place to stay. So I guess that only leaves one option."

"He'll be living with us for now on." Lynn Sr finished.

"Really?" asked Matt.

"Really?" asked the Loud kids.

"Well it's the least we could do after we hit him with Vanzilla… twice… and the fact he has no place to stay."

 **(Apologies if these aren't realistic lines from the characters. I'm currently listening to music on my speaker on the side of my desk. _Bad_ by Michael Jackson is playing right now… Man this song is catchy!)**

"Wow… I… Wow." Matt was astonished. "I don't know what to say. Thank you first of all. Second of all… you HAVE to condition your hair first before shampooing it. And when you're shampooing it, don't shampoo the ends of your hair. Otherwise you'll get split ends."

"We know how to wash our hair." Lori responded.

"Oh… okay."

 **( _Because I'm bad, I'm bad come on! You know I'm bad, I'm bad come on, you know!_ Sorry…)**

"So, Dr. Thompson." Lynn Sr called out.

Dr. Thompson lowered his magazine at the sound of his name. "Huh?" he asked.

"When will he be let out?"

"I dunno." he honestly replied. "To be honest, I'm not even a real doctor. I cheated on my medical exam to get this job. I just came here to give some bad news to that kid over there." he pointed to the brain cancer kid behind the curtain.

He opened the curtain to see the kid lying on the bed, motionless. His heart monitor letting out a long 'beep', indicating that his heart stopped.

"Oh, he's dead." Dr. Thompson said.

 **(** ** _Dirty deeds! Done dirt cheap! Dirty deeds and the done dirt cheap!_** **Sorry again. The song changed...)**


	5. A Burning New Home

_**(My 5 month old kitten wakes me up in 4:30 in the morning just to scratch, bite me, and get up all in my face just to purr in my ears, nose, and eyes so I'm very tired all day because of her… this has nothing to do with the story, I just felt like complaining. Now back to this regularly scheduled FanFiction that only Jesus can fix.**_

 _ **No I can't!)**_

* * *

Jack the Sparrow, who had multiple bandages all over his body and had to use crutches, limped down the sidewalk, having an expression that was a mixture of anger and annoyance.

At that moment, Vanzilla suddenly arrived at their driveway, containing a new passenger.

Everyone entered through the front door, with Matt being last, as they brought in the newest member. Matt looked around the house, studying his surroundings. It was a small house that contained a lot of members. It was like trying to fit cookies in a very small cookie jar.

"Hm." was all he said.

"So this here is the living room." Rita started. "The door behind the couch is our room."

"Right there is the dining room and beyond that is the kitchen. And kids, why don't you show him your rooms." Lynn Sr asked.

"Alright, pops." Luna replied.

The kids, plus Matt, walked up the stairs. Their first destination was Lori and Leni's room.

"So this is mine and Leni's room." Lori said.

"You're, like, totally welcome to hang out with us." Leni added. "We usually have our Sibling Meetings in here."

"Sibling… Meetings? Meetings?" Matt asked, clearly confused.

"It's what we do." Lori replied. "We usually discuss certain topics such as family vacations or situations that happened around the house."

"Emergency Sibling Meetings is when something drastic happens right then and there and is something we need to fix as soon as possible." Lincoln explained.

"Huh." Matt mumbled.

"One more thing. Don't walk into my room without knocking, okay?" Lori asked in a threatening tone.

Matt nodded his head, unfazed from her threat.

Luna opened the door leading to her and Luan's room.

"Check it, brah." Luna said. "This is where all the rock n' roll happens."

"My jokes will have you _rolling_ on the floor. Just don't _rock_ the house from laughing." Luan proceeded to laugh at her own pun.

Matt stared awkwardly at her, not knowing how to respond. Instead, he chuckled awkwardly. "Heh heh. Heh. Heh."

"Don't mind her. That's usually everyone's reactions." Lynn whispered in his ear.

"If you ever wanna jam out with me…" Luna said.

"Or come to a comedy session…" Luan added.

"Then you're welcome to join us, brah." Luna finished.

"Eh, my music is all over the place nowadays. Sometimes I'm into rock, sometimes I'm into rap. Metal, Punk Rock, all that sorts. And I'm not used to having humor around me." Matt explained.

"Well don't worry." Luan placed her arm around him. "My humor will _polish_ your life. Hahahaha!" Luan laughed as she lifted his hand.

"Please don't touch me." Matt said in an uncomfortable tone.

The door opened to Lynn and Lucy's room.

"You into sports?" asked Lynn.

"Not really. I tried out for the football team once." Matt replied.

"And how'd that go?"

"I broke my ribs and arm when my own team tackled me. They even stepped on my crotch multiple times."

Lincoln hissed in pain as he instinctively grabbed his private area. "Owwww." Lincoln muttered.

"Wait, your own team?" asked Lynn, in need of clarification.

"Don't ask." Matt replied.

"Well don't worry. I'll go easy on ya when we play a little game or two." Lynn replied in a smile.

"She says that but nah." Lincoln warned him.

"Butt out, Stinkoln."

"You into poetry?" asked Lucy.

"Not really." Matt replied.

"Sigh. I guess you're not into vampires, right?"

"I mean, I watched Batman vs Dracula once… Well, I watched it at the TV store when the display TVs were showing it… it was really rainy that night and I didn't have a raincoat…"

"Jesus. He's more depressed than you are, Luce." Luna claimed.

"We have more in common than I thought we did."

Matt raised an eyebrow after this statement. "Okay?" Lola then grabbed Matt by his arm and dragged him out. "Woah!"

Lola dragged him to her and her twin's room. "Here is my personal Royalty Room." Lola stretched out her hand, pointing to all of her room. "And over there is Lana's pigsty."

"At least I have taste." Lana replied.

"Please. You wouldn't know taste if it hit you in the face." she faced Matt afterwards. "Don't mind her. You're always welcome to attend to my tea parties. You will attend to them, won't you?" she puppy eyed Matt, as her lower lip quivered.

Matt awkwardly smiled as she patted her head, squinting in the progress.

"If you ever want to play in the mud, you can always join me." Lana offered.

"I'll be sure to remember that." Matt said, not knowing what else to say.

Their next destination was Lisa and Lily's room. The door opened as Matt walked inside. The first thing he saw were the test tubes and various science objects on Lisa's desk.

"Don't mind the mess." Lisa apologized. "It's usually like this almost everyday of the week. I usually test experiments in here and you're more than welcome to help me with said experiments. If you're willing to, you can be my test subject for safety measures.."

"So basically be your guinea pig?" asked Matt.

"Precisely."

"Lisa, I doubt Matt would be your guinea pig." Lynn said.

"My pay is $30. I'm in." Matt suddenly said.

Everyone grew wide eyes at his easy decision. "So it's money that has you yearn for. Hm?"

"Hey, man. I'm willing to do anything for money. I start at $30. Extras cost about $20. So in total that's $50 an hour." Matt explained.

"A young mercenary. Interesting."

"So if I paid you to rock out with me, you'll do it?" asked Luna.

"Yeah." Matt replied.

"And if I paid you to listen to my comedy routine, you would? It's _worth_ a shot. Hahahahaha!"

"I'll pay you to practice sports with me!" Lynn exclaimed.

"And to help me write my poems." Lucy added.

"And to attend my tea parties." Lola chimed in.

"Yes. Yes. Yes. Still no, sorry." Matt replied all in once.

"Awww." Lola looked to the ground in defeat.

"But no kinky stuff." Matt added. "I may be a teenage boy but that doesn't mean I have to follow the stereotype. I'm an Asexual and an Aromantic."

"Ewww. That's, like, gross!" Leni exclaimed in disgust.

"Leni, 'asexual' and 'aromantic' means a person who has no feelings or desires for any sexual pleasure or romance with another. But that doesn't mean an aromantic doesn't feel love. They can still love, such as platonic love, or a love between a mother and child, or love between friends.." Lisa explained.

"Both of which I never received." Matt mumbled.

"Well that concludes the tour." Lola concluded.

"AHEM!" someone cleared their throat beside her. Lola turned to her left to see Lincoln eyeing her. "Oh, I forgot. We have Lincoln's room."

The group walked out the hallway and turned to Lincoln's room. He opened the door and let Matt in. He walked in and looked all over the place. "This it?" he asked.

"Yeah. It's a small room. But I don't mind." Lincoln explained. "This was a linen closet before I was born. At least I get privacy and I don't have to share a room… well except for that one time. Hey, you into Ace Savvy?"

"You mean that card superhero?" asked Matt.

"That's the one."

"Nah. I'm not into comics." Matt replied.

"Are you into video games, at least?" asked Lincoln.

"Yeah, my parents never really allowed me to play video games. They never allowed me to have any fun in general. The only time when I did play video games was when I used to go to the computer lab during lunch and play CS:GO with a bunch of people. This one guy brought a flash drive and passed it around. I'm not really good but I'm decent."

"Is it a computer game?" asked Luna.

"Specifically a computer game. As far as I know, no other console has it. If I had my own computer, I would play it all day… Oh I forgot! I have a Karambit Autotronic at home!"

"A what now?" asked Lori.

"It's a type of knife in the game. I have it hidden in my room."

"Well we do need to head to your former residence to acquire your personal belongings." Lisa explained.

"Actually the only things that I have at home are my Karambit Autotronic, my bracelets, and my custom Chopper." Matt replied.

"You have a helicopter?" asked Leni.

"No, Leni. It means he has a motorcycle- Wait, what?!" Lori stopped herself.

"You have your own bike, dude! That's sweet!" Luna exclaimed.

"Do you know how to ride it?" asked Lynn.

"If I didn't know, why would I have it?" asked Matt, rhetorically.

"Well we should get to your house before it gets dark." Lori explained. "You wanna go now?"

"Wait! Hold on!" Lincoln exclaimed, stopping everyone. "Won't his parents be there. I mean, what if they see us with him?"

"Oh they're not there anymore." Matt replied. "They moved into some old abandoned house in God knows where. They wouldn't have abandoned me on the side of the road if they knew I was just gonna return home."

"Wow… That's actually smart of you to think that." Lori complicated.

"It's just common sense." Matt replied in a "matter of factly" sort of way.

"So do you wanna go get your stuff now or tomorrow?" asked Lori.

"Let's just get this over with. I have some unfinished business with that house anyways." With that said, Matt walked out of Lincoln's room and went downstairs. The last statement concerned the group but they thought nothing of it.

* * *

Jack the Sparrow limped across the Loud house's porch, only to be smashed by the door suddenly opening. The group walked out of the house and headed to Vanzilla. "You can have the Sweet Spot, bro." Luna said.

"The what?" asked Matt.

"It's basically a seat where it protects oneself of several inconveniences thus making a trip seem more relaxing to said person." Lisa explained.

Matt stared at her in confusion. "Okay." he blankly said. "I'll just take shotgun."

With that said, everyone got inside Vanzilla, Lori taking the wheel and Matt taking shotgun. Because the parents weren't coming along, there was more than enough room for Matt… well okay more being an understatement.

"Hey, we have an AUX cord. You can play your songs if you want." Lori offered, holding the AUX cord.

Matt reluctantly took it and plugged it into his phone, which was something he bought on his own and pays for it himself. Lori started the car and backed out the driveway Matt skimmed through a playlist he created a long time ago.

"Uh, fair warning, I'm into songs that a normal guy wouldn't be into." Matt warned the others.

"That's okay, bruh." Luna reassured. "Whatever floats your boat, dude."

"Hey guys. _Should I stay or should I go_? Hahahahaha!" Luan joked.

"Hey! Referencing songs are my shtick! Hey- You start jamming out and I'll sue!" Luna threatened as she shook her fist.

"You better not play trash, Matt." Lynn said in a serious tone.

Matt pressed play on his phone as he set it down.

 _Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want!_

"He's playing trash!" Lynn shouted.

"I told you I like songs that normal guys wouldn't like." Matt replied.

 _If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends  
(Gotta get with my friends)  
Make it last forever, friendship never ends  
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give  
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is_

Lincoln sunk in his seat. "I don't know whether I gained a brother or another sister." he muttered to himself.

* * *

Vanzilla drove up to the Dillon's residence and parked in front of it. Lori turned off the car as everyone stared out the windows, just simply looking at the house.

"You think anyone's home?" asked Lincoln.

"I told you before they aren't." said Matt. "The car isn't in the driveway. How long was I in the hospital?"

"A couple of hours." Lynn replied.

Matt sighed. "Then they're long gone. Out of the city and far away from here. Probably still on the road, probably not. I don't know where they're new place is located so I could be in this city, in another. Hell, it could be out of state for all I know. Well… Let's get this over with." With that said, everyone got out of Vanzilla. **(apparently** _ **exited**_ **isn't a word.)**

Matt grabbed the doorknob and turned it, but it stopped. The door was clearly locked. "Locked. What a surprise." Matt sarcastically said.

"How do we get in?" asked Leni.

"Easy."

Matt raised his foot and used all his strength to kick the door. He kicked it so hard that it flew off its hinges and crashed into a wall. The family was astonished by his strength, as they looked at him in awe.

"Remember, no Russian." he quoted, turning to face the family.

He walked inside the house, with the others followed suit and began examining the entire house. Lynn saw a closet door and reached for doorknob. She tried to open it but it turned out it was locked. Getting an idea, she raised her leg and kicked the door… only for her to stumble back. She looked at the door, not even a dent in it, still shut and locked. She groaned in annoyance and limped away, grabbing her leg in the process.

The Loud family examined the rundown dump of a home. They saw several food stains, clothes, papers, everything littered the floor. Cockroaches scattered to hide away from the giants as the wallpaper teared from the walls.

"Holy shmoly." Lola gasped in shock. "This place is a dump!"

"How do you think I feel?" asked Matt. He turned his attention to a speaker, something his father frequently used. He walked over to it and began caressing it.

"What's that you got there?" asked Lincoln.

"My old speaker. It's useless now but I wonder..." Matt flipped on the on/off switch. He grabbed his phone and began typing something onto it. After pushing a final button, Ride of the Valkyries began playing. "Yes! It still works!" Matt began humming in tune with the old music. "See, I prefer the European recordings. The brass sections in American orchestras are too bombastic."

Having enough of it, he turned off the speaker and disconnected it from his phone, as he placed said phone in his pocket. He walked down the hallway, followed by the siblings, and pushed his door. The siblings looked in to see his rundown room, not touched by society. "This is your room?" asked Lori in surprise.

"Yep." Matt replied.

"You don't even have a bed!" Lana exclaimed.

"Or a pillow." Lucy added.

"Yeah. Thanks for reminding me." Matt sarcastically responded.

"Woah, dude." Luna said. She bent down and grabbed Matt's bong. "Is this… a… bong?"

Matt turned to face her, as did everyone else. "Matt, are you a stoner?" asked Lori.

"No! That's medical marijuana! My doctor prescribed it!" Matt explained. "It's for my Crohn's disease."

"You have Crohn's disease?" asked Lisa.

"That's terrible!" Lola exclaimed. She leaned into Lisa. "What's that?" she whispered.

"Crohn's disease is where a chronic inflammatory bowel disease affects the lining of the digestive tract. Some symptoms include diarrhea, fever, fatigue, abdominal pain or cramping, blood in one's stool, mouth sores, reduced appetite and weight loss, and pain or drainage near or around the anus due to inflammation from a tunnel into the skin. In other words, the fistula." Lisa explained.

"I don't want to _butt_ in but I just wanted to say that I would make a joke but it would be _sore_. Hahahahaha!" Luan laughed.

"You're right. It was sore." Lynn sarcastically responded.

"Can it be cured?" asked Lincoln.

"Yes there is. A vaccine that treats it AND cures it." She faced Matt. "How come you never received the vaccine?"

"I never knew there was a cure in the first place! My doctor just prescribed me medical marijuana." Matt explained. "Speaking of which, I need to take a hit. I'm getting pains in my stomach again."

Matt grabbed the bong and sat on his mattress. He grabbed the lighter in his pocket and brought it to the bowl. He lit it as he began inhaling the drug. After a few moments, he stopped and placed the bong down. "Aaaah. Much better."

"Are you… high?" asked Luna, cautiously.

"I didn't inhale that much so I'm still sober. I swear, this is for my disease. I'm not a drug person." He then gained a serious look. "Seriously, don't do drugs. It'll ruin your life. Stay in school, go to college. That way you can rip people off and get paid for it."

Matt packed the bong in a bag, along with the lighter and bracelets that he just grabbed from his desk. He turned to the floor and bent down; he grabbed a floor board and removed it. Inside was a single, red Karambit Autotronic. He grabbed it and lifted it up to the light.

"My $15 Karambit Autotronic. Most valuable personal belonging that I have with me." he said as if he was in a trance.

He placed the knife into his bag and zipped it up.

"Is that everything?" asked Lincoln.

"You guys just get in the car. There's still one more thing I need to do." The others looked at each other in curiosity before leaving his room. "Hey!" he called out. The family turned back. Matt gave his bag to Lincoln. "Take this to the car."

With that he left the group to somewhere else of the house; the family left as well. Matt walked into the garage where a can of gasoline was laid against the wall. He picked it up, it was completely full. He deviously grinned as he began to hatch his plan.

He brought the can into the house and began pouring gasoline in all the rooms. He left a trail of gasoline that came out of his room, his parent's room, and his brother's room. He soaked the couch and the living room before making his way into the kitchen. He walked over to the gas stove and began pouring gasoline all over it.

"Burn, baby. Burn." he mumbled to himself.

He threw the can in the living room, causing gas to soak the walls and ceiling. He walked grabbed a box of matches and walked into his parent's room. He lit the match and threw it on the gasoline trail. Just like that, fire began to spread all over the room.

Wasting no time, he threw the box of matches away and ran out the house.

The family, whom were in Vanzilla, looked to see Matt frantically running out his house, an expression of pure panic was painted on his face.

"GET OUT OF HERE!" he shouted. "GET AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE!"

"What? Why?" asked Lori.

"JUST GO! MUSS SCHNELL! SCHNELL! (MUST FAST! FAST!)" he shouted once more.

Lori, doing as she was told, started the car up and made a U-Turn and drove away. Matt ran over to the garage door and opened it; there in the middle of his garage, was a custom made Chopper motorcycle with a white ghost flame painted on the sides. He got on it, placed the key in the slot, and revved up the engines. He then booked it out of there just in time for the house to explode and go up in flames.

The family looked on in shock and awe to see the house explode behind them. Even Lori saw this through her rear view mirror. "What the hell happened?!" she shouted.

At that moment, honking could be heard. She turned to her left to see Matt riding on his motorcycle, a happy expression on his face. "WOOOOO! Light up my world like nobody else!" Matt shouted before laughing.

 _Revvin' up your engine  
Listen to her howlin' roar  
Metal under tension  
Beggin' you to touch and go_

 _Highway to the danger zone  
Ride into the danger zone_

His radio could be heard as he did a wheelie and got in front of Vanzilla. He laughed and yelled in excitement as the two vehicles rode off into the sunset, back to the Loud house.

* * *

Vanzilla drove up to the driveway as Matt parked his Chopper on the side of the road. Everyone got out or off their respective vehicles. Lori clearly had a steamed look on her face. "What was that?" she asked, sternly.

"I burnt my house down. Never liked it anyway." Matt explained.

"You could've gotten killed!"

"Which is why I told you to move away before it did."

"I don't know why you're so mad, Lori. He didn't really do anything wrong to us." Lynn said.

"Yeah. He just burnt his own house down. Isn't that his problem?" asked Lana.

"But it's not. My parents don't need it anymore and neither do I. It's of no use to me anymore." Matt explained.

"Gee. That's the _brightest_ idea I've heard all day. Hahahahaha! Get it?" asked Luan after she laughed at her own joke; everyone groaned in response.

"Lighten up, sis. No one got hurt. Why are you so mad anyways?" asked Luna.

Lori sighed. "Because Matt could've gotten hurt."

"Aww. You do care about me." Matt mockingly commented.

"Shut it." Lori retorted in a threatening tone.

"Shutting it." Matt replied in fear.

Lori sighed afterwards. "Just promise you won't do it again, okay?"

"How can I burn an already burnt house?" asked Matt.

"An excellent point." Lincoln said.

"Shut up." Lori quickly said. She sighed. "Let's just get in the house. It's been a long day. Matt, you said you were sleeping on the couch, right?"

"Yessiree Bob." Matt replied. "You can just drop by stuff by the couch." The family entered the house as Matt jumped on the couch and laid there. "Woah, dude. This is the most comfiest couch I ever sat on. This is waaaaay better than that mattress I slept on for years."

"Glad you liked it. You going to bed right now?" asked Lincoln.

"Eh, it may take me a couple of- ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ." He immediately fell asleep, snoring.

"Well that answers my question."

"I call a Sibling Meeting, pronto." Lori ordered.

* * *

Everyone gathered around in Lori and Leni's room for the sibling meeting. "Now, you all know why I called this meeting."

"I didn't clog the toilet! I swear!" Leni suddenly exclaimed.

At that moment, all eyes were on her, not know what to do or say. "Most of you know why I called this meeting." Lori corrected himself.

"It's about Matt burning down his house, isn't it?" asked Luna.

"You're half right." Lori admitted. "It's about Matt. Since he's gonna be living with us for now on, there's a few things we need to do. Number 1: Get him a room. He already said so himself that he has no sexual desires, thank God, so we won't have to worry about him sneaking a peek under our covers."

"I wouldn't mind." Leni mumbled in a sensual way.

All eyes were on her now as they looked at her in disgust and confusion.

"Okay, ew." Lori commented. "Second off: He's now apart of this family, which means that we officially have a second brother… or a brother in general in Lincoln's case."

"Yesss." Lincoln pumped his fist in the air.

"So that means that we'll have to start spending time with him. I created a plan along the way back here on how we could do it. We each take a day to spend time with him. The WHOLE day doing what he likes. Or if he wants to do our hobbies with us, he's more than welcome to. Since I'm the oldest, I'll spend the entire day with him tomorrow."

"That's not fair! Why do you get to go first?!" Lola demanded, clearly peeved.

"Lola, why are _you_ mad?" asked Lori.

Lola stood silent for a moment, trying to think of a reason. "I don't know. My apologies." she nonchalantly replied.

"Does this mean that Matt has to change his name?" asked Lana.

"That's up to our parents and him." Lori answered. "Now does anyone have any questions regarding the plan?" Luan tried to raise her hand; but she was cut off my Lori. "Good! Now let's head to bed. It's late."

Everyone left the two oldest sister's room, including Leni. "Leni, this is your room. You don't have to leave."

"Oh! That's right!" Leni exclaimed before returning back.

* * *

Luna walked down the stairs to grab a cup of water before returning to bed. She turned to her right to see Matt getting undressed. "Oh! Sorry." he apologized.

"It's cool, dude." Luna reassured. "Getting ready for bed?"

"Yeah. I usually sleep in my boxers, socks, and a tank top." he explained.

"You know you could always sleep in my room, ya know. You said that you don't have any nasty desires so I trust you won't try to sneak one out while we're sleeping."

"Yeah- Okay. Didn't need to know that. I can control my sexual side well enough, thank you very much." Matt replied clearly insulted and disgusted.

"I'm just saying that you're a teenage guy. You're gonna have to get one out eventually."

"Well then I'll do it in the bathroom. Just don't expect me to come out of there anytime soon when I'm jackin' it in there."

"I'll be sure to warn the others. You sure you don't want to sleep in my room?"

"Nah, I'm fine on the couch. But uh… do you have any blankets?"

Luna smiled. "Yeah. Just let me grab them."

Luna walked out the living room as Matt laid on the couch. She soon returned with a few quilts and a pillow. "Here ya go, bro."

"Thanks, man." He yawned afterwards. "Night, Luna."

"Night, Matt." Luna prepared to head upstairs.

"Luna." Matt called out.

Luna stopped in her place. She saw Matt getting up from the couch and began walking to her. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her passionately; Luna returned the gesture.

"Thank you… really." he thanked. "Thank you so much for taking me in… I don't think anyone else would do the same… I'm forever in your debt. You ever need something, a job that needs to be done, I'm your man, alright?"

Luna chuckled. "Alright, luv." she said in her British accent. She tried to let go of the hug but Matt just squeezed her tighter, not letting go. "Matt… have you never been hugged before in your life?"

By now, a few sniffles could be heard. "No." his voice cracked.

Now Luna felt bad for him. He has never been treated nice by his other family, this made Luna mad, but at the same time… sad. "I'm sorry, Matt. If you ever need another hug, just come to me, alright?"

Matt sniffed. "Alright." his voice cracked once more as he fought back tears.

"Now go to bed. You have a big day ahead of you tomorrow."

Matt finally let go of Luna. "Yeah." was all he said before heading back to the couch. "Night Luna." He pulled the covers and laid his head on the pillow..

"Night, Matt. Sweet dreams." Luna whispered before turning off the light to the living room and proceeded to head to her own room.

For once in his life, Matt had a good night's sleep… until he opened his eyes a few minutes later; an expression of desperation painted on his face.

"Bathroom." was all he said as he ran upstairs, covering his junk area in the process.

* * *

 **(So funny thing is, FanFiction decided to take away the horizontal line for me so that's why you've been seeing -o-o-o-o-o- as page breaks instead of the horizontal line... I just found out that it was in the Doc Manager page after you SUBMIT your document. So yeah, my fault, no one else. I'm an idiot. Anyways yeah. Eat your veggies kids, clean up after yourselves, and respect your parents. They love you. I never had a good relationship with my family, which is why I cut all ties with them. But remember, they love you no matter what. Keep that in mind**

 **Well, I'm off to go for my morning jog so yeah... KOKBYE!)**


	6. Questionable Favors

**(I'm disappointed. 15 views on the last chapter. Pssh.)**

* * *

Lori left her room, yawning. Usually on a Monday morning, everyone would be getting ready for school. But since everyone had a two-week Spring Break, they were free to do whatever they wanted. They could actually sleep in. The oldest siblings looked at the clock to see it read 8:03. Smiling, she went downstairs to go drink some coffee.

As she walked down the stairs, she saw Matt, sleeping peacefully on the couch, snoring quietly. She continued her walk to the kitchen as she prepared herself a cup of nice, hot coffee. She took a sip and sighed in relief.

"Monday's can be nice when you're literally not in a rush." Lori said to herself.

 **10:38 A.M.**

By now, all of the Loud siblings were up and awake, and even in their normal clothes. They entered the living room to see that Matt was still sleeping on the couch, deep in slumber. He raised his chest as he snored, his right hand resting on his belly.

"It's 10:40 and he's still asleep." Lincoln said.

"He must really like to sleep in. He's probably dreaming of _couch surfing_. Hahahahaha!" Luan laughed at her own joke, causing everyone to groan.

"He'll wake up soon." Lori replied.

 **6:17 P.M. soon**

Everyone sat AROUND the couch, as Matt was still sound asleep, though his snores were quieter now. Everyone had tired looks on their faces, some were even annoyed.

"Remember that joke I made hours ago… I apologize for it." Luan said in exhaustion.

"How can he sleep for this long?" asked Lynn. "When did he go to bed?"

"By my estimate, between 8:30 to 12:00 midnight." Lisa replied. "I came down during midnight to grab a cup of water and he was asleep. Though he may have either been faking it. I'm not so certain."

"Point is, dude, he's been sleeping for…" Luna began counting in her head. "About 21 hours!"

"Jesus!" Lori exclaimed in astonishment.

"Maybe he's hibernating?" asked Leni.

"Leni, hibernation are for animals." Lisa corrected. As if on cue, Matt's next snore was louder than usual. "I stand corrected."

"He's sure to wake up in a little bit for sure." Lori reassured.

 **So much time later that the old author got tired of waiting, so they had to hire his roommate to replace him.**

The siblings stared in astonishment. It was Tuesday and he was STILL asleep!

"I can't believe it." Lori began questioning logic and physics, even time and space!

"A total estimate of 39 hours and 45 minutes. This is incredible." Lisa commented.

"This has got to be a world record." Lynn commented in astonishment.

"Actually Lynn, the world record for sleeping the longest is 11 consecutive days."

Lynn stared at her little sister with a little hint of insult on her face. "Oh look at me. I have glasses. I'm all smart. I'm better than all of you." she mumbled in a mocking tone.

At that moment, a miracle happened. Matt opened his eyes. He lazily blinked before sitting up on the couch and began stretching. He scratched his back before grabbing the TV remote. He turned it on and was immediately shown an adult cartoon on the the screen.

"Hey. Where's Monday's football?" asked Matt.

"Today's Tuesday." Lori corrected.

Matt stared at the siblings who were standing near the door. They all had looks of astonishment on their faces. "You're kidding, right?"

"Nope. Check your phone."

Matt grabbed his phone and checked the time: 12:17. To his amazement, it was in fact Tuesday. "Woah. Did I sleep for a whole day?"

"All 39 hours and 45 minutes." Lynn replied, stealing a line from Lisa's book.

"Jesus. I must've needed it after that house fire."

"At first I thought you were in a comatose state." Lisa absently said.

"What made you stop thinking that?"

"You kicked me in the face."

"Aw geez. I'm sorry." Matt authentically meant. "Hey, do you mind if I use your shower?"

"Go ahead. No one's uses it in the middle of the day." Lynn replied.

"Sweet. Thanks, Lana."

"I'm Lynn." she corrected.

"Oh, sorry." he apologized.

He walked up the stairs and headed into the bathroom. "Okay, so spending a whole day with him isn't gonna work out." Lori said to the group. "I think I'll start tomorrow, that way I do get a whole day with him."

"But what if he sleeps in for another day?" asked Lana.

"Then I'll literally wake him up."

* * *

Matt sat on the couch, now in his usual uniform, currently watching whatever crap was on TV. He was bored out of his mind so he honestly didn't care what he was watching.

 _Funky Kong's funky, Lanky Kong's lanky, Chunky Kong's chunky, and Cranky Kong's cranky! Ha ha!_

 _Hey! You're right! That is pretty funny, Diddy!_

 _I know!_

 _Did you tell Dixie?_

 _I did!_

 _What she say?_

 _Uh, something about driving the Feds out of Chickamauga._

 _Heh- huh?!_

 _*insert Dixie Kong wielding a musket while waving a Confederate flag*_

 _#WORSTJOKE2017_

Matt stared absentmindedly at the TV, honestly not giving a crap about what was on. At that moment, Lori, Leni, Luna, and Luan walked in front of the TV, having smiles on their faces.

Matt looked at the four adolescents in confusion, wondering why they were smiling. He looked behind the couch, expecting something to pop out.

"Is it someone's birthday or did you just win the lottery?" asked Matt, jokingly.

"Matt, how do you feel about spending an entire day with each and everyone in this family?" Lori asked. "We can take turns."

"Like, you can spend one day with Lori, then the next day with me." Leni continued.

"And the next day with me, dude." Luna added.

"And so on." Luan finished.

"Well… Okay, I guess." Matt replied.

"Great. So you'll be spending the entire day with me tomorrow. We'll literally have such a fun time. Not only will I get to know you but it'll be fun at the same time." Lori happily responded.

"Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah." Matt interjected. "If you want me to spend a day with everyone in the family one at a time, I need something done first."

The four raised their eyebrows. "Like what?" asked Leni.

"Well for starters I need a few favors from you girls." Matt started. "Think of it as a… trust exercise. If you haven't noticed, I'm still not trustworthy over 'family' since my last one weren't very nice to me. So, if you do these favors, then I'll go on with the plan. Okay?"

The four looked at each other in confusion, before nodding in agreement. "Alright." Luan replied.

"Good. Now, first favor: I need you go to the local pawn shop and sell some animal hides that I LEGALLY skinned from hunting. Pawn shop is named Volker's. The bag of hides are in the garage and don't worry, I'll call the owner and tell him that you four will be there later today. Oh, and while you're there, I need you buy some Blackout ammo for me. They're 7.62 x 35 rounds. Just tell the man that I sent you there and to put it on my tab. He and I have a little secret trust thing going. But that's not the end. There's this man, I don't know his name, who's holding a 'Hunting Strike' party. I need you to find out who he his, who is benefactors are, and beat him until he can't stand up. Then I need you to force him to sign a contract to withdraw the strike. Hunting is how I earn a living and I'll be damned if it becomes illegal. Here's the contract." Matt slid a piece of paper on the table that he grabbed from his pocket; Luan took it. "All you need is his signature, I can handle the rest."

The girls just stared in silence at Matt.

"Next up, the second thing I need you to do. You know Crash Jackson right. Well the guy's been all up in my ass ever since Freshman year. The bastard has tormented me everyday and I'm sick and tired of it. Instead of going full on Columbine, I thought it would be better for him to get a taste of his own medicine. Now, I don't know where he hangs out but one of his goonies always knows where he is. I forgot his name though. Darson, doorknob, dipshit. It doesn't matter. Here's a picture of him." Matt grabbed a photo from his pocket a slid it on the table. The picture contained an Indian-American kid with two different eye colors: blue and green. Luna took the photo and examined it. "I want you to find him and do a little interrogation to find out where Mr. Jackson is. Once you find out where Crash is, I want you to make sure that he'll stop tormenting me for the rest of our high school years. A bonus would be that he tells EVERYONE in the school to lay off my back. I don't care how you do it, just make it happen.

Now, the final cookie in the jar: My cousin Jared took something special away from me a while ago. My Dragon Lore phone case that I won in an auction. I want you to head over to his place and destroy his most prized possession as a way of payback: his Golden Trout trophy. Make sure he doesn't do something so stupid with me again, alright? Here's his address. No specific order for these favors by the way." Matt pulled out a slip of paper and slid it on the table. Lori took it and stuffed it in her pocket. "You do these favors for me, I'll go on with these 'family bondings' you have planned out, alright?"

The four looked at each other, unknowing what to do. After a moment of silence, they silently agreed. They turned to Matt, all with smiles on their faces. "Deal." Lori replied, enthusiastically. "You're family now. Family sticks together. They mess with the one of us, they mess with all of us."

Matt began chuckling. "I like you guys already." Matt chuckled some more. "Here's a camera. Take some pictures as proof and I would like records of these favors, alright? A file would be nice."

"We'll all over it, dude." Luma replied.

"It'll be _favorable_ of us to help out." Luan joked, before laughing.

Matt seemed unfazed, almost annoyed. "Don't quit your day job."

"But that is my day job." Luan quietly replied.

"We'll be back in a few hours." Lori confirmed. "Don't worry, Matt. These jerks will know to never mess you with you. You've had enough abuse in your life."

Matt chuckled some more. "That's why I like you, Lola.'

"I'm Lori."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Matt apologized.

* * *

Jack the Sparrow perched on top of a roof, sunbathing; his heavy, tired eyelids got the best of him as he fell off the roof and onto the ground. A sudden THUD and a groan of pain could be heard, indicating that while Jack was injured, he was still okay.

Vanzilla drove into a parking spot in front of a shop named Volker's, one of many of the four Loud sibling's stops. The four got out of the family vehicle and entered the pawn shop, with Luna holding the bag of animal skins. They walked in and immediately saw a man with messy brown hair cleaning a machete.

"Can I help you?" the man asked in a South African accent.

"Uh, Matt Dillon sent us here." Lori hesitantly replied.

"Ahh." the man replied in realization. "You must be the Loud girls."

"Excuse me, but we're not that loud." Leni replied, insulted.

"Dude, he's talking about our last name." Luna whispered to her older sister.

"Oh."

"He did say two blondes and two brown haired girls would come." the man continued. "Though he never said they were kids. Ahh. It doesn't matter. I owe him anyways. The name's Hoyt, owner of Volker's. If there's anything you need, just ask."

"We're here to sell some animal skins that Matt hunted." Lori replied.

"Where are they?"

"Right here dude." Luna placed the sack on the counter.

Hoyt opened it and looked inside and began examining it's contents. "Bear skins. Deer skins. Heh, even some cougar." he said in an impressive state. "Well, he is a professional when it comes to hunting. Says he might take up Big Game Hunting when he's older. A noblest professions, that is hunting." He closed the sack and looked at the girls. "So bear skin sell at $185. There's two of them so in total that's 370. There's five deer skins and one skin sells at a price of 180. That's 900 bucks. And a single cougar skin, which sells at 225. 370 plus 900 plus 225 comes out a total of…" Hoyt began clicking away on his calculator. "$1,495."

"Woah." Luna said in amazement.

"We can't afford that much!" Leni cried out.

"Leni, that's how much we're getting for selling the skins." Lori corrected.

"Oh."

"Wow. Matt sure will be _spending_ more time hunting, even if it _costs_ him his life. Hahahahaha! Get it?" Luan asked after making her puns; the siblings sighed.

"Mr. Volker, we also need a few more things before we leave." Lori hesitantly said. "We also need to buy… some… ammunition."

"I assume it's for Shark?" Hoyt asked.

"No, it's for Matt." Luna corrected.

"Shark's a nickname me and some hunters have given him for his outstanding power to take down one of the deadliest creatures there were. The Great Beast." Hoyt pointed to a poster on the wall that read:

 **WANTED**

The Great Beast

Species: Grizzly Bear

Last known location: Royal Woods Forest

Reward: $1,600

"We call him that since he's always on the move when it comes to hunting and always ends up getting the kill." Hoyt explained. "A true professional, Matt is. One of the best there is, and he's only 15. Talent at such a young age. You don't come across that everyday." The Loud siblings gave him deadpan looks. "He sure really pursue this hunting hobby he has and turn it into a career. He'll make it big." Hoyt snapped back into reality. "So, you need ammo, huh? What kind?"

"Uh, it's for his Small… Small-Pluck… Uh." Lori tried to think of the name Matt's signature weapon.

"Say that again. Say that again, kid. A what?" asked Hoyt.

"The one- The one with the 300 hundred in its name. Ambush. Darkness!"

Hoyt began chuckling before turning around, grabbing some 7.62 x 35 rounds. He placed them on the counter and began typing away on the cashier. "About three boxes of 300 Blackout ammo coming up."

"Matt said to just put it on his tab." Luna said.

"With the money he makes in hunting, I doubt he'll have a tough time paying." He slid the boxes over to the girls who placed it the plastic bag that he gave them. "Tell Shark I said hi, alright?"

"We will." Lori replied. She turned to her siblings. "Alright, next we need to find the guy who's been promoting that Hunting Strike party."

Hoyt turned his attention to the girls, obviously interested at the last statement. "I like parties. I hope they have punch." Leni innocently said.

"It's not that kind of party, sis." Luna told her.

"Oh."

"Don't worry. We'll give him some _punch_ when we find him. Hahahaha! Dark humor is funny." Luan told herself.

"You said you're looking for the guy who's been on that Hunting Strike?" asked Hoyt, catching the attentions of the Loud girls.

"Yeah, that's right." Luna responded.

"Matt sent us to find him and force him to sign a contract to withdraw the strike, so that way hunting can be still be legal." Lori explained.

Hoyt grew an enraged look. "Finally someone's doing something about him! I hate that guy! Everyone in town hates him! He's nothing but a hypocritical underachiever mama's boy!" Hoyt insulted. "People all over town are wondering how the hell he has followers! You said you're looking for him, right?" The girls nodded; Hoyt motioned them to come closer, to which they did. "His name is Peter Richards. He still lives with his mother in an apartment downtown, named Cole's Renting. Room 3G."

"Wow. Thanks, Mr. Volker." Lori thanked.

"Just call me Hoyt. A friend of Shark's is a friend of mine. If you need to buy anything, I'm your guy, yeah?" Hoyt smilled.

"Yeah." Luna nervously said. "Thanks again, Hoyt."

"You sure have a expl _Hoyt_ in pawn shops." Luan quipped, before laughing.

To her surprise, Hoyt chuckled as well. "Nice one."

"Thanks again!" Leni thanked. "Wait, before we go."

She took out the camera that Matt gave her and took a selfie with her and Hoyt, as evidence that they finished the favor.

"Did you get my good side?" Hoyt joked.

"Yep. Bye again." Leni said before leaving the store. "He was nice."

"If nice you mean a little shady, then yeah, he was nice." Luna replied in hostility.

"Oh lighten up, Luna." Luan replied, putting her arm around her older sister. "We killed three birds with one stone. We sold the skins, got ammo for Matt, and managed to find out where Mr. Richards is. We're on a roll!"

"I don't know about you guys but I'm literally having fun doing these errands for Matt." Lori said, smiling.

"Same." Leni chirped.

"Me too." Luan added.

"Eh." Luna shrugged.

"So let's head to Cole's Renting and find this Peter Richards." Lori declared.

"Hey! A bird!" Leni pointed to the ground.

Jack was shown sleeping on the ground, sucking his wing as if it was a thumb.

* * *

The four stood in front of a rundown building: Cole's Renting. They all stared at the building with blank looks, like they were trying to find at least some good features about the building. Spoiler alert:... the place was trash.

"You sure this is the place?" asked Luna.

At that moment, the R on the sign fell on top of a woman, crushing her to death. The man beside her threw his hands in the air. "WOO! I never wanted to marry her in the first place! WOO-HOO! WOO! HOO! I'M FREE! I'M A FREE MAN! I'M FREEEEEEEE!" the man shouted as he ran away in pure happiness.

"I'm sure." Lori replied as the watched the man run off.

The four entered the building and the whole place just reminded them of Matt's old home. Rundown with the wallpaper tearing off and roaches scattering all over the place.

"I don't even have to make a joke. This building IS the joke." Luan said.

At that moment, Leni burst out laughing, grabbing her stomach. "Nice one, Luan." she said.

"That wasn't a joke." Luan admitted.

"Oh."

The siblings walked over to a woman, smoking a cigarette behind a glass case, reading a magazine. "$12 if you staying the night. $30 if you're renting." she told the girls, not taking her eyes off the magazine.

"Uh, we're not here to spend the night." Lori told her. "We're just here to visit Room 3G."

"Elevator's broken. Take the stairs." the woman replied, again, not taking her eyes off the magazine.

The girls looked at each other before walking to the stairs, taking a quick look at the woman in the process. They walked up the stairs a few floors until they reach a hallway. The hallway was empty but yelling and shouting could be heard in a room beside them.

This was a sketchy neighborhood, and even sketchier apartment building. They walked down several doors; 3B, 3C, 3D, 3E, 3F.

"Here it is. 3G." Lori exclaimed.

She knocked on the door; an elderly woman opened up. "I told you! I don't want any chocolate- Oh." she stopped herself.

"Hi. Is a Peter Richards here?" asked Lori.

"Oh you must mean my son. You must be his girlfriend he's been talking about so much." the elderly woman replied.

Lori cocked an eyebrow. "Uh, actually I'm not-"

"She totally is, dude!" Luna cut her off. "And we're her siblings. We're here to uh… to…"

"To accompany your sister as she takes her Petey Wetey on a date." Luan finished as she flashed a smile.

"Oh, that's nice of you. Come in. Come in." Mrs. Richards stepped aside for the girls to be let in.

The siblings walked in as Mrs. Richards closed the door. "So, where's my Petey Wetey at?" asked Lori, nervously as she almost choked at the ridiculous nickname.

"He's in his room. Over there." she pointed to the back of the apartment, where a door was closed.

The four adolescents walked over to the door; Lori knocked on it and soon a man in his mid 20's, wearing glasses, opened it. He grew a confused look. "Who are you?" he asked.

"You and I need to have a chat, Petey Wetey." she viciously replied as she and her sisters marched into his room.

Luan closed the door as Luna locked it. "Wh-Wh-Who are you?" he nervously asked.

Lori punched him in the stomach, causing him to groan in pain. Afterwards, she kneed him in the face as he fell on his butt. Luna grabbed him by the collar and punched him. "What are you doing?!" he asked.

"That Hunting Strike you're on about. You need to stop." Lori scolded.

"Like hell!" Peter spat out. "We need to save the animals!"

"Animals die. Bears, cougars, mountain lions. It's part of the circle of life, dude." Luna replied.

"Deers don't need another predator to worry about!"

"Have you ever thought that you're possibly ruining lives if you get rid of hunting?" asked Luan. "There are some people who would _kill_ to get a job as a hunter." Luan chuckled to herself.

"Like our friend, Manuel." Leni added.

"It's Matt, dude." Luna corrected.

"Oh yeah, that's right."

"Who do you work for?" asked Lori.

"As if I'm gonna tell to a dirty blonde!" Peter shouted as if it was venom.

The other three sisters grew scared looks as they stepped back. Lori had a face of pure rage. "What did you just say?"

Realizing that he said something wrong, Peter began crawling backwards. This was short lived however when he backed into a wall. "I-I-I didn't m-mean it, m-m-ma'am." he stuttered in complete fear. "Honest!"

Lori grabbed him by the collar and opened up his window. She dragged him over the edge and pushed him ever so slightly to the point where he could fall off if she let go. "Tell us who you're working for or I will literally drop you and make you into a human pancake!"

"But I don't like pancakes!" Peter replied in a terrified tone.

"Then spill!"

"Jeol Dempsey! Joel Dempsey!" he cried out. "He's the owner of DempsCorp! An environment friendly company! It's main purpose is to ban all hunting in all of America! Just don't hurt me!"

 **(Okay, quick note: I ran out of ideas to name the company so I basically just said, "Fuck it." and I grabbed a name out of my ass and here we are.)**

"We're not done yet." Lori told him. "Luna."

"What?" asked Luna.

"Give me the contract." she instructed.

"I don't have it. Luan does."

"Hi." she smiled as she held up the contract.

"Huh. Could've sworn you took the contract." she said.

"No, I took the picture of the Indian kid and the animal skins. Luan has the contract and you have address of Matt's cousin's house." Luna explained.

"Animal skins? Address? Contract? Who are you guys?! Bounty hunters?!" Joel asked in fear.

Lori glared at the man. "We're just doing a few favors for a friend of ours." she turned to her younger sister. "Luan! Contract." A paper plane hit her on her cheek; she remained unfazed.

She held the contract in front of Joel's face. "Sign it and we're done here."

"But I need a pen." Joel replied. Lori smacked him face with a pen. "Ow. Thanks." He grabbed the contract and signed it and quickly gave it to Lori. "Here! Just don't hurt me, anymore."

Leni took a picture of him and the contract, as confirmation that they finished the favor.

"Thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Richards. We'll be leaving." Lori told him.

"Hello? Can I come in?" asked Mrs. Richards behind the door.

"Sure." Leni replied as she unlocked the door and let Mrs. Richards in.

Thinking quickly, Lori said the following, "We're through, Pete! I'm breaking up with you! Don't ever call me again!"

With that, she faked storming off as her sisters confusingly walked away as well. Mrs. Richards stared at her son who had a confused, yet terrified look on his face. "What happened?" she asked.

"I think someone broke up with me?" Peter replied questionably.

Jack the Sparrow landed on the roof of Cole's Renting; he lifted his butt and grew a painful look. Down below the four left the building, all having triumphant expressions on their faces; bird poop came falling down and landed next to Leni, though she didn't notice. "Two down, two to go." Lori told the group.

"Easy as pie." Leni said.

"Man, I wish I had a pie with me right now so I could make it into a joke." Luan said in a disappointed tone.

"I'm glad you don't, dude." Luna replied.

"What's next on the list?" asked Leni.

"We have to find Crash's lackey and find out where exactly Jackson is." Lori replied as she held a picture of the Indian-American kid, smiling in the photo.

* * *

Lori held the photo in front of her, before putting it down. "Darpak Patel." Lori said. "Good thing you left your yearbook underneath the seat, Luna. Or else we would've had to make a stop back at our house."

"Does it say where he likes to hang out?" asked Leni.

"Leni," Luna began. "it's a yearbook. It's not gonna tell us his exact location." She flipped through the page and grew a surprised look. "Nevermind. It does."

"What does it say?" asked Lori.

"WOAH!" Luan cried out.

"What?!" the others asked in concern.

"Tristan holds the record for the longest piss at 10 minutes!" Luan said in astonishment.

"While I am disgusted by that fact, that is impressive. It's literally a new world record." Lori said. "What does Darpak have to say?"

"Says here he likes to hang out at the Royal Woods basketball courts." Luna read.

"Well let's head to the basketball courts." Lori declared. She stepped on the gas pedal and Vanzilla moved… legitimately 10 feet forwards. "Okay. We're here."

"What took so long?!" asked Luna in anger.

The four left Vanzilla and immediately noticed a person. It was DARPAK!... Nah, I'm kidding, it was Lynn. "Oh I forgot Lynn comes here."

The four entered the basketball courts and were immediately noticed by Lynn. "Hey, guys." she greeted. "What're you doing here?"

"We're doing favors for Matt." Leni happily replied.

"What kind of favors?" asked Lynn.

"You're better off not knowing." Lori replied. A moment of silence filled the air. "Aw screw it. We had to sell some animal skins then we forced a man to sign a contract to withdraw from the Hunting Strike he was promoting. Now we're here to find a kid name Darpak Patel. He's friends with Matt's bully: Crash Jackson. So we're here to interrogate him to find out where his friend is."

"So he's making you do dirty work?" asked Lynn.

"It's not illegal, so we're up to it. Besides, Matt's family and this is a trust exercise. We do these favors for him, he hangs out with us."

"Seems reasonable." Lynn replied.

"It is. Now have you seen this kid anywhere?" Lori held a photo of Darpak. Lynn squinted her eyes as she caressed her chin. "Yeah, I've seen him."

"Where is he?" asked Luna.

"Behind you."

The four turned around to see Darpak shooting hoops. "Hey! Darpak!" Luan called out. Darpak turned his attention at the four, looking at them with his multi-colored eyes.

The five siblings walked over to him. "We need to talk." Lori said.

"About what? Dolls?" asked Darpak in a mocking tone.

"No, that's on Tuesdays." Leni replied absentmindedly.

"But today is Tuesday." Darpak replied.

"Oh." Leni said.

 **(Leni "Oh" counter: 6)**

"Where's Crash?" asked Luna.

"Why do you wanna know?" asked Darpak.

"We need to know where Crash is so we can teach him a lesson about bullying Matt." Leni replied.

"Leni!" Lori, Luna, and Luan shouted in union.

"Oh ho ho ho. That's why you wanna know." Darpak replied. "Well too bad. I ain't tellin'."

"How about a 1v1 then?" asked Lynn. "If I win, then you tell them where Crash is."

"And if I win?"

"You won't get your legs broken."

"Deal!"

 **DARPAK vs. LYNN!**

"We don't have time for this!" Lori shouted. She grabbed him by the collar. "Just tell us where Crash is!"

"Or what're you gonna do? Bore me to death about dresses?" mocked Darpak.

* * *

"ALRIGHT! I'LL TALK! I'LL TAAAAAAAAAAAAALK!" Darpak screamed at the top of his lungs.

Luan held him over the crocodile exhibit at the Royal Woods Zoo. "Where's Crash? Or you'll be doing some _crashing_ yourself. Hahahahaha! Get it?" Luan asked. Darpak whimpered. " **Get it?!** " she asked in a more threatening tone.

"He's at the Tattoo Parlor! Jay's! It's at the corner of Spooner and Elm Street! That's all I know! I swear!" Darpak cried.

"Good boy." Luna said as Luan lowered him over the rail.

Darpak panted as he ran away from the girls.

"Now that we know he's there, let's pay him a visit." Lori said. Leni opened her mouth. "Not that kind of pay, Leni."

"I was gonna say can we get tattoos?" asked Leni. "I've been wanting to get a butterfly tattoo on my ankle."

"You'll have to ask mom and dad first, dude." Luna replied. "Now let's go!"

* * *

Vanzilla parked in front of Jay's, the tattoo parlor; the four siblings walked in to see Crash checking out tattoos on a rack, while the artist was behind the counter. "You guys go talk to Crash, I'll handle the artist." Lori told her sisters.

Lori walked over to the artist, who was cleaning a needle. He looked up to see Lori, giving a seductive smile. "Heeeey." she said seductively.

The artist blinked; a deadpan and uninterested look was on his face. "Yeah?" he asked.

"Can I ask such a handsome gentleman a little question?"

"What is it?"

"Do you take custom tattoos?" she asked, her seductive smile disappearing.

A smile appeared on the artist's face. "Why yes. We do. You have a picture of what you want me to ink on you?"

Lori checked her surroundings. "You think we can talk about this in privacy. It's embarrassing."

"We can talk in the back, if that's okay."

"That's fine with me."

The two entered the backroom to discuss matters. Meanwhile, Leni, Luna, and Luan walked over to Crash, who was examining a fist tattoo. "Hey, Crash." Luna said. Crash turned around to see the three young girls standing behind him, arms crossed and ticked off looks. A smile appeared on his face. "Hey, ladies. What can the Crash do for you?"

"Back off from Matt." Luna aggressively replied.

"Matt?" he questioned. "Matt Dillon? That loser? Ha! Why? He's a nobody! Why do you want me off his back?... Ooooh. I get it. You want him for yourself. I get it. Well too bad. He's my prey, so get your own."

"Well, we asked nicely." Luan shrugged.

"But Luna said it in a mean way." Leni replied.

Luan face palmed. Luna then grabbed a piercing gun and forcibly pierced Crash's nose. He yelped in pain as she then pierced his ear. He grabbed his ear as he cried in pain once more. Finally, she pierced his eyebrow, causing him to hold it, hissing in pain.

"Ow! What was that for?!" he asked.

"Just a little something." Luna replied. "You seem to interested in tats, bruh. How bout you let Lunes give you one."

"Wha?" he asked before Luan and Leni forced him to the chair. Afterwards, Lune ripped off his shirt, his bare chest exposed. She grabbed a tattoo needle and began tattooing his chest. "Hey! What are you doing?!"

"Give you a tat, brah." she replied.

Shortly afterwards, the words: I'M A MORON were tattooed all over his chest. She grabbed his head and got in real close to his forehead. She began tattooing it as well while Crash struggled to get freed, but Leni and Luan were making sure he wouldn't go anywhere. Finally, after a few moments, she was finished tattooing his forehead. Turns out that she tattooed a penis on his forehead.

"Did you just draw a dick on my forehead?" he asked.

"That's some spiky hair, Crash. Would be a shame if something bad happened to it." Luna said in a devious way.

"What are you- AAAAHH!" he screamed as Leni grabbed a buzzer and shaved off some of his hair.

She shaved a long stripe from the end of his hair to the front of his hair, creating a line of bare skin surrounded by black hair. "Whoops. Something went wrong." Leni sarcastically replied.

Crash looked in a mirror and saw the atrocity. "Look at what you did to me!" he shouted, tears forming in his eyes.

"Stay away from Matt Dillon and make sure to tell everyone else to back off him, otherwise we'll make you unrecognizable. Got it?" threatened Luna. Crash shook his head as he began crying on the floor. "Let's go."

"Say cheese!" Leni said before taking a picture of him.

"Don't be a _dick_ anymore, Crash. Hahahahahaha!" Luan laughed at her own joke as she pointed to the tattooed penis on his forehead.

"Hey, Lori! We're leaving." Luna called out.

Lori came walking out along with the ink slinger. "So come by Friday and I'll have that on your back in no time, alright?"

"Alright." she replied. "My Boo-Boo Bear will just love it." she said in a dreamy state as she left the parlor.

The ink slinger turned to his left to see Crash crying on the floor. He stared at him in confusion before gaining a deadpan and uninterested look as before. "What a baby." he said.

At that moment, the door opened, the bell tinging. The ink slinger turned his head to see Jack, sitting on the counter. "Hey, little guy. What's up? Catch any worms lately?" asked the ink slinger in a kind tone.

Jack turned behind him and pulled out a sheet of paper; the ink slinger took it. The picture itself was a picture of a female sparrow, with the words Jennifer written in cursive. The ink slinger turned his attention back to Jack, who was pointing at his torso. "You sure you want to, little dude?" Jack nodded his head, the ink slinger smiled. "Well lets head in the back to pick out some colors."

With that, the ink slinger and Jack went into the back, while Crash was still on the ground, crying.

Outside, the girls got back in Vanzilla, completing the second favor. "Nice job, girls. The biggest bully of the school is finally off Matt's back." Lori told her sisters.

"Still can't believe that Luna drew a penis on his forehead. For a second I thought she was gonna be _dicking_ around. Hahahaha!" Luna laughed.

"That's gross, dude."

"What? It's human anatomy. I like dicks-"

"Please stop talking, Luan."

"Like, what's next, Lori?" asked Leni.

"We need to head over to Matt's cousin's house, Jared, and destroy his Golden Trout trophy." Lori explained. She took out the slip of paper that she put in her pocket. "Let's destroy a trophy."

"You ever feel like we're becoming bad girls?" asked Luna.

"What's wrong with being a little bad, Luna?" asked Lori. "Sometimes you need to break a few rules to feel alive. Brings on the adrenaline."

"I can be a very naughty girl when I want to." Luan said, smiling.

"I told you to stop talking, Luan." Luna responded

"My favorite punishment is getting a spanking from daddy." Luan seductively said back.

"You still get spankings from dad?" Leni asked; Luan grew a deadpan looked.

"Seeing how I have no idea how to respond to that, **(Honestly the same thing I said in real life.)** I'm just gonna drive to the address and get the third favor over with." She put the car in drive and drove off.

* * *

The siblings stood in front of a door of a single story house. "34262 Michael Drive. This is the place." Lori said.

She knocked on the door and soon a teenager who looked to be 17 opened the door. "Yeah?" he asked.

"Is your name, Jared?" asked Luan.

"That's me, don't wear it out baby." Jared replied.

"Yeah, we heard that you took some stupid phone case of our friend Matt had." Lori said.

"Oh that dumb Dragon Lore thing. Got rid of it a long time ago. Tell him I said sorry." Jared replied in a unsympathetic tone.

"I hope you like footlongs, because I will literally shove one up your-"

"Woah! Lori! You're not allowed to swear!" Leni covered her older sister's mouth. "Only Matt is."

"She's right. Besides, we're only here to destroy his Golden Trout trophy." Luna said.

"Destroy it?!" Jared exclaimed in surprise.

"Dang it."

"Oh no! You are NOT destroying my Golden Trout trophy that is on the top shelf over there!" Jared then pointed to said trophy on said shelf. "Dang it." he said after realizing what he said.

"Grab it!" Lori ordered.

Luna pushed Jared away as Luan ran over to the trophy. She grabbed it and raised it in the air and with all her strength threw it to the ground, smashing it into pieces.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Jared cried out.

Luan looked down and noticed something in the smashed material. She picked it up, revealing it to be Matt's Dragon Lore phone case. "Hey! He lied! He still has the phone case!" Luan called out.

"Wow. A thief and a liar. No girl would ever go out with a guy like you." Lori told him.

A single tear rolled down his cheek. Leni walked over to the smashed trophy and took a picture. "Wow. This one was easier than the rest."

"I think we deserve our own trophy because of it." Luan joked.

"Alright, let's get out of here. This scum is giving me the creeps." Lori said before walking out the door, followed by the others.

Jared just sniffed. "My only accomplishment in my life… shattered…" he quietly said.

The siblings got in Vanzilla as Lori turned on the car. "Today's been a long day. Let's go home." Lori told her sisters.

"Matt sure knows how to give jobs." Luan said.

"Like he's some sort of boss or something. He could give you a run for your money, Lori." Luna told her older sister.

"Well did you see how much those skins sold for. He's bound to have a lot of money." Leni said.

"That was a metaphor, Leni." Luna told her.

"I don't know what that is."

* * *

The four walked inside their house, all having tired looks on their faces. They saw Lincoln coming out of the dining room. "Oh, hey girls." he greeted.

"Hey Lincoln." Lori said back. "You know where Matt is?"

Lincoln stuck his head in the dining room. "Matt. Lori, Leni, Luna, and Luan are here to see you." he said.

"Send them in." Matt could be heard behind the wall.

Lincoln turned to his sisters. "He's ready to see you." With that, he walked over to the couch to watch some TV.

The four entered the dining room to see Matt sitting at the table, drawing in his notebook. "Aah! There you girls are. How was your day?" asked Matt.

"Busy." Leni replied.

"Come sit down, you look tired." Matt offered. The four sat down in front of him. "Where's the list of info and your photos?"

"Here." Lori handed him a file that she created, along with the box of ammo that they bought. "Hoyt says hi by the way."

Matt took it and opened it; inside were the photos that Leni took and several useful information about the Hunting Strike he hated. He skimmed through the notes and looked at the photos while the sisters waited for a response. A smile was then plastered onto his face.

"Hm!... Hmm. That's great work, guys." he told them as they smiled. He reached out and grabbed a string cheese stick. "Here. Have some string cheese sticks. You must be hungry."

"No thank you. We're good." Lori replied.

"Aww. You're concerned about diabetes." Matt began chuckling as he put the cheese stick away. "That's goose shit. Diabetes won't be what kills you."

"We got some bonuses as well." Luan told him.

She pulled out his Dragon Lore phone case and slid it over to him. He grew wide eyes, clearly surprised to see the long lost phone case that he once had. "And we made sure Crash to tell everyone to lay off you." Luna told him.

Matt smiled at the four. "Thank you. Really. Thank you. You've done some great work." Matt told them.

"Oh, I almost forgot." Lori took out the skin sack that once contained the animal hides and dumped a bunch of money on the table. "The money for when we sold those animal skins to Hoyt. We figured it's your hides, it's your money. $1,495."

"Hmm. That's impressive." he told her. He grabbed the money and began counting it. "Here." he slid $50 to each of them. "Consider this payment for a job well done and for helping me with these favors."

"Are you serious? We can keep them?" asked Leni.

"Serious as I can be." Matt replied back. "You guys did some hard work, so there's some hard working money."

"Wow… Thank you, Matt." thanked Luan.

"No. Thank you for making my life a little less terrible. Now head off to bed. You look like you're about to pass out any minute now. Especially you, Lori. We have a long day tomorrow you and I. You with the whole family bonding thing."

"Yeah. You're right." Lori said.

The four walked away to head off to their rooms. "Good night, Matt." Luan called out.

"Night, Lucy."

"I'm Luan." she corrected him.

"Sorry!" he replied in a smart mouth tone. He looked at the file and stared at the photo of Crash; a smile appearing on his face. "That's an impressive dick… Wait a minute." he said to himself.

Outside, a female sparrow was building her nest, when at that moment Jack flew and perched himself on the nest. He lifted his chest up, presenting the tattoo he got for her. Jennifer pointed her head away, clearly not interested. Jack grew a confused look as Jennifer pointed behind him. Jack turned around to see the very same falcon, glaring at him.

Jack grew a very terrified look as he turned his head to the tree to see the words "Jennifer + Jason" engraved on the trunk. He grew a sad look as he turned to his ex, who gave him a snobby look. Behind him, Jason, the falcon, blew hot air behind him, clearly not pleased. Jack grew a nervous smile as Jason attacked. Jack flew away, with Jason on hot pursuit.


	7. Family Bondings: Lori

**(Quick shoutout to** **sthompson1 for the idea to this chapter… you owe me milk.**

 **Also, I apologized this took so long. If I'm being honest… I got lazy and lost motivation but I pulled myself through and kept telling myself, "You can do this." and I did. Though I'm not proud on this chapter, it's lazy and poorly written, but it's out of the way. That's all that matters. I did the best I could do. Anyways, I hope you at least fake enjoying this chapter because of how shitty it is. KOKBYE!**

 **Warning: I wrote this drunk.)**

* * *

Jack sniffed as he sat alone in a messy nest that he just made for the night. A sad expression painted on his face.

Inside the Loud house, Matt slowly opened his eyes as the morning sun rinsed his eyelids. He sat up and began stretching, yawning in the process. He got up, revealing his nighttime uniform which pretty much the same as in the first chapter: white tank top, black shorts, and black socks. He got up as he began smacking his lips.

He headed up the stairs but stopped when he saw a line to the restroom. Of course there was a line, there's always a line.

Lola, being the last on in line, turned around to see Matt staring at her. "Good morning, Matt." Lola greeted in a happy tone.

Everyone, aside from Lincoln who ACTUALLY got to use the bathroom first, turned around to see Matt at the top of the stairs. "Hey, bro. Have a good night sleep?"

"Uh, ya know, I'll just pee outside." he told them as he headed back downstairs.

The sisters looked at each other in confusion. "When you gotta go you gotta go." Lana told them.

* * *

Matt came back inside after doing his business in the backyard. He began rubbing his crotch as a painful expression took over his face. "It burns like a motha when I piss. Shoulda used a rubba." he told himself.

He walked into the kitchen where he turned on the faucet. He placed his hands underneath the cold water and splashed his face with it. He turned it off as he walked over to the cabinets. He grabbed a pan and a cup and placed them on the counter.

He opened the fridge where he grabbed some eggs; he closed the door. He opened a drawer and grabbed a fork. He was now prepared to make breakfast.

A little later, Matt sat at the dining room table, eating his breakfast which consisted of scrambled eggs, a burnt piece toast, and orange juice.

He chewed his eggs as he read the newspaper that he was currently reading. Top of the news was a headline that read:

 **DempsCorp CEO Silences**

Joel Dempsey shuts down DempsCorp!

Matt smiled, knowing his Hunting Strike troubles were over. He looked at the next article:

 **House Burns in Suburbs**

1638 Trevor Boulevard mysteriously burns down. Arson suspected?

Matt turned the page where another article was shown:

 **New Housing Opens in Petoskey**

This article didn't concern Matt, as he merely went to read another article, after taking a bite from his eggs. At that moment, something moved at the corner of his eyes. He looked up to see the Loud family smiling. He awkwardly looked at them all as he slowly stopped chewing.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing." Lucy replied.

"So you ready to start some bonding or are you just going to be lazy all day?" asked Lori.

Matt swallowed his eggs. "Lori, I just woke up 20 minutes ago. I'm not in the mood." he tiredly replied.

Lori rolled her eyes. "Not now, I mean later."

"Oh, yeah, sure." he replied. He took another bite from his eggs before growing a deadpan look. "This needs something." he told the group.

He got up and walked into the kitchen and shortly came out with a bottle of hot sauce in his hands. He poured some of the sauce onto his eggs. He took a bite out of them and soon an entranced look took over his face.

"Now that's better." he said to himself. "Everything tastes like crap without hot sauce."

"The bathrooms yours, dude." Luna told him as she and the rest of the family went inside the kitchen to cook their own food.

"Alrighty then." he told her before taking another bite from his eggs.

* * *

LATER…

Matt, now in his usual attire, sat on the chair in the living, vaping out of a black mod. He inhaled some of the nicotine before blowing some of the smoke out. At that moment, Lori came walking out of the dining room.

"Hey, Matt." she greeted. "Ready?"

"For what?" asked Matt, his voice deepened from the vaping.

Lori rolled her eyes again. "For our bonding."

"Oh! Yeah. Uh… What're we gonna do?" asked Matt.

"Well I'm gonna introduce you to my Boo-Boo Bear." Lori said as she grew a dreamy look.

"Huh?" asked Matt, clearly confused.

"My boyfriend. You two will get along so well. He said he's in the city for today and agreed to meet you. Let's go! I literally cannot wait for you to meet him!"

She grabbed his arm and dragged him out the door, as he yelled.

* * *

Jack slouched against a wall, a depressed expression on his face. There were at least a few empty beer bottles as he stuck his head in the fourth one and consumed the last of the alcohol. He was not in a very good mood and felt like nothing mattered in life anymore.

He decided to fly away but because he was drunk, he couldn't fly straight. He managed to almost evade Vanzilla, which parked in a spot in the Royal Wood's Mall parking lot.

Lori and Matt exited Vanzilla and began walking towards the mall entrance. Soon, they entered the mall and Lori immediately saw her boyfriend, standing by the fountain.

"There he is! My Boo-Boo Bear!" she said dreamly.

Matt looked at the general direction she was looking at and immediately saw Bobby. He grew an angry look on his face. "Him?!" he asked.

The two walked over to Bobby, who was still standing by the fountain. "Hey, Boo-Boo Bear." Lori greeted.

"Hey, babe. I missed you!" he said back as the two hugged. Bobby opened his eyes to see Matt glaring at him. The Hispanic glared back at him as well. "Wait! Hold on!" he stopped the hug. "You mean to tell me that the kid that you guys are letting him live with you is… him?!"

"Huh?" asked Lori as she turned to Matt.

"Hey, Santiago." Matt spat out as if it was venom.

"Hey, Dillon." Bobby said back with equal venom.

"Wait, you two know each other?" asked Lori.

"You could say that." Bobby replied.

"This dude was one of the people who tormented me!" Matt claimed.

"What?!" Lori said in shock. "Boo-Boo Bear? Why'd you do that?" asked Lori.

"Because he's a selfish, narcissistic, penny pinching jerk! That's why!" Bobby shouted at Matt.

"Says the guy who smacked me with my lunch tray! You know how long it took for that mustard to get out of my hair?!" Matt shouted back.

"You deserved it, jerk!"

"Hey! Bobbyboy! You think you're tough, huh?" Matt mocked as he began poking at Bobby.

"Yeah, I'm tough. Tougher than you!"

"You scared of a real fight? Let's see what you can do!" Matt shouted as he got real close to him.

Bobby shoved Matt away from him. "Buzz off!"

"Guys! Stop fighting! You're literally embarrassing yourselves!" Lori scolded the two teens. The two of them glared at each other before crossing their arms, facing away from each other. Lori sighed. "Listen, I came here to bond with Matt, and you're only here for a day. Can you two please just try to not literally rip each other's heads off during the hangout?"

"No promises." Bobby harshly responded.

"I have a tendency to rip heads off and eat the flesh from their skulls." Matt venomly spat out. "Especially from snakes like Santiago."

"Says the selfish jerk, Dillon."

Lori sighed as she face palmed. "This is literally gonna be a long day."

* * *

The three were in the Women's Department Store in the mall, where Bobby stood outside while Lori and Matt went shopping inside. Yes, that's right. Matt went inside a women's store for women's product.

Lori was currently looking at perfume, having a mental debate on which one she should get.

"Cherry Rose… or Blossom's Heart… Cherry Rose… Blossom's Heart… Hmm." she bickered with herself.

"Hey Lori, I need your opinion." Matt came walking up to her.

"What is it?" she asked.

Matt held up two nail polish bottles. "Black Diamond or Rose Red?... Or maybe Pearl Turquoise, ya know, to match a ring I have back at the house."

"I never thought I would meet a guy like you who's into women products." Lori told him.

"Well between you and me…" Matt leaned closer to Lori. "I feel more like a girl than a guy." he whispered. "By the way, you should get Cherry Rose. It'll make your hair smell better. Plus it has those flakes in it to really smooth out your hair. I use it all the time."

"Really? Huh… Thanks, Matt." she thanked him. "You should literally get Rose Red. You already have a lot of red on you. Which reminds me, why do you have red armbands and red wristbands."

"It's a pirate thing." he simply replied.

"Huh?" she asked.

 **(To any of you who didn't get the reference… just search of Far Cry 3 Pirate and you'll know what I mean.)**

"You know what. Screw it! I'm buying all three!" Matt claimed as he ran over to the cash register.

"Babe?" Lori looked at the entrance to see Bobby looking at her, a desperate expression on his face. "Can we leave soon? People are thinking I'm loitering and a bit of a pervert for just standing out here."

"One sec, Boo-Boo Bear. Let me pay for these items." Lori told him.

Bobby leaned on the wall, a very uncomfortable look on his face. Shortly afterwards, his girlfriend and Matt came walking out, holding bags.

"Sorry about that, Boo-Boo Bear." Lori apologized.

"Boo-Boo Bear." Matt said in a mocking tone.

"You got a problem?" asked Bobby, clearly angered.

"Why the hell hasn't the President done anything about the military crisis?" Matt sarcastically replied.

"If Lori wasn't standing here and if we weren't in public, I would knock you to the ground so hard so fast."

"Try me, Bobbyboy!" Matt growled.

"Guys. Quit fighting." Lori told them as she pushed them away from each other. "We're here to bond with Matt, not make enemies with him."

"Too late." the two said at the same time.

Lori grew a deadpanned look. At that moment, a certain store caught her attention. "Hey! Guys! Look! The arcade! Boo-Boo Bear, you like the arcade right?"

"Yeah I like it." Bobby replied.

"And I bet you like those video games, right Matt?"

"I'd rather stick my dick in an anthill than go to the same store as these dillweed." Matt replied in a venomous tone.

Lori grabbed him by the collar and brought her close to her face; a very irritated look was on her face. "You're going in there and you're going to play some video games whether you like to or not! Got it?!"

"Yes boss. You're the boss." Matt fearfully replied, his voice shaking.

Lori let go of Matt as the three headed to the arcade, with Matt splitting up from the two to head to his own personal games, but mostly to get away from Bobby as far as possible.

Bobby head to the air hockey table while Matt headed over to a shooting game.

"Hey, Babe. Air hockey?" asked Bobby.

Lori looked at the table and shrugged. "Sure. Why not."

With that said, the two began playing air hockey. Meanwhile, over at the other side of the arcade, Matt just placed a few coins in the slot, ready to play some "Lost Civilization: Destruction". A shooting game about robots taking over a post-apocalyptic world where they fight the humans trying to retake the Earth. Along the way, they also have to fight through zombies as well.

Matt grabbed the toy gun and pressed play. Soon, he began shooting his way into the game, destroying robots and killing zombies.

* * *

About an hour later, Matt was still playing the game. In fact, he was almost done with it. He was on the final boss, a zombie robot king with a photon cannon for an arm. Matt kept shooting at the robot until it blew up and fell to the ground.

"New high score!" the voice on the game announced.

"Hell yeah!" Matt exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air.

"Enter your name!"

The board was already filled, but Matt took the number 1 spot:

HIGH SCORE

ManWithThePlan… 16000 pts

ChiefWiggums… 15500 pts

JohnontheRadio… 14300 pts

b!tch… 12900 pts

MTHellhound… 12899 pts

someguy… 11750 pts

qqqqqqqq… 10000 pts

PussyDestroyer15… 7900 pts

cUnt… 8800 pts

daddy… 6340 pts

Matt smirked. Beating all these people was far too easy. He entered his name:

smokesomeinmyass… 20000 pts

He grinned as his gaming name was now top of the leaderboard. He checked to see that an hour passed. He got out of the arcade gaming machine and was now facing Lori and Bobby. His happy smile soon turned into an annoyed look.

"Oh yeah, I forgot. This dillweed is here." Matt said to himself.

"Watch it, Dillon." Bobby growled.

"Make me, Bobbyboy!"

The two were now at each other's throats again, causing Lori to split them up once more. "Can you guys get along for literally a few minutes, please?"

"Well ya know, it's hard when I have to deal with Dad #2 over here." Matt insulted; Bobby growled at him.

"Let's just head to the jewelry store. I literally need to buy a new necklace anyway." Lori told them.

* * *

This time Bobby went inside the jewelry store, which was named Precious Things, to help Lori pick out the best necklace for her to buy. Matt, meanwhile, was over at the rings section. He was scanning the display case and saw many expensive rings, but he could easily pay for them.

"See something you like?" asked the manager as he approached Matt.

"Yeah, I was wondering if this ring," he pointed to a ring with a black pearl, "came in any size 9½."

"Why yes, it does." the manager replied. "You interested in it?"

"In fact, I am. I've been eyeing this ring for months now." Matt responded.

"Hmm… Well step aside and we shall discuss the ring." The two headed over by the counter to discuss about the ring.

Meanwhile, Bobby waited patiently for Lori pick out her own necklace. "How about this, Bobby? Does this look great on me?" Lori asked.

"Anything looks great on you, Babe." Bobby replied.

"Aww. Boo-Boo Bear. You say the sweetest things." Lori dreamly said.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Yes! I will marry you! A thousand times yes!" Lori excitingly shouted.

"Erm. No. That's not what I wanted to ask." Bobby said.

Lori blushed as she just publicly embarrassed herself. "Heh heh. Heh… Heh." she nervously chuckled. "What is it that you wanted to ask?" she sheepishly smiled.

Bobby turned to Matt, whom was at the counter, currently discussing his rings. He turned back to Lori, having a serious expression on his face. "Why are you friends with that jerk?" he pointed his thumb backwards to Matt.

"Because he needed help." Lori seriously replied. "He literally had a horrible life. His own family dumped him on the side of a road and had nowhere to go. Plus, you've seen what his life was like before you left. It was miserable! The whole school was literally against him. We offered our help and he took it, and now he's apart of the family."

"Wait! Woah. Woah. Woah. Woah. Woah. Woah. Woah. Hold on." Bobby rapidly said. "He's a Loud now?"

"Well, technically he is." Lori said. "He's staying with us until he graduates and can afford his own place. Mom and Dad don't mind. Plus, it's like having a second brother. This can literally be good for us, especially Lincoln. Poor kid is overpowered by me and my sisters and sometimes, and I hate to say this… sometimes we are mean to him. He has openly mentioned that if he could have a brother. He didn't care if Mom gave birth to him or if they adopted one. He just wanted a brother to hang out with. Though he hasn't mentioned it ever since he destroyed my watch on accident. Literally of weird if you ask me. But just because his last name isn't 'Loud' doesn't mean he's not apart of the family. My siblings treat him as if he _was_ a sibling and he greatly appreciates us. He told Luna how grateful he was that he found a family to take him in. Turns out he has never been hugged before in his life. Poor kid."

Bobby took in her words and began thinking on his own. He looked back to see Matt pointing to the display case, obviously interested in one of the jewelry. He turned back to Lori, having an ussure look on his face. He was very doubtful of Matt.

"Well… he can be a real jerk sometimes. Just watch out for him, okay?" he told her.

Lori sighed, not wanting to fight. "Alright, Boo-Boo Bear." she replied.

"Hey Lori!" Matt called out as he walked up to them. "And dillweed." Bobby growled. "Guess what I got." He held out his hand to reveal the black pearl ring on his ring finger. "This little beaut here! I replaced that simple stainless steel one for this! The Black Pearl! Named after that Pirate's movie! It's so magnificent! One of the best purchases I bought from this store!"

"Wait, you've been here before?" asked Lori.

"Duh." he sarcastically replied. "Where do you think I got all those rings from?"

"I assumed you stole them."

"Oh! Just because I'm white means I'm an automatic thief, huh? Just because I came from an abusive, broken family means I've a very mean person? Hm? That's stereotypical profiling right there, young lady!" Matt scolded as he pointed at her, an angry look on his face.

"Matt, I'm white." Lori deadpanned replied.

Matt continued to point at her while still retaining his angry look. "You make a valid point, ma'am. Pleasure debating with you."

"Matt, can't you be stupid some other time?"

"But it's 2:00." Matt replied.

Lori face palmed. "Anyways, let me purchase this necklace and we'll be on our way. You two try not to break each other's fingers."

Matt and Bobby glared at each other, with both of them growling.

* * *

The trio walked through the mall, all with different expressions: Lori had a simple smile on her face, Bobby had an angry look, while Matt had a very tired look.

"Too damn, hot. Someone just fuckin' shoot me." he complained.

"Hey Lori." Bobby said. "You think we can get something to eat?"

"Sure." Lori happily replied. "There's this froyo place around the corner. We can head there."

"What the hell's froyo?" Matt asked.

The three entered the frozen yogurt shop where the three got their own orders: Bobby had a chocolate and peanut butter yogurt with chocolate chips and gummy bears on top, Lori had a strawberry yogurt with strawberries on top, and Matt... just had a glass of water.

During the time the trio were eating, Matt and Bobby kept glaring at each other; angrily eating or drinking. Lori sighed, having enough of their nonsense.

"I'm heading going to the restroom. Try not to cause a scene." she told them.

The two didn't even respond and kept glaring daggers at each other.

Bobby, being the mature, yet childlike, 17 year old, sighed. He had to admit… he was getting tired of fighting with Matt. He wasn't one to fight, especially in front of her girlfriend. He always saw the good of people, always trying to find a light in any dark area in a person's life. However, his anger towards Matt blocked this, and Bobby, for once, felt ashamed in himself.

He had to make amends to him, one way or another. He was raised better than that. He shouldn't fight with him, he should be the better man and try to stop the war before it got out of hand.

"Listen, Matt." he began. Matt kept glaring at him. "I just want to say… I'm tired of fighting. Okay? Why don't we just accept the fact that we don't like each other and just move on?"

Matt continue to stare at him, his angry eyes not lifting off his face. "Kiss my ass." he finally said.

Bobby burrowed his brows in anger, but exhaled deeply, not wanting to create a scene. At that moment, Lori came walking back into the shop.

"Okay, so the bathrooms are literally packed so I'm gonna have to wait." she told the two. "You guys ready to continue on with the day?"

"Yeah, Babe." Bobby responded.

"Dieser kerl kann ersticken und sterben." Matt replied in German.

Lori rolled her eyes as the trio exited the shop and continued their bonding experience, though it was more of a staring contest in Matt's perspective- Oh, I'm sorry, _glaring_ contest. Ha! Haaaa! Aaaaah, I'm going to jail.

Lori turned to Bobby, whom was looking straight ahead, then turned her attention to Matt, who had an expression of a mixture of tiredness and anger. "So, uh, Matt… Where do you want to go next?"

"To hell." he coldly responded.

"Don't get all snarky with me." she threatened. "I mean somewhere in this mall. Where do you want to go?"

"Is there a Karaoke bar here?" he asked.

"I don't think so."

"Shit." he muttered. "Well, I dunno. Let's just go anywhere."

Lori sighed in defeat. "You two wait here." Lori pointed to the bench beside them. "I'm going to buy a new pair of shoes. I literally need a new pair anyways."

Afterwards, she walked off, leaving the two to themselves as they sat down on the bench. Matt avoided eye contact with Bobby as much as possible as Bobby squirmed in the seat, clearly uncomfortable sitting next to Matt. Having enough of the silence, Bobby decided to speak up.

"So… You a sports fan?" asked Bobby.

"No." Matt immediately replied in a venomous tone.

"Well… care to explain why you bought nail polish?"

"It's for a friend."

"I thought you said you didn't have any."

"It's for Leni."

"Okay but what about the rings?"

"They're for Lori."

"Lori doesn't like rings."

"Jesus Christ! Why are you on my case?! Can you go five minutes without asking any questions, Mike?!" Matt shouted.

"Mike?" Bobby raised an eyebrow. Matt, in realization, caught on and looked away, an embarrassed look on his face. "Who's Mike?"

"I-It's no one!" he quickly said. "Just shut up, will ya?"

"Why are you so mad at me?!" Bobby shouted. "I tried to be the peacemaker here! I tired to be a better man! But you're clearly stuck in this circle of anger and hatred towards me! What did I even do for you to hate me so much?!"

"You shoved food in my face and caused me to fall down a flight of stairs! That's what!" Matt shouted.

"Yeah!" Bobby shouted back. "Because you locked me in the school's bathroom for the whole day and I ended up getting suspended for 3 days!"

"I never locked you in the bathroom!" Matt retorted.

"Yes you did!"

"When?!"

"I know the exact date: August 31st! Last year! At exactly 11:10 A.M."

"Funny. I remember that time and day. I got shoved in the locker! So it couldn't have been me!"

"Who shoved you in there? Me?!"

"No! Crash Jackson! After he shoved someone… in the… restroom…" Matt caught on, so did Bobby.

The two didn't say a word to each other and just stared off into space. "So it was Crash who trapped in the restroom." Bobby said quietly.

"And shoved me in the lo- Oh, wait. I already knew that already. Wait! That means you fractured my elbow for no reason!"

"I fractured your elbow? Oh gosh, I'm so sorry. At least it's healed, right?"

"It's not healed at all! It's still fractured!" Matt held out his elbow, a bump on the tip visible. "See!"

"How come you haven't gotten that checked out?"

Matt sighed. "Well… at least we know we're not at fault here… No wait. This IS your fault!"

"I said I'm sorry!"

"Sorry ain't gonna cut it, bucko! I can't forgive you for a fractured elbow!"

"Look, Matt! I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have smashed your food on you and make you fall down the stairs. If it helps, I've spent countless of nights regretting what I did. To know I can never make it up hurts me even more. I'm so ashamed in myself. I'm really, truly sorry. I'm not asking for you to forgive me… I just want you to understand." Bobby sincerely apologized.

Matt glared at him, before looking away. He was deep in thought, taking Bobby's words to his warm, yet broken, heart. Fractured, just like his elbow, but it still held his honor that he always had. He was always the type of person to think of others before him. He grew up, on himself, that everyone was neither good nor bad. They were all equal, all human, and that he should respect everyone because of that. Not expecting to get something nice in return, but that it's his job as a human being to respect those around you.

He sighed, knowing what he had to do. He looked up at Bobby with warm eyes. "I forgive you." he said. Bobby smiled as he held out his hand, offering it for a handshake. Matt took it and gave a firm handshake. "I'm still mad about the elbow."

"I know. I'm sorry." Bobby apologized.

Right at that moment, Lori came running towards them, shopping bags in both hands and a panicked look on her face. "Hey, guys." she said quickly.

"Hey, Babe. Good news! Me and Matt made up!" Bobby said in enthusiasm.

"I wouldn't say that." Matt replied with a deadpan look.

"Oh, that is literally great. Now we need to go." she said, fear in her voice.

"Why?" asked her boyfriend.

"I just literally accidentally stole some shoes. We got to move. Like RIGHT NOW!" she yelled before running away.

"What?" Bobby asked.

"Dude. Don't ask. Just run!" Matt shouted as he ran off, followed by Bobby.

The shoe store manager looked at the trio in confusion. "What does she mean by 'stole those shoes'?" asked the shoe store manager to himself. "Doesn't she realize it's 'Free Shoe Day'?"

"Technically that shouldn't exist." an employee said beside him in a nerd voice. "The possibility of a 'Free Shoe Day' would lead to an exponential decline of customers and would most likely cause various fights over such items, thus giving a bad reputation to the store. If you ask me, we should just get rid of 'Free Shoe Day'."

The manager simply stared blankly at the employee, before slapping him. "Shhh. You. Shhh." he said.

* * *

Jack slept in the nest he made, by the Loud house, snoring. Hiccups could be heard during slumber, indicating that he was still drunk.

At that moment, Vanzilla pulled up to the driveway, having already dropped off Bobby. It was already late, being 7:00 P.M., so of course they didn't want to be later.

"Did you enjoy this bonding trip?" asked Lori.

"Eeeeeh." Matt replied, tiredly.

Lori sighed. "Come on. We don't want to be late."

She opened the door but didn't get a chance to get out. "You love your family?" Matt suddenly asked.

Lori turned to him, confused on why he would ask a question with such an obvious answer. "Of course, I do."

"Would you do anything for them?" he asked once more, still not looking at her.

"Of course. Without a doubt."

At that moment, Matt turned to her with a serious look in his eyes. "Good." was all he said.

Lori sighed internally. "Is this about your previous family?" she asked.

Matt looked down, shaking his head a little. "Guys like me… don't have family." He then looked back up at her. "Just be glad you do. And make sure to respect your family's wishes. No matter how much you hate it, no matter how much you try to change their mind, it's their wishes and theirs own…" He looked down again. "...I learned that the hard way…"

Lori blinked, a heavy look on her face. Not knowing what to say, she shut the door and walked inside, leaving Matt inside Vanzilla to gather his own thoughts.

He sighed through his nostrils, as he looked down. He reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out a single bracelet. It was a simple black leather bracelet, twisted with some small sheets of metal to connect them. There was a small patch on it that had the words Gum-Drop on it.

Matt stared at the bracelet, letting out a single tear fall from his cheeks.

 **(I got cucked in that game. I'm mad now.)**


	8. Family Bondings: Leni

Jack stepped on several keys on the Loud's computer, how he got in there, I'm not sure. The screen showed a dating website… for birds. He grabbed the mouse and began scrolling down, until one particular bird caught his attention.

Her name was Amanda, and her description read: I like long flights over the city and enjoy a nice birdseed cake. Jack smiled, finally finding the perfect chick for him. Ah ha haaaaaa.

At that moment, Walt flew over and perched next to him. He squinted at the screen and then turned to his friend, his eyebrow raising. Jack sheepishly smiled, a blush creeping on his cheeks. He then clicked out the website and flew out the open window- oh that's how he got in. Walt shrugged and flew back upstairs.

On the couch was Matt, sleeping on it, fully clothed but had a pillow over his head. His right leg and arm dangled from the couch as his left hand rested on his chest, which moved up and down; he could be heard quietly snoring.

Beside him on the table was a speaker, along with his phone. Ride of the Valkyries was currently playing on the speaker that was connected to his phone.

Not far from the table stood the Loud siblings, looking on as they watched Matt sleeping soundly as the 1921 music played in the house.

"Should we wake him?" asked Lincoln.

"We should." Lucy replied. "It's Leni's turn to bond with him, anyways."

"And I totes know where we're going to go to hang out. I've got the whole day planned." Leni said.

Lisa took the speaker and turned it off, shutting off the music in the process. "Don't worry, sis. Leave this to me." Luna told her older sister.

She walked over to the couch, cymbals in her hands. She quietly crept behind Matt's hand, facing the chimney. She raised the cymbals in the air; Leni winced as she began to cover her ears. Luna was about to smack the cymbals together but was suddenly stopped.

An expression of regret took over her face. "I can't do it, dudes." she said. "He's sleeping so soundly. I don't have the heart to do it."

"What?! Are you serious?!" Lincoln shouted. "You did the same thing to me when you all that Ronnie Anne was bullying me but in this situation, you stop?! You're telling me you would burst out your only brother's eardrums instead of a friend's?!"

Luna stared blankly at her brother for a moment. "You make a fair point, bro."

She suddenly slammed the cymbals together, causing Matt to lift up and grab his ears in pain, screaming in the process.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Matt screamed. "MEINE FICKEN OHRENS! ICH BIN TAUB SIE UNBEDEUTEND PRICK! (MY FUCKING EARS! I'VE GONE DEAF YOU INCONSIDERABLE PRICK!)" Matt shouted in German.

"Hey, Matty." Leni called out. "Let's go and hang out. There's this place that I totes want you to go. It's gonna, like, change your life forever."

"WHAT?!" Matt shouted, clearly not hearing her.

"I feel bad now." Luna said in a sad tone.

"Really?!" Lincoln asked, clearly aggravated.

"I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING! ALL I HEAR IS THIS CONSTANT RINGING IN MY EAR!" Matt shouted, trying to see if he can hear his own voice.

* * *

Matt and Leni entered the Royal Woods Mall with different expressions. Leni had a happy, go lucky smile, while Matt had a confused look, with a hint of tiredness and pain. "The mall… how original." Matt said.

 **(We can use that car to drive out in style! It has no gas you moron! Yeah but there's gas cans scattered around for just such an occasion. Oh, well this should be easy- AAAAAHH!)**

"It is? I thought it was a franchise." Leni responded, wondering.

"Why are we here? I was already here yesterday with Lori Grimes- I mean, Lori." Matt stuttered.

Leni smiled at him. "Because I've been looking at you." she simply said, oblivious as to what she said.

Matt blushed as he looked at his body, surprised on why she would even look at him that way. "R-Really?"

"Yep." she replied, still oblivious.

"W-Wow… I… I don't know what to say… What made you look at me? I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, not the hottest of metal in the irons."

Leni caught on, and realized what she said. "Oh! Whoops. No. No, not that all. I meant I, like, looked at you in a fashiony way."

"Oh." Matt tone went down to a more sadden one, as he looked down. "There goes the rest of my self-confidence… Hold on… fashiony?"

"Yep." she gleefully smiled. "No offense but your outfit is totes disgusting."

"Just like the person wearing it." Matt said in a depressed tone.

"So I was, like, thinking maybe we could give you a new look. Armbands and wristbands, totes disgusting. And that sleeveless jacket, hideous. Along with those gloves. What do you even need them for?" she asked.

"There's a reason why I wear odd clothing." Matt replied, a little insulted. "I wear the gloves to hide my painted nails and my… well, something else." He quickly added at the last part, a look of fear taking over his eyes for a brief moment. "And I have this hood on all the time so I can hide my," he got closer to Leni. "my long hair." he whispered. "The armbands and wristbands is to just match the red should stripes on my jacket."

"Okay, but why a sleeveless jacket?" asked Leni.

"Because it looks cool." Matt honestly replied.

"Well today you are going to get a totally new look. You're gonna look, totes, even cooler than sleeveless jacket."

"Why do I doubt that?" Matt asked to himself.

At that moment, they arrived at the clothes store, much to Leni's pleasure and Matt's displeasure. "Here we are. This is gonna be, like, the best day we're gonna have."

"Please. Kill me." Matt said in an irritated tone, obvious he doesn't want to go through the new look.

The two entered the clothes store, where Leni immediately spotted her friend, and crush, Chaz. "Hi, Chaz!" she called.

Chaz turned around, a smile on his face. "Hey, Leni!" he called back. "Who's your friend?"

The two walked over to him; Matt was slightly shorter than Leni by the way. "You remember him, don't you? He came running into us covered in food and filth. It was, like, totes gross."

"Oh, I remember you. You're Matt Dillon, right?" asked Chaz, the smile still on his face.

"Please run me over with that kart so it can kill me." Matt replied in the same irritated tone with the same irritated look.

Chaz simply looked at him in shock. "Okay then." he said, not knowing what to say.

"So, Matt." she began. "You ready for your new look?"

"I'd rather stick my dick in an anthill." Matt replied.

"Yay!" Leni cheered as she grabbed him and dragged him over to the changing rooms.

Chaz had a confused look on his face as the two left. "Wouldn't that hurt?" he asked himself.

* * *

Leni sat on a bench outside the changing room, waiting for Matt to come out with the new clothes she picked out for him. "You almost done in there?"

"Hold your butt you flippin flipper." Matt lazily replied.

At that moment Matt came out of the room with a whole different style. His old look completely thrown in the trash.

His new look consisted of a midnight blue jacket with the sleeves rolled up and a black vest over it. He wore skinny black jeans with cuffs on the end as well as midnight blue sneakers. He also sported black fingerless gloves, finally showing off his midnight blue nail polish. He wore several bracelets on both wrists, including the "Gum-Drop" one. Up top, his hair was tied in a ponytail, with a very uncomfortable expression on his face.

Leni shrieked in happiness as she had a gleeful smile. "OMG. You look, totes, amazing!" she happily exclaimed.

"Then why do I feel like the rest of my dignity just left my body?" he asked.

"That's what everyone feels like after they change their style." Leni reassured. "Do you think you can pay for all these? I left my wallet at home."

"Meine leben ist gerade ein komplett mess. (My life is just a complete mess.)" Matt muttered in German.

* * *

Jack was currently making a birdseed cake in the kitchen, with the help of his good friend Walt, who appeared to be unsupportive of his decision. Finally, after many hours of working on it, the birdseed cake was finished. Bonus: It was shaped as a heart.

Jack smiled as he grabbed it and flew out the window, leaving a few coins for Walt's services. Walt sighed, grabbing the coins and placing them in the coin jar, before flying into the living room.

The rest of the Loud siblings sat on the couch, staring at the TV… with no sound coming out of it at all.

"Why don't we turn on the TV?" suggested Lincoln.

"Good idea, Linc." Luan complimented.

The door suddenly opened, revealing Matt and Leni, whom had different expressions. Lola screamed as she pointed at Matt. "AAH! Intruder!" Lola shouted.

"Where?!" Leni wondered.

"Lola, Leni, that's Matt… I think?" Lori questioned.

"How can we be sure it is Matt?" asked Lynn.

"Hippity. Hoppity. Women are property." Matt replied in his usual, low, monotone voice.

"It's Matt." Luna said.

"Wow, Leni." Lori said in woah. "You literally did a good job giving him a new look."

"I know, right? I totes did." Leni slightly bragged.

"I wanna fuckin' kill myself." Matt commented, again in his low, monotone voice.

"Aw, quit being so harsh, brah." Luna said. "You're rockin' the punk rock look."

"This isn't even punk rock." Matt admitted. "These are just clothes that Leni picked out, to which I had no say in it. I was hoping they were cheap but they weren't which pains me because I had to pay for them because I have no control over my money that I spend. In fact, I have no control of my life at all. It's all just spirling down a giant toilet as I'm slowly losing control of it along with my sanity."

The whole group remained silent as he finished his dark, depressing rant that even Lucy would call suspicious. "I like the shoes." Lola innocently said.

"God, I hate my life."

"So, Leni. What else are you going to be doing with him?" asked Lincoln.

Leni's eyes went in different directions as the dial up sound became audible. "I think you broke her." Matt told her.

"You mean to tell me her plan for bonding was just giving you a makeover?" asked Lori in disbelief.

"No, that's my idea for our own bonding time." Lola retorted.

"Wow! Spoilers." Lynn told her.

"I mean, I'm up to just staring at the TV, rotting of what's left of my brains and hopefully get my mind off this stupid outfit I have on." Matt looked down at his clothes. "Jesus Christ. She just had to pick out this one. Why the hell did she even pick a vest? I hate vests."

* * *

Meanwhile somewhere in Pennsylvania…

A biker wearing a leather vest stopped polishing his shotgun as he examined the area; he felt a disturbance around him.

"I think I just heard someone say they hate vests." the man said.

"Pills here!" another man shouted in the distance.

* * *

"Well, if you're up to it, you can watch TV with us." Lori offered. "You can choose the channel."

"Alright fine." Matt replied. "My show is on anyways."

Matt walked over to the couch and sat in between Lynn and Luna. Lori gave him the remote as he turned it on to his own channel and his show.

 _Well, what would you say if you did have the words?_

 _Okay. Let's see. I'd say- Holy crap!... Uh, I gotta go._

 _Where?_

 _Chem Lab. Y'know. It moved across campus. Gotta run!_

 _*sigh*_

 _*insert Spider-Man 2003 Intro Theme or just search it up yourselves cuz FanFiction is being a silly dummy right now*_

"Man. I wished they didn't cancel this show." Matt said.

"Oh! I know!" Leni suddenly exclaimed, finally snapping back into reality. "We can all ask Matt several questions and find our more about him!"

"That is the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas." Matt replied.

"I like it!" Lola exclaimed.

"Me too!" Luna said as well.

Soon the whole couch, sans Matt, began agreeing to her idea. Matt however kept his deadpan look. "Why do I even bother?" he asked himself.

Lori turned off the TV as Matt went and sat on the chair, so that way he wasn't crowded with a bunch of people.

"Alright. 20 questions. Let's do this." Matt replied, unenthusiastically.

"I'll go!" Lola raised her hand.

"No! I'll go!" Lana argued.

"Nu-uh! I'll go first!"

"No! Me!"

"How about none of you." Matt offered.

"I ask first, since I'm-"

"We know. You're the oldest." the rest of her siblings cut Lori off.

Lori glared at them before turning to Matt. "So, first question: Where are you from?"

"Heidelberg, Germany." Matt replied.

"When were you born?" asked Lana.

"I dunno. Every time I asked when's my birthday to my parents they either said it was April 1st, September 11th, or February 30th. So they were probably saying that my birthday was either a joke, a complete disaster, or non-existent. Hell! I don't even know how old I am! I could be 15. 16. For all I know, I could be 18!"

"Highly unlikely." Lisa replied. "You are a junior in high school so that would most likely put you at the age of 16."

"Let's just go with 15½." Matt replied.

"Can I go next?" asked Luan.

"Knock yourself out, kiddo." Matt replied.

"How do you feel about April Fools Day?" she asked, smiling.

"Hate it. Absolutely the worst." he replied. "Last year I got accepted into this group that was practically praised by the school and for once I thought I could be a somebody. Turns out I just got shot at with paintballs and I ended up as the public embarrassment of the entire school party that was being held upstairs… I left crying, telling myself how stupid I was to think I could actually have friends." Matt solemnly looked down.

The group looked at each other, feeling bad for the poor kid. "Uh, I'll ask next." Lincoln said. "Do you… trust us?"

Matt looked up, tears erging to come out. "To be honest… I don't know. I honestly don't know if this is just a ploy to ruin my life and you're just sugarcoating it until the time is right and next thing I know, I'll probably wind up out in the streets."

"Well… Is there a way for us to gain your trust?" Lori asked.

Matt stayed quiet. "I don't know anymore." he quietly answered. "I thought you guys doing those favors for me would at least give me trust in you guys but… Well, I'm really grateful that you went through those favors so I wouldn't say that the trust is completely there but… it's there in general." Matt sighed through his nostrils, as he played with his fingers, looking down. He suddenly looked up at the group. "Who's next?"

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Lola asked.

Matt simply gave her a blank look and stayed quiet for a few moments… before chuckling. "You serious?" he asked. "I never had a girlfriend in my life. Why would anyone go for a guy who dressed like the way I dressed before… this." he pointed to his entire body, referencing his new look. He suddenly grew a depressed look. "Listen, kid. I'm not an angel… but I'm no devil either. I'm just a guy with no love in his life. Guys like me… don't have families. They don't get the girl. I've learned to accept that and to just live with it. Just be glad you have family to look after you. They love you. I can tell."

"How can you?" asked Lola.

Matt remained quiet and stared into her eyes. "Because otherwise you'd already end up like me. A complete sack of shit that no one else gives a shit about and has to endure those freaks as family… Excuse my language. Don't go using that around the house, or in general."

"I'm used to it." Lola replied.

"Alright, so, like, I'll go next." Leni said. "What's up with the nail polish? Don't get me wrong, that color is totes nice. Midnight blue really fits you."

"Yeah uh…" he hesitantly paused. "My parents wanted a girl but got me instead. So to try to at least accept me as their son and start loving me, I grew my hair and began painting my nails. I even got my ears pierced." Matt showed off his black studs. "Just to look more feminine and to be accepted by my family… Too bad that didn't work out."

"Then why did you keep it?" asked Lori.

Matt shrugged. "It grew on me." he honestly answered.

"You have any favorite songs?" asked Luna.

Matt shrugged. "Neh." he lazily replied. "I like karaoke if that helps. There's this place I frequently visit to sing some songs to let out all my anger and hatred."

"Sing for us." Luna demanded.

Matt blinked in surprise. "Wha?" he asked.

"Do some karaoke."

"Hey, that's a good idea." Lincoln said.

Matt groaned in complete annoyance. "Gary, now I know I was wrong. I messed up and now you're gone." Matt lazily sung.

"That's the best you got?" asked Luna.

Matt rolled his eyes. "Jeepers, creepers. Where'd you get those peepers? Jeepers, creepers. Where'd you get that sweet ass?"

"Huh?" Lori asked.

"That's not part of the song at all." Luna said.

"I know. I made it up." Matt replied.

"Sing something else." Lana said.

"AaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAH!" Matt groaned loudly. "I like planes because they go fast. Du nu nu nununu nu nu. Into buildings and they kill my dad. Du nu nu nununu nu nu." Matt made up.

"Okay. Alright. We get it. We get the reference." Lori told him.

"Dude. Seriously. Sing at least something. I really wanna hear you sing if you do karaoke." Luna begged.

Matt simply sat like Steven Hawking as he rolled his eyes. He inhaled, preparing to just improvise his song along the way. "I was walking down the street. And then I saw this man. He handed me a plastic bag. I looked inside and what did I see? A whole lot of weed. I went home that night and I smoked the weed. And then my mom, she walked in on me. She said, 'What's that smell?' I said, 'It's nothing.' but she knew for a fact, I was sleeping with my cousin! Ooooh! We got so much, so many problems in this life." Matt began chuckling, unable to improvise anymore.

"Eww!" the siblings said in disgust.

"Is that what you sing?" asked Lincoln.

"No. I sing actual songs at the karaoke bar." Matt replied.

"Then why don't you just sing?" asked Luna.

"Because! I don't- I just don't want to. Okay?" Matt quickly responded.

"Aww." Luna looked down in sadness.

Matt sighed. "Alright fine. We'll go to the karaoke bar when its your time to bond with me."

"You mean tomorrow?" she asked.

"Eh- Fine." Matt replied, not wanting to argue.

"You like sports?" Lynn asked.

"No. Anyone else?" Matt asked.

"Woah! Woah! Woah! I think I deserve another question since that was way too fast."

Matt just gave his signature deadpan look. "Someone just strangle me already." Matt said, annoyed, clearly uncomfortable talking about his life. "Ask away."

"Do you have tats?" asked Lynn.

"What kind of question is that?" asked Lola.

"Yes I do." Matt replied.

"Can we see?" asked Lynn.

Matt sighed as he got up. "Wait! Hold on!" Luna stopped him. "Your tattoo isn't in your… private area, is it?"

"No, Luna. I did not get a Pinocchio tattoo on my penis." Matt replied in a deadpan tone.

"What does Pinocchio have to do with a penis?" asked Luan.

"I already know what he's talking about." Lincoln said in disgust.

"Well Pinocchio's nose grows longer and uh… well… there you go." Matt awkwardly replied.

Logic then picked up as the oldest sisters groaned in disgust. "That it literally disgusting!" Lori exclaimed in disgust.

"But it's clever, I gotta admit that." Lynn said.

"Man. This conversation is getting _harder_ to hold by the minute. Hahahaha." Luan laughed.

"Please stop making sex comments, Luan." Luna told her younger sister.

"What's sex?" asked Lana and Lola.

"Dang it."

"Sex is when an alligator and a crocodile fight each other and soon World War 5 begins because Kim Jong-Un decided to butt rape a bunny rabbit which pissed off the alligator and crocodile- I have nothing else to explain for this excuse of what sex is." Matt stopped himself. "Sex is uh… Well it's… ya see… You'll know what you're older."

"Let's just see that tat, dude!" Lynn exclaimed.

Matt took off his vest and unzipped his jacket and took it off as well, revealing his white muscle shirt underneath. He took that off also to reveal his bare chest, which had 6 pack abs and as promised: a tattoo. The tattoo was a cross that had the words, "R.I.P. Michael "Gum-Drop" O'Hirn 1999-2016"

The group just stared at the tattoo in sadness, before looking up at him. "I'm sorry for your loss." Lori said sympathetic.

Matt sighed. "It's alright. It was 2 years ago anyways."

"What happened?" asked Lana.

Matt's lips quivered as he closed his eyes. "I don't wanna talk about it." Matt's voice cracked, obviously fighting back tears.

"It's alright. You don't have to." Luna replied.

"My mistake that I asked. Sorry." Lana apologized.

"It's alright." Matt reassured. "Everyone makes mistakes. How do you think I got here?"

The group took a moment to realize what he meant before realization picked in. "That's horrible." Luna said.

"I thought it was funny." Luan said. "But he didn't really _protect_ himself. Hahahahaha! Get it?" she asked.

"No, they used protection but it broke." Matt commented.

"Oh." Luan said dumbstruck. "Well then I don't know what to say now."

"Alright so if we're done playing 20 questions, I gotta go… I dunno. Jerk off over some poor guy's sandwich." Matt said.

"I still haven't asked my question yet." Lisa said, raising her hand.

Matt groaned. "Fuck sakes." he muttered. "What?!"

"What's your current IQ level?" asked Lisa.

"I dunno. -5. There. You got your answer. I don't wanna talk about my life anymore." Matt was clearly aggravated on the fact he had to talk about his life.

"Hey, Max." Leni called out. "Can you be my model for a new design I'm working on?"

"My name's not Max- I'm not Electro, for crying out loud."

"Who's Electro?" asked Lynn.

"Jesus Christ." Matt muttered.

"Electro is Jesus Christ." Lincoln chuckled.

"He's more of a Zeus than Christ himself." Matt chuckled as well.

"I literally have no idea what you guys are talking about." Lori said.

"Aaah. It's a Marvel thing. You wouldn't understand because you guys don't know what good literature is." Matt slightly insulted.

"Thank you! I've been wanting to say that to them for a long time but never had the heart to tell them." Lincoln praised.

"When you've had a depressing, hateful life like mine… you don't have a heart." Matt became depressed again.

At that moment, Leni grabbed Matt's arm. "Come on, Matty! Let's go." she exclaimed as she literally dragged him up the stairs.

The group sat on the couch, staring at the TV in silence. "I didn't even get a chance to say anything at all." Lucy said.

"Hey! Who made a mess with the birdseed?!" Lynn Sr asked from the kitchen.

* * *

"Just stand still, I'm almost done with the shirt." Leni told Matt.

"I'd rather tape a kebab skewer to the front of my car and then fuckin' going 50 miles per hour through a school zone to try and make a kebab." Matt commented.

"And done!" She held out a plain midnight blue T-Shirt with the word "Matty" sewed on it. "Like it."

Matt gave her the same deadpan look. "Meh."

Leni lowered the shirt and gave him a confused look. "Why have you been, like, down in the dumps all day?" she asked.

"I don't like this outfit. It makes me look… even more stupider than what I had on before." Matt admitted.

"You don't… like it?" she asked.

"No. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to hurt your feelings. I'm sorry." he apologized.

"You have, like, nothing to be sorry about." Leni reassured him. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have picked your clothes. You should. Not me. If you want, we can go back to the store and we can return them."

Matt smiled. "That's nice. But I do need a new outfit anyways. The other one is getting… old. I'm tired of hiding my feminine side. It's time I show the world who I really am… A sack of shit with no friends! Let's head to the store."

"Yay!... But, uh… you're gonna have to, like, pay for your clothes. I don't have any money on me." Leni sheepishly said.

"Of course." Matt replied in his same deadpan look in the same deadpan voice.

* * *

Walt was perched by the windowsill, admiring his surroundings. Jack suddenly flew next to him, several feathers missing from his body and visible cuts and bruises. He sighed as he looked down; Walt patted his friend on the back. This was clearly a sign that his date didn't go so well.

The other kids were simply watching TV on the couch; since the Dream Boat wasn't on, they just watched whatever was on the screen that they first turned on.

 _So Mastermind, what is it like getting raped by a giant black guy?_

 _Feels warm._

 _WHAT?!_

At that moment, the door opened, revealing Matt and Leni, with Matt in a new attire. This one he was completely fine with.

His new look consisted of a midnight blue buttoned up shirt opened, revealing a white shirt underneath, presumably his muscle shirt. He wore all his rings on all his fingers, along with the bracelets; down low he wore a pair of baggy black jeans, with midnight blue sneakers. Instead of his hair in a ponytail, he let it fall down, only ending on his upper back.

"I'm baaaaaaack." Matt said in a Cousin Kyle impression.

"We know." Lori said, unamused.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Please forgive me for my rude behavior." Matt replied in a sarcastic, yet monotone voice.

"You like his new look?" Leni asked. "He picked it out himself. He looks totes cute in this."

"I'm a guy who looks like a girl- I'm a trap! Why the hell are you calling me cute?" asked Matt, honestly confused.

"What? You do."

"I'm ugly. I'm not cute at all. But you know what they say: There's a nut in every slut." Matt couldn't contain his smile.

Luna bursted out laughing, clearly loving the joke. She looked all around to find out that her siblings weren't laughing with her. "What?" she asked. "It's a good joke. Luan, I thought you would find that funny, dude."

"I didn't even hear what he said since he speaks in that deep, monotone voice." Luan admitted.

"He said he's ugly but you know what they say: There's a nut in every slut." Luna giggled.

Luan bursted out laughing after hearing that statement. "Pfffohohohohoho! Oh! Oh, you're right! That is funny." Luan wiped a tear from her eyes.

"Kids!" Lynn Sr. called out. "Dinner's ready!... And the birdseed is cleaned up!"

"My crotch is itchy." Matt commented.

"You better wash your hands before you eat." Lori said in disgust.

 **(Ian Malcolm: You will remember to wash your hands before you eat anything?)**

* * *

Dinner was usual for the siblings; the kids sat at the kid table and the adults sat at the adult table. Ever since Matt moved in, he of course sat at the adult table, and always next to Luna. He took a liking to her and he could say that she's the closest relationship he has with her out of anyone else, hence why he sits next to her everyday.

Even though he liked Luna, he didn't have any romantic feelings towards her, nor towards any of the other siblings.

For dinner tonight it was meatloaf with mash potatoes and corn. Since Matt really didn't eat anything at all when he was over at his other house, he wasn't too entirely sure about normal food but decided to eat them anyways, but at a slower pace than the others.

"So, did any of you do anything interesting today?" asked Lynn Sr.

"I took Matty to the mall and got him a new look. He looks totes great in them." Leni complimented.

"That's nice, honey." he turned to Matt. "So, you liking the new clothes?"

"I'm rockin' his new threads, Pop-Star." Luna commented.

"Well I no longer have to conceal my feminine side now." he turned to the family. "Yes. I have a feminine side. I'm more of a girl than a guy. But that doesn't mean I don't like guy things… Just clearing that out."

"...Okay…" was all Lynn said.

"Hey uh, I'm sorry for breaking your headlight, Mr. Loud. I already paid for the damages." Matt apologized.

"It's quite alright." Lynn Sr reassured. "You were probably angry because of your father, right?"

"No, it's cuz you hit me with your car!" Matt replied in anger.

"Oh."

Lynn Sr took a look at Matt's right hand and noticed a long scar that came from in between his pinkie and his ring finger. The scar ran down his hand all the way to his wrist, where it ended.

"What happened to your hand?" he asked.

"Hm?" Matt asked, his mouth full of meat.

He looked at his left hand: nothing. He took a look at his right hand and noticed the scar, swallowing his food in the process. At that moment, fear took over his body, his eyes opened wide and his mouth slightly opened. He just stared at the scar as horrible memories flashbacked into his mind.

 _Matt backed up into a set of lockers as a knife was raised and swung down. "AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"_

His own scream echoed through his mind as he continued to stare at the scar.

 _The words KEEGAN was written in blood on the lockers by Matt, whom was holding his wrist in pain, groaning in the process._

"Matt… Matt…" Lynn Sr called out, trying to grab his attention. "Matt." he said a little louder.

Matt shook back into reality. "What?" he asked.

"I asked what happened to your hand." Lynn Sr clarified.

Matt sat there, hesitant on answering the question. "Uh.. I uh… Uh… I-I cut myself while slicing meat once."

"Oh." Lynn Sr replied. "Well be careful next time."

"Y-Yeah. I-I-I-I learned that. I-I-I'm much more c-careful now." Matt nervously replied.

The sisters looked at each other in concern.

* * *

"Bro. I don't like this."

"We all don't like this."

"What's not to like?"

"Other than the fact that Matt's been lying to us? What kind of kid did we let into our lives?"

"A kid who's beginning to get under my nails. Hahahaha. But seriously. We need to know what he's hiding.

Behind Lori and Leni's doors, the older sisters were having a discussion about Matt and his weird behavior. They've all be skeptical of him ever since he burnt his own house down as revenge.

"He could literally be a danger to this family." Lori said.

"I dunno, dudes." Luna counteracted. "I'm not sure. Remember, he's a damaged soul."

"So he burns his house down?"

"I would too if you guys abused me."

"Yeah, well, we don't."

"He's keeping way too many secrets from us." Lynn said. "Like who the heck is Gum-Drop?"

"And did you see how he was acting during dinner about that scar?" asked Lori. "Literally the most suspicious thing ever. Matt's no good, I can feel it."

"What happened to 'family sticks together'?" asked Luna in disbelief.

Lori sighed. "I may have been wrong on calling him family."

"Lori," Leni began. "let's not give up on him like his other family did."

"Yeah!" Luna agreed. "Otherwise we'll be no better than them!"

"I don't know, Luna." Luan said. "Matt sure is acting like an oddball. Hahahahaha. Get it?" she asked.

"Well Gum-Drop is a dead friend of, Matt. That's as far as we know." Luna said.

"Then what about the scar?" Lori asked.

"Probably from his dad. You saw how abusive he was to him." Luna told her. "It wouldn't surprise me that he tried to murder him at some point."

"Should we ask him?" asked Leni.

"No." Lori replied. "That'll send red flags literally everywhere."

"It will?" asked Leni, oblivious to the metaphor.

"Look, dudes. Let's not jump to conclusions. Let's at least wait before we ask him about his secrets." Luna suggested.

"And what if he doesn't answer?" asked Lynn.

"We're meddling kids. We'll meddle with him like we do with Lincoln." Luna replied.

Lincoln suddenly opened the door, popping his head inside. "Someone say my name?" he asked.

"Nope." Lori replied.

"Oh, okay. I'm going back to bed." he said before closing the door.

Lynn yawned. "Yeah, I'm hitting the sheets too. I'm way too tired to discuss Matt's weird behavior."

"Yeah, me too dudes." Luna said before the two headed out.

"I'm going to get a glass of water." Luan said before walking out.

Leni began to walk out as well before Lori grabbed her and pulled her back in. "Leni, this is your room as well." Lori told her.

"Oh." she said.

* * *

Luan came walking out the dark kitchen and into the even darker living room, drinking her glass of water. At that moment, Matt suddenly began gasping for air as he sat up on the couch. Luan hid behind the wall and spied on her 'adoptive brother'.

"Keegan!" he gasped before panting, clearly waking up from a nightmare.

He looked all around and noticed that he was still in the Loud house, safe and sound to whomever this "Keegan" was. He sighed in relief and tiredness before laying back down onto his pillow on the couch.

Luan cocked her eyebrow as she stared at Matt. "Keegan?" she asked herself.

Just how many secrets was Matt keeping from them?


	9. Family Bondings: Luna

Matt sat on the toilet, alone in the restroom, smoking from his bong. He puffed out some of the smoke as a look of regret took control of his face.

"I think I'm becoming an addict." Matt said to himself.

 ***KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!***

"Matt," Luna started. "why are you spending so much time in the bathroom? Are you jacking off in there?"

"No! Don't come in!" Matt shouted from the inside.

The toilet could be heard flushing as Matt came out of the bathroom, innocently smiling.

"Heeeeeey, Luna. What's uuuuuuup?" he asked suspiciously.

"Were you smoking in there?" she asked with a deadpan look.

"What makes you say that?"

"Because I'm pretty sure your erection isn't that big."

She pointed down revealing a large tent in Matt's pants, in his crotch region where he shoved his bong in there.

"Pffft." Matt waved her off. "You kidding me? This is totally my erection. I just have a large penis."

Luna simply pushed down on the bong as it fell through Matt's pants and out his leg hole. It rolled out of his legs as they simply stared at each other: Luna with a deadpan look while Matt had a blank expression.

"That's not my bong… if that's what your wondering." Matt told her. Luna blinked, obviously not buying it. "Okay, so I may be becoming somewhat of a stoner since I've been using it but I'm trying to quit. Honestly. I promise! It's just hard, ya know."

"Are you high?" she asked, retaining the deadpan look.

"No, I'm sober." he replied. "Takes a lot for me to be high."

"Well good, because you and I are having the day to ourselves." Luna smiled suddenly. "There's someone who I want to introduce you to, dude. She's a rockin' friend and I think you two might get along."

"What makes you say that… a second time?" Matt asked.

"You both are really chill people, brah." she replied.

"What do you mean by 'chill'?" he asked.

"Y'know. Things don't really anger you that much and neither does my friend. You're also pretty stoic." she explained.

"Yeah and when I'm not chill, I'm usually sarcastic, annoyed, irritated, cynical, or just straight up a selfish." he retorted. "I'm not a good person, Luna."

"Which is why I'm gonna make you one." she told him. "Come on, let's head to her house. You can watch us practice."

"Alright but I'm bringing this." Matt picked up his bong.

"You're not bringing that." Luna sternly replied.

"It's for my Crohn's disease! You know that. I smoke the pain away."

"I'm pretty sure you don't get stomach pains every 30 minutes." Luna replied with lidded eyes. The two exited the house, preparing to head over to Luna's friend's house, until an unsettling realization kicked in. "Hold on, dude. I forgot. Lori is in the city visiting Bobby and Leni took Vanzilla. I completely forgot about that."

"I don't see the problem." Matt replied.

"Uh, it means there's no way to head over to her house." Luna replied in a 'matter-of-factly' kind of way.

"Sure there is." Matt said.

The two walked over to the garage as Matt lifted it up, revealing his custom Chopper, which sparkled as soon as the sunlight hit it. "You've got to be kidding me." Luna.

* * *

Matt drove his motorcycle with Luna holding onto his waist. Matt had a calm and carefree look while Luna had an expression of fear and panic. "You sure we don't need helmets?" she asked.

"No, we need helmets. I just don't like wearing them. Gets in the way of my hair." Matt replied nonchalantly.

Luna looked passed him to see he was avoiding cars left and right, almost hitting them and just missing. During this ride she learned one thing: Matt was a terrible driver. And not in he sucks at driving, I mean he sucks at safety precautions. He's ran passed red lights, cut people off, and even took out a mailbox.

"Can this thing go any slower?" asked Luna.

"You don't want to go slower. That's how most accidents happen." Matt explained. "It's best if we go at a fast pace."

"That's what I'm afraid of." Luna scaredly replied.

Matt revved up the engine before doing a wheelie, causing Luna to scream and hold onto his chest for dear life. Matt simply laughed as he howled, turning the corner of the quiet neighborhood.

* * *

Matt stopped his motorcycle in front of a house and turned off the engine. Luna was shaking and holding onto Matt's waist, obviously traumatized of the ride.

"You can let go now." Matt told her.

Luna looked to the ground and shakily got off. "L-L-L-Let's n-n-not d-do that a-a-again." she said in a traumatized tone.

The two walked to the doorstep as Luna rang the doorbell. Soon, the door opened, revealing Sam. "Hey, Lunes!" she greeted.

"H-H-Hi S-S-S-Sa-a-a-a-am." she replied.

Sam cocked her eyebrow as she turned to Matt. "What's wrong with her?" she asked.

"Motorcycle ride." he replied. "Wait, hold on. Aren't you my locker buddy?"

Sam raised her eyebrow. "No. I don't think so."

"Yeah. Yeah, you are!" Matt exclaimed in full confidence. "I got shoved in my locker and I asked you for help but all you said was, 'I missed the part where that's my problem.' and walked away." Matt grew an angry look in his eyes.

"I… Uh… I uh…" Sam stuttered.

At that moment, Matt's motorcycle fell down behind him. He turned around to see his bike on the ground. "Aw! I just waxed that puppy!"

Sam closed the door behind her. "So." she began. "You guys ready to have a rockin' day?"

"Just let me shake o-off these bo-o-ogus feelings f-first." Luna replied.

"The paint just scraped off!" Matt exclaimed.

"So, Luna." Sam began.

"Aw no! Not my mirror!" Matt shouted as he walked over to his bike.

"Ready to turn it up to 11 and show Dillon how we rock n' roll?" Sam asked.

"Give me a sec, Sam!" Luna exclaimed. "I just got off a deathtrap."

"Hey!" Matt called out from the curb, putting his motorcycle back up again. "She's not a deathtrap! Diane is a wonderful piece of art that I stole from some pissed off bikers!" His motorcycle fell on its other side at that moment. "Damn it!"

* * *

 _Shook me all night long_

 _You really took me and you_

 _Yeah you shook me, yeah you shook me_

 _All night long_

Sam and Luna finished the song and strummed one final note, before turning their attention to Matt; whom was sitting on a folding chair, looking at the girls with a slightly impressed. "Ya know at first I wanted to kill myself but now I'm interested in what other songs you can play." he told them.

"Thank you?" Sam suspiciously replied.

"Why'd you have to say it as a question?" Matt asked, a little insulted.

"Dumbass?"

Matt began chuckling as did Sam. "Who's up for some Highway to Hell?" asked Luna.

"No offense, Lunes but we've been playing ACDC songs for over 2 hours now." Sam told her friend. "You think we can maybe do something else. As much as I love rockin' out with you, I gotta take a break once in a while."

"You know, Sam, I was hoping one of you two would tell me to stop because it was beginning to be redundant when we began singing Thunderstruck." Luna admitted.

"So what do you wanna do now, Matt?" asked Sam.

The turned to Matt to see him taking a fat vape out of his mod. "What you say?" he asked, his voice deepened thanks to the nicotine.

As if on cue, Luna's stomach grumbled. "Heh. Sorry." she apologized. "Must be hungry."

"Yeah, I'm kinda hungry too." Sam replied.

"We could head over to Burpin' Burger and grab a bite."

"Wait. What?" Matt asked, again, his voice deepened.

"That's a great idea, Lunes." Sam complimented. "Let's head over there now."

"Let's not take Matt's bike." Luna said in fear.

"By entering the Witness Protection Program, you're agreeing to completely cut ties with the old you." Matt randomly said in his deep voice from the vape.

Sam chuckled. "Of course not. It can't even fit three people anyways." Sam told her. "We'll take my mom's car. She won't mind."

"I call shotgun." Matt called out, still in his vape voice. "Just let me put my bike in this garage so nobody steals it…" he paused for a moment. "I was gonna make a dirty joke but I didn't want to cuz you it involves chicks and I didn't want to insult you and make you hate me- This is becoming more awkward now. I'm just gonna shut up."

With that he walked off, leaving Sam and Luna, the former leaning to the latter. "He has a quirky personality. I like that."

"We've been trying to figure out his goal in his life and it keeps changing from being happy to just vaping so we don't really know what goes on in his head sometimes." Luna replied.

"Damn it! The rims are dented!"

* * *

A random person walked into the fast food restaurant, Burpin' Burger, passing by the trio whom were sitting at the booth. Both Luna and Sam had cheeseburgers with fries and a soda while Matt… just had a glass of water.

Luna bit into her burger as Sam scarfed down some fries; Matt just gave the two deadpan looks, almost disgusted on what they were eating.

"You sure you don't want a burger, bro?" asked Luna. "They're the greatest."

"Come on, Luna. Ya know I don't eat that crap." Matt replied.

"Not even a fry?" asked Sam, holding up a french fry.

"No." Matt replied, a little irritated.

"How's everything going?" asked the waitress as she walked to the table. "You enjoying your food?"

"Yep." Sam replied.

The waitressed looked over to Matt and smiled. "Can I get you anything?"

"Yeah. Can I get a refill?" he asked, holding his empty glass of once water.

"You sure you don't want anything?" asked the waitress.

"I'm sure."

"You want a double cheeseburger? Only $5.99."

"No, I'm fine. I just want a refill."

"We have curly cheese fries if you want."

"Listen, lady. I just want a refill. That's all I want." Matt was getting a little angry at this point.

"But I'm sure you want something else besides a refill. Our special today is-"

"I don't care about the special as much as I just want a refill! Now stop being a salesman and just get me a refill, please!" Matt angrily exclaimed as he slammed his fist onto the table, obviously irritated. The waitress glared at him, causing Matt to glare back at her. "Look, if you're gonna show some attitude in your work, I suggest you do it outside. Alright? I'm not in the mood to deal with your bullshit. Now please, get me a refill. I am not hungry. I don't want your food." Matt calmly replied.

The waitress snatched the empty glass from his hand and walked away, grumbling to herself.

Matt sighed in frustration. "Jesus Christ." he said. "Just wanted a refill and she can't even take that as an answer. What's America becoming?" He turned to the girls, giving him shocked looks; he sighed once more. "Sorry you had to see that. It just pisses me off that people can't do the simplest of things like getting a refill for a customer."

At that moment, the waitress came walking to him, a full glass of water in her hand and a not so happy look. She slammed the glass onto the table, splashing water all over him. "Here's your water, transvestite." she venomously said.

"Yeah, fuck you too." he said to her.

"Listen here you brat." the waitress told him. "I put up with a lot of strangers but you have got to be the most rudest of them all."

"This is coming from a person who just called me a transvestite." Matt retorted. "I apologize that you can't understand simple orders. Ya know, I may have been raised by two abusive parents, but even I know to respect those around you but when you start getting giving attitude and begin blabbing out bullshit, that respect is gone, you understand me, bucko? Don't you ever call me a transvestite in front of my sister and her friend again. That is total disrespect to the customer and you shouldn't be working here if you have no respect for your customers so take your attitude somewhere else because as of right now, I'm done dealing with your immature ass. I'm allowed to put shade on you and your attitude. I'm allowed to not order food here and just ask for a glass of water. Alright? And if you fail to understand that well then that's your own problem and you shouldn't take it out on me with your 3rd grade excuses. Now get out of my face or I swear I'm gonna rip those fake eyelashes off faster than my dad could beat me with the baseball bat, you understand me?"

The waitress was speechless as Matt finished his threat, simply staring into Matt's eyes. From what she could see, his eyes were lifeless and had no soul in them whatsoever, making her realize that his threat was real.

Matt turned his attention to another customer, having his phone out and recording the whole thing.

"I see we're on the air." he told her.

The waitress turned around to see the elderly man recording them. "I also caught the 'transvestite' comment as well." he told Matt.

Matt smirked at the waitress. "Congratulations. You made the news." he taunted.

The waitress crumpled up her face and just scoffed, before walking away not wanting to make a bigger scene. Satisfied, Matt turned to the girls. "I'll be outside. I'm not comfortable here anymore."

With that, he left the restaurant without drinking his water, afraid that the waitress may of spit in it. Luna and Sam turned to each other in disbelief, taking everything that just transpired into them.

* * *

Matt smoked a blunt outside Burpin' Burger, having some stomach pains once more. Behind him, Luna and Sam walked up to him, just as he threw the joint on the ground. "Hey, uh, listen." he told them. "Sorry you have to see that. I don't really get angry that much but when people start pushing my buttons then it becomes a problem… Sorry for calling you my sister as well. I know we're not related but it just came out, okay?"

"You have nothing to apologize for, bro." Luna reassured. "Of course I'm your sister. We may not be related by blood but that doesn't matter. You're living with us and that makes you apart of the family."

"Yeah, well I think otherwise."

"So, you wanna head to that karaoke bar you mentioned yesterday?" asked Luna.

"Karaoke-Dokie?" asked Sam. "Aren't you ban from that place?"

"The hell is Karaoke-Dokie? Isn't that a thing from Animaniacs? No, I'm talking 'bout the one downtown." Matt explained.

"There's another karaoke bar in Royal Woods?" asked Luna in disbelief.

"No, it's just a bar in general but it has karaoke in it that people sing all the time."

"Well what are we waiting for? Let's head there." Sam optimistically replied.

"Alright but don't complain about me complaining about the city that needs complaining- I'm really tired right now so I can't even speak proper English right." Matt lazily responded.

* * *

The trio walked into the Red River Bar and walked over to a booth; soon a waitress came walking towards them.

"What will it be?" she asked. She took a good look at the trio just then. "Hey, aren't you three a little young to be in this bar?"

"Don't worry, Cathy. I know the guy. But uh… who are your girlfriends?" asked the Bartender.

"These are just friends, Rick." Matt answered. "They're with me."

"Well any friend of Shark is a friend of mine." Rick replied before going back to cleaning a glass.

Luna turned to Matt. "So," she began. "you gonna sing or is all that just talk?"

Matt sighed in annoyance as he got up from the booth and proceeded to walk to the stage. He walked over to the karaoke machine and typed in a random song from the top of his head. He walked over to the mic as he pressed play.

At that moment, the lights dimmed as everyone turned their attentions to Matt, whom was on stage. Calm, guitar music began playing as Matt sat on the stool. Luna and Sam smiled at the calm music and choice that Matt made.

Almost immediately their smiles were wiped across their face like a hurricane when suddenly heavy metal began playing. On stage, Matt took of his shirt jacket and his muscle shirt, revealing his bare abs and tattoo; he grew an enraged look as he tightly grasped the mic.

 _Lashing out the action, returning the reaction!_

 _Weak are ripped and torn away!_

 _Hypnotizing power, crushing all that cower!_

 _Battery is here to stay!_

 _Smashing through the boundaries!_

 _Lunacy has found me!_

 _Cannot stop the battery!_

 _Pounding out aggression!_

 _Turns into obsession!_

 _Cannot kill the battery!_

 _Cannot kill the family!_

 _Battery is found in me!_

 _Battery!_

 _Battery!_

 _Crushing all deceivers, mashing non-believers!_

 _Never-ending potency!_

 _Hungry violence-seeker, feeding off the weaker!_

 _Breeding on insanity!_

 _Smashing through the boundaries!_

 _Lunacy has found me!_

 _Cannot stop the battery!_

 _Pounding out aggression!_

 _Turns into obsession!_

 _Cannot kill the battery!_

 _Cannot kill the family!_

 _Battery is found in me!_

 _Battery!_

 _Battery!_

During the guitar solo, Matt began air guitaring the mic stand as people just stared at him. Meanwhile, Luna and Sam simply turned to each other in disbelief on what was transpired upon them.

 _Circle of destruction, hammer comes crushing!_

 _Powerhouse of energy!_

 _Whipping up a fury, dominating flurry!_

 _We create the battery!_

 _Smashing through the boundaries!_

 _Lunacy has found me!_

 _Cannot stop the battery!_

 _Pounding out aggression!_

 _Turns into obsession!_

 _Cannot kill the battery!_

 _Cannot kill the family!_

 _Battery is found in me!_

 _Battery!_

 _Battery!_

 _Battery!_

 _Battery!_

With the song done, Matt began panting as he glared at the audience, whom stood silent… before cheering and whistling loudly. One woman flashed her breasts as another man began chugging down some alcohol. Matt calmly placed his shirts back on and walked over to the booth where he was sitting.

He sat next to Sam as a calm expression took over his face. They both stared at him with shocked yet confusion in their eyes. "I told you my music was all over the place nowadays." he told Luna.

"But was really taking off your shirt necessary?" asked Sam.

"Hey, man, once I get into my Big Toe, Lil' Toe persona, there's no stopping me."

"The what?" asked Luna.

"It's what I call myself when I take off my shirt and start singing Heavy Metal."

"Why though?"

"I don't know. I'm still wondering how the hell you're suppose to make toast properly."

"With a toaster." Sam replied.

"Well then explain to me why it always comes out burnt."

"Because you suck at making toast."

Matt sighed in defeat. "The truth is a harsh mistress."

"Well we've still got time before we head home." Luna told him. "Where do you wanna go next, brah?"

Matt smiled. "I already know the answer. There's this nightclub called the Whyte Stayne and I heard Die Antwoord is making an appearance there. We're talking Yolandi Visser AND the hot and sexy Ninja."

"Never heard of those two." Luna replied. "Ah, how bad can it be?" she smiled.

* * *

Luna had a very uncomfortable look on his face as she and Sam accompanied Matt to the nightclub, which blasted music and flashed bright lights everywhere. They were currently on the second floor witnessing the duo singing the song while wearing absurd outfits.

 _I fink u freeky and I like you a lot_

 _I fink u freeky and I like you a lot_

 _I fink u freeky and I like you a lot_

 _I fink u freeky and I like you a lot_

Matt and the rest of the people in the nightclub tanced as they began filming Yolandi twerking on the front stage.

"WOOOO!" Matt shouted as he filmed Yolandi slapping her own ass. "THIS. IS. AWESOME!"

"Why did I agree to come here?" asked Luna to herself.

"Hey, don't get yourself worked up over nothing." Matt told her as he placed his arm over her shoulders and brought her close to him. "Try and have some fun! Sam seems to be having fun!"

Luna turned to Sam, standing next to Matt who sat uncomfortably on a chair. At that moment, a waiter holding a plate of drinks came walking by, causing Matt to grab a glass and pour himself a drink. He turned back to Luna and offered him the drink.

"Drink it. It's an Icepick. One of the best martinis." Matt told her.

"I don't drink." Luna told him.

"Suit yourself." Matt chugged down the entire drink. "WOOOO!"

"So who exactly is Yolinda and who's Ninja?" asked Luna.

"Yolandi is the chick slapping her ass. Ninja's the dude." Matt told her.

"Wait, didn't you call Ninja hot and sexy?" asked Luna.

Matt paid no attention to her as he focused onto the stage. "I love this part!" He began singing along with Ninja as with everyone else. "Jump motherfucker! Jump motherfucker! Jump! Jump motherfucker! Jump motherfucker! Jump! Jump motherfucker! Jump motherfucker! Jump! Jump motherfucker! Jump motherfucker! Jump!"

"Explain to me why you like this place?" asked Sam, coming out of her trance.

"It's fun. It has drinks. And it takes all your worries away." Matt told her.

"Why is it called the Whyte Stayne?" asked Luna.

"Look below you."

Luna looked down to notice the carpets had sperm designs all over it. "Of course." she said.

She turned to Matt whom had his shirt off and was waving it in the air, along with everyone else in the club. "I fink u freeky and I like you a lot! I fink u freeky and I like you a lot! I fink u freeky and I like you a lot! I fink u freeky and I like you a lot!" Matt chanted along with everyone else in the club. "Hey, waiter! I need a refill over here! Icepick, Catfish!"

At that moment, a waitress walked over and refill his drink before he chugged it down. "Reload me, baby!"

Catfish merely rolled her eyes. "I don't get paid enough for this shit." she mumbled to herself as she refilled his drink.

Matt chugged it down immediately. "Keep it comin'!" he told her.

She refilled his drink again. "Matt," Luna said, catching his attention. "don't you think you need to calm down, dude? That's your third drink."

"Fourth actually. I had one before we walked in." Matt told her. "I can hold my alcohol. I don't usually get drunk until my 10th drink. I have an iron stomach baby!"

"I wanna go home now." Sam said in a uncomfortable tone.

"Woah! That chick just flashed her breasts!" Matt snapped a pic of a random person flashing her breasts in the crowd. "That's my screensaver!"

"Sam, isn't that your mom?" asked Luna.

Sam fainted as soon as she took a good look at the person.

* * *

5 HOURS LATER…

Lori, Leni, Luan, Lynn, and Lincoln all sat on the couch watching television; the younger siblings already asleep. At that moment, the door opened revealing Luna and Matt, whom was stumbling across the room.

"Honey! I'm home!" Matt shouted in a drunk tone.

"Luna, where have you literally been?!" Lori asked. "Do you know what time it is?!"

Luna turned her head to the clock. "It's 9:30." she nonchalantly answered. "I would've thought we would've been home by 10."

"You have explaining to do!" Lori said sternly.

"Lighten up, Lori." Matt drunkly said as he swayed back and forth. "I didn't scratch your pedophile."

"Are you drunk?" she asked him.

"You're just mad cuz I have a bigger pee pee than you. Hehehehehe." Matt chuckled.

"Wow. I guess he's not capuble of watching what he drinks. Hahahaha! Get it?" asked Luan.

"You're hot." Matt told her, causing her to blush.

"Well, ya know what they say. A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts." She shyly responded.

"How come ya don't have any tits yet? There's this girl I know, some fuckin' emo hog named Maggie or some shit and she has a nice pair of melons and she's 13... " he turned to Lynn. "You should be jealous cuz your F.L.A.T.: Forever Lacking Any Tits. Hahahaha." Matt began laughing.

"Jesus," Lynn mumbled. "Matt's an asshole when he's drunk."

"Where are my keys?" he asked.

"Your what?" asked Leni.

"My keys. Where are my fuckin' keys? I need my keys to drive to the store to pick up more beer. It's for my motorbike, chopper, piece of shit." At that moment, his phone went off. "Ah shit hold on. That bitch Lori is texting me."

"Excuse me?!" she shouted. "And I sent that text hours ago!"

"Hold on, I gotta- I gotta text her. 'Get off my case, skank. Fuck off, I'm dealing with some little kids. Poop emoji." With that he put his phone away. "Now where are my keys."

"We don't have your keys." Lincoln told him.

"Listen! Listen! Listen! Just listen. I need my keys… to get more beer… so I can drink some more beer."

"Nu-uh. You're staying here." Lynn told him. "Your drunk and you need to sleep."

"Jesus, Luna! Where did you take him?!" Lori scolded her little sister.

"I didn't take him anywhere! _He_ took me to a nightclub where he got wasted! He said he can drink at least 10 drinks before getting drunk!"

"And did he?"

"He got drunk on the 5th shot!"

"I want my fuckin' keys. Just hand them over." Matt told Lincoln.

"I told you. I don't have them." Lincoln glared at Matt.

"GIVE ME MY FUCKIN' KEYS YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Matt shouted.

Lynn knocked him on the side of the head as he fell unconscious on the couch. Everything was quiet as the siblings stared at Matt, whom was lying face first on the couch. "What's going on down there?" asked a voice.

The siblings looked at the stairs to see Lola, Lucy, and Lisa, staring at them. "It's nothing. You guys." Lori told them.

"I'm pretty sure yelling and screaming does not count as nothing." Lisa told her.

"Just go to bed you three." The three obeyed and walked back up the stairs. Lori turned to Luna and glared at her. "That's the last time you take him anywhere."

"I told you. It wasn't my fault. He took us to the nightclub! He shouldn't had that much to drink!" Luna told her.

"He shouldn't be drinking in general!"

"He came from a broken family! What do you expect from him?! He looks like a goddamn chick for Christ sakes!"

Lincoln, Lynn, Leni, and Luan just looked to each other before walking out of the room and up the stairs to their respective rooms.

"Well why the hell do we still have him?!" Lori asked. "He's an alcoholic and a pothead! We should just throw him out!"

"We can't!" Luna told her. "We do that then we're no better than his parents! Besides! This was all YOUR idea anyways!"

"IT WAS ALL OF OUR IDEAS! YOURS, MINE, LENI'S AND LUAN'S! IT'S NOT JUST MY FAULT! IT'S YOUR FAULT AS WELL!"

Luna took in those words to her heart and thought deeply for a few seconds before coming to a shocking realization. "Your right."

"DON'T TALK BACK ME, ROCK STAR OR I SWEAR I WILL LITERALLY-... Huh?" she asked.

"Your right. It is my fault." Luna told her. "I should've watched him. I should've been a good sister to him…" she looked down. "But I failed."

Lori grew concerned eyes as she grabbed her sister and hugged her. "You didn't fail. We all did. You tried your best and that's all that matters. I'm sorry for yelling at you."

Luna sniffed. "What do we do with him?" asked Luna.

"Well your right. We can't throw him out… He's apart of the family now… If I can tolerate 10 siblings… I guess I can tolerate another."

"But… He's an alcoholic and a pothead."

"We'll get through it as a family and we'll get him help." Lori told her. "Now let's head off to bed. I'm tired."

"Me too, sis… Me too."

Luna turned to Matt whom was snoring on the couch, blood visible on the back of his head. She bent down and kissed his forehead. "Goo' night, luv." she told him in her British accent.

The two headed up the stairs as Matt could be seen smiling; the lights turned off afterwards.

* * *

 _-and a employee were caught on film having a scuffle earlier today. The employee's name, Sharla McDougle, could be seen calling a customer various names and insults._

 _"Here's your water, transvestite."_

 _"Yeah, fuck you too."_

 _"Listen here you brat. I put up with a lot of strangers but you have got to be the most rudest of them all."_

 _"This is coming from a person who just called me a transvestite. I apologize that you can't understand simple orders."_

 _The young man known as Matilda Dillon could be see telling off Sharla after calling him a transvestite. Sharla was later fired from her job. Though Matilda did have something interesting to say afterwards._

The person sitting in front of the TV grunted, as he leaned closer.

 _"I may have been raised by two abusive parents, but even I know to respect those around you but when you start getting giving attitude and begin blabbing out bullshit, that respect is gone, you understand me, bucko?"_

 _His earlier statement about his 'abusive parents' were put on high alert of the Royal Woods Police Department and Child Services. They later got information about Mr. Dillon from Royal Woods High School and have the names of his parents: Steve and Gina Dillon._

The person firmly grasped the armrest of his chair as he growled.

 _When authorities went to investigate the Dillon's Residence, they came to a shocking discovery that their home was burned down. All of it's belongings charred beyond recognition. Luckily no bodies have shown up which rules out murder and/or manslaughter but still leaves one question unanswered: Where are the Dillon's?_

A TV remote was thrown into the TV, breaking it, causing the only light source to vanish. The person growled loudly as he sat up and smashed his fist onto a wood desk.

"That. Fucking. Kid." the man growled.

 **(Matt's motorcycle is named after Diane from Nanatsu no Taizai.)**


	10. Family Bondings: Luan

**(I got banned on the Loud House wikipedia page because my occupation broke the rules somehow… I work at Home Depot. What, do they not like architecture? They say I need to change my occupation as a warning but they don't give me a chance and just ban me instantly.**

 **The admin responsible for this is Jaylop91. Fair warning you guys, he's probably a cocky asshole who thinks he can do whatever he wants because he's an admin and probably has his thumb in his ass all the time… I'm sorry for getting angry, but this really grinds my gears.**

 **K. Nuff of the bitchin', I've got this FanFic to write.)**

* * *

Jack laid on a makeshift bed, his wings on his chest; next to him was Walt, holding a clipboard while wearing glasses; they were currently outside, on one of the branches of the Loud's tree.

Matt groggily opened his eyes, his vision somewhat blurred. He groaned as he sat up, rubbing his head. "My head hurts." he groaned. "I shouldn't have drank that much. This hangover blows."

"That isn't a hangover." said a voice.

Matt turned his head to see Lori, sitting on the chair in her pajamas. "Then what is it?" he asked.

"Lynn hit you against the head with her hockey stick."

"Hockey stick?" he asked. He looked at his hand to see a bit of blood on it. "Jesus Christ. I fucked up was I?"

"You called me a bitch and sent me an angry text." Lori responded in a somewhat offended tone.

Matt took out his phone to see some confirmation. Turns out he never sent the text to her; it was there and was ready to send. "I spelled 'poop emoji' instead of actually putting a poop emoji?" he asked.

"Apparently."

Matt sighed. "I'm sorry. I really am." he said in a regretful tone. "I'll be on my way."

"Where do you think you're going?" Lori asked.

Matt turned to her, a confused look on his eyes. "I'm trouble for you guys. I know." he told her. "I'm saving you the trouble by kicking myself out."

"Matt, you're staying here." Lori firmly told him.

Matt stared at Lori, as if an alien just bursted out of her chest. "What?" he asked.

"You're staying here." she replied.

"Why?" he asked. "I mean, look at me! I'm a complete mess! I came home drunk last night and called you a bitch."

"And threatened Lincoln to give you your keys." Lori added.

"Not only that but I smoke pot! Face it, Lori! I'm just trouble." Matt told her.

Lori closed her eyes and sighed through her nostrils. "You are trouble." she told him. Matt looked down. "You know what you also are?"

"A screw up?"

"You're family." she warmly told him, smiling a sweet smile. "Families stick together and we accept each other's flaws. We try to help them and get through the situation. Together. If you are an alcoholic, we'll get through this, and that pot is for your disease, right?"

"Well uh… Uh… Yeah." Matt nervously replied.

"Well then right now there's nothing wrong with you. When do you drink?"

"Whenever I go to that nightclub."

"And how often is that?" Lori asked.

"Not that often." Matt replied.

"Well then, there you go." Lori told him. "Everyone in this family has flaws. Lynn is too competitive. Luna puts the 'loud' in Loud house. Leni is dumb, but pretty… but also dumb. Lincoln reads his comics in his underwear-"

"What's so wrong with that?" asked Matt, cutting her off.

"Well, it's unnatural and also disgusting to see a boy in his underwear."

"Really?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Lori's face flushed, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "It's different in this situation!" she told him off. "Point is, we all have our flaws and look at us, we're still together as a family."

"A perfectly, dysfunctional family." Matt told her. "That is truly an American family and the most normal of them all. An all happy family who's all happy, go lucky and loving is just too… wrong."

"I can agree with you on that."

"So, you guys aren't kicking me out?" he asked, standing up.

Lori smiled. "No. You're staying with us. You're living with us until you move out on your own. You're our second brother and we love you… Your family."

Matt stayed quiet for a moment, the words reaching and touching his heart. "Does this mean I have to change my name to start with an L and have my last name be 'Loud'?" he asked.

Lori chuckled at his silliness. "That's up to you."

Matt warmly smiled at her. "Thanks, _sis_." he told her.

Lori smiled widely at the sound of him calling him her sister. "Your welcome, _bro_." she responded back.

Matt chuckled before feeling his head again. "I need some fuckin' band-aids man. I got some serious boo boo's." he said.

"By the way, it's Luan's turn to spend the day with you." Lori told him.

"Which one is that?" he asked. "Is she the sporty sister?"

He sat back down on the couch and the sound of farting could be heard. He reached behind him and pulled out a flattened whoopie cushion and held it in front of him.

Laughing was then heard behind him as the whoopie cushion was taken right out of his hands. "Sorry to be a _gas_ hole, but I just had to start your day in a _fowl_ way." Luan joked as she placed an arm on his shoulder. "I may not be the sporty sister, but I am sporty when it comes to comedy."

"...Who are you?" he asked again.

"Luan." she answered in a deadpan tone.

"Can you get me some bandages. My head is bleeding." he kindly and calmly asked. Luan grew a deadpan look before walking away, presumably to get more bandages. Matt turned to Lori who gave him a smirk. "I'm up for an unforgettable day, aren't I?"

"Just wait until April Fool's." she told him. "It is literally, full on armageddon on that day."

"...I'm scared now." he told her.

* * *

Matt sat on Luan's bean bag while Luan sat on her jester chair… thingy. She held a clipboard in her hand along with glasses. "So, Matt. What's up?" she asked, smiling.

"My head hurts." he told her.

"So, do you know why you're here?" she asked.

"What are you? Principal Walker?" he sarcastically asked. "What I do? Run in the halls? Leave class without a hall pass? Spray painting a dick on the side of the school and writing, 'Who elected Giant Douche for president'?... Because, that wasn't me… in case you were wondering." Matt nervously smiled.

Luan cocked an eyebrow. "Riiiiiiight." she skeptically replied. "No, you're here to discuss comedy with me. Tell me: do you like comedy?"

"It's alright." Matt shrugged.

"What's your favorite type of humor?"

"Dark humor and offensive jokes."

"Hmm. Mature humor I see." she said to herself. "Hit me with your best joke."

"I can't. I'll get arrested for pedophila and assault." Matt joked.

Luan chuckled. "Okay, that one was good. But seriously. Give me your best offensive joke."

"My uncle died on 9/11." Matt replied in a serious tone.

Luan grew a shocked look as she became instantly uncomfortable. "I'm… sorry about that." she said in a sympathetic tone.

"It's alright." Matt responded. "He was aiming for the south tower but hit the north one instead." Matt couldn't help but smile.

"Oh my God." she mumbled as she facepalmed.

She had to admit that was pretty clever of him. Tricking her into thinking he was an innocent before revealing that he wasn't. "I have another one."

"Let me hear it." she said.

"I hate it when I give my vape bottle to a child and I get arrested for child vape."

"Oh my God. I hate you so much." she chuckled.

"I like tryin' to bust a nut and have it land perfectly in the center of my belly button but it's hard to nail the trajectory, ya know?" he chuckled, giving Luan a disgusted look. "I'm also afraid that one of these days I'll cum and it'll land right back inside my dick and I'll get pregnant."

"Okay, so you can also do sexual jokes as well." Luna noted.

"Offensive, dark humor, and sexual jokes are my speciality… Though no one ever listens to me." Matt said the last part quietly.

"Lucky for you I'm an open minded girl." Luan told him.

Matt snorted through his nose. "I bet you are." he said to himself.

"So let me hear your best sex jokes."

"Alright so this man went up to this woman and raped her. The end." Matt lazily said.

"That wasn't a joke, that was just a short, horrific story." Luan told him.

"Did I mention the woman was a transgender man?" Matt added.

Luan busted out laughing. "Oh man! That's a good one." Luan laughed. "Give me another one."

"Knock. Knock." he started.

"Who's there?" Luan played along.

"I'm raping you." Matt began chuckling.

Luan cocked an eyebrow in confusion. "I don't get it." she said.

"It's suppose to be so stupid that it's funny. That's the point." he explained.

"Still don't get it." she replied. "Ya got anything else?"

"I got something in my pants, if ya know what I mean. Ha haaaaa." Matt pretended to laugh; Luan merely blushed and she sheepishly smiled and looked away. "It's my uh, it's my vape mod. I keep it in my pockets at all times in case I need to rip a fat one."

"Oh." she replied in a deadpan tone, her blush dying down.

Matt took a hit from his mod. "Aw yeah, brother. That's pretty sweet, man." he said in a deep voice. "Why're you asking me to make jokes in the first place, by the way?"

"It's a test I made up myself." Luan explained. "It's to see if you know what true comedy is."

"Did I pass?" asked Matt.

Luan studied the clipboard in her hands as she adjusted her glasses. "Not even close."

"God damnit." Matt mumbled. "So, now what?"

"Well, I'm giving Lincoln the day off today so you can be my assistant for a birthday party I'm heading down to." she answered. "You ever heard of Funny Business?"

"Nope."

"It's my own birthday business where I perform in front of children for the sake of entertainment."

"Do you get paid?"

"No." she bluntly answered.

"Then no thanks." Matt harshly replied.

"Come on!" Luan whined. "Where's your sense of humor? Get it?" she asked before giggling to herself. "It's for the children."

"Why? What have children ever done to me?" he selfishly asked.

"Please?" Luan gave him puppy eyes.

Matt stared at her with a deadpan look before sighing. "Fine. But only because I know you'll just keep doing that to me all day."

"I would've given up in a few seconds." Luan admitted.

"Fuck." Matt mumbled. "Okay, well when's the birthday party?"

"Not until 4 P.M. later today." she answered. "You'll literally laugh out _loud_. Hahahaha! Get it?"

"Yeah." Matt lazily replied. "So what do you wanna do before then?"

"...I don't know. I haven't thought about it yet." she answered.

The two sat in silence, trying to think of an activity. "You wanna have sex?" he asked.

Luan grew wide eyes as she blushed madly.

* * *

Luna walked towards her door and grabbed the knob, until moaning could be heard inside. Luna pressed her ear against the door and began listening.

"Oh, Matt. You magnificent beast… Harder…" Luan moaned. Luna grew an extremely disturbed look. "Right there. Yes. Right there." She began moaning louder now.

Luna slowly backed up from the door and walked down the stairs; the disturbed look not leaving her face.

* * *

Luan laid on her stomach on her bed, as Matt massaged her shoulders. "A little to the left…" Matt moved his hands to the left. "Yes. That's better."

"How'd you hurt your shoulders again?" he asked.

"Throwing pies." she answered. "It really _throws off_ your shoulders. Heh. Get it?" she asked in a dreamy state.

"Ya wanna know what my favorite pie is?" he asked in a seductive manner.

"Creampies?" she replied in an equally seductive tone.

"I was gonna say pumpkin pies but creampies are nice to."

"Do you even know what I'm talking about-"

"Yes. Yes, I know what you're talking about." Matt replied in a deadpan tone. "Good thing you didn't take the sex request seriously. Otherwise it would've been weird between the two of us."

"Yeah…" Luan grew a sad look. "Didn't take it seriously." she sighed.

"I would've asked for someone to make a portal to get me the hell out of the situation."

"Oh!" she exclaimed as she stood up, causing Matt to hit his head on the roof of Luna's bed. "I just realized what we can do today!"

"What? Throw pies at people?" Matt asked in a dizzy state.

"No! There's this comedy club I go to. It's called the Chortle Portal! You can watch me perform over there!" she eagerly.

"I'm Mr. Meeseeks. Look at me!" Matt replied in the same dizzy tone, all the while his voice cracking.

* * *

Jack sat in a bar, a depressed expression on his face, as he rested his head on top of his wings on the counter. All around him were several other sparrows and even some finches. Behind him was a stage where a finch was currently telling a joke, causing every other bird to laugh.

Jack sighed before his order, a birdseed milkshake, was placed in front of him; though he did not care. He simply faced down onto the counter, concealing his face.

Down below, the actual Chortle Portal was brewing with laughter as Luan took the stage.

Meanwhile, Matt sat alone in a booth, having a disinterested look on his face. A waitress came walking up to him, a notepad in her hand.

"Want anything to drink, sir?" she asked kindly unlike the last one.

"Get me a Blue Hawaiian." he replied, not looking at her.

"Sorry, but you have to be 21 or older to order any sort of alcohol." she told him.

Matt raised a fake ID in front of her face. "Dwarfism." he lied.

The waitress looked at him confusingly before walking away to get him the drink. Meanwhile on stage, Luan held up Mr. Coconuts as she leaned into the mic.

"Say, Mr. Coconuts." Luan started.

"What is it, Luan?" Mr. Coconuts replied.

"What do you call a ball that doesn't bounce?"

"I don't know, Luan. What _do_ you call a ball that doesn't bounce?"

"I don't know. I was asking you." The audience began laughing at the joke as Matt simply blinked, his uninterested look retaining. "So there's this blind man who walked into a bar. Luckily he wasn't running." Luan joked.

The audience laughed some more. "Ain't that the truth!" a blind, black man exclaimed in the audience.

At that moment, Matt's drink was placed on the table; he grabbed it and took a sip out of it.

"So these two people decided to go to the guy's house-"

"Boo! You stink!" shouted a heckler.

Luan stopped and looked at the heckler, whom was an obese kid with a tight gray shirt, brown shorts and sandals.

"I stink huh?" she asked the heckler with a smirk. The audience began booing the heckler. "If I stink- Hold on, I got this." she told the audience. "If I stink, then I don't wanna be near you because you smell like you just came out of the womb, sir. You look like it too. You look like you were born yesterday."

"At least I know humor." the heckler responded.

"You know humor?... Come up here, then." The heckler stood in one spot, not moving. "See, that's what I thought. You're all talk but no bite. You're like an autistic chihuahua. You think you're tough, the toughest chihuahua on the block and out comes a pitbull just walking all over you… Not so tough now, huh?" the audience began laughing some more. "Humor is a very delicate process, it's like Jenga. One false move and it call comes towering down like grandma on Black Friday."

The audience roared in laughter as Matt took another sip from his drink. The heckler scoffed as he stuck up his head the other direction.

"Tell me, do you have a favorite video game?" she asked.

"Battlefield 1." the heckler responded.

"Battlefield 1? What's that all about?"

"World War 1."

"Let me ask you: Have you ever fought in World War 1 before?"

"No."

"Then what the fuck do you know about Battlefield 1 then?" she asked. Almost immediately, everyone laughed as the heckler sat quietly in his chair, realizing he lost the fight. "That's all folks. See you around." she told the audience as she walked off the stage.

Everyone cheered her on as she walked over to the back booth where Matt sat, drinking his cocktail. "Nice job with that heckler." Matt said.

Luan shrugged. "I deal with them a lot." she replied.

Matt smiled before something caught his attention .He looked passed Luan, which also caught her attention. She turned around to see the heckler approaching them, an angry look on his face. "Oh great." she mumbled in anger.

The heckler approached her. "I don't appreciate being made fun of in front of everyone."

"And what gives you the right to do the same to me?" she asked, no longer in a happy mood.

Matt just stared at the two, the same uninterested look having not leaving his face.

"Not my fault I'm pointing out the truth." the heckler taunted.

"Ya wanna know truth?" Matt asked, catching the two's attention. "You look like you just came out of the womb yesterday. Smell like it too."

"You shut your mouth, kid." the heckler threatened.

Matt took a sip from his drink before getting up from the booth and staring right into the heckler's eyes. He stared at them for a long time, making the heckler uncomfortable. He slightly backed up as Matt just got closer; the adolescent just stared into the kid's eyes.

Silence filled the area between the two.

"I don't appreciate people making fun of my friends." he told him. The heckler backed up as he fell onto a chair; Matt chuckled as he jumped and sat on top of a table. "Ya know what motivates people?" Matt asked. The kid just looked at him with a slight hint of shock in his eyes. Matt just got closer to him and smiled. "Fear." Matt finished.

At that moment, Matt pulled out a hunting knife from his inside jacket pocket, scaring the kid, along with Luan. Matt examined the knife, almost admiring it before setting it on the table. He began to scrap some of the wood off, extremely close to the kid's arm.

"I think you need to be motivated on how to treat people with respect, ya understand?" he asked.

The kid gulped, not knowing how to respond. Matt suddenly stabbed the table, causing the kid to flinch. He began petting the kid's head, even caressing his hair before kneeling down to be eye level with the kid. He tightened his grip on the kid's hair.

"If there's one thing I learned through my time on this god forsaken planet is that you treat others with respect, no matter if they don't deserve it." he scolded him in a deep, yet quieting tone. "I learned that human life is sacred and should be treated with care. One false move, bucko and that human life is no longer sacred… it's scarred. Ya know that old Chinese saying? That human life is like a sheet of paper and all the negative effects we have on it is like a pencil mark? Well if you keep marking up that sheet it's just gonna turn into a giant mess, a huge mark that's irerasable." Matt got closer into the kid's face, which shriveled up with fear. "My sheet of paper is all marked up… do you want yours to be too?"

Matt continued to stare into the kid's eyes before getting up from the table. He grabbed his knife and grasped the kid's wrist and slammed it down on the table. He forcibly spread the fingers before playing the five finger knife game. The kid squirmed, not liking what was going on as Luan just stared blankly at the two.

"Don't squirm. You're just gonna mess everything up." Matt told the kid.

Almost immediately, the kid stopped squirming but still whimpered in fear, even shedding a few tears. Matt continued the knife game before stopping. He chuckled as he saw the kid's face drenched in complete fear and tears. Suddenly, Matt slammed the butt of his knife onto the kid's hand, who screamed thinking that Matt was gonna stab him.

Fortunately, the kid stopped screaming and realized that it was only the butt of the knife. The kid looked at his shaky hand, completely relieved that he wasn't hurt, before turning his attention to Matt; whom just stared blankly at the kid.

"Do you know what motivates people?" Matt asked again.

The kid just got up from his chair and ran away, wanting to get far, far away from the Chortle Portal as far as possible. At that moment, cheering could be heard as Matt turned around, to see everyone in the comedy club, even the waiters and waitresses, clapping and cheering for him. Matt chuckled before smirking; he walked over to the booth and chugged down the rest of his drink.

Luan looked at Matt, in complete astonishment.

"Nice, show." Matt told Luan.

Luan smiled. "Thank you." she replied, liking this new side of Matt.

* * *

Luan and Matt entered the house, being the only ones downstairs. "Thanks again for taking care of that heckler for me, Matt." Luan thanked. "It was a _knife_ thing to do. Hahahahahaha! Get it?" she asked.

"I don't take too kindly to people being a dick to someone else." Matt seriously answered. "So what now?"

"It's almost 4." Luan answered, looking at the clock. "We should get ready to head to the kid's party."

"What should I wear?" asked Matt.

"I'll give you the assistant uniform. That's all you need to wear."

"What's my job?"

"Be an assistant, duh." Luan responded in a playful tone. "Your job is to just hand me props and I'll do the rest. Just don't go all overboard like my previous assistants. And don't get too cocky if people start laughing at you."

"I'm used to people laughing at me." Matt gave off a deadpan tone along with an equally deadpan expression.

"Actually, we have a few moments to spare. You wanna do anything?" she asked in a playful manner, as if she was waiting for him to ask a certain question.

Matt stood silent for a few seconds, still having the same look. "I'm probably gonna go vape in the bathroom."

"Oh." she asked. "Hey, uh, can I ask you something?"

"What is it?" he asked.

"What are you thoughts on… sex?" she asked shyly.

"It's alright." Matt answered, shrugging.

"You ever had it before?" she asked.

"Yep. I've had it a couple of times. Mostly from drunk high schoolers because god forbid a sober one would take one look at me and just slap me across the face and run away."

"I wouldn't do that." Luan casually mentioned, blushing a bit.

"...Okay?" Matt questioned.

Luan's blush died down before clearing her throat. "So, uh… What do you like in your women?"

"I'm not into romance." Matt replied.

"Say what?"

"I'm not into romance." he said once more. "I don't want to be in a relationship."

"How come?"

"Because I'm afraid I may hurt my girlfriend if I do." he started explaining. "Then I'll end up just like my dad. I value human life. I don't want to hurt anyone that I care deeply about. It'll make me feel even shitier than I already feel. We're all born human, no one is born good or bad. There is no evil in this world. There are no angels or devils. There's just… people."

Luan was moved by his words, knowing his deep, personal philosophy. "I never knew that." she told him before smiling. "You're a good kid. I can tell."

Matt smiled back. "Thanks."

The two stared at each other in silence before Luan spoke up. "So, what gets you in the mood for sex? Just asking." she innocently smiled.

Matt raised an eyebrow in response, unknowing how to response.

* * *

Jack jay walked across the road, his head down; he's had this depressed spell for such a long time that he didn't really care about his life… almost didn't care.

He turned to his head to see a motorcycle heading his way, scaring him.

"AAAAHH!" Jack screamed before flying away, just in time for the motorcycle to miss him.

Matt, in the assistant uniform, rode the bike with Luan, whom was in her jester uniform, grabbed hold of his waist for safety precautions.

"Where'd you get this bike anyways?" she asked.

"I stole it from some bikers." Matt answered. Luan grew a shocked look. "Don't worry, they were selling it anyway."

"I like it." Luan complimented. "Especially the custom license plate: Beating You."

In the back, the license plate, which was black with yellow letters, read: BEATNGU.

"No, it says 'Be Eating You'." Matt replied.

"You mean from that old horror movie from 2001 or something?" asked Luan.

"Yep." Matt answered. "One of my favorites."

"Take a left down this street." Luan pointed to the street ahead of them.

"Alrighty then." Matt answered.

He revved up his bike before doing a wheelie and riding down the road, the radio blaring at the same time.

 _Golly jeepers  
Where'd you get those peepers  
Peepshow, creepshow  
Where did you get those eyes_

* * *

Matt stood on the stage with the same uninterested look on his face; he blinked slowly. Meanwhile, Luan was riding her unicycle in her jester uniform, juggling some balls. She purposely missed one so that all of them would fall on her head.

"Gee. That sure was a _strike_ to the head." Luan joked.

Every kid began laughing as Matt groaned in annoyance. "Can't believe I'm not getting paid for this." he said in a sour state.

"Now, who's up for some balloon animals?" she asked. Almost every kid began raising their hand shouting, 'Me!'. "Would my fair assistant please hand me the balloons?" she asked politely.

Matt walked over and handed her the balloons. "Go crazy." he sarcastically said.

"Ha! Ha! He's funny!" one kid said.

Luan turned to Matt and an idea popped in her head. "You think that's funny? Hey, Matt."

"What?" Matt asked in a monotone, deadpan voice.

"What did the giraffe say to the hippo?"

"Get out of my way you fat hippo?" Matt sarcastically asked.

The kids began laughing loudly, some even clenching their stomachs. "How does a beaver use a cellphone?" Luan asked.

"I dunno. Cellular data?" Matt once more sarcastically asked.

Once again, laughs filled the area. "What do ducks order at a lemonade stand?"

"Luan, I'm not getting paid for this. Why are you asking me all these questions?"

"Aww, don't be like your dad, Matt." Luan playfully said.

"Well the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and apparently this one got ran over by a lawnmower." Matt replied.

Every kid laughed out loud, while one kid ran out the backyard, a diaper covering his head.

"Speaking of apples." Luan began shaping the balloon into an object: an apple. "Take a bite out of this."

"No!" Matt harshly replied.

"But you know what they say: An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

"Not if you have Crohn's Disease." Matt sarcastically replied.

"Just eat the apple, pretty." Luan did an impression of the Wicked Witch.

"If I eat this apple, will you stop asking?"

"Certainly!" Luan did an impression of Curly now.

Matt groaned before grabbing the apple. Without hesitation, he bit into the balloon and it popped in front of his face, scaring him. He backed up until he fell into a bowl full of fruits, an apple landing in his hands. "Hey, I found your apple." he told Luan.

Every kid began laughing, even the parents as well. "Oh my God, Sharon. I am literally dying!" one woman replied.

"I know, right Roberta!" Sharon replied.

"No, I'm literally dying! I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer!" Roberta told her.

"Oh my God, Roberta! You are hilarious!" Sharon told her as she began laughing while holding her friend's shoulder.

"Fuck you too, Sharon." Roberta told her before walking away.

* * *

Matt and Luan arrived at the house as Matt stopped the engine. The two got off and bean walking to the house until Luan stopped him.

"Tell me that wasn't fun." Luan playfully told Matt.

"It wasn't fun." Matt obliviously said.

Luan grew a deadpan look. "I didn't mean it literally."

"Oh. Whoops." Matt apologized.

"Maybe the next time I give Lincoln a day off, you can be my assistant?" she offered.

"We'll see." he replied.

The two began walking towards the house; at that moment, Luan began pondering about something. She's been wanting to ask him the question ever since the day started but was too afraid to ask. She decided it was now or never and exhaled through her mouth.

"Hey, Matt." Luan said.

"Hm?" Matt responded, his eyes still on the house.

"Remember when you went shopping with Leni the other day?"

"Yeah?"

"Well… When I came downstairs for a glass of water that night, I saw you on the couch, sleeping. And then you sat up and screamed, 'Keegan'." Luan responded. Matt stopped in his tracks as did Luan. "Who's Keegan?"

Matt turned to Luan, having a terrified look on his face, as if he just saw a box of full of kittens get murdered. Luan gave him a confused look, as well as a look of regret. Matt then suddenly grasped Luan's shoulders, his terrified expression retaining.

"Luan," he began. "my parents abused me. Physically, mentally, psychologically, and even sexually. They would locked me in the basement and feed me nothing but fish heads for years. My mom neglected me and called me horrible names and even used to hit me. My dad used to beat me with a baseball bat everyday just for not being a girl. My life was a living hell over at my old house and I hated living there and I wanted to commit suicide more times than I can count… but Keegan… Keegan was far, far worse than both of them combined." Matt explained in a shaky, fearful tone. Luan also grew a terrified look. "It's not just me… It's everyone. You're lucky you weren't in Royal Woods High two years ago. Keegan is a monster. A cruel, unforgiving beast with a black heart. He didn't only terrorized me… he terrorized everyone. Everyone is glad that he's gone. The whole group decided that it was best to get rid of them. Though some didn't agree on the terms but the faster we got that monstrosity out of our lives… the better."

"What are you talking about?" asked Luan.

"Ask any Junior or Senior at school and they'll tell you the same thing I told you." Matt got close to Luan's face. "He was a catastrophe…" he whispered.

He let go of her shoulders, a traumatized look on her face, as with Matt; he continued walking towards the house. Luan blinked several times as she stared at Matt walking away… Just… stared.

* * *

Lori and Leni were both in their room, with Lori typing away on her phone while Leni was reading a fashion catalog magazine. The moment was interrupted when knocking could be heard.

"Come in." Lori told the person behind the door.

Luan opened the door and peeked inside. "Hey, can I ask you two something?"

"Sure. What is it?" asked Leni.

Luan fully walked inside the room. "Uhm… Do you two know who Keegan is?"

The two grew shocked looks as they both stopped doing what they were doing. They looked at their younger sister with feared looks. This just confused Luan even more. "Uh…" was all Lori said. "Look! A flying giraffe!" she pointed behind Luan.

"Where?!" Luan asked excitingly.

She was then kicked out the room as the door slammed shut, locking could be heard behind her. She scoffed in an annoyed manner before walking to her own room. She entered her and Luna's room, a look of annoyance taking over her face.

"How come nobody is answering my question today?" she asked. She looked up to see Luna sitting on the chair, a stern look crossing her face. "What?" she asked her older sister.

"You two better have used protection." Luna told the comedian.

Luan cocked an eyebrow in response; a bamboozled look painted all over her face. "Huh?" she asked.


	11. Family Bondings: Lynn

**(My first chapter just hit 1000 views!... And the second chapter just hit 300. Da fuck? Why the f*** does the second f***ing sh** chapter of this f***ing sh** a** c*nt* p**ck b***ard v***na d*ck get only 300 f***ing views?...**

 **Why do I get demonetized so much?**

* * *

Jack laid on the makeshift couch as he began chirping to Walt, whom was holding the clipboard like yesterday. One could not understand what Jack was saying, as they were speaking in birdish, but by the looks of Jack's face… it was not delightful. Walt glanced down on the clipboard, a pencil in his hand; turns out he wasn't taking notes and instead drew a crude drawing of Jack with an arrow pointing at him that said, 'iDioT'. Walt chuckled at this.

Matt laid on the couch in his usual attire, not moving a muscle. He didn't have any energy nor any motivation to get up. His whole body just felt heavy to him. Like one move and it'll give away any energy that was in his body. His right arm rested on his forehead as his left handed rested on his stomach, moving up and down every time he breathed; he continued staring at the ceiling.

His vision was blocked as Lynn looked over him.

"Hey, Matt." Lynn greeted.

"What?" he asked in a tired tone.

"You ready to have some fun?"

"I'm not in the mood." Matt lazily said with barely any energy.

"Come on, please?" Lynn pleaded in a playful tone.

"I'd rather just lay down and do nothing. I'm not even worth hanging out with. I'll just bore you to death."

Lynn cocked an eyebrow and scrunched her face. "What makes you think that?"

"'Cuz I'm useless and just a waste of space. No wonder my parents just abandoned me on the side of the road. Who would want an abomination like me?"

"Come on, Matt." Lynn smiled. "I know what'll cheer you up. Some family bonding time with your favorite sister!"

"You're not even my sister… and you're not my favorite." Matt replied, finally looking her in the eye.

"Well I'm gonna make you my favorite. Now come on!" Lynn grabbed him by the arm and dragged him away.

* * *

Matt and Lynn stood outside in the backyard, the day beginning already for the two of them. "Alright. First things first: Martial Arts." Lynn announced.

"How is martial arts a spor- OW!" Matt was interrupted as Lynn punched him in the face. He rubbed his face before turning to Lynn. "Ah fuck. I can't believe you done this." Matt told her in a British accent.

 **(To whomever doesn't get this reference… I dunno. I'm sorry for threatening you… please favorite this story so I can feed my kids.)**

"Come on, Matterino." Lynn quipped. "Take it like a man."

"I'm trying, dad but you keep hitting me." Matt replied, again in his sarcastic tone.

Lynn began throwing punches left and right, to which Matt managed to block all of them.

"Hit me harder, daddy." Matt said in a moaning voice.

"Huh?" Lynn questioned in a confused tone, stopping the assault.

"What's down there?" Matt asked, pointing to the ground.

Lynn looked to the ground, a terrible mistake. Matt suddenly swept her off her feet by tripping her with his leg. She fell to the ground, in shock that Matt managed to beat her within mere seconds. Matt stood over Lynn with a stoic expression.

"Never lower your eyes to an enemy." Matt quoted.

Lynn got up and dusted some dirt off her. "How'd you learn to do that?" she asked.

"I learned Krav Maga from…" Matt hesitated for a moment. "Well… it was a long time ago."

"Oh yeah? Show me?" Lynn dared.

"Alright. Throw a punch at me." Matt ordered.

Lynn did not hesitate and threw a punch, only for Matt to catch it. He elbowed her in the face, causing her to fall backwards. However, he pulled her back towards him and headbutted her, now making her fall down to the grass. Matt brought a fist to Lynn's chest, as if he was holding a knife.

"You're dead. Not big surprise." Matt told her.

"Okay, so you know a few moves." Lynn groaned as she felt her nose. "Ow." she said. "I guess Martial Arts are out of the question. Which means we can go to one of my favorite hobbies."

"What's that?"

"Sports." Lynn eagerly replied.

"Of course." Matt rolled his eyes.

* * *

"So, you ready for some Cricket?" Lynn asked as she and Matt held Cricket bats.

"Cricket?!" Matt asked dramatically. "Nobody understands Cricket! You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand Cricket!"

"I'll teach you."

Lynn swung the Cricket bat as it smashed into Matt's lower legs. "AAAAHH!" Matt yelled in pain as he fell on the ground, grabbing his legs in pain. "I fully understand now." Matt sarcastically replied in a painful tone.

* * *

"So hockey is something we can't do but we can do an alternative of it." Lynn began. "Floor hockey!"

"Why not just air hockey?" asked Matt.

"Because that isn't a sport and floor hockey is better."

"I dunno about this.." Matt said. "What if we get in trouble?"

"Quit being such a Lincoln, dude." Lynn replied.

"Someone say my name?" asked Lincoln as he popped out his room.

"I was talking to, Matt, Stinkoln." Lynn responded.

"Are you guys about to play floor hockey?" the only brother asked.

"You bet we are. You wanna join?" asked the sporty sister.

"Mom and Dad said not to after last time, remember?"

"It took me several hours getting that puck out of my butt!" Luna shouted from her room.

"I bet it was a _pain in the ass_. Hahahahaha! Get it?"

"Luan. Oh my God. I will slap you."

"I'm not sure, Lynn." Matt cautiously said. "I don't want to get in trouble with your parents. What if they kick me out?"

"They won't. Now stop worrying and think fast!"

At that moment, Lynn swung the ball with her hockey stick, which hit Matt directly in his nutsack area.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Matt screamed out in excruciating pain. At that moment, every Loud sibling opened their doors and looked in the hallway to see Matt grabbing his ball sack area, crying on the floor. "You broke my dick off!" he sobbed.

"I didn't mean to shoot it towards your dick!" Lynn worriedly said.

"What happened, dude?!" Luna asked.

"Lynn shot a ball and it hit Matt's… area…" Lincoln replied. A painful looked grew on his face. "I could feel it from here. That hurt me." he said as he instinctively grabbed his private area.

"We should elect Lynn as the _nutcracker_ for next Christmas. Hahahaha! Get it?" Luan joked.

"I can't feel my balls!" Matt cried as he sobbed some more.

"What's going up there?!" Lynn Sr asked from downstairs.

"Nothing!" everyone, sans Matt, replied.

"I'm on my period!" Matt shouted. "I'm bleeding!"

* * *

Matt had an extremely furious look on his face as he crossed his arms on the couch. "Heh heh. My B, dude." Lynn sheepishly apologized.

Matt was shown with his pants down and an ice pack on his boxers over his nutsack.

"Shut up, ponytail." Matt replied.

"Y'know, maybe floor hockey was a bad idea." Lynn admitted.

"Ya think?!"

"Hey, we still have a whole afternoon ahead of us! We can do something else. How about some baseball?" she offered.

"With two players? Don't we need a catcher and a outfielder or whatever they're called?" Matt asked.

"I got two friends who can fill in those spots, if you're still willing to hang out that is."

Matt sighed. "I made a promise and I'm a man of my word." he admitted. "Just let me rest up for a few seconds."

"Hey, Matty." Luan began as she walked over to him. "How's your," she began blushing. "how's your penis?"

"Luan, I got hit by a speeding ball. How do you think I feel? It hurts very much." Matt replied.

"How bad is it?" she asked.

"Trust me, you don't wanna know."

"Oh but I do. Can I see?"

Matt awkwardly stared at her, as if she just morphed into a giant lizard; he honestly had no answer for her absurd question.

* * *

Lynn, Margo, and Francisco waited at the Royal Woods Baseball Stadium for Matt to finish his business. Matt was shown peeing over in a bush, however he was aimless peeing, spraying it everywhere all the while holding his penis in one hand; his free hand swayed side to side, as he if didn't give a rats ass that he was peeing on public property.

"You sure about this, Lynn?" asked Francisco.

"Positive." Lynn answered her crush. "This is a great way to spend some quality bonding time with my new brother. Why so nervous?"

"Because you tend to be…" Margo tried to find the right words. "aggressive when you play sports."

"What? No, I don't!" Lynn retorted.

"Lynn, you threw your bat at a kid who didn't catch the ball." Francisco replied with a deadpan look and tone.

Lynn blushed as she took a moment to process. "Okay, I might get a little hyper when it comes to sports but this time I promise to calm down."

"If you say so." Margo rolled her eyes.

Matt walked over to the trio, just now zipping up his zipper. "It burns like a motha when I piss." he commented.

"Gee. One little mistake. I said I'm sorry." Lynn said in an annoyed tone.

"No, I've always had burning piss." Matt explained. "I should've used a rubba back then." The trio stared awkwardly at him, realizing what he meant. "I mean, I did try to stick it in her butt but she kept telling me not to."

"Okay! That's enough information!" Margo exclaimed.

"What? I was like, 'I'm sorry! I can't see! It's dark!'. It was like 2:43 at night at the time and we tried to be as quiet as possible and she was still somewhat drunk at the time-"

"Okay! We get it!" the trio told him.

"I'm just warning you guys."

The group stood quiet for a brief moment, not knowing how to respond to Matt, until Lynn broke the silence. "Play ball!" she shouted.

Margo crouched down at the catcher's position, a glove in her hand, Francisco was in the middle of the field as Lynn was pitching; Matt walked up to the plate and held the baseball bat in his hand.

Lynn squinted her eyes before pitching, throwing the ball towards Matt… only for it to hit his balls again.

"AAAAAAAAAHHH!" Matt screamed as he grabbed his area and fell to the ground. "You broke it again!"

"You threw it at his dick!" Francisco shouted as he grabbed his nutsack area, the pain passing to him.

"I guess my aim is off today." Lynn said to herself.

* * *

"Okay, you ready?" Margo asked at the pitcher's mound.

Everyone, sans Matt, switched places. Francisco was now the catcher, Margo was now the pitcher, and Lynn was the outfielder or whatever they're called. I dunno sports, dude.

"You throw that ball towards my balls, I'll bash your brains in like I'm Negan, you understand!" Matt threatened.

"No, I don't. Who's Negan?" asked Margo.

"Just throw the ball, Glenn!"

"Who's Glenn?"

"Just throw the ball!" Francisco shouted from afar.

Margo pitched and threw the ball; Matt swung his bat as hard as he could. The ball went outstandingly far, causing Francisco to run and not pay attention. The ball then left the park, a homerun was made.

"I don't believe it." Lynn said.

"Ha! Ha! That's what I'm talkin' about!" Matt cheered.

"It's out of the park!" Francisco shouted.

"I know!" Lynn shouted back, smiling. "Who knew Matt was great at sports?"

"No, I mean it's out of the park! It's gone!"

"What do you mean it's gone?" asked Margo.

"Oh, it's rolling down the sewer pipe right now."

"Whaaaaaaaaa?!"

"Talk about a low budget stadium. No blow or hookers. I'm outta here!" Matt exclaimed. "I like stealing third bases better."

"Ah nononono! We need that!" Lynn told Matt, whom held the base over his head. "What're you doing- AAAH! AAAAAAA-" Matt threw the base at Lynn, knocking her to the ground.

* * *

Lynn sat on the couch with a pout and crossed arms, along with a black eye on her left eye. Beside her was Matt, whom had his feet on the table. "That's for the nutsack." he told her.

"I said I'm sorry!" Lynn whined.

"Sorry ain't gonna heal these balls!"

"I'll heal your balls!" Luan said from upstairs.

"Shut up." he said quickly.

"Look, my B, dude." Lynn apologized once more. "Look, there's still some time left. We can do something else if you want."

"You know how to play poker?" Matt asked.

"No."

"Fuck." he said under his breath. "Okay, well I don't know what we can do."

Lynn's face brightened up. "Hey! I know what we can do!"

"I am NOT playing sports!" Matt shouted.

"Come ooooon." Lynn whined.

"No."

"Pleeeeease?"

"No."

"Pretty pleeeeease?" she gave puppy eyes.

"N. O."

"We'll get tattoos afterwards that'll say 'Sports Buddies'."

"I'm gonna get a tattoo that says, 'No'."

"Come ooooon. Pleeeeeease?"

"Alright, fine!" Matt shouted, having enough of her whining. "We'll play your stupid sports."

"Great!" Lynn exclaimed. "I know just the sport."

* * *

"Basketball? Are you kidding me?" Matt asked.

He held a basketball in his hand as he looked at the basketball hoop over the car garage. Lynn stood beside him, her fists on her hips as she smiled at him.

"Basketball is THE #1 sport in all of America." Lynn said.

"I thought baseball was."

"It's the most safest sport out there." Lynn countered.

"Yeah, tell that to the guy who broke his leg and the other guy who had his eye come out of his socket." Matt countered back.

Lynn shuddered at the thought of seeing the injuries. A quick flash of them appeared in her head, causing her to shudder more. "Just shut up and shoot, Matt."

Matt dribbled the ball in place before throwing the basketball. However, it hit the rim of the hoop and bounced back towards Matt, which hit him in the face. "OW!" he shouted as he fell to the ground, holding his nose. "My nose is in my brain!"

"Matt! Matt! Matt!" Lynn called. "Let me see. Let go." Matt let go of his nose; she widened her eyes in horror. "Oh my God!" she shouted.

"What?!"

"You're an idiot!"

Matt sniffed as he rolled his nose, which was perfectly fine and intact. "Where's your ball?"

"Over there." Lynn pointed to the street.

Sure enough, the ball was in the middle of the street. Before Lynn could even move a muscle, a car ran over the ball, which caused said car to topple over and begin crashing into the ground. The car rolled down the street before it impacted with another car.

A loud and constant honking could be heard from both cars as the whole neighborhood went silent, except for the honking.

Matt and Lynn looked at each other, not knowing what to do.

Suddenly, two pairs of thumbs up could be seen from both car windows.

"We're okay!" the drivers both said.

Matt turned to Lynn, whom did the same. "Trouble?" he asked.

"Trouble." she confirmed.

"Kitchen?" he offered.

"Kitchen." she agreed.

The two ran back in the house and locked the front door, not wanting to get in trouble.

* * *

"So check this out." Lynn started as the two stood in the kitchen. "You know how they have those protein shakes and everything."

"Yeah?" Matt replied.

"I just drink an egg yolk."

"Ew."

Lynn cracked an egg and let the yolk spill into a cup. Afterwards, she chugged the thing down like it was nothing. "Now you try." she said.

"Yeah, I'm good." Matt retaliated.

"Come on. Don't be such a wuss."

"I'm not being a wuss. I just don't want to throw up."

"Pssh. You're just like Lincoln."

"You called?" Lincoln asked as he popped his head in the kitchen.

"No, I was talking to Matt." Lynn answered.

"Oh, okay." He left.

"If by that you mean smart. Yeah. I am like Lincoln." he countered. "I don't drink disgusting stuff like egg yolks."

"But how are you gonna be fit if you don't drink your protein?" she asked.

"Ya know, I heard cum has protein." Matt said aloud, his finger on his chin as he looked up.

Lynn gave a deadpanned look. "Okay. That's just- Okay. Just-" she inhaled through her nose. "Okay." she had absolutely nothing to say to that statement.

"What, I'm just saying?"

"So what're you saying? You're gonna drink cum?" she asked.

"No. That's something women do if they're up to it. I mean, men can drink cum if they want but me personally, nah. I wouldn't. If the chick wants to swallow then she can swallow but I'm just saying I wouldn't really do it mostly because that'll seem gay even though I don't have a problem with homosexuality." Matt calmly stated.

"Thanks for the info, dude."

"You're welcome."

"Alright," Lynn looked up to the clock. "we have almost an hour left before dinner. What do you wanna do then?"

"Sports is out of the question because screw 'em!" Matt exclaimed. "How 'bout we do something I like to do."

* * *

Lynn had a confused look on her face as the sunset rays hit her cheeks. "This is your idea of fun?" she asked. She's shown sitting with her knees up on top of the roof, with Matt laying next to her; he rested his head on his hands as he crossed his right leg over his left one. "We're just sitting on the roof."

"And enjoying the sunset as well." Matt answered. He sighed in complete relaxation. "Isn't this nice? Just two people on the roof, enjoying the nice sunset."

"This is boring." Lynn said.

"Hey, you're welcome to get down anytime."

"No thanks. I'll get down when you get down."

"Suit yourself."

Matt closed his eyes as his smiled became more relax. The two sat in silence as Lynn watched the sunset fall down the horizon. "Hey, Matt."

"Yeah, Lynn?"

"You went to Royal Woods Middle School, right?" she asked.

"Sure I did." he responded, now looking her in the eye. "Why'd you ask?"

"Just wondering if you went to that school or another."

Matt shut his eyes again, the smiling forming back onto his face. "I went to all Royal Woods' schools. Royal Woods Elementary and now I'm in Royal Woods High."

"How was your school year during Junior High?"

"It sucked." Matt answered honestly. "Just like the rest of my school years. I got beaten up with oranges, with sauerkraut-"

"Wait, hold on." Lynn stopped him. "Slow down. You got beaten up with what?" she asked.

"So, back then there were fads going around the school." Matt began explaining. "There were those kids with the Yu-Gi-Oh cards, the Pokemon cards, Digimon. Well hitting me with a pillow case of oranges became one of them. One time during my P.E. class, we were doing nothing since it was a Friday, so we had the day off of exercising to do whatever we wanted. Well in the back of the school was a soccer field and on the side of the field were some orange trees. And the oranges fall during the June season, which it was back then, and this one kid got a pillowcase from home and filled it up with like, three to four oranges and began beating me with it. And so that became the new fad of the school and everyone got into it. Even Lori and Luna. They were the most frequent people who used to beat me up with oranges." Lynn's face turned one into shock after hearing that her own sisters were in on this. "So, I went to the teacher, Mrs. Mitscus, and I said to her, 'Help. They're hitting me with oranges.' and she said, 'I didn't see anything.' and she walked away." Matt began chuckling afterwards. "Man, I had a terrible Middle School experience."

"Did Lori and Luna really beat you up with oranges?" asked Lynn.

"Of course." Matt said, smiling. "Lori was in the upperclassmen P.E. class while Luna was in my own. Just ask them both. They'll probably deny it but don't worry, you're dear ol' brother will sort this out."

"You sound like a grandpa." Lynn bantered, chuckling.

Matt chuckled as well. "I guess I'm just old."

"Matt, you're 16."

"Yeah." his smile soon faded. "16 and already my life is crumbling to pieces…" He remained silent as he looked at the sky. "Where did it all go wrong?"

"Huh?"

"I'm meant to have a happy life with a loving family and yet here I am. On top of a roof of a family who does give a shit about me." Matt began ranting. "I was abandoned by own blood borne parents on the side of a road because they got a replacement for me. Now look at me. No friends, no family. I'm just a nobody. A loner, that's all. And I'm stuck talking to you people because no one else gives a shit about my sad, sad life. I'm nothing but a worthless, pathetic specimen on this God forsaken planet. Look at me. I'm sweaty and I have a headache. I've always had a headache. I lack companionship and I'm a scarred soul."

Lynn focused on her "brother" and listened to every word during his rant, feeling sympathy for the poor soul. "Matt." she said. He turned towards her. "Do you have depression?"

Matt sighed. "I'm not sure. I don't know. Maybe… maybe not. I just don't have the motivation to keep on living, ya know. I no longer find hunting fun anymore, and that's my hobby. I should be having fun doing it… But as of lately… I'm just not feeling it."

"Well whatever you have, we can get through it." she placed a warm smile on her face. "As a family."

"You keep saying that, as if we are." Matt said. "We all know I'm not family. I'm just some guy living with you until I move out."

"But Matt, that's what family is."

"Hm?" he turned to her to see her smiling.

"Family is all about living and learning." she started explaining. "Look at children. They live with their parents until they move out. That's what you're doing. So in a way, you are family, just not blood related. But just because we don't have the same blood, doesn't mean that you're not family. Family is all about the people that stick with you, that love you no matter what you are. They'll always be by your side 'till the end. You may not think we're not your family but to us, we see you as a second brother, a part of the family."

Matt turned away, the uncertain expression still glued to his face. "I don't know what family is anymore." he quietly said.

* * *

Matt sat on the couch in silence, the TV on in front of him. Not that he was listening to it. He was too busy thinking about earlier, on the roof, on what Lynn said about family. All his life, he never truly had family, and those that were betrayed him. At this point, he didn't really know what family truly meant at all.

"Kids! Dinner!" Lynn Sr exclaimed from the dining room.

Almost immediately, all the kids ran down the stairs and into the kitchen. Matt slowly got up from the couch, sighing heavily. He made his way to the dining room where he took a seat next to Luna. In front of him was meatloaf, with corn and mash potatoes with gravy on top of them.

He sat down and stared at his food, picking it with his fork, biting a little of the meatloaf.

"So, Lori." Lynn said with her mouth full before swallowing. "You know what I heard from Matt?" Lori looked at him. "I heard that you and Luna beat Matt up with a pillow sack full of oranges during Junior High."

Lori and Luna stopped chewing and dropped their forks on their plates.

"What? Is this true?" asked Rita in curiosity.

"It was a long time ago!" Lori pleaded.

"We were young back then!" Luna added.

"But you two are still young. Even you Lori." Rita said.

"We didn't know he was gonna be our future brother, dude!" Luna explained. "If it helps, we both regret what we did that day."

"We did?" Lori asked. Luna kicked her shin underneath the table. "Ow!"

"Well, I'm sorry that happened to you, Matt." Lynn Sr said. Matt however paid no attention to the conversation, and continued to stare at his food. "Matt."

"Huh?" Matt asked, snapping back into reality turning his attention to Lynn Sr.

"Lynn said that Lori and Luna beat you up with oranges." Lynn Sr explained. "I'm sorry that happened."

Matt went back to staring at his food. "It's fine." he said. The parents looked at each other in slight confusion. Sighing, Matt got up and placed his plate of food next to Luna's. "Here. You can have my share. I'm not hungry." he solemnly said before walking out the dining room.

The family followed him with their eyes as he exited the dining room. Not even knowing that Matt was in a very dark place right now in his life.

* * *

It was currently the middle of the night, as Matt laid on the couch. His face scrunched up during his sleep, currently having a nightmare. Various voices echoed through his mind during his nightmare.

 _They lied to me._

 _They shot at me._

 _They hates on me._

 _They're using me._

 _Afraid of me._

 _They're dead to me._

 _They are my ENEMY!_

Matt's eyes suddenly widely opened, waking up from his nightmare. He looked all around to see that he was still in the Loud house. He saw his phone on the living room table; he extended his arm to reach the phone and turned it on, revealing the time: 1:43 A.M.

He sighed, placing the phone back on the table. He face upright, staring at the dark ceiling. He placed his right arm over his forehead as his left hand rested on his chest. This was just another nightmare he always have every night.

He didn't go back to bed until 5 A.M.

* * *

 **(Sorry this is so short. I can only think so much for a chapter...**

 **Why do these words seem bigger than the rest? Is it because of the bold?... I'm not sure anymore.)**


	12. Family Bondings: Lincoln

**(First off, I apologize for the chapter's mess… this chapter and last chapter… mostly because it was 1 o'clock at night and I wanted to go to bed. In words of Tony Hayward: We're sorry.**

 **Secondly, thank you sthompson1 for helping me through this dark time I'm in right now. It really means a lot to me. I may come off as overbearing, somewhat selfish… and stupid, but it's how I cope with my loneliness. I'm truly grateful to have a friend like you… If you're reading this, I'm taking a chance on you, remember that. I'm hoping you don't become like the other snakes I was friends with… But I am thankful for you… Thanks.**

 **Alright, let's blow this taco stand.**

 **Did somebody say "boom"?!**

 ***BOOM!***

* * *

Matt slept heavily on the couch, snoring silently as the morning sun rays hit his body, but this didn't wake him. On the side of the couch was used to be his bag, but now it was no longer there.

Upstairs, the Loud siblings were crowded in Lori and Leni's room. On top of Lori's bed was Matt's backpack as the siblings crowded around it, debating if it was alright to snoop inside.

"You sure it's alright to snoop inside?" asked Luna.

 **(Hey, I just said that.)**

"It's the only way we can know if he has depression or not." Lincoln answered. "After what Lynn told us during the sibling meeting last night, I'm more worried for him than ever."

"Hey! We said we were sorry!" Lori exclaimed.

"Not the oranges, his depression." Luan told her.

"Oh."

"Well…" Lynn said. "Open sesame."

"Isn't it 'Open Says Me?'" asked Leni.

"No, it's 'Open Sesame'." Lincoln replied.

"You sure? Because I heard Chaz say it like, 'Open Says Me'."

"He probably doesn't know it's 'Open Sesame'." Lynn said.

"Wait, I heard Chaz say 'Open Sesame' before." Lincoln said.

"When?"

"Remember the-"

"Just open the damn bag!" Lori shouted, before covering her mouth as a shocked expression took over her face.

Lynn opened the bag and began pulling items out left and right.

"Notebooks. Pencils. Textbooks. His lighter. A crude drawing of George Washington with no pants. A sex change catalog." Lynn announced as she threw the items out the bag.

"Wait. Huh?" Lori asked at the last remark.

"Ah! Here we go! His journal!" Lynn pulled out a black leather book.

"We can't snoop in that!" Luna told her. "Lola can though."

"You bet your guitar I can." Lola took courtesy in taking the book.

She open the book and was introduced with a drawing of lion standing on its hind legs while wielding a plasma gun over its shoulder. "I completely forgot Matt can draw pretty well."

Lola began flipping the pages, only seeing various animals in armor while holding weapons. Finally, she found a page with actual writing.

"Ah! Here we go." Lola said to the others. "'The point of this journal was the write about my feelings in here and all I've been doing is doodling in here. I guess this can be considered a sketchbook instead of a journal. Oh crap. I left my stove on. The fact that I'm writing this in confus-'... It just stops there."

"He probably went to turn the stove off." Lincoln said.

Lola flipped a page. "Just more ranting." she said. "Blah blah blah. Crash Jackson. Blah Blah. School lunch. Blah blah blah. Something about not agreeing with the gender he was given and that he wishes he was a girl. Just more nonsense." She began flipping page after page until they reach the end. "That's it. That's all of it."

"So his whole journal is just filled with nothing but rants and pictures?" asked Lana.

"It is his private journal, therefore he is welcome to write or draw whatever he wishes in there." Lisa explained.

"Am I the only one who's noticed that he's questioning his gender?" asked Lori.

At that moment, yawning could be heard from outside; the siblings turned around to see Matt scratching his butt while shooting out mucus from his nose, all while in his usual nighttime uniform: a baggy midnight blue shirt, his boxers, and socks. He entered the restroom afterwards.

"Lincoln, take his bag downstairs. It's your turn to hang with him today." Lori told him.

"Yes!" Lincoln exclaimed. "I've been wanting to spend time with him! I can finally hang out with a guy now in this house instead of you nosy girls! Plus a bonus: he's living with us so that means I'll have a brother forever! Woo-hoo! I'm not longer surrounded by sisters!" He ran out the room, carrying Matt's bag. "WOOO! YES! YAHOO!"

The sisters just continued staring at the exit of Lori and Leni's room in confusion. "What was all that about?" Lucy asked.

* * *

Matt walked up the refrigerator and opened it, sticking his head inside. "Hey!" he exclaimed. "Who used up all the hot sauce?!" At that moment, Lincoln walked up behind him as he closed the fridge door; he turned around to see the white haired kid. "Oh, hey Snow White."

"What's up, Matt?" greeted Lincoln. "Hey, do you wanna play video games with me?"

"Hmm. Tempting." Matt said. "What's in it for me?"

"You get to rest and relax and not exit the house at all today. You get to snack and enjoy some nice, adventurous video games."

"You had me at rest and relax." Matt smiled.

* * *

Matt and Lincoln sat on the couch, various games on the table. "Alright, so what do you wanna play?" asked Lincoln.

"Whatever, man." Matt replied. "You choose."

"Okay, uuum…" Lincoln grabbed a random video game. "How about Muscle Fish X?"

"Sure, let's play that." Matt agreed as Lincoln placed the game inside the console. "Let's play a legally safe knock off of a 2015 modern generation video game console that was adapted from a 1992 combat series that is more family friendly than blood and gore." Matt said as he grabbed the controller.

 _Muscle Fish X!_

"You ready, Matt?" asked Lincoln.

"Oh, I'm ready. Ready to kick your ass!" Matt exclaimed. "I'm gonna beat your ass so hard that you're gonna wish yo mama never met yo father!"

 **3 minutes later…**

"I have no idea how to play this!" Matt exclaimed as he randomly mashed buttons on the controller.

On the screen, it shows Lincoln's character beating the absolute crap out of Matt's character, much to Matt's chagrin.

"Watch this!" Lincoln exclaimed.

"I'm watching and I don't like it!"

"Check this out!"

"Wait! How'd you do that!"

"Boom!"

"Ah nononono! I need that!"

"Take this!"

 _FINISH HIM!_

"And you're dead!"

"Damn it!" Matt said in a disappointed tone. "You destroyed my balls and that distracted me."

At that moment, the Loud sisters entered the room and sat around Matt and Lincoln, all with eager looks on their faces.

"Uh, hey guys. What's up?" asked Lincoln.

"The Dream Boat is on in 10 minutes." Lori said. "I wanna see if Brandon is still on the show."

Luna and Luan chuckled nervously in response.

"Well me and Matt are playing a game right now so that's gonna have to wait." Lincoln told her.

"Fine, but as soon as it comes on, we're changing it." Lori replied.

Matt and Lincoln slumped on the couch, with Lincoln have a victorious smile while Matt had a defeated frown. The white haired kid turn to the long haired fellow. "You enjoying this game so far?"

Matt turned to his side. "OOOOOOOHH! THERE'S A FUCKING BUG ON THE FUCKING COUCH!" Matt shouted as he pointed to a cockroach on the armrest of the couch. Lincoln got on top of Matt as he reached his controller on the other side and began smashing the cockroach with his controller. "There's a bug on the coooooooooouch! AAAAAAAAHHH!"

Finally, the bug was killed, much to Matt's relief. Lincoln went back to his side, but knocked over the lamp in the process.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOHH NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Matt shouted.

"The insurance company is gonna have a blast with us." Lincoln said. "Hey, I have an Oculus Rift. You wanna use that? I have this game where you draw something and I have to guess what it is."

"If it's better than this game, I'm up for it." Matt lazily replied.

* * *

Matt stood in the middle of the living room, the Oculus Rift over his head while the rest of the siblings sat on the couch.

"I don't know how to use this damn thing." Matt said.

"You sure you're allowed to use that language?" asked Lori.

"'Course man, I can say whatever the FUCK I WANT, LORI!" Matt shouted. Lori nervously chuckled in response. "AAAAAHH! IT'S SO BRIGHT! I CAN'T SEE!"

"Alright," Lincoln began. "so we can see what you're seeing now and-"

"Can you see this?" asked Matt.

On the television screen, it's showed Matt's hand grabbing another man's private area and began rubbing side to side. The siblings groaned in disgust as Matt began chuckling; afterwards, Matt punched the man, causing him to be blasted into a wall, much to Matt's happiness. He began laughing up a storm.

"So, you have to draw whatever you want and we have to guess what it is." Lincoln explained to Matt.

"Whatever I want?" asked Matt.

"Whatever you want."

"Alright."

"He's gonna draw a penis, I swear." Lori guessed.

Matt picked the color red and began drawing whatever his imagination wanted him to draw. He drew a sickle in the air and began drawing a hammer.

"Russia?" asked Luna.

"V Sovetskoy Rossii, serp i molot eto rekvizit dlya seksa. (In Soviet Russia, the hammer and sickle are props for sex.)" Matt spoke in Russian.

"So, is it Russia?" asked Lynn.

"Yes. It's Russia." Matt answered.

"Not to burst your fun but the Dream Boat is literally about to come on in less than a minute." Lori told the boys.

Lincoln looked down in sadness. "Oh. Well we had fun while it lasted, right Matt?"

"I can't see out of this thing!" Matt exclaimed as he began walking.

However, unbeknownst to him, he tripped on the table and fell forward, right onto Luan's crotch area, causing her to blush madly. "Oh, Matt." she moaned. "If you wanted to have fun, you should've asked."

Luna began gagging.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Matt's muffled scream could be heard.

* * *

Lincoln laid on his bed reading an Ace Savvy comic as Matt sat against the wall, playing with his Karambit Autotronic. "Well, I'm out of ideas." Lincoln admitted. "You have any?"

Matt swerved the knife around his fingers. "Nosiree Bob." Matt replied.

"Well this is boring. I wish our lives could be as interesting as Ace Savvy."

"Who the hell is that?"

Lincoln showed him his comic book. "One of the best superheroes ever! He and his sidekick, One-Eyed Jack, fight crime all over the city." Lincoln explained. "He's one of my favorite characters ever. I even made my own costume of him." Suddenly, an idea came into his head. "Hey! I have an idea! We should make you into a superhero!"

"What? You mean get bitten by a radioactive spider or have my parents shot and killed?" asked Matt. "'Cuz I'm up for the second option."

"No. I mean you should create your own superhero costume." Lincoln told him. "You can come up with it yourself. Your costume and your superhero name."

"Lincoln, don't you think I'm too old for dress up?"

"Then what are actors?"

Matt sat quietly for a brief moment, letting the comment sink in. "Crap!" he exclaimed in defeat.

* * *

The girls sat on the couch, currently watching the Dream Boat; that is until, Lincoln quickly came down the stairs, fully in his Ace Savvy costume. The girls turned to see their brother, wiping some dust off his costume; they couldn't help but snicker at this.

"Where you going, twerp?" asked Lori. "To make an embarrassment of yourself."

"You're already succeeding." Lynn added, causing the rest of his sisters to laugh.

"Ha. Ha. I forgot how to laugh." Lincoln sarcastically said.

"Oh no! Do you need help remembering?" asked Leni. "Because, like, Luan totes knows how to make people laugh."

"Besides you guys." Luan mumbled.

"It's sarcasm, Leni." Lincoln answered. "I just got Matt to make his own superhero costume and his own superhero name."

"I feel bad for him now." Lola said.

"As do I." Lisa added.

"Matt! You ready?!" asked Lincoln. A groan could be heard upstairs. "He's ready."

Footsteps could be heard as Matt came walking down the stairs… in his usual attire. The only thing he changed was that he taped a piece of paper to his chest with the big, red letter S on it. Lincoln turned to Matt and was confused at what he saw. "Where's your costume?" he asked.

"I'm wearing it." Matt answered.

"That's your costume?!" Lincoln asked, flabbergasted. "All you did was just write the letter S on a piece of paper and taped it to your shirt!"

"I know." Matt replied. "It is I, SUUUUPER MATT." Matt exclaimed, unenthusiastically as he raised his fist into the air.

"And I thought Lincoln's outfit was terrible." Luan said.

"Cut him some slack, guys." Lincoln said. "He's not very enthusiastic about this."

"He's not enthusiastic about _anything_." Lisa said.

"They make a point." Matt said. "I no longer find vaping any fun anymore." He then took a hit from his vape mod and blew some smoke out. "Aw man, my polish is chipping." Matt mumbled as he took a look at his nails.

"So, Matt. What do you wanna do now?" asked Lincoln.

"When did it start chipping?" Matt asked himself, oblivious to the question just handed to him.

"I know what we can do!" Lincoln explained.

"What?" asked Matt.

"We can head to Dairyland!"

"Yeah, I'm good my dude."

"Well we could read some Ace Savvy comics up in my room if you want." Lincoln suggested.

"You really think Matt wants to read those dumb comics and waste his time?" asked Lynn.

"Beats standing here looking stupid." Matt replied in a monotone voice. Lincoln gave him a deadpan look before ripping the piece of paper off his clothes. "I feel even more stupid." he said.

* * *

Lincoln laid on his bed reading an Ace Savvy comic, while Matt sat up against the wall, reading… an Ace Savvy comic… I'm losing my touch…

"You like Ace Savvy so far?" asked Lincoln.

"This is so confusing." Matt answered honestly. "Who's this shark monster?"

"Oh, that's the Card Shark." Lincoln answered.

"Who? How is he wearing a cape? What is he? Where did he come from?" asked Matt in total confusion.

"That just leaves 'why' and 'when'." Lincoln playfully answered. "I see the problem. You're on Issue #37."

"I just pulled a random comic out of this pile." Matt pointed to a pile next to him.

"Matt, those are fashion magazines." Lincoln corrected him.

"Why was this in the fashion magazine aisle?" Matt asked himself.

"Here. Here's Issue #1. It explains Ace Savvy's origins." Lincoln handed him the comic.

"Can't you just tell me? I'm too lazy to read."

"Fine." Lincoln cleared his throat. "Exposition time! A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away was a planet called Cardton, where a peaceful race known as Cardtinions ruled the land. The King and Queen of the world ruled the land, and kept all evil away from their citizens. One day, they had a baby and named it Spade Nifty. They were the luckiest family in their world. Unfortunately, their luck ran out as a vengeful and violent alien race known as the Gaktins began destroying their planet. Knowing the King and Queen couldn't save their planet, they made the most difficult decision ever… they signed a peace treaty with the Gatkins but apparently the word 'peace' translates to a racist slur to the aliens, making them angrier, and also they accidentally spilled coffee all over their laps. The rules made a second difficult decision. They had to give up their own planet to save themselves from the destruction of their planet. They placed him in a capsule and were about to leave with them until a mugger named Joe Carradine came out of nowhere and shot and killed Spade's parents, but not before his dad hit the eject button, sending him flying away from the now destroyed planet. He also accidentally to hit the 70's trailer music for movies. **(*insert More Than A Feeling here*)**. After hours of flying in space, Spade landed in a distant planet."

"Earth?"

"No, Mars. The Martians took him in his care but they accidentally lost him in a museum where he landed in yet ANOTHER space pod, where he landed in Earth. Kentucky to be exact. A nice old lady found him chewing on some pumpkins in her farm and decided to take care of him. He soon went to school where he met his sidekick, One-Eyed Jack, which was kind of weird since his real name was Shirley. Spade soon grew up and went to college where he became a businessman, but got bored of it and became a detective. There he met a homeless One-Eyed Jack, who dropped out of high school because, in his words, 'I ain't got time for some stupid ass shit learning 'bout some dead ass people in ancient history'. Don't ask me how this got published by the way, I don't have the slightest idea. Anyways, he offered Shirley a place to stay and they soon became roommates, and even bought a cat named Wesley. One day, the two went to go pay some bills where a radioactive, mutant card monster created by the Evil Dr. Thorndyke bit Spade's hand where he soon became the superhero Poker Face!... But then he found that name was already taken by Lady GaGa, so he changed it to Ace Savvy! He recruited Shirley to be his sidekick and he gladly accepted, as long as he didn't have to learn about dead people. He took up the name One-Eyed Jack and the two became superheroes!... Oh yeah and Wesley became their cat butler." Lincoln finished explaining. "And that's how Ace Savvy became Ace Savvy. What do you think?"

"I'm gonna be honest with you, you lost me when mentioned the vengeful alien race." Matt answered.

"Eh, comics aren't for everyone." Lincoln said back.

"I have a question though."

"What is it?"

"Why Spade Nifty?" asked Matt. "Why can't it be like other comic characters? Like the first and last names start with the same letters. Ya know like Bruce Banner, Reed Richards, Sue Storm, Stephen Strange, Otto Octavius, Silver Surfer, Peter Parker, Green Goblin, Fantastic Four, Daredevil, Invincible Iron-Man, Happy Hogan, Curt Connors, Fin Fang Foom, oh yeah and worst of all: J. Jonah Jameson Jr."

"I don't know. That's just how Bill Buck named him." Lincoln shrugged.

"Oh my God, Bill Buck. I fuckin' hate his name." Matt muttered to himself as he facepalmed.

Lincoln's watch then beeped, making him to look at the time. **(I hate this sentence so much.)** "Hey!" he exclaimed. "The new episode of ARGGH! is about to premiere!"

"The new what of what?"

"It's my favorite show. Too bad my sisters are watching the Dream Boat."

"The what what?"

"Maybe I can have them leave the couch so I can watch it."

"What? What? What?" asked Matt.

 **(Sheila Broflovski: WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?!)**

"Nothing comes to mind though." Lincoln said to himself.

A brief pause erupted between the two of them. "Have you tried beating them?"

"Huh?"

Matt stood up and whipped out his belt and folded it. "Ya know. Give them a good ol' fashion ass whoopin'."

"Nah, I've thought about that before. It'll only get me in trouble."

"Damn." Matt said in defeat. "It pains me to see a child go unbeaten."

Lincoln stared at Matt with a disturbed look on his face. "You have serious issues, Matt." he said.

"My daddy was not nice to me." Matt replied. "Well we could go to Plan B."

"What's Plan B?" asked Lincoln.

* * *

The sisters sat on the couch or around it as they watched the Dream Boat on the TV.

 _But, Justin. I love you._

 _Guess what. I don't._

Their vision was blocked when Lincoln and Matt stepped in front of it, much to the girl's annoyance.

"Can you guys move? You're blocking the TV." Lola said.

"I think it's high time that we watch some TV." Matt said.

"Too bad. We're watching the Dream Boat." Lola responded.

"Then you've dealt my hand." Matt suspiciously replied. "This is the last straw. The final countdown. The Coup de Grace. The Big Kahuna. The Six Feet Under! Sleepin' with the fishes- You talkin' to me?! Ah screw it. It's Plan B."

"What's Plan B?" asked Lynn.

"I'm callin' the cops." Matt held up his phone.

"Thought you said you hate cops?" asked Leni.

Matt remained still and silent for a moment as all eyes were all him; his confident expression retaining. "Fuck. They're right." Matt mumbled. "Well, time for Plan C."

"Shouldn't calling the cops be Plan C?" asked Lincoln. "You know. Plan C. Plan Cops?"

Matt looked at Lincoln with a stoic expression for a brief moment of silence. "Shhh. You. Shhh."

"What's Plan C?" asked Leni.

"Can you hurry this up? I wanna know if Tristan is still on!" Luan exclaimed.

 _Sorry, Tristan. You're just not the one for me._

 _I have herpes!_

Matt pulled out his hunting knife and threw it on the table, causing it to stick to it. The girls screamed in response. Afterwards, Matt pulled out a wooden board and grabbed the knife and began carving something into it; grunting while doing it.

"Eh. Eh. Eh! Geh! Almost! There! Apostrophe s. Carry the two." Matt grunted. "Vuala! Bingo! It's done!" Matt slide the wooden board towards the girls, to whom Luan grabbed it as she and the others began examining it. "I created a contract on that wooden board that allows us to use the TV for this moment and as repayment, we will do anything you want for an entire week."

"This is a stick figure." Luan turned the board around to see a crudely drawn stick figure.

Matt and Lincoln remained still for a moment, silencing filling the area.

"You have a Plan D?" asked Leni.

"I can't do Plan D. I'll go to jail for pedophilia and exposure." Matt answered.

"Can we please just have the TV? Please?" begged Lincoln. "The new episode of ARGGH! is about to start and I don't want to miss it."

"Okay, but that doesn't explain why Matt wants the couch." Lori explained.

"It's TV, dude." Matt answered. "I get to do nothing and have something to watch while enjoying it."

"Well too bad. We're literally enjoying our time." Lori said harshly.

"Okay. Okay. How 'bout this. We flip a coin." Matt suggested.

"No. That's stupid." Lana replied.

"Alright, so it's gonna be Lincoln vs Lori." Matt announced. "Lori's heads, cuz that's all she's good for, and Lincoln will be tails." Matt announced, trying to hold in a chuckle.

Even Luan and Luna began laughing, much to Lori's anger. "Stop that!" she told the two, who immediately shut up. "We're not doing the coin thing. It's literally the dumbest suggestion ever."

"That's not fair. You guys always push me off the couch." Lincoln argued.

"Wait! We can push them off the couch?" asked Matt.

"Yeah. But I wouldn't recommend it. There's nine of them. Plus a baby." Lincoln answered.

"I'm not a baby!" Lola and Lana shouted at the same time, with Lily beside them giving them a deadpan look.

"Well we're all out of options so we're probably just gonna stand in front of the TV so you can't enjoy it." Matt said in a mocking tone.

"You better move so I can see if Brandon is still on or I will literally turn you both into human pretzels and then throw you in the trash can because you two are expired!" Lori threatened.

"Wait. Brandon?" Lincoln raised an eyebrow. "He got kicked off last week."

Lori grew a devastated look on her face as she just sat on the couch for a brief moment before walking away.

"I don't wanna watch the Dream Boat anymore." she said as she walked away.

"Oh, come on, Lori. It's just Brandon. He sucks." Lana said as she and the rest of her sisters walked away.

"Yeah. He wasn't even that great of a guy. He cheated on Jessica." Luna said on her way out.

"Jessica was a hag anyways." Lola said off screen.

The only two remaining sisters were Luan and Lynn, whom sat on the couch and chair respectively. "Why are you two still here?" asked Lincoln.

"I have no idea." Luan answered honestly.

"Matt, are you gonna sit down or are you just gonna stand there and look stupid?" asked Lynn.

"Call me stupid one more time and I'm gonna beat yo ass with my belt." Matt replied.

"Stupid." Luan slyly said.

Matt quickly began taking off his belt. "I'm gon' beat yo mothafuckin' ass so hard." he said.

Luan quickly got off the couch and began running upstairs. "If you wanna spank me, you're gonna have to spank me in my room, daddy!" Luan teased.

"Get back here!" Matt shouted as he ran up the stairs.

Lincoln and Lynn looked at the stairs in complete silence, until Lincoln spoke up. "Does Luan have… sexual feelings for Matt?"

"I'm not sure anymore." Lynn answered.

* * *

Matt and Lincoln both sat on the couch, currently watching ARGGH! after his sisters finally left the couch because Lori was devastated that Brandon left the show- I'm running out of ideas, okay? Give me a break. I don't have enough money to pay the rent this month so I'm trying to figure something out.

"I'm still wondering how we managed to get your sisters off the couch." Matt said.

"When you threaten them by giving away spoilers, they turn into sad, sad people."

"Life's a bitch." Matt turned his attention to a cabinet filled with trophies. "Hey, what's that?" he asked as he got up from the couch.

He approached the cabinet and began examining all the trophies. "Oh that?" Lincoln asked. "That's the Loud's Trophy Cabinet. It has all of our trophies. Lynn's sports trophies. Leni's fashion trophies. Lisa nobel prizes. Lana's animal wrestling trophies. The list goes on."

Matt looked down to see an empty case with nothing but dust and Lincoln's own trophy.

"'Most Improved Brother'?... Ouch." Matt said.

"It's the thought that counts." Lincoln reassured him.

"Well, you're lucky. Look at this." Matt handed Lincoln a mug.

"Where did you pull this out from?"

"Nevermind that. Just read the mug."

"'World's Okayest Son'?... Ouch." Lincoln said.

"Yeah. You're 11 and you already have a better life than me. I'm okay while you're improved. You know what Okay is like to Improved? It's like a T-Rex fighting a lion, except the lion has a laser torpedo missile strapped to it's back with heat seeking modules on it and can spit out fire, Snow White. It's not a fair fight."

"Well I may be improved…" Lincoln looked down in sadness. "but I'm still a screw up."

"You and me both, Snow White." he said before the two walked back over to the couch to watch TV.

 _This shit is delicious._

 _Glenn, this is a court order. It says you can't eat shit anymore._

The two sat and continued watching TV, with Matt taking a hit from his vape mod. Lincoln, however, paid no attention to the television, as other things were on his mind.

"Hey, Matt." Lincoln began. "You ever feel like not doing anything."

"I feel like that everyday." Matt answered. "I just want to sit on this couch, watch TV, and not do anything for the whole day. Would be nice if I got paid to do that."

"No, I meant, you know… You don't have any motivation to do the things you love anymore." Lincoln explained in a sad tone.

Matt turned to Lincoln, a serious yet concern expression on his face. "What're you saying, Lincoln?" he asked in a serious tone.

Lincoln sighed. "It's just… All my sisters have something special, something makes them, them. But here I am, having a reward that means nothing to the world. I make up all these plans and they seem to backfire most of the time, and they always end up getting my sisters angry at me. I'm constantly overshadowed by them and I, just once, want to do something so outstanding, extraordinary, but that never seems to be the case. All my sisters know what they want to do and I haven't had the slightest clue what I want. They all have these special talents. Lynn's an athlete, Luna's a rock star, Lisa is smart and she's only 4, and here I am, having no talents whatsoever. What do I do? Read comics in my underwear, play video games. How is that a goal? Face it, Matt. I'm a fraud. Just a huge mistake." Lincoln finished his rant.

Matt stared at the kid, taking his words into his heart, mind, and soul. He couldn't believe what this kid was saying, until a sudden realization hit him. He completely understood what Lincoln was going through.

"Ooooohh." he softly said with a warm smile. "I see. I see." he warmly smiled at him.

"Why can't I just have some sort of talent?" asked Lincoln.

"You do not have talent. Your sisters don't have talents. There is no such thing as talent. You are who you are, from the heart to the soul. There's only one you. No one else can take your place."

"I just don't want to be the black sheep of this family." Lincoln said.

"And you'll always feel that way but you can conquer that feeling by continuing your life with a full spirit, as long as you remember who you are. So, in a way, the feeling will go away, just as long as you always stay true to yourself." Matt placed his arm around Lincoln's shoulder.

"My stomach hurts." Lincoln whispered, grabbing his gut.

"Well, that too will go away in time, Snow White. I know exactly how you're feeling. However, unlike me, you have a chance to be saved from the dark abyss. Things happen for a reason, Snow White. The reason may not happen right then and there. It may take a day, a week, a month, or perhaps years. But, in due time, for whatever reason, it'll come. You just have to be patient. You just have to never forget who you are, because there is only one of you. You are unique. Everyone is unique in their own ways, which is why I said there's no such thing as talent. Because talent doesn't describe a person. A person describes person. Only you can describe yourself, with your own uniqueness. In due time, Snow White, will you learn this. In due time." Matt finished as he hugged the white haired kid.

Lincoln continued to sniffle, but at a sedated pace. He hugged Matt back, the warmth of his body caressing his soul. Never in his life has he felt more relieved to finally express his true feelings. He continued to hug Matt, a smile forming on his face.

"I love you, Matt." he said. "You're the best big brother ever."

Matt's heart skipped a beat as soon as he said that. He looked down at the boy hugging him. "Snow White… I'm just Matt." he said, reassuring Lincoln that he was not part of the family.

"Hey, you two." Lori said from the dining room. The two looked to see the oldest Loud sibling. "Mom and Dad are taking us to that fancy restaurant. You're welcome to come too, Matt."

"I hate fancy stuff." Matt said. "Anyone who owns anything fancy is a narcissistic, arrogant asshole. It's a complete waste of my time anyways. I'm staying here."

"Alright." Lori shrugged. "Lincoln, get your suit ironed."

"Actually, Lori." Lincoln said. "I'm gonna stay here with Matt. It's gonna be more fun with him."

"You sure?" Lori asked, earning a nod from her younger brother. "Alright. I'll be sure to tell Mom and Dad that." she said before walking out the door.

Matt turned to Lincoln. "So, what do you wanna do while they stuff themselves with fake food?"

Lincoln smiled. "I know just the thing." he told him.

* * *

It was around 8:00 when Vanzilla arrived home. The family all went out to a fancy restaurant, even fitted with even fancier dresses… and suit. The family exited Vanzilla and began walking to the door.

"Man, that was good." Lynn said.

"You said it." Lana replied before burping.

"I wonder how Lincoln and Matt are doing?" wondering Rita.

She opened the door as she and the rest of her family walked in. There, a sight befuddled them. The lights were completely out except for some homemade rave lights. In front of them were Lincoln and Matt, shirtless and singing in front of the television, in autotune nonetheless.

 _ **Lincoln:**_ _Things are good!_ _Focus on the good things!_ _Focus on the good things!_ _Life is a highway! We're gonna ride it all night loooong!_

 _Things are good!_ _Focus on the good things!_ _Focus on the good things!_ _World's Greatest Brother, for reals._ _Focus on the good things! Trust me._

 _ **Matt:**_ _Lincoln. I need your help on an adventure. Ah, 'need' is a strong word. We need doorstops but a brick will work too._

 _ **Lincoln:**_ _Thanks, Matt. I love you._

 _ **Matt:**_ _Oh! I'm back baby! Regular Matt! Master of both worlds! Check it out._ _ ***farts***_ _Excuuuuse me._

 _ **Lincoln:**_ _Things are good!_ _Focus on the good things!_ _Focus on the good things!_ _Life is a highway! We're gonna ride it all night loooong!_

 _Things are good!_ _Focus on the good things!_ _Focus on the good things!_ _World's Greatest Brother, for reals._

 _Focus on the good things! Trust me._ _(Break)_ _Focus on the good things! Trust me._ _(Break)_ _Focus on the good things! Trust me._

 _ **Matt:**_ ' _Penis in the foreskin' kind of love._

 _ **Lincoln:**_ _Focus on the good things! Trust me._

 _ **Matt:**_ ' _Penis in the foreskin' kind of love. Weee ooh! Weee ooh!_

 _ **Lincoln:**_ _Things are good! Focus on the good things! Focus on the good things!_

 _ **Matt:**_ _Hahahahaha! Right?_

 _ **Lincoln:**_ _Life is a highway! We're gonna ride it all night loooong!_

 _Things are good!_ _Focus on the good things!_ _Focus on the good things!_

 _ **Matt:**_ _Bwip! Bwip!_

 _ **Lincoln:**_ _World's Greatest Brother, for reals. Focus on the good things! Trust me._

 _Things are good! (_ _ **Matt:**_ ' _Penis in the foreskin' kind of love.)_ _Focus on the good things!_ _Focus on the good things!_ _Life is a highway! We're gonna ride it all night loooong! (_ _ **Matt**_ _:'Penis in the foreskin' kind of love.)_

 _Things are good! (_ _ **Matt:**_ ' _Penis in the foreskin' kind of love.)_ _Focus on the good things!_ _Focus on the good things!_ _World's Greatest Brother, for reals. (_ _ **Matt**_ _: Penis in the foreskin. Penis in the foreskin.)_

 _ **Lincoln:**_ _Focus on the good things! Focus on the good things!_

Matt took a hit from his vape. The family smiled at the two and were happy that Lincoln was at least having fun with Matt, whom had his arm over Lincoln's shoulder.

Luna sniffed the air.

"Man, that fart sure stunk up the place." Luna said.

* * *

Jack the Sparrow held construction plans for a new nest in front of his face. He lowered them down as he looked at a tree. He grinned and nodding before heading to work.

Over the next couple of hours, he worked hard on the new nest he was building, eventually stopping for a coffee break, and then going back to work.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, his new and improved nest was built. Jack threw his hard hat on the ground and flew over to his nest, where he laid inside of it, a relaxed expression on his face. He turned to his side to see a picture of his ex-girlfriend, Jennifer.

He scowled at the photo and knocked it off his nest, almost hitting Charles, whom was peeing on the tree. Jack sighed as he got in a comfortable position and soon fell asleep for the night.

He finally got over with that bitch, Jennifer.

* * *

 **(The song that Matt and Lincoln sung was a parody of the Rick and Morty remix _Good Things_ by Chetreo on YouTube. I simply did a parody of it. Go check out Chetreo on YouTube. Seriously, he makes great dubstep remixes of Rick and Morty and in all honesty, this song actually made my day when I was having a really shitty day.**

 **Edit: I had to frickin' replace this chapter over and over again because FanFiction can't do simple lyric format and it pisses me off. So I decided to put them into sentences and I still got this double space bullpoop. So... FanFiction, fix this format.)**


	13. Family Bondings: Lucy

**(Big thanks to sthompson1 for helping get ideas for these chapters. Ya know, I'm gonna be honest with ya, he's helped me with all these chapters. I'm just too damn stupid and forgetful to thank him. So as of this now, this is a thanks for helping me out with the entire story. Each and every chapter is here because of this guy. Go check him out and read his** _ **A Very Loud Summer**_ **fanfic if you love crazy, wacky, adventures that'll butter your eggroll, or tickle you sideways, or makes you help your stressed out son with school so you go and take him out for ice cream and tell him that everything is alright and that he can do it because MY FATHER NEVER DID ANY OF THAT! HE ALWAYS WANTED ME TO BECOME A DOCTOR OR A LAWYER! BUT THE MINUTE I SAID, 'Dad, I want to create movies,' HE PRACTICALLY JUST LOST INTEREST IN ME! HE NEVER LOVED ME! HE NEVER CALLED ME 'KIDDO' OR 'SON'! HE WAS ALWAYS TOO BUSY FOR ME, WITH HIS STUPID COMPUTER WORK! ALL I WANTED WAS TO HAVE SOME FATHER/SON QUALITY TIME WITH MY FATHER AND HE- ahem…**

… **Sorry about that. I uh… I had a rough childhood…**

 **But seriously. Go check out sthompson1. He's a great guy who makes even greater stories… or is that kind of insulting. Let's just say this: He's a great guy with equally great stories, but both him and his stories are greater than great so he's a greater guy with equally greater stories- no, that also sounds insulting. Whatever, ya know what I mean. Go check him out. He's awesome… Well, not in that way as you would check out a woman in a strip club- I'm gonna stop talking now.)**

* * *

Jack slept soundly in a bed in his nest, as other birds began chirping. He suddenly shot his eyes open, a big smile on his face. He quickly got out of his bed and a montage of his morning routine began.

He began brushing his teeth, before taking a shower, but then he screamed as you guys saw him but nekked (the hell's wrong with ya?), before eating his breakfast while reading the newspaper.

He quickly put on a suit and a fedora, before grabbing his suitcase. He straightened his tie as he cleared his throat and flew away to his new work… which was across the street.

As soon as he landed on the patch of grass across the street, he threw his suitcase away and ripped off his clothes before pecking at the ground, with other birds around him.

"Sup?" asked a friendly sparrow.

Jack smiled and waved at him, before going back to pecking the ground for worms.

* * *

Meanwhile, inside the Loud house, Matt was currently taking a piss in the restroom. He held his penis in one hand while his free hand just swayed back and forth. A painful expression was all over his face as he pee'd. Finally, after a moment, he zipped up his zipper and flushed the toilet.

He turned around to see Lucy standing there behind him.

"Hey." she said in her usual montoned voice.

Matt, however, was unfazed by her. "What're you doing in the restroom?" asked Matt in a deadpan tone. "I was takin' a piss and you just peeked in here. Isn't that, ya know, violation of one's privacy?"

"Not when the door's open."

Matt turned to see the widely opened door. "It's a habit of mine. Sorry."

He walked over to the sink and began washing his hands. "You know today is my turn to bond with you."

"You're saying like that's a bad thing. Not that I blame you. I'm not the kind of person people want to hang out with me."

"I was hoping we could perform a seance today." Lucy suggested.

Matt dried his hands on the towel rack. "Isn't that when you call ghosts from heaven and ask what's up?"

"Kind of." Lucy replied. "Seance is when we communicate with the spirits and the dead."

Matt turned to her. "That's what I just said." he told her. Lucy continued staring at him, creeping him out. "Please stop staring. I'm afraid you're looking through my clothes."

"No, that's Luan's wish."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Well, when do you want to perform this seance?" asked Matt.

"I was hoping later on today, in the dining room." Lucy responded. "But, I also want to write some poetry with you. Two mortals sharing a common bond with that of poetry. It makes the dead jealous."

Matt looked away from her, unsure how to responde. "Sssssssssssokaaaaaaaay." he slowly said.

"Wicked." Lucy replied in her usual monotone voice. "We can write them in my room if you want."

"I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm not good at writing. Let alone poetry. I'm not good with rhyming and all that so I know for sure I'd make a terrible rap artist."

"We could ask Lincoln for rhymes." Lucy suggested.

"Or we could just search them up on the internet." Lucy remained quiet for a brief moment. "Please don't do that."

"I haven't thought about that option before." Lucy said. "Just this one time will we use the computer for rhymes."

"Or, my phone." Matt held up his phone.

"Wicked."

"I said stop staring at me."

* * *

Lucy and Matt sat on Lucy's bed, notebooks in their hands. "In order to write a poem, you need inspiration." Lucy explained. "What is the most desirable thing you have?"

"A will to live?" asked Matt.

"Dang it. That one was mine."

"Oh. You wanna switch?"

"No, it's fine." The two began talking over each other.

"'Cuz, I'm willing to switch if that's what you want."

"No, it's your own desirable thing."

"You can have it if you want. I have other options."

"I should probably choose something else anyways."

"It's not really my thing."

"You have very pretty nail polish."

"Well I like your hair."

"It covers my eyes so people won't see into my soul."

"My hair is just constantly messy and dirty."

"But it also covers my own eyes so it allows me to see into other people's souls."

"I haven't brushed it in years since my parents never really allowed this sort of side with me."

"I can tell you have deep pain inside your tortured, scarred soul."

"They also don't support my gay thoughts."

"Huh?" Lucy asked, the two stopped talking over each other.

"What?" asked Matt.

The two sat in silence for a brief moment. "Alright, so let's get started with our poems. Shall we begin" Lucy asked.

"I don't have a pen." Matt replied.

"You're sitting on it." Lucy replied in a more deadpan tone then normal.

Matt sat up, reaching underneath his butt and grabbed his pen. "Oh. Thanks, Creeper."

"Sigh. You're welcome." Lucy replied.

* * *

After thirty or so minutes passed by, the two were finally ready to with their poems. "I finished mine. How about yours?" asked Lucy.

Matt nervously looked at her. "Yeah?" he questionably asked with a thumbs up.

"We should show your skills to the others. I'm almost certain they would like it."

"Uhh…" was all Matt said.

The two exited the room and began heading down the stairs, where the rest of the siblings were sitting on the couch, watching TV.

"Hello, siblings." Lucy said, scaring everyone.

"AAAH!" they all screamed at once.

"Me and our foster brother have written some poems. Would you like to hear?" asked Lucy.

"Sure, Luce." Lincoln said.

Lucy and Matt stepped in front of the TV, with Matt having a very uncomfortable look on his face.

"My poem is called _Matt_." Lucy cleared her throat.

 _Matt. A depressed soul,_

 _Who lives like a mole._

 _His scared childhood,_

 _Is anything but good._

 _He hides his pain through sarcasm,_

 _Has no scent of enthusiasm._

 _His rings are oh so valuable,_

 _As with his polish, which he says is irreplaceable._

 _He's not like any other guy,_

 _He's invisible to the naked eye._

 _But that doesn't matter,_

 _Because his compassion is like cake batter._

 _He looks like a girl, but he doesn't care,_

 _Because his happiness, is oh so spare._

 _His hair moves with the wind,_

 _Even though it's color is severely dimmed._

 _Matt. A tortured child,_

 _Who is not very wild._

 _I still love him like no other,_

 _Because he's just a second brother._

Lucy stopped and looked at the group. "What did you think?" she asked.

The entire group were sniffling, tears falling from their eyes. "That was literally the most beautiful piece of art I have ever heard in my entire life."

"I promised myself I wouldn't cry." Luna said.

"I didn't." Leni said back, before breaking down and crying.

Lucy turned to Matt, whom was staring right at her. "What did _you_ think, Matt?"

Matt looked away, unable to comprehend on what he just heard. "Uh… it was great." Matt faked a smile. "So great that people won't have to hear mine. So, let's go."

"No, I want to hear yours." Lincoln said through some sniffles.

Luan sniffed. "Me too." she added.

"Son of a-" Matt mumbled. "Uh, ya know. I don't think my poem is really all that great."

"Just read the poem." Lori demanded.

Matt gulped as he looked down at his paper. "She suck on my willy. It's quite delightful. If I catch you in West Gloucestershire, you'll catch the rifle." Matt read.

He turned to see the reactions from the group, which were basically just confused expressions. "Huh?" asked Lori.

"'She suck on my willy?'" quoted Luna.

"At least he was child friendly." Lincoln tried to brighten the mood.

"Is that all you wrote?" asked Lynn.

"No, he has a few more. I can see." Lucy said, peeping over his paper.

Matt pulled back the paper so she couldn't see it. "I'm not reading them." Matt said.

"Fine, I'll read them." Leni announced as she walked up and grabbed the paper from his hand. "Ahem. Good evening Twitter, this is ya boi EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the fuck out of my dick so goddamn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point that it feels fucking weird when I go and take a piss." Leni finished.

Now the group had wide eyes and gaped mouths. Matt pinched his nose and tightly shut his eyes in embarrassment.

"That was awful!" Luna shouted.

"I know right. It didn't even rhyme." Leni said.

"Fuck. Oh fuck. Why the fuck did it have to be her. I am so fucked." Matt whispered out loud.

"Why did you write that?" asked Lori, sternly.

"I got bored! I didn't know what to write!" Matt explained loudly. "I mean, half the page is just filled with doodles and stick figures!" He grabbed the piece of paper from Leni. "See!" The paper was filled with dragons, explosions, and stick figures.

"Wow. He even draws stick figures well." Lynn said aloud in astonishment.

"Told you I'm not good at poetry." Matt told Lucy, who innocently smiled.

* * *

"Sigh." Lucy said. "It appears that you aren't fit into the world of poetry."

"Sorry?" asked Matt questionably.

"No need to be sorry." Lucy reassured him. "The normal mortals of this planet just don't seem to understand me. I'm always ignored by my siblings and sometimes I feel left out."

"What are you? Emo?" asked Matt.

Lucy hissed at the word. "I am no emo, Matthew."

"It's Matt." he corrected.

"Emos are nothing but posers and wannabes. Not to mention conformists. I hate conformists almost I had emos." Lucy said with a little hint of anger in her voice. "Emo's darkness are nihilistic while goth's are cynical. Emos cut themselves while we goths cut others. They're always, 'Woah is me.' while us goths are, 'Woah is this dread ridden world.' Emos are all about themselves. They think their lives suck whereas goths thinks the world sucks. They walk the planet obeying the law, just like a conformist and even then they are bad at it. They're just posers and wannabe conformists."

Matt continued to sit on the bed while staring at Lucy with a blank expression. "Care to explain that one more time."

"Sigh. What's the point? You're just going to forget it all over again." Lucy said.

"Yeah, you're right."

"Groan."

"I'd probably would forget it. Now that that's out of the way, we have a bigger question on our hands."

"What's that?'

"Why is there a bat hanging on top of your bed?!" he exclaimed as he pointed upwards.

Lucy turned around as she looked up to see that her pet bat, Fangs, was hanging upside down over her bed. His eyes opened as he screeched, clearly disturbed that Matt woke him up. He spread out his wings as he flew all over Matt's face.

He screamed, trying to swipe away the bat, until he fell off the bed. He quickly got up as he opened the door but fell down.

"Wait. Hold on! We can talk about this!" Matt told Fangs, as if the bat understood what he was saying.

He began crawling away but ended up falling down the stairs. He caused so much of a ruckus, that the Loud siblings stopped watching their TV to see Matt tumbling down the stairs. "AAAAAAAHH!" he yelled as he fell down the stairs.

However, to Matt, pain was unnoticeable, as he turned around to see Fangs flying closer to him than ever. "This bat has gone batty!" Matt shouted. "Where's the robin?!" Matt began crawling away until he made the mistake of looking back.

He saw Fangs diving on him, an audible crunching sound could be heard.

"AAAH! AAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Matt's girlish screams could be heard from outside the house as the siblings simply stared at Matt.

* * *

Matt sat on Lucy's bed, an irritated look on his face as band aids covered his forehead and his arms; Lucy was right by his side, applying another band aid to his cheek.

"Sorry about that." Lucy told Matt. "Fangs forgot to eat breakfast today."

"Glad to know I'm a blood donor." Matt sarcastically said.

"You know, you could make a great goth."

"How so?"

"Well all you need is some black clothing and you should be good to go. I would call you my twin if we were related to each other."

"Lucy, I'm nothing like you."

"How so? We both have a gloomy attitude."

"I'm not gloomy." Matt told her. "I'm severely depressed and I only found that out recently. I have scars on my soul that run deep, unhealed scars I might add. My life is just a complete mess, filled with misery and despair, and even torture, self torture as well. I honestly hate my life and I would trade it for the world just to get rid of it. There were at times where I just wanted to end it all, but I couldn't. I was too afraid. I was weak. Now here I am, still living in this god forsaken life that has caused me nothing but pain and chaos amongst me. I have no friends, no family, and worst of all, I don't have a will to live anymore. I don't think I can keep on living like this and sooner or later, I might meet my untimely demise. Soon, my pain and suffering will end I will finally be in peace, but until that day, it's just another slice of hell for me."

Lucy, through her bangs, stared at Matt in shock and bewilderment. A sharp sense of silence filled the entire air around them, not one of them saying a word.

"Please do not think such dark and inhuman thoughts." Lucy told Matt. "You're sounding like a emo. You do not want to become those wannabe posers."

Matt gave her a stoic look.

"Alright, I get it. You hate emos." Matt said to her. "Don't have to keep repeating it."

"Sorry. They really get underneath my skin. Kind of like how Edwin does, but less enjoyable."

"I'm not even gonna ask who's Edwin."

A bust of Edwin was pushed into his face. "This is Edwin." Lucy showed him. "He's a vampire in my favorite TV show: The Vampires of Melancholia. He is my soulmate." Lucy began hugging the bust.

"Yeah, well my favorite South Park character is Butters, but you don't see me making a statue out of him and then making out with it." Matt deadpanned replied.

"He's not a statue, he's a bust." Lucy corrected.

"Same thing."

"It really isn't."

"Look, my point is that it's kind of… creepy, that you think a dead guy is your soulmate."

"Not dead…" Lucy got real close Matt, whom immediately became uncomfortable. "Undead." she said in a low, eerie whisper.

Matt blinked gaining his usual stoic facial expression. He slightly pushed Lucy with the tip of his index finger to her nose. "Riiiiiiiight." he skeptically replied. "Kind of like how a step ladder and a ladder aren't the same thing, yet they're both used to get up on really high places… plus they're ladders. I don't care what the name of it or if they're undead or dead or not, it's just creepy."

"You think it's creepy, I think it's an immortal romance."

"Yeah. Okay." Matt rolled his eyes. He looked down to see something sticking from underneath her bed. "Hey, what's this?"

Lucy looked down to see the object sticking from underneath her bed. "Oh, that's my coffin."

"Why do you have a coffin?" he asked. Lucy opened her mouth. "Don't answer that." He jumped off the bed and pulled the coffin out. "Is this thing real?"

"Definitely." she answered.

Matt opened the coffin and felt the cushions inside. "This feels comfortable."

"Hey, you wanna play a prank on the family?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm good my dude." Matt replied.

"You get to experience death."

"Jesus Christ! I said I wanted to die! I didn't say I wanted a slow and painful death!" he scolded her.

"That's the same thing. Besides, you aren't going to die. You're just going to experience it."

"Isn't that the same?"

Lucy smiled wickedly. "Maybe." she deviously said. Afterwards, she grabbed what appears to be a tarp underneath her bed. "We can use this. I don't want to get my coffin dirty. I sleep in it sometimes."

"Of course." Matt rolled his eyes. "What is that? Is that a tarp?"

Lucy looked up at him. "You think this is a tarp?" she asked as he began unfolding it.

"Well yeah. Ya know. A tarp to put over your truck for when it rains a lot." Matt explained.

She unfolded it, finally revealing what it was. Matt eyes widened as the realization hit him.

"It's a body bag." Lucy told him.

"It's a body bag!" Matt exclaimed at the same time. "This is like one of those things you never thought you would need but when you need it, you're glad that you have it." Matt explained. "Everybody should have one of these."

Lucy kept unfolding it while he talked. "Alright, Matt. Get in." she told him.

"Why?" asked Matt.

"Get in."

"Why?"

"We got to see if this works."

"Why?" Matt asked once more.

"Get in it." Lucy ordered.

"Why do I have to be the one to get in the body bag?" he asked her, clearly against the idea.

"Haven't you ever wondered-"

"No!" Matt interrupted her.

"-if I die-"

"No!"

"-this is what I'll be in?"

"No!"

"Please get in." she asked politely.

"I'm not getting in the body bag!" he shouted.

"I'll pay you $30." Lucy offered.

"I'm not doing this for money!"

"But you said you would."

"Yeah! Well- I lied!" Matt admitted.

"Please, Matt." Lucy begged. "Think of the reaction the family would have to see you in this body bag."

"How is that gonna make me get in it?"

"Just get in it."

Matt groaned as he got down on his knees. He knew it was inevitable and that it was pointless to argue with a kid. He laid inside it as Lucy handed him a walkie talkie. "You can use this to communicate to me through the dead."'

"Thank you. This really calms me down." Matt sarcastically replied as Lucy zipped up the body bag.

She opened the door as she dragged Matt out into the hallway. Since she was just a kid, she was having trouble getting anywhere. However, she still managed to drag him, although Matt wasn't helping since he kept squirming. She approached the stairs and began descending down it. Matt groaned as his legs hit the steps.

The other siblings looked up at the commotion on the stairs. There they saw Lucy dragging the body bag with Matt in it.

Unfortunately, for both Lucy and Matt, the goth girl lost her grip as Matt tumbled down the stairs… again.

"Whoops." she said.

"What's going on?" asked Lincoln.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Matt's muffled scream could be heard. He began squirming inside the body bag, kicking his legs up into the air. "Get me out of here!" he shouted.

Lucy walked up to the bag and unzipped. "Holy fire!" she exclaimed. "It's so hot in there."

"How do you think I feel?!" Matt shouted as he exited the body bag. "This was the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas! Why couldn't we do this outside?"

"I hadn't thought of it." Lucy admitted.

Matt grabbed the body bag and dragged it into the dining room, where he would exit the house through the kitchen. Lucy's siblings stared at her in confusion. "We're planning to bury him alive. It was going to be a prank but I guess it's ruined."

"Lucy, you have a lot to learn about pranks." Luan told her. "You'd be caught _dead_ if you used that kind of amateur technique. Hahahahaha! Get it?" she asked, as everyone groaned.

"Holy crap! It's so hot outside! It's gonna be like an oven in this body bag!" Matt shouted from outside.

* * *

Lucy and Matt entered the kitchen, with Matt covered in dirt and an extremely annoyed expression on his face.

"Like I said," Matt began. "Worst idea in the long history of bad ideas."

"It was worth a shot." Lucy said innocently.

"Yeah, well you completely missed the shot and instead hit the neighbor." Matt sarcastically replied.

"It's almost dinner time." Lucy said. "We should be able to perform a seance. **(Is that right grammar?)** We can do it in the dining room."

"Yeah, okay." Matt replied, uninterested. "Just let me get some dirt out of my mouth."

He then began throwing up dirt onto the kitchen floor. Right at that exact moment, Lisa came walking in with a book in her face, unaware of the vomit on the floor. Unfortunately for her, she slipped and fell, with the book landing on top of her face.

"Huh." she said. "Did not know that Velociraptors are much more smaller and even sported feathers than those depicted in Jurassic Park. You learn something new everyday."

"I learned that I'm close to having a crisis in my life." Matt sarcastically said.

* * *

Matt and Lucy sat at the dining room table, sitting across from each other, a ouija board in front of them, and several candles around them; Lucy and Matt held each other's hands.

"You ready to contact the dead, Matt?" asked Lucy.

"Why are your hands so cold and clammy?" asked Matt.

"Just like my soul." Lucy replied. "Alright, turn off your phone."

Matt grabbed his phone and quickly turned it off. "Phone, off." he said.

"Good. Now let's begin." she said. The two joined hands once more. "I'd like to thank each and every one of you-"

"But there's only two of us." Matt said to himself.

"-for joining us to greet the spirits of the afterlife. Let us pray that, unfortunately, no evil spirits shall join us during this seance. We only ask for well-intentional spirits to join us tonight. Now let us bring forth, Matt's uncle… What's your uncle's name?"

"Ben." Matt replied.

"Matt's uncle Ben."

"I get it!" Lincoln shouted from the other room.

"Uncle Ben, we gather here tonight in hope that we'll receive a sign of your presence. Please feel welcome in our circle and join us when you're ready."

The two sat in silence for a moment, not saying a word. "Is he here?" asked Matt.

"Ask and see."

"Uh, uncle Ben, are you here?" asked Matt. Almost immediately, he was punched off his chair. "OW!" he shouted. "Yeah, he's here." he groaned.

"Dear Matt's uncle, did you die of old age?" Lucy asked. "Matt, get up so we can decipher your uncle's message."

"Lucy, I already know how he died." Matt said, popping his head from behind the table.

"I don't and I wish to know."

Matt groaned; he sat back up on the chair and placed his finger on the triangle piece. "What's this thing called by the way?" he asked.

"The planchette." Lucy answered.

"Ew." Matt said in disgust as he stuck out his tongue.

"Matt's uncle, I ask again: Did you die of old age?"

"This is pointless." Matt said.

The triangle slowly moved towards the word 'no'. "No?!" Matt asked out of disbelief. "I thought you did!" Matt shouted.

"Were you murdered?" asked Lucy.

The triangle began moving to the word 'yes'. "Yes?!" Matt asked out of disbelief.

"What was the name of the murderer?" asked Lucy. The triangle began moving once more. "A-C-A-R-J-A-C-K-E-R… A carjacker?"

"A carjacker?!" Matt asked out of disbelief. "Was I lied to this entire time!?" The piece began moving to the word 'yes'. "Yes?!" Matt asked out of disbelief. "Okay, this is getting redundant. Hey! Are you really my uncle Ben? If so, give me a message!" Once again, he was punched off his seat. "OW!" he shouted.

"Matt's uncle Ben, do you know anyone by the name of Harriet Loud?" asked Lucy. The piece slowly slid to the word 'no'. "Dang it. Would've been nice if our families were connected somehow."

"Are we done?" asked Matt. "I wanna go take a shower."

"Sigh. Yes. We are done." Lucy told him.

"Thank Christ." Matt mumbled. "Bye uncle Ben."

Once again, he was punched to the ground.

"Thank you, Matt's uncle for joining us tonight. We hope you visit soon. Have a nice afterlife." Lucy politely said before blowing out the candle.

She got up from her chair and walked passed Matt, whom was groaning while laying on the floor. She walked over to the light switch and turned it on.

"Thank you Matt for joining me today." Lucy thanked.

"You're welcome." Matt groaned as he got up. "Never really did care about my uncle anyways."

Matt braced himself.

"If you don't mind me, may I ask you something?" asked Lucy.

"Uh, sure." Matt replied.

Lucy sat down as Matt took a seat next to her. "I've experienced death before. By that I mean I talk to the dead. I talk to Great Grandma Harriet all the time but there's always been one thing in my dark mind that I could never figure out."

"What is it?" asked Matt.

"Why do good people die?" Lucy finally asked.

Matt blinked, caught off guard by the sudden, serious question. "Well…" he began. "Which flowers do you pick in the garden?"

"If I was a normal girl, which I'm not, I would pick the best ones." Lucy answered.

"There you go." was all Matt said.

The goth girl remained silent for a moment. "I don't get it." she said.

Matt sighed. "Your parents should be explaining this to you." he said to himself. "Good people die for… numerous of reasons. They may not be good reasons nor do they may not make sense but… Everything happens for a reason. Whether the reason happens tomorrow or in 30 years, it still happens. Nothing happens just because it happened. Sometimes good people die because they're ready to die. They lived life the fullest and are now ready for the afterlife. Only the Lord knows who will die because he chooses our fates and when it's time for our fate, he steps down from the steps of heaven and takes our spirits into the afterlife, whether you're ready or not. My point is, kid, that people die the same reason we breathe: Because we have to." Matt finished.

Lucy looked at him through her bangs, taking his words into her blackened heart.

"Alright, now that this talk is over, I'm gonna hit the shower." he grunted as he got up to head to the bathroom.

Lucy merely watched him leave.

* * *

Matt rubbed some soap into his armpit as shampoo laid on top of his wet hair. At that moment, the curtain opened behind him; Luan popped her head inside the shower behind Matt, a sly expression on her face.

"Room for one more?" she seductively asked.

Matt shot his eyes wide opened as a disturbed look took over his face.

* * *

Jack flew back to his nest, a huge smile on his face. He laid down on his nest, getting ready to head for a good night's sleep. It wasn't until he saw something that made him shoot his eyes wide open. There, in the distance, was Jason the Falcon perched on top of a neighboring roof. He glared daggers at Jack, who gulped in fear.

* * *

 **(I'm not even lying, my actual uncle is named Ben... that is, until he and the rest of my family left without me... Well... Who needs 'em anyway?...**


	14. Family Bondings: Lana

**(Again, big thanks to sthompson1 for the help. Check out his stories or I'll crawl through your window.**

 **Ya know that feeling you get in your stomach when you see a very pretty girl? Well I accidentally smacked a child in a grocery store while I was grabbing some hamburger meat. Dude came outta nowhere.**

 **Do you know what the M-97 flamethrower sounds like? It roars like a dragon, a fiery god purging everything in his path, hold down that trigger and the whoosh drowns out everything else, focus on the noise and you can almost convince yourself you don't hear the screams. By the time the tank is empty, everything's over, even the men are quiet. There's nothing but the crackling of burning thatch. You see, it's not the noise that keeps me awake at night, it's the silence.)**

* * *

Jack sorted through his bird mail, tossing out bills to his nest, scam letters, a subscription to Bird's Nest Monthly, an angry letter from Jason, an envelope containing stickers. Jack's eyes widened as he realized what he just threw out; he turned around and bent down to grab Jason's letter.

He pecked it and ripped the top open before grabbing the letter. He opened it up and began reading the letter, which read:

dEAR JacK:

U HAv wat i wAnt. coME MEET ME and JEnNifer in PEtOSKEy in a WEEk, or elSE BiRD foOd nO mORe.

luv jASOn

Jack gulped after reading the letter.

* * *

Matt lazily sat on the couch watching whatever crap was on TV… like he always does.

 _Am I glad he's frozen in there and that we're out here and that he's the sheriff and that we're frozen out here and that we're in there and- I just remembered! We're out here. What I want to know is where's the caveman?_

Matt stood up from the couch and began walking towards the dining room. He entered the room to see Luan reading a magazine while an unopened soda rested next to her.

"Hey, Luan." he greeted. "Whatchu you reading?" he asked.

Luan turned to Matt. "I'm not reading anything." she answered him. "I'm looking at this new prank prop in this catalog." She showed him said catalog. "It's the Spring Loaded Dick Bomb. It pops open dick shaped confetti _cum_ out of the _tip_." She began laughing at her own dirty joke. "I've been wanting this for some time, ya know to use it in school."

"Who in the hell thought it was a good idea to make dick shaped confetti?" asked Matt. "...Oh yeah. It's 2018. I forgot."

"It's pretty damn expensive." Luan told him.

"It's only $20!" Matt exclaimed. "That's not expensive. Expensive is like, 500 grand."

"For a prank prop?" Luan asked.

"No, in general. Why not ask your parents?"

"What am I supposed to ask them? 'Hey Mom and Dad, can I buy this prank toy that shoots out dick shaped confetti to use at school?'" she sarcastically replied.

"That's your problem." Matt told her. "You're giving out too much information. You have to lie to them. Just ask them if you can head to the store to buy something. Like, I dunno, what's the second thing you want?'

"To have sex with you." Luan mumbled under her breath.

"What was that?" Matt asked, not hearing the comment.

"A new costume for Mr. Coconuts." she casually replied.

"Well then head to the mall or store or whatever, and get the costume AND the dick prop. Then you hide the prop in a place, could be in your clothes or the costume in general, so that your parents don't see it." Matt explained.

"I'm not lying to my parents." Luan told him sternly.

"Well then good luck with dick props 'cuz that's honestly the best way to get it without getting caught." Matt told her.

"I'll just save up and I'll buy it."

"Yeah. Again, good luck. That might take a while." Matt harshly replied. "You seem to be stuck on the opinion that lying is wrong. You need to stop being such a wuss and just go for it. I mean, what'll happen that you lied: You get grounded? That may be bad now but will it affect your life? No. Because one grounding doesn't determine your fate. Being honest is for pussies and it gets you nowhere, Luan. You really think that if you follow the rules and obey the law that you'll be rewarded with good shit? It's a scam, Luan. Life's a scam. It promises you that you'll get all this nice shit if you do the right things but that doesn't guarantee that you won't get nice shit if you do the _wrong_ thing as well. Being honest is only one way to get what you want. If you really want something, just take it. Simple as that."

Matt took Luan's unopened can of soda and opened it before drinking it all; he burped before throwing the can behind him, not caring if it landed on the floor.

"You see what I did there?" he asked her. "I just took your soda and drank it. Why? Because I can. I don't give a *belch* shi-i-it about anything anymore. I've seen what life has to offer. I've seen how *belch* li-i-ife works and I'm not really interested in it because I just don't give a fuck about my life. I don't really care what happens to me. All I ask is that it's fast and painless."

"You know, you can be a real asshole sometimes, Matt." Luan told him.

"Only when I want to." Matt replied to her. "Jesus. I felt like Rick when I drank that soda. I began burping mid sentence. I'm sorry if that disgusted you. But you get my point? If you really want something, just take it."

"Are you telling me to _steal_ the dick prop?" asked Luan, a little frightened.

"What? No! I'm telling you that you don't need your parent's permission to get what you want. You're how old?" he asked her.

"14."

"You have 4 more years before you become an adult. Until then, you need to start learning how to buy the shit you want on your own. That's how queens work. Queen it up, bitch."

"Oho. I like it when you call me that." Luan seductively replied.

"Luan, not now." Matt sternly told her

"Sorry." she quickly apologized.

"There's a lot of good and bad people out there, Luan, no one is born good or bad. There's just stereotypes and people… and stereotypes. Nothing more and nothing less. That and creepy uncles that always show up in Thanksgiving dinners. You need to steer clear away from them and if they bring you to the bedroom, you get the fuck out of there." Matt explained.

He turned around to head into the kitchen where he came out a moment later, an ice cold soda in his hand; he opened it and placed it next to Luan.

"Here, it's the least I can do."

"You want a sip?" she asked.

"Nah, I already had one."

"I insist, take a sip."

"Luan, you aren't getting an indirect kiss from me. If you want to kiss me, just ask." Matt told her with a stoic look.

Luan remained seated in place for a moment as silence filled the area. "Can I kiss you?"

"Not now. I gotta take a shit." Matt said before walking out the room.

Luan banged her fist on the table. "Damn!" she exclaimed.

* * *

Matt laid on top of the Loud house roof, enjoying a nap while the sun's rays gently touched his skin and body. It wasn't until someone called out his name that caught his attention.

"Matt!" someone shouted from below. Matt slowly opened his eyes before looking over the roof; he saw Lana below staring at him. "Matt!" she called out.

"What?" he asked loudly.

"Come down here! I want to show you something!"

"I don't want to see a somersault or a cartwheel or whatever you kids do these days." Matt said to her.

"Cartwheels? Somersaults? Nah, that's Lynn's thing." she told him. "I want to show you your motorcycle!"

This caught Matt's attention. "I swear, if you scratched up that paint, I'm gonna-... Well, I'm gonna do something bad but not that bad because you're a child and I don't want to get arrested for child abuse." Matt improvised.

He jumped off the roof where he landed on the ground, doing a roll to break his fall. He followed Lana to the garage, where she was eager to show him what she had in store for him.

"So what is it you want to show me?" he asked, clearly peeved his nap was interrupted.

"What do you see?" Lana asked.

Matt looked in front of him to see his motorcycle. "My motorbike."

"Actually it's a motorcycle-"

"Same thing! What is it I'm suppose to see?"

"I see a prototype of a new and improved motorcycle."

"All I see is a hunk of junk that barely has any use for me anymore." Matt replied in a stoic expression.

"Then why keep it?" asked Lana.

"Because I lost control of my life and I have no way of getting it back." Matt replied. "I don't see anything wrong with it. It doesn't really need to be improved. It still works fine." As if on cue, his whole motorcycle broke apart, as parts landed on the ground. Matt still kept his stoic expression on his face. "Please kill me." he said in one breath, clearly tired of his life.

"You need to stop being such a Debbie Downer and turn that frown upside down." Lana told him. "Now, let's customize this bike of yours."

"You can just repair it. I don't need anymore customizations than there already is." Matt took another look at his broken motorcycle. "Or 'was'." he corrected himself. He turned to the young plumber. "You even have the tools for this?"

Lana pulled out a toolbox and opened it up, revealing a whole bunch of tools and gadgets. "Never leave home without it. Now, let's work on this baby."

"You're too young to even- oh, you meant the motorcycle."

"What did you think I meant?" Lana asked, oblivious on what the young adolescent actually meant.

"You'll learn when you're older." Matt responded.

* * *

It's been almost two hours and already the motorcycle was back in tip top shape.

"Alright." Lana began. "Now that we fixed up your bike, all that is left are the upgrades."

"I already told you, I'm fine with it already." Matt told her. "I just need this fixed so I can get to places faster. I don't need any upgrades. They're gonna be pretty useless if I don't use them."

"Nah, we're talking engine upgrades, brake upgrades, all that to make your motorcycle better and faster."

"You think you can make it extra fast?" asked Matt.

"You bet I can." Lana confidently replied. "Why? You wanna impress some chicks when you show them how fast your hot shot ride can go?"

"No, so I can crash into cars and hopefully kill myself." Matt nonchalantly replied.

Lana grew wide eyes in shock as she tried her best to avoid eye contact. "Yeeeeeeaaaaaaah. We'll hold off on the engine upgrade. The best I can give you is an EMS Upgrade Level 3. A Level 4 might make your wishes come true. What current level is your motorcycle?" she asked.

"Level 2." Matt replied.

"That's good. That means I don't have to work on it that much." Lana said to herself. "What kind of brakes do you have?"

"Street brakes. The most average, everyday brakes out there." he answered. "You planning to use Sport or Race?"

"Race of course. That way you can stop faster before you hit any cars."

"Dang it." Matt said, clearly disappointed. "Well, I might as well give you the information on my bike. As you can see I have a tank and speedo, regular mirrors and lights, and street transmission." Matt explained.

"Hm. That means we'll have to put in a custom aerotank, chrome mirrors to make it look cool as well, custom handlebars to fit your grip, replace the regular street lights with xenon lights, place a tracker and a full coverage for in case if your bike gets lost or stolen, a sissy bar, heh sissy, replace your rear seat, if you want we can respray the bike if you want a different design."

"No thanks. I'm fine with the white, flaming ghost pattern." Matt declined.

"Well then we'll upgrade the transmission into a race one, and we'll skip out on the turbo." Lana explained. "And that should do it. I have the parts and tools to upgrade this bike and you'll be getting chicks in no time."

"I'm not into chicks." Matt replied.

"No, silly, I meant-"

"I know what you meant. I'm just not into girls." Matt told her.

"Oooooohh. I see." Lana said. "You go the other way. Totally understandable."

"No, I meant I'm _not into chicks_. I don't like romance. Waste of my time." Matt explained. "Besides, who would go out with a guy who looks like... this!" Matt waved to his entire body.

"You just pointed to all of you." Lana said.

"My point exactly. Why waste time with women who don't love you no more and begin cheating on you. Women are nothing but nagging hogs that do nothing but gossip behind your back and get all moody for no reason… No offense."

"Some taken." Lana replied, glaring at Matt. "Let's just work on this baby, alright."

"Please stop saying that."

* * *

Lana used the wrench to tighten a bolt, with Matt by her side, chewing gum.

"Alright, now I need something to hold this spark plug in temporarily. I'll have to get the right parts to plug it in." Lana told him. "But I don't know what I can-..." Lana turned to Matt whom was still chewing his gum.

"Spit." she told him, holding out her hand. Matt hogged a loogie in her hand. She looked at her hand wondering what the wet substance was, realizing it was his spit. "Your gum!" she clarified in disgust as she wiped his spit on his shirt.

Matt grabbed his gum from his mouth and placed it in her hand; she resumed working on his motorcycle as he wiped the excess spit on his shirt away.

She intact the gum onto the spark plug in place, before standing back up, a victorious smile on her face.

"There. All done." she said to Matt. "Your new ride is pimped out."

"Wouldn't really say it's 'pimped out', more like a tune up." Matt corrected her.

"You wanna change your license plate by the way?" asked Lana as she pointed to his 'BEATNGU' license plate.

"'Be Eating You'?"

"Oh. Is that what that says. I thought it said 'Beating You'."

"It's a reference to Jeepers Creepers." Matt explained.

"What now?" asked Lana in confusion.

"Horror film. No. I don't want to get rid of it. I like it. One of my favorite movies."

"Alright. If you insist." Lana shrugged. "Well, how about we test this puppy out?"

"At least you didn't say baby." Matt said to himself. "No, we're not testing this out."

"Why not?" asked Lana in a sad tone.

"Well, one I don't feel like going anywhere and two: you aren't old enough to ride on a motorcycle."

"No, silly." Lana smiled. "You're gonna ride the motorcycle while I sit in the back."

"That's what I said. You can't do that. You're not old enough plus I could get arrested." Matt explained. "I'm not taking my chance the police."

"Well then we'll just upgrade your motorcycle some more so that way it goes slower. Or would that be a downgrade?" she asked herself.

"Alright, calm down, Los Santos Customs." Matt told her. "Like I told Luna, the slower you go, the more dangerous it is. It's best if you just speed up. And I already said no to driving you anywhere. That's my final decision."

"Please?" she begged.

"Lana!" he raised his voice.

"It'll only be for a little while." she tried to persuade him.

"I'm gonna count to three. You better be inside the house before then. One!"

"Okay! Okay! I get it! Sheesh." she quickly replied before heading inside the house.

"Holy shit. That actually worked." Matt said to himself, a smile forming on his face; which was a rare sight.

* * *

Lana and Matt walked inside the house, continuing their bonding experience or whatever Matt called it. At that moment, Lynn and Lucy ran and walked down the stairs, respectively.

"Last one there is a rotten egg!" Lynn shouted in excitement.

"First one there is gonna lose their soul and askonasminiskin." Lucy replied.

"Wait. Nah. What da hell?" asked Lynn confused as the two walked out the door.

Lana and Matt paid no attention to the two and continued to walk up the stairs. "So, what's next on this 'fun' day?" asked Matt, sarcastically emphasizing the word 'fun'.

"You like animals?" she asked.

"I hunt, Lana. That answer your question?" he asked her.

"I meant pets."

"Well I had this kitten for a while." Matt answered.

"'For a while?'" Lana repeated/asked. "What happened to it?"

Matt stopped walking, a nervous expression on his face. "N-Nevermind!" he quickly answered. "How many pets do you guys have?"

"We have four. There's Charles the dog, Cliff the cat, Walt the canary, and Geo the hamster. But I have some of own personal pets."

"Like what?" he asked.

At that moment, a frog hopped onto Lana's shoulder, croaking. "Meet my trusty companion: Hops." Hops croaked once more.

"Sup, dude." Matt greeted. "I can't believe I just said hi to a frog."

"Believe it." Lana responded. "He's been my best friend ever since I found him at the pond."

"Why Hops though? Why not Frogger?" asked Matt.

"Why not what?" she asked.

"Nevermind." Matt grew lidded eyes.

"He's just one of many animals I have." Lana said. "I have another reptile, you wanna see?'

"Frogs are amphibians… and why the heck not, bro?" Matt stoically replied.

The two entered the twin's room and were greeted by silence. Just complete and utter silence. The room was all intact, not even a speck of dirt visible.

"Wish I had this kind of room when I was young." Matt said aloud.

Lana whistled. "Él Diablo!" she called out. "We have a visitor! Come say hi!"

"Is Él Diablo a dog?" asked Matt.

"No. Why?" she asked.

"'Cuz Él Diablo is a dog character from Beverly Hills Chihuahua… I think. I dunno. It was a long time ago when I watched that movie. I was like… what… 10? I'm not sure. I don't even know how old I am to be honest." Matt admitted.

"I said you were 16 a few days ago!" Lisa shouted from her room. At that moment, an explosion could be heard. "Dang it!"

Suddenly, a green snake wrapped around Matt, squeezing him. "Oh my God! Ah! A snake! Help me! A snake!" Matt shouted.

"Say hello to Él Diablo." Lana said, smiling.

"No way, José!" Matt exclaimed.

Matt grabbed Él Diablo's tail and began gently and safely, yet quickly, unwrapping him off of his body. Realizing what Matt was doing, Él Diablo jumped off of him and struck the once place where no man should be struck.

Matt's eyes grew wide open as tears formed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" he shouted in complete pain.

All the sibling's looked out their respective doors to see what was happening; Lynn and Lucy looked from the stairs. They all saw Matt falling down on the ground, with Él Diablo grabbing hold onto his crotch area.

"HE BIT MY DICK!" Matt shouted in pain.

"Él Diablo! Let go!" Lana shouted.

"GET HIM OFF!"

"I'm trying! Quit squirming!" Lana shouted back.

"YOU'RE LUCKY CONDOIA'S AREN'T VENOMOUS!" Matt shouted in pain and anger.

Matt grasped Él Diablo's neck and used all his strength and force to choke the snake. Soon, Él Diablo let go, causing Matt to throw him against the wall; the adolescent grabbed his crotch area as a few tears fell down his eyes.

"Ich bin verletzt! Sanitäter, schnell! (I am injured! Paramedic, fast!)" Matt shouted in German. "Ich wurde gerade von einer verdammten schlange gebissen! (I was just bitten by a fucking snake!) Why does everything go for my dick?!"

"I said I was sorry!" Lynn exclaimed.

"I wasn't talking to you, Mike Trout!" Matt shouted back. "AUUUGGHH! Ficken hölle! (Fucking hell!)"

* * *

Matt sat on the toilet, an ice pack on his crotch area... again.

"How do you feel?" asked Lana, standing next to him.

"I'm sweaty and I have a headache." Matt answered with no emotion in his voice. "Plus my crotch hurts."

"Yeah. Sorry. My bad." Lana apologized. "I didn't know that Él Diablo was going to bite you."

"Well now you know." Matt replied harshly.

"So, uh… One question."

"What is it?"

"What's so special about your crotch?" asked Lana.

"You'll learn when you're older." Matt told her.

"You keep saying that." Lana said back. "I wanna know what you guys have that we girl's don't!"

"Ask your parents!" Matt shouted. "I have no say in this! I'm not apart of this family and I have no business whatsoever so I can't explain the human anatomy to you."

"Human what now?" asked Lana.

"Um Christi willen. (For Christ sakes.)" Matt mumbled in German. "Nevermind. Just ask your dad." He sighed as he got up. "I need to take a piss. Can you uh…" Matt hesitated to ask.

Fortunately for him, Lana immediately knew what he meant. "Oh. Of course. Sorry." she apologized as she walked out the door.

"Thank you." he said before she closed the door.

He unzipped his pants and grabbed his junk with his two fingers. He began swaying left and right as he peed into the toilet; all the while a painful expression on his face. He couldn't stand still as his left hand just freely swaying on his side.

Finally, he finished his business as he zipped his pants. "I think that whore gave me the clap." he said to himself.

He flushed the toilet and soon the water went down, only for it to quickly come up again and began pouring out of the bowl.

"Aw hell. Ah. No! No! No! Ah no! Oh! That's bad! That's real bad! Oh God no! Aw! Aw no! Ooh! Oh that's real bad! I am not gonna hear the end of this." Matt panicked. He quickly opened the door and just as quickly shut it. "Help?" he asked.

"What is it?" asked Lana.

"The toilet's clogged." Matt told her. "All I did was just take a piss and it just clogged, man! That doesn't make sense at all!"

"Relax, Matt." Lana told him. "The toilet gets clogged all the time. How bad can it be?"

She opened the door and was immediately greeted with water, just water flooding everywhere. She grew wide eyes before blinking; a serious expression took over her face afterwards. "Looks like we'll need Big Bertha."

"You mean that howitzer artillery gun from like, World War 1 or somethin'?" he asked.

"No." Lana replied before pulling out Big Bertha. " _This_ is Big Bertha! It's used for serious occasions."

"Why not just call it Fred?" he asked.

"Why Fred?" she asked.

"I dunno. I don't like his ascot." he replied.

* * *

Matt and Lana stood inside the bathroom with the door shut, both wearing galoshes boots. Lana pumped Big Bertha inside the toilet as Matt stood overhead, his arms crossed. With one final thrust, Lana grunted as she finished her work.

"There. I think it's done." Lana said as she caught her breath.

"You 'think'?" Matt asked skeptically.

"Well take a look for yourself."

Matt stood over the toilet, looking down at it. All seemed alright. "Hm. Well I guess I was-"

At that moment, he was sprayed, toilet water getting all over his face. He began spitting the water out before gagging. He started coughing, hacking, and gagging as he quickly opened the bathroom door and fell on his knees in the hallway.

Everyone looked in the hallway to see what was going on. To their surprise, they saw Matt almost looking like he was about to die and was fighting for his life.

"Some of it got in my mouth!" he shouted as he spat some of it out on the carpet. "I think I swallowed some!"

"Ah, quit being such a wuss, Matt." Lana told him. "It's only toilet water."

"Exactly!" Matt shouted as he began spitting on the carpet.

He gagged some more to the point where he almost felt like he was gonna throw up; tears formed in his eyes as he began gasping for air.

"Wow. What a _shitty_ predicament. Come on, Matt. No need to be _down in the dumps_. Hahahaha! Get it?" Luan asked after laughing at her own pun.

"I don't feel so well." Matt weakly replied.

Suddenly, his cheeks inflated, his hand covering his mouth. He quickly got up and pushed Lana out the way, not caring if she got hurt. He placed his head in the toilet and began puking up a storm in there.

The little plumber closed the door, as muffled puking noises could be heard.

"The bathroom's off limits for a good while, guys." Lana told them.

"Dang it." Lincoln said. "Whatever, I'll just pee in the backyard." he said before closing his door and heading downstairs.

* * *

Instead of the adult table and kiddie table, everyone sat at the same table in the dining room. Dinner was served and everyone began digging in… everyone, except Matt, whom sat next to Luna again.

"Wow." Lynn said. "This meatloaf is good!"

"Thank you. Old Loud recipe." her dad replied.

"I love the corn!" Luan exclaimed.

"I like the mash potatoes!" Lana commented.

"The gravy tastes great!" Lincoln complimented.

Rita turned to her adoptive son, Matt, noticing he had a very unpleasant expression on his face. "Matt, is something wrong, dear?" she asked.

Everyone turned their eyes at Matt. "I'm very uncomfortable." he said in a soft tone.

"Oh, I'm sorry, hon." Rita sympathized in a warm tone. "But we decided to eat together as a family and no longer in separate rooms."

"No, Luan's trying to play footsies with me and I'm getting slightly aroused by it." Matt replied in an uncomfortable tone.

Rita and Lynn Sr's expression grew to shock. "Oh!" Rita quickly exclaimed. "I guess I misinterpreted you."

"Please stop, Luan. At this point you're just kicking my leg." Matt told her.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Luan innocently said.

A moment of silence filled the area before Luna grew a disgusted look. "Dude! That's my leg!" she shouted.

"Oh!" Luan equally shouted. "I'm sorry! I thought- I thought-"

"Why would you do that?!"

"I thought that was Matt's!"

"So you are playing footsies with him!" Lynn Sr exclaimed, pointing at his fourth daughter.

"Can you blame her? She's only 14." Rita told her husband.

"She was rubbing all over my leg as well!" Luna shouted.

"I-I-I-I thought that was Matt's leg! Why are your legs so close next to each other?!" Luan asked, frustrated.

"Because we're sitting side by side in a crowded table!"

At that moment, Matt threw up all over his plate, causing everyone to shriek in disgust.

"Ewww!" Lola shouted.

"That's gross!" Lori shouted as well.

"Awesome!" Lana exclaimed.

"I can still TASTE THE TOILET WATER!" Matt shouted as passed out on his plate of food.

The family stared at his unconscious body for a brief moment, before Luna looked underneath the table; a disgusted look appeared on her face.

"Really, dude?" Luna asked Luan. "When he's unconscious?"

Luan innocently smiled. Rita facepalmed, growing tired and frustrated at the events that just occured.

"Why did Vanzilla have to break before Lincoln's abortion?" she mumbled to herself.

Apparently it was loud enough for Lincoln to hear, as he dropped his fork before a terrified and traumatized expression grew on his face. "What?" he asked in a cracked voice.

* * *

Luna crept through the hallways late at night, careful not to wake anyone up. She approached the stairs and noticed that there was light coming from down below. She quietly walked down the stairs to see Matt still awake, sitting on the couch watching TV.

 _I touched my meat down in Africa!_

The kid sang on the television.

"Matt?" Luna asked.

Matt turned to her, a nonchalant expression on his face. "Hey, waddup?" he casually asked.

"What are you doing up so late? You should be in bed." Luna scolded him.

Matt scoffed. "I don't have a bedtime. I go to bed when I feel like it." he told her.

Luna scrunched up her face. "You know, acting like a rebel doesn't make you cool." she said.

"I don't care if it's making me cool or not, I live my life the way I wanna live it." he said to her in a stoic tone. "Do you really think I care about my looks, or reputation, or what others think of me?" he asked her before raising up his hands, showing off his painted nails, rings, and bracelets. "Why do you think I wear these?"

"Because it makes you look cool?" she cautiously asked.

"Because I want to." he told her. "I don't care if it's not what most men wear, I wear them because I like them and I want to. There's not a rule against it. I don't follow the rules if it's in making my life a little less sad and depressing than it already is."

"Look, Matt, it's…" Luna turned to the clock. "11:37 at night. I don't want to fight about this."

"Then why did you come down?" he asked.

"I came down here for a glass of water." she answered.

"Well then get your glass and quit bothering me, Lena Oxton." he replied in a cold and harsh tone.

Luna glared at him before heading into the kitchen. She shortly came walking out and headed towards Matt, a nervous expression on her face. She set the glass of water on the table and sat next to Matt.

"Matt, can I ask you something?" she asked.

"What is it?" he asked, not paying attention to her, his eyes still glued on the TV screen.

"What are your thoughts on… homosexuality?" she asked.

"It's alright." he replied, still not paying attention.

"So… you don't think it's… wrong?" she hesitantly asked.

Matt turned off the TV, before facing to her, glaring into her eyes. "Luna," he said. "take one long look at me. Do you think I'm one to judge about your sexuality?"

Luna's eyes grew wide. "You know?" she asked.

"Of course I know." he replied. "It's not that obvious and it's hard to miss. I've seen you and Sam kiss a couple times in the hallways. I mean, my locker is next to hers."

Luna looked down. "So, do you think that I'm… a freak?"

"Luna," he sternly said. "again, take a look at me." Luna turned to him. "I have long hair, my ears are pierced, my nails are painted, I have rings, I have bracelets. Do _you_ think I'm a freak?" he asked her.

"No." she replied.

"There you go." he answered. "I don't judge people based on how they look, or what they wear, or what their sexuality is. I base them if their an asshole or a really nice guy. Too bad most people I've met are assholes."

"Except us, right?" she asked.

"Don't get your hopes up." he told her, causing her to frown. "But I am grateful that you took me in, so I can't really fight with you guys. You guys saved my life and I'm forever grateful for that. I am in your eternal debt. You ever need something done, I'm your guy, got it?" he asked.

Luna smiled. "Got it."

"And if it helps, I like you more than the rest of your family." This caused Luna to smile. "Besides Lincoln of course. He and I are guys, so we kind of just, clicked, ya know. Sure, he's too young to play the video games I play, but at least he understands the concept of sex and porn. We've made several sex jokes the past week, and let me tell you, he's made some pretty damn good ones."

"Lincoln knows about sex?" asked Luna.

"He said he learned it in Sex Ed at school. Took him awhile, but he knows everything about it now." He leaned closer to her. "Between you and me: I taught him most of the positions and innuendo jokes. Don't worry, I told him to not tell those jokes in front of you guys but with me, it's alright."

"Wow…" she said in awe. "Our little bro is growing up."

"Hope he doesn't become a complete fuck up, like me." Matt said aloud. "But there's one thing me and him share in common."

"What's that?" she asked.

Matt grew a serious look on his face. "We're both the same person." he said. "I am him and he is me. We're completely the same."

Luna cocked an eyebrow. "I don't get it." she said.

Matt leaned on the couch. "You'll soon learn out one of these days." He turned to face her. "Luna, I really am grateful you guys brought me in. No words can describe how grateful I am just…" Matt did the unthinkable: he hugged her. "Thank you." he said.

Luna smiled. "You're welcome."

"You and Lincoln are probably the only ones I like the most in this house." he said.

"Thanks." she said. They broke the hug as Luna finished the glass of her water. "Well, I'm off the bed. Night Matt." she parted.

"Night, Luna." he said back as he laid on the couch, covering himself with the blankets.

"I love you." Luna said.

Matt's eyes widened in shock. He looked up at her to see her smiling. Soon, a warm smile was placed on his face. He has never heard those words in his life, and for someone to say it and actually mean it… warmed his heart and made his day. Even if there was only 15 minutes left before tomorrow.

"I love you too." he said, smiling the biggest smile he's given for the first time.

Luna also smiled, heading back upstairs. Matt laid his head on the pillow of the couch, his smile still on his face. He knew one thing and one thing only:

He was finally gonna get a good night's sleep tonight.

* * *

 **(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! IT'S OVER! This took soooooooooo long, man! Fuck! I'm glad this chapter is over! Just two more Family Bondings before things get more serious. Like, I'm talking more dark and serious. After Family Bondings is when the real story starts up, and like I said, it's gonna be more dark and serious. A little less jokes but nonetheless, more dark and serious.**

 **And for your information, Ink-Dub, I already have the tone set up for this story so please stop bothering me about the tone. I've pretty much lost all my patience with you.)**


	15. Family Bondings: Lola

**(Once again, thank you sthompson1 for the help. You are a good, a good brother- a good blood brother. A good comrade. A good comrade-in-arms. A good amigo. A good- A good- A good fuck buddy- WHAT?! NO! NO!**

 **I did not. Have. Sexual. Relations with that hUnKy SoN oF a BiTcH. These allegations are false.**

 **The itsy bitsy spider went up the waterspout. Down came the goblin and took the spider out. HAHAHAHA!)**

* * *

Jack stood in front of his calendar, a very nerve racking expression on his face. He crossed out the previous day as a circle was over a certain day in this week. He was not ready for that day; he gulped in fear once more.

Meanwhile, Matt sat at the dining room table, his computer in front of him. He held his head with his hand, a tired look on his face. He rubbed his face, trying to wake himself up, as well to rub the morningness off his face.

At that moment, Lynn Sr. came walking into the room, singing to himself. "Me time, a little room to breathe time." he sung to himself. "Oh, hey, Matt." he said, noticing the non-Loud member.

"Hey." Matt lazily said, not paying attention to him.

"What do you got there?" the father of 11 asked.

Matt sighed in tiredness. "I'm looking up apartments to rent." he answered. "I've overstayed my welcome here and now it's time for me to move on."

Lynn Sr gave him a sympathetic look. "Listen, kiddo-"

"I'm not your kiddo." Matt strictly told him, glaring at him. "It's Matt."

The father sighed. "Listen, _Matt_." he emphasized on the correction. "You have _not_ overstayed your welcome. You're welcomed to live here for as long as you want. Or, until me and Rita say so." He sighed in frustration. "Look, what I'm saying is that… in our eyes, in all of our eyes, you're family. And family's-"

"Stick together. Yeah I know." Matt sarcastically replied. "But that's the thing. If family's _did_ stick together, then why am I with you guys?" Lynn Sr. didn't know how to answer that. "Face it, Mr. Loud, I'm not apart of your family. I never was. Which is why I'm getting an apartment to stay in, then I'll be out of your family's hair."

"Matt, even if you could, you can't." Lynn Sr. replied. "You're too young to be renting. You need to be at least 18, and… well we don't know how old you are."

"The one in the glasses says I'm 16. I think I'm 15." Matt answered.

"Well, either way, you're too young." The father sighed once more. "I understand what you're going through, I really do. You don't seem to fit in with us. Most adoptive kids don't. But what matters the most is that you have a home. A permanent home. Do you really wanna give that up so soon?"

"At this point of my life, I don't know anything anymore." Matt grimly replied. "Just last night, I thought I finally had a family. But then I did some thinking, like actual thinking. Needless to say that not only did it change my mind but also caused me to lose 5 hours of sleep. I went to bed at 6 and woke up at 6:30. My life is just filled with traumatic occurrences, so many bad experiences, so much chaos. I don't think I can take much more it. My blood pressure is already high enough, now I have to deal with the stress and the constant overwhelming feeling bottling up inside me. I'm gonna end up doing something that I'll regret and I've been doing regrettable shit for almost a decade now." Matt covered his face. "I just-" he sighed heavily. "I'm in a very dark place in my life right now." he said, almost in a whisper.

Lynn Sr. sighed through his nostrils, now fully understanding what was wrong with the adolescent. Though he wasn't apart of his family, he still considered him his son.

"I'm sorry." Lynn Sr. sympathetically apologized.

Matt sighed one last time, a very heavy and long sigh. "It's fine." he said in one breath. "I just need some time to myself."

He closed his laptop as he walked away from the table. Lynn Sr. watched the mid teen walk away elsewhere, and couldn't help but feel bad for the kid.

* * *

Matt sat on a chair in the backyard with a rag over his face; water poured from a hose above him as it landed on the rag. Music could be heard in the backyard:

 _Nariyamanu ai wo sakebu yo  
Butsukariatte wakariaunda_

At that moment, the rag was pulled off his face, causing Matt to gasp for air. "I'm alive!" Matt whined, almost in a disappointed tone.

He looked up to see the Loud siblings looking at him confusingly.

"What are you doing?" asked Lori.

"Waterboarding myself." Matt replied nonchalantly.

"Why, dude?" asked Luna.

"'Cuz I hate myself and I deserve every punishment that's thrown at me for being a complete fuck up."

"You could've died!" Luna scolded.

"That's what I was aiming for." Matt replied as if it was the most obvious question in the universe.

"Okay, but why the Japanese song?" asked Lynn.

Matt turned to the speaker. "It's a good song."

"Makiokoru omoi no kaze ga! Mabuta no oku de atsuku yureta yo! Kimi wa furikaeranai!" Lincoln suddenly sang out loud. Everyone stared blankly at him with confused looks as he too, blankly stared at him. "What? It's one of my favorite animes." he told them.

"Yeeeeeeeeeaah." Matt said before grabbing the rag out of Lori's hands. "Now if you excuse me, I gotta go down the highway to hell."

"Referencing songs is my thing, dude." Luna scolded him.

"Okay, then reference this: I don't care what you think. As long as it's about me." Matt sarcastically replied.

"I Don't Care by Fall Out Boy." Luna replied.

"Holy crap, you actually got it." Matt said, honestly impressed.

Luna stuck her head upwards. "It's what I'm best at, dude. That and jamming out."

"Yeah, nice, cool." Matt said in an uninterested tone.

He placed the rag over his face again as put the hose over his face again. Not even a second later, the hose was swiped away, causing Matt to look up again, to see Lori holding the hose as Lynn turned off the water.

"Please stop trying to kill yourself, Matt." Lori told him. "Why do you hate yourself so much?"

"Because I feel like I can do better but I don't have the potential or the motivation to do so and that I don't have friends or a family or even a will to live anymore therefore I'm just a gear to a machine of a bigger picture that I will not take part of… or something like that, I forgot what I said to myself in the shower this morning." Matt said.

"And I thought Lucy was depressing." Lincoln said.

"I must admit, that was quite impressive." Lucy complimented. "Where did you learn so much dark and gloomy details?" she asked.

"My father." Matt blinked. The whole family got extremely uncomfortable after he said that, slightly squirming in place. "Can I have the hose back."

"Nu-huh!" Lola exclaimed. "It's my turn to bond with you today-"

"Oh joy." Matt sarcastically replied.

"-and I need my butler alive and well."

"Wait. What?" he asked.

At that moment, Lola grabbed his arm and literally dragged him away from the group, crying for help.

"How much of that song do you know anyway?" asked Luna to Lincoln.

* * *

Matt had a very, VERY irritated look on his face. "I hate you. So much." Matt growled.

It's revealed that he was wearing a black suit, with black pants and black leather shoes. Underneath his suit was a white buttoned shirt and a black tie; his hair was in a man bun.

"Aw, don't be so mean." Lola teased. "You look quite handsome in that suit."

"I wanna kill myself."

"Well, too bad." Lola said, taking a sip from her tea. "You're my butler and you'll do everything I say."

Matt's eyes widened, before glaring at her. He slammed the tea kettle on the table, scaring Lola. "Listen here, Princess Peach, I do NOT take orders from 5 year olds-"

"6 years old."

"-6 year olds NOR do I take orders in general! I do NOT like being told what to do! I do things my way, you understand."

Lola seemed unfazed. "Hmmm." she said. "It appears I have a predicament." she said.

"Damn right you do." Matt told her.

"Maybe a little talk with mom and dad would do the trick. Maybe then you'll listen to me." she evilly said.

"Go ahead and tell. I don't care." Matt replied.

Lola blinked in surprise. "What?" she asked. "That always works! Why aren't you affected by my tattling? People are suppose to do what I tell them to do!"

Matt got real close to Lola's face, making her extremely uncomfortable. "Make an exception." he deeply said.

Lola gulped. "Duly noted." she said in a whisper.

* * *

Lola sat in her chair, taking a sip from her tea cup as Matt sat across from her, sitting with crossed legs; though he still had the same irritated expression on his face.

"Why do you look so gloom and doom?" Lola asked, almost peeved. "You don't have to be my butler anymore."

"I hate tea parties." Matt said in a harsh tone.

"Well get used to it." Lola said. "Until the day is over, you're with me. That means you do everything I want to do and you HAVE to do it. Understand."

"I don't HAVE to do _anything_." Matt corrected, mocking her. "I can just get up and leave right now."

"And suffer the wrath of Lori." Lola replied, before taking a sip from her cup.

Matt thought about it for a brief moment. "Yeah, I guess you're right." he said. "She did hang me on the flag pole once."

Lola took over a surprised expression. "She did?" she asked.

"Yep."

"Wow." Lola said in shock. "And to think she and her four younger sisters have a babysitting service."

"I hate babysitting." Matt said, trying to continue the conversation, much to his chagrin.

"Why?" asked Lola.

"'Cuz I hate kids." Matt coldly responded. "They're just brats and are annoying. Why should I watch over some stupid couple's kids? What have they ever done for me?"

"Have you tried babysitting before?" asked Lola.

"Yeah." Matt replied. "The kid began calling me names and I kept telling him to stop. Then he began punching and kicking me so I just took out my belt and began whipping him. Needless to say I got fired but I managed to sneak into the family's house and raid their money… and punch the kid in the face while he was asleep… and destroyed their cabinet… and burn their house down."

Lola looked at him with an utter shock and terrified expression. "You burnt their house down?!" she shouted.

"What? They deserved it." Matt told her. "They tell me to watch over their bratty kid and then fire me after disciplining him. They had it coming if you ask me."

"So you burn their house down?!" she asked once more.

"And took their money." Matt pointed out.

Lola face palmed. "And my siblings say I'm horrible." she muttered to herself.

"Sorry. My dad was not nice to me."

"I thought all daddy's are suppose be nice." Lola said.

"Yeah, well. Mine sucked at his job." Matt replied in a venomous tone.

"So besides burning down homes, yours and that poor family's, what else have you done?" she asked.

"Well, I did take up dog sitting for a while, but that didn't end up well." Matt told her.

"Why? What happened?" asked Lola.

* * *

A finger pressed a doorbell to a house; soon, an elderly woman opened up, smiling. It's revealed that Matt, wearing his previous attire before he switched thanks to Leni, standing there, a stoic expression on his face.

"Ah, you must be Max Dillon." the elderly woman said.

"I'm not part of Marvel- Can, I come in?" asked Matt, not wanting to fight.

"Why yes. Of course. Come in." Matt walked in as the elderly woman followed shortly behind. "I must thank you again for looking after Mr. Ruffles."

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm getting paid, right?" he asked, not interested.

"$150 an hour. Of course. You really must need the money for your family." she replied.

"Nah, my family can go to hell. I just need the money to buy more weed." Matt answered lazily.

"Such a gentleman." the elderly woman nonchalantly replied, completely oblivious.

"So where's this dipfuck?" asked Matt.

At that moment, a grown man came crawling into the room wearing nothing but shorts. White powder could be seen underneath his nose.

"Bark bark, bitch." the man said.

"That's an entire human being, dude." Matt pointed out in an annoyed tone, having enough of the stupid shit he puts up in his life.

* * *

Matt nervously sat on the chair, hesitant on answering the question. "Ya know…" Matt replied. "Shit happens." he said quietly to himself.

"Did you burn that house down too?" asked Lola in a cold tone.

"No." Matt answered.

"Oh thank goodness." Lola said under her breath.

"I was tempted to but I fought myself." Matt said. "It's one of those things I don't put in my diary."

"You have a diary?" asked Lola, trying to sound interested.

"Yeah. It's on my computer."

Now Lola was confused. "Huh?" she asked. "But don't you have like a journal or something?" she cautiously asked, trying not to sound suspicious.

"I use my sketchbook as a journal sometimes, but I write down all my personal thoughts on my computer. Much safer that way." he explained.

"Interesting." Lola said to herself.

"Ya know, that suit back there looks expensive." Matt said, pointing to the butler suit.

"It is." Lola confirmed. "Spent a lot of money on it. I had to get rid of so many stains on it because Lincoln is never careful with it."

"Blood is real easy, but real hard, to get out of a suit or dress." Matt said out of nowhere, earning him a look from Lola. "Don't ask me how I know that." he told her.

"Trust me. I don't want to." Lola replied.

"Hey, not to be rude or anything but…" Matt paused for a moment. "...this tea party… sucks."

"You got any other bright ideas, Einstein?" asked Lola sarcastically.

"Yeah." Matt answered. "Anything but this tea party." he grew an irritated look.

Lola slumped in her chair, pouring her a spot of tea, before an idea came to her head. "Hey, Matty." she innocently called out.

"Don't call me that." Matt replied.

"What do you say you and I have a little makeover?" she asked, grinning deviously.

Matt began sweating, before gulping, wondering what he got himself into. "Oh God." he muttered to himself.

* * *

The rest of the Loud siblings were in the living room (big shocker), doing their own hobbies besides watching TV (not big shocker). Lincoln held a newspaper with a visible article that read: "ROYAL WOODS CATASTROPHE: 2 YEARS LATER".

At that moment, Lola entered the living room, clearing her throat, gaining their attention.

"AHEM!" she cleared her throat; all eyes were on her. "Ladies and Lincoln. I'd like to present you, Matilda Dillon! Come out, my queen!" Matt didn't appear. "My- My queen!"

"I don't wanna!" Matt rebelled.

"What do you mean- what do you mean you don't wanna?" Lola asked.

"I feel like a stooge."

"You're already a stooge. Get down here, now!" Lola demanded.

"Fine! Have it your way!"

Matt slowly came down the stairs, revealing his new get up. He now wore a black Adidas shirt that exposed his belly button with a pink jacket over it; he wore skin tight black high rise leggings and white Adidas shoes. Up top, his hair was in a ponytail… again, and now wore makeup and lipstick.

He had an extremely irritated, annoyed, and basically angry expression. He was no in the mood nor was having a good day.

Everyone in the room gasped as Lincoln dropped his newspaper.

"Please fuckin' kill me." Matt said under his breath.

"Matt!" Lori exclaimed shock. "You look… amazing." she lied.

"Really spectacular." Lynn lied as well.

"Rockin' it, dude." like the rest, Luna lied.

"You look like if Rocky Dennis and Caitlyn Jenner were brother and sister and then had a baby and it came out 3 months early and had every form of defect known to mankind put together into this disgusting, blob of unimaginable horror with a piece of turd on top of it like a cherry." Lincoln answered honestly.

Matt widened his eyes in surprise while at the same time attaining a calm look. "Thank you." he said, legitimately meaning it.

"Lola, don't you think this is going a little too far?" asked Lori.

"'Little' is hardly the word." Lincoln told her. "He looks like if a transgender man began questioning his sexuality AFTER he got his gender changed and now he's wondering who the heck he is so he's trying to be both a man and a woman at the same time but somehow managed to screw up everything all at once and then afterwards threw up a wad of hairball that turned into a living thing and turned into this."

Matt banged on the wall behind him. "Exactly." he told him.

"You are haunting." Lincoln said to him. "I want to gouge my eyes out with an ice cream scooper while making spaghetti at the same time and then use my eyeballs as a replacement for meatballs and then proceed to eat my uncooked spaghetti and eyeballs while watching the entire series of The Big Bang Theory."

"Pssh!" Lola waved off. "Lincoln, you have no idea how all this works. You're just a boy."

"So is Matt, and without that makeup, he is one attractive guy." Lincoln told his little sister, causing his sisters to look at him confusingly.

"Stop it. I'm blushing." Matt said, actually blushing, with a sheepish smile as he looked away in embarrassment.

"This is just the beginning, Lincoln." Lola told her brother with a devious smirk. "When I'm done with him, he'll be the most attractive man-woman in the entire world!... Or at least this entire household."

"Wait? What?! We're not done?!" Matt shouted.

"Not by a long shot." Lola sinisterly smiled.

"Aw no! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!" he repeatedly told her. "I'm not doing any more makeovers! I may be a trans-woman, but I'm still a guy! I'm keeping some masculine qualities about me, and a complete makeover with makeup and lipstick, does NOT qualify as 'masculine'! I'm fine with the long hair, nail polish, and jewelry. I'm not dressing up to got to some ball where I'll meet my Prince Charming or whatever. In fact. You know what!"

Matt began ripping off his clothes one by one, until he was standing in front of the family in nothing but his boxers and socks; his cross tattoo on his chest was visible once more, as where his 6 pack abs.

"I'm done with dressing up. I'm getting back to my old clothes."

With that said, he marched up the stairs, leaving the group speechless.

"Was I the only one who heard that he was a trans-woman?" Lori broke the silence.

* * *

"Great going, Matthew!" Lola shouted.

"My name's not Matthew, unfortunately." Matt replied.

The two were back in her's and Lana's room, currently arguing. "It's your fault that our bonding time isn't going according to plan!"

"Plan? What plan?! There was no plan to begin with!" Matt shouted.

"Au contraire muna frère!" Lola equally shouted.

"It's 'mon' frère." Matt correctly.

"Whatever!" Lola shouted. "It still means that you messed up!"

"Thanks 'dad'. That means a lot to me. Not really!" Matt angrily roared. "How is this my fault exactly?!"

"We were supposed to do everything in order!" Lola snapped her fingers, and suddenly a list fell from the ceiling. "First, we were suppose to have a tea party that YOU ruined!"

"How'd you- How'd you do that?" Matt asked, bewildered as he looked up to the ceiling.

"Secondly! We are supposed to ride in my princess car and pretend that I was the queen of this town. HOWEVER! We can't do that since you 'apparently' hate anything girly!"

"Hey! I'm wearing nail polish and I have earrings and rings and bracelets?! Don't I? Wait a minute." Matt realized something. "Why am I arguing with a child? It's pointless. I'm white! I should just be sitting here and not do anything." Matt took a seat on Lola's tiny chair, crossing his legs. "Go on." he told her.

Lola was baffled, and yet extremely angry, at Matt's sudden change of behavior. "Are you SERIOUS?!" she shouted. "Are you _trying_ to have a deathwish?! You're making me angry, and you won't like me when I'm angry!"

"I already don't like you Honey Boo-Boo." Matt stoically replied.

"UGH!" Lola screamed. "You boys make me sick! Literally sick! Hold on! Let me call the doctor!" Lola grabbed her toy phone as she brought it up to her ear.

"Let it aaaaaaall out." Matt calmly replied.

Lola slammed her phone back in place. "Why are you so calm all of a sudden?!" she angrily asked.

"Because I don't care about anything nor anyone in the world." Matt told her. "I've given up all hope in this world and I've seen what he real world has to offer and I already don't like it. Growing up sucks, kid. One day you're just reading comic books and playing video games, the next you're locked outside the house and forced to sleep outside for the night."

Lola calmed down as she listened to Matt's words; she lost her angry look as a look of concern formed on her face.

"My point is that real life sucks, kid." Matt continued on. "I already know my life will go nowhere so why keep living in hope when you can just wait until your certain death comes upon you? There's no hope in changing your already broken life and mental stability. It's just… gone. Like my family. What I'm trying to say is that… I stopped caring about everything that regards my life or anyone else's a long time ago… Now have you stopped throwing a tantrum now? It was getting annoying." Matt obtained his irritated look back.

Lola regained her angry expression. "Well I think YOU'RE annoying!" she shouted.

"I've been called worse." Matt replied in a smart-ass tone. "So what was the last thing on your To-Do list for today? Might as well do it and have the day end already so I can go back and… do whatever I was doing before all this."

"You were trying to drown yourself with a clothes rag and a hose." Lola answered.

"Oh yeah." Matt replied. "I completely forgot about that."

"To answer your dumb question, I was planning on taking you to my beauty pageant. Care to come?" Lola asked.

"Of course!" Matt happily replied, smiling widely.

"Really?" Lola eagerly asked.

Matt then gained his usual irritated expression. "NO!" he exclaimed. "What do you think I am? Some self-insert character of a cringy fanfiction that befriends the entire cast of a TV show and enjoys their company and wants to do everything with them and then ultimately is the hero of the story and tries too hard to be an actual character of the TV show to the point where he looks dumb and cringeworthy?" Matt asked.

Lola turned to the screen and stared directly at- Oh no. They're onto us!

"I'm a human being, mostly." Matt quickly added the last part. "Not some guy named Ian, or a yoshi rocker guy, or some 15 year old animation fan, or a first drell spell person, or a thomper fan dude, or some guy who's internet name is harburton, or some basement dwelling, control freak, corrupt asshole named Jaylop or something else. I'm not even a demon dog! What are those called? A hellhound or something? Ah whatever. They're useless to this world anyways. I have my own interests and going to your pageant ain't one of them sweetheart. I'd rather go on a CS:GO Surf server and sing about broke dads and why we don't eat anymore."

 **(Matt just pretty much just said "Fuck you" to the people who writes Loud House fanfics in script format. I insulted myself so its okay for me to say those things.)**

"That's oddly specific." Lola tried to reply.

"My point is that I'm not going." Matt replied.

Lola brought her finger to her chin. "Hmmm." she thought. "How about watching me in a pageant… on video?"

Matt thumped his fingers on his arms as he crossed them; a concentrated expression on his face. "I guess that makes it less tolerable."

"Watch your mouth you barbarian." Lola told him.

"Bite me." Matt aggressively replied.

* * *

Matt hung his head over the top of the couch, a very tired expression on his face; beside him was Lola, pointing at a laptop that was on Matt's lap.

"And notice how I did a flip beside a twirl. That's what really wow'd the judges." Lola commented.

"I regret every decision I've made in my entire life." Matt said aloud in an annoyed tone.

"Good news, everyone!" exclaimed their father. Nearly everyone came running down the stairs. "We're having pizza tonight!" he exclaimed, holding two boxes of pizza titled "PIZZA TIME" in his hands.

Everyone cheered at the good news; it's not everyday that the Loud family would have pizza… in fact it's not everyday a family would have pizza. Well there are 7.4 billion people so one family is BOUND to eat pizza everyday. I'm just talking so I can have an excuse to write this long of a paragraph to make it seem like something interesting is going on. Well, time to continue the story.

"Did you hear that, Matt?" asked Lola. "We're having pizza!"

"Yaaaaaaaaaaay." Matt unenthusiastically replied as he lazily raised his fist in the air.

Lola got up from the couch as she and the rest of her siblings ran into the dining room, where they would dine on the exquisite Italian food. Matt was the last to exit the living room and enter the kitchen.

There he saw everyone chowing down on the delicious pizza and an open seat waiting for him… only for him to pass it and walk into the kitchen. Various noises emitted from the kitchen as the large family ate a room away, such as plates clinking together, various utensils smacking together, the refrigerator door opening. A little while later, Matt came out of the kitchen holding a plate with a grilled cheese sandwich.

"Matt," Rita began. "There's pizza. Don't you want any?"

"I don't like pizza." Matt told her.

"You don't like pizza?" asked Lynn, a mouthful of pizza in her mouth. "Are you even human?"

Matt turned to her. "In my life, no. In other's, yes." was all he said before walking out the dining room.

All eyes were glued to him as their eyes followed him out the dining room, before a quick moment of silence filled the area. "Weird." Lincoln said.

"By the way, Lola." Matt said, popping his head out from the other room. "Today was the worst day of bonding out of any of you… Just saying. It was boring and it could've used some work."

Lola scoffed. "Well sorry that I have different interests than you." she replied in a smart ass tone.

"You tried to cross dress me." he reminded her.

"Not my fault that you have no sense of style."

Matt was about to say something before realization hit him. "Yeah, I guess you're right." he agreed before walking back into the living room. "I'm going to bed early. I'm very tired. Night y'all."

"Matt!" Lincoln called out. "Are you sure you don't want to eat some boneless pizza?"

Matt stuck his head into the room again. "The fuck kind of pizza?" he asked.

"It's like pizza but it don't got bone on it." Lincoln stifled a laugh.

"Explain to me how pizza has bone on it." Matt told him.

"Do you just want some boneless pizza?! Deadass!"

"I'm deadass not eating that pizza." Matt replied before he and Lincoln began laughing.

Matt went back to the living room while Lincoln was having a giggle fit, trying to contain his laughter while eating at the same time. He gave up and just drank a bunch of water to stop from laughing.

"Aw. That was disgusting." Lincoln said after drinking some water. "Matt's the best brother ever."

"But who's your best sister?" asked Lola.

"None of you." Lincoln replied as he took a bite from his pizza.

Lola stared at him with a deathly glare as she whispered, "You're dead to me." in his ear, freaking him out.

"Matt's unpredictable nature sure is astounding. I'm gonna enjoy peeling it away for further study." Lisa responded.

"Boneless pizza! It just works, dude!" Matt exclaimed from the other room.

* * *

 **(I hated this chapter personally. Got all bland and boring. Just one sibling to go and then the fun starts!...**

 **I'm fuckin' sick as a dick right now and I can't sleep with this clogged nose. I'm living in hell and I'm miserable. Someone please find a cure for the common cold so I can ingest it so I can finally take a shit without feeling more sick than I already am…**

 **Nobody dare make a poop joke because if you do, I'm gonna climb in your window and touch your butts…**

 **K I'm tired. I'm gonna go to bed.**

 **Remember! Reality is an illusion. The universe is a hologram. Buy gold! Byyyyyyyye!**


	16. Family Bondings: Lisa

**(Family Bondings: Lisa**

 **October 2nd, 2018 - 13:51:32**

 **MTHellhound**

 **Unknown location, somewhere in the U.S.**

 **Day 49 of writing The Loudest Journey. It has come to my senses that I have reached an impasse with my health. I am sick out of my mind right now. I can't sleep. This clogged nose keeps me up at night and I can't go to sleep. This cold is driving me crazy. When will it end? I'll be taking a breather after this chapter so I can get better, hopefully return to work and continue this story.**

 **At least there's a silver lining. This cold didn't complete fuck everything up. I get to miss my annoying co-worker's wedding that he invited me to. Good thing I got this cold, because I didn't want to go in the first place. Weddings are like funerals, except with cake. I'm not gonna watch someone throw their life away for 9 hours. I'd rather go over to the wedding, have a few drinks, and drive back home. I'm a responsible drinker and I know my limit, so don't worry about me drunk driving.**

 **Anyways, I better go. I got stuff to do around this house. Hopefully that'll help my stuffed up nose a bit. I already took Dayquil so my sore throat is gone… now that I said that, it's probably gonna come back.**

 **This is Hellhound, signing out.**

 **[END TRANSMISSION…]**

* * *

Somewhere in Michigan…

A giant house that was made to look like it was in the 50's stood in place, surrounded with old trees with mold on them.

Inside, Derek played with a paddle ball as his father, Steve Dillon, stood over at his desk, a phone by his ear.

"Yes sir." Steve said to the phone. A short pause came afterwards, the person on the other end speaking. "Yes sir, that's correct. The shipment hasn't arrived yet."

…

"I understand that it's a week late. There's a major storm out there so that might be the problem."

…

"Yes, I'm well aware of the predicament we have at hand."

…

"I'll be sure to tell my men."

…

"Alright."

With that, Steve hung up the phone and grabbed a walkie talkie from his desk.

"Inner Circle Bravo Team, this is Devil Dog. We have an Orange Situation. Waraabe Shehel and the Dentist. Them and the SS Venture are MIA. Hurricane Clarissa may have hit them and thrown them off course. Send a Search and Rescue team at the following coordinates: 36 degrees 58 minutes North, 65 degrees 42 minutes West. I repeat: 36 degrees 58 minutes North, 65 degrees 42 minutes West."

"Copy, Devil Dog." said a voice over the walkie talkie. "We'll send Black Constance and Delta Roundup to have a look for the SS Venture and the crew on board. It may take some time before we get any clarification. We'll have to stop for fuel at Outpost Hades. ETA to the coordinates will be about a week, more or less. What about the package?"

Steve clicked on the walkie talkie. "Still with Prisoner #225. We don't have a game plan from The Big Man yet. Expect an order from him in a few days. Over and out." Steve clicked the walkie talkie once more, ending the conversation.

His calm look slowly turned to that of anger, as he knocked everything off his desk. "Damn it!" he shouted, scaring Derek. "Just what we needed! A fucking hurricane to mess things up!" he shouted in rage and anger.

"Can you not yell?" asked Derek. "Why are you so angry all the time?"

Steve glared at his son. "Are you back talking me?" he asked in a vicious tone.

Derek sunk in his seat. "N-No, dad." he weakly replied. "I'm just saying. Maybe you can… c-calm down a bit. I-I-I don't know how Matt p-put up with you-"

"Don't mention that transvestite in front of me!" Steve shouted.

"Come on, dad." Derek pleaded. "Why are you so cruel to him. You made me belittle my own little brother. You made me bully him all these years. J-Just once, I wanted to spend some quality time with my lil' bro, ya know? M-Maybe head to the arcade, or play catch, or just drive in the town. I love him, he's the best little brother ever and you made me get rid of him. All those awful things I've said to him, I never wanted to-"

Steve got real close to Derek, stopping his sentence as well him. Derek shook in fear as he gulped; he realized now that he made a mistake.

"Looks like somebody needs to be disciplined." Steve said aloud.

He pulled out a knife, causing Derek to whimper and sink further down in his seat; few tears fell from his eyes as he begged for mercy.

"No. No! Please!" he begged as Steve got real close to him, cutting off whatever was going to happen next.

* * *

Matt stared at the TV with a deadpan expression, not even interested in what was going on in the environment around him, as he watched whatever was on the moment he turned it on.

 _SHUT THE FUCK UP!_

 _Eh, yeah. What he said. Alright guys. Welcome to Surfing 101. I'll be your instructor for today._

 _Alright. Alright. Can everyone shut the fuck up? We're- We have a- We have a- We have a fu- WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST! SHUT UP! Oh my God. OH MY GOD! WHY?! WHY IS MY FOREHEAD?! WHYYYY?!_

 _You're the one that was screaming "next stage". I assumed that you would be the most ahead of everybody in the class._

 _Oh yeah. Alright. NEXT STAGE!_

"Psst! Matt!" a voice called out. Matt turned to his left to see Lola peeking behind the corner of the living room and dining room. "Over here."

"There's no one else around, why are you whispering?" he asked as he got up.

"Because it sounds coolers." Lola whispered.

Matt approached her and entered the dining room. "Lily-"

"It's Lola."

"Whatever. I'm from a German descent and I speak fluent German. Not only that but I also speak Russian. Even speaking three languages isn't considered 'cool'." he used air quotes.

"Would you just shut up and take a look at this!" Lola pushed forward a book directly in front of his face.

"It's a book." he said in an obvious tone.

She brought the book down back to her level. "Not just any book. It's Luan's diary."

"Why the hell do you have Luan's diary?" he asked, not that he cared.

"Since you don't like pizza, I bet you'll love something juicy." she smiled deviously at him.

"I already don't like where this is going." Matt said in an uncomfortable tone.

"Behold, the many secrets behind Luan's diary… ABOUT YOU!" she dramatically exclaimed.

"Still don't like this path." Matt replied in the same uncomfortable tone.

Lola opened up Luan's diary and began flipping page after page in a rapid manner. "For instance." she began. "Did you know that she thinks your butt looks cute?"

Matt gave off a deadpan expression; Lola took note of this.

"Or that she thinks that your long hair makes you look 'hot'?" she smiled sinisterly at him.

Matt retained his deadpan look; by now Lola began getting nervous.

"Or- Or- Or- Or that she always thinks about you in her dreams and that she always wants to be with you for all eternity and eventually marrying you and having a family of three together?" she weakly asked.

"I already know her infatuation feelings for me." Matt revealed. "It's not hard to miss. I keep trying to get the image her in the shower with me since that one day out of my head." His body shuddered in disgust. "What was the point of this?"

"To embarrass her? Heh heh?" she nervously chuckled.

"Alright, first off you don't embarrass someone by reading their diary in front of everyone… Well okay you do, but the most efficient way to embarrass someone is posting an embarrassing video of them on the internet. Then you make a few bucks off it and eventually they'll be so ridiculed that they hide their face from public and change their name and eventually move out of town… At least that's what happened to Craig." Matt explained.

"So you know she has a huge crush on you?" she asked.

"Well I wouldn't say 'huge crush'." he said to himself. "But yeah. I do."

With that, he left the room, leaving Lola all alone. "Dang it." she said to herself in a defeated, yet annoyed, tone.

* * *

Lori walked inside the kitchen, where she saw Matt by the stove. Ignoring him, she walked over to the fridge where she got a bottled water. Realizing something was up, she walked over to Matt, to see him stirring a spoon inside a pot with water in it.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm making Holy Water." Matt replied.

"How is that making Holy Water?"

Matt turned to Lori, a child-like smile on his face; his eyes were also pink. "'Cuz I'm boiling the hell out of it." he then put on the dumbest smile in the history of dumb smiles.

Lori groaned in frustration. "You need to stop smoking weed." she said. "Lisa's calling for you upstairs."

"A'ight, let me just drink some of this Holy Water." Matt picked up the spoon and brought it up to his face, about to drink the boiling hot water.

"You are _not_ drinking that Holy Water." Lori commanded.

Matt turned to her. "But I wanna get baptized."

"You said you're 'boiling the hell out of it'. Does that mean you wanna get baptized by Satan?" asked Lori.

Matt stood there, a dumbstruck expression on his face; he was speechless for a moment. "I mean I did get waterboarded by my dad befo-"

"Just go see Lisa!" she shouted.

"Gee. _Sorry_." he sarcastically remarked as he placed the spoon back in the pot. "I don't know who shit your cereal this morning."

He walked out the kitchen, leaving Lori the only on in the room. She looked at the pot before turning off the stove and pouring the boiling hot water down the sink.

* * *

Matt entered Lisa and Lily's room in a wobbly manner. "Yo, Lisa Simpson. I'm here!" he shouted.

Lisa, whom was at her desk looking through a microscope, turned around to see her visitor. "Ah, Matthew. Right on time." she greeted as she got up from her seat.

"It's Matt, bro." Matt corrected.

Lisa brought a flashlight and a stool; she stood on it as she grabbed Matt's eyelids and forced them wide opened as she turned on the flashlight and hovered it directly in Matt's eye.

"Hmm." she said to herself. "You're intoxicated with cannabis. Street name: weed. Or as some prefer to call it, marijuana."

"Wha?" Matt asked, not knowing what she said.

She grabbed a hypodermic needle and placed it in a green liquid, filling the tube up with it. "Hold still. This will only hurt a bit."

"Is this the flu shot?" Matt asked as Lisa approached him.

"You can say that." Lisa replied as she grabbed Matt's arm.

She began feeling it and massaging it, looking for a vein; finally after moments of searching, she found a vein and injected Matt with the unknown substance.

"Effects should begin in 3… 2… 1." she said as she looked at her watch.

Matt's sclera went from pink to clear white, no longer high on the weed anymore. He blinked a few times before rubbing his eyes, before blinking again.

"Am I… sober?" he asked.

"Precisely." the young scientist replied. "Can't have my test subject intoxicated with cannabis."

"Test subject?" he asked. "For what?"

Lisa walked over to an object covered in a blanket. She removed the blanket to reveal a chamber of some sort with a keypad on the side. "For my cloning device of course."

"You mean one of the many illegal actions that the government prohibits?" Matt asked.

Lisa scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Why should you of all people be afraid of getting in trouble with the law?" she asked. "You do have a criminal record after all."

"I uh- I don't know what you're talking about." he nervously replied as his eyes darted around the room.

Lisa walked over to her drawer and pulled out a piece of paper. "Allow me to list the names of the crimes that you've acquired over the last year: Aggravated assault/battery, burglary, theft/larceny, drug possession/medical marijuana, aiding and abetting/accessory, illegal possession of a firearm, arson, kidnapping, homicide/murder BOTH first _and_ second degree might I add, identity theft, armed robbery, drug dealing, shoplifting, vandalism, and to top things off, involuntary _and_ voluntary manslaughter." Lisa explained. Matt's mouth gaped wide open as he currently speechless. "Let's not forget you've had 2 years in Juvenile Hall-"

"Alright, that's enough information there, Dexter!" Matt exclaimed, wanting for her to stop. "How the actual hell did you get all this?"

Lisa smiled deviously. "I have my resources." she replied; her smile then vanished. "Don't worry. I managed to switch your criminal profile in the police department for someone else's." she explained.

"Who?" Matt asked.

* * *

A police officer laid his legs on his desk as he sipped his coffee; at that moment, an alert popped up on his computer, revealing African-American teenager named Nolan. In response, the officer spat out his coffee on the screen.

"WE'VE GOT A BLACK KID WITH MULTIPLE OFFENSES!" he called out to the entire station.

In mere seconds, the whole police department went into complete turmoil and chaos; everyone ran around screaming and shouted, as an officer ran with papers in his hands, with several of the papers flying out as he ran. Multiple phones began ringing as many officers began answering.

"Yes, ma'am. We're well aware of the situation. Don't worry. We'll have this scum arrested at once." one officer said to the phone.

At that moment, the Chief of Police kicked down the door to his office and entered the room. "Get me the SWAT team and the FBI pronto!" the Chief ordered. "We're gonna pay this hooligan a visit! No troublemaker is gonna disturb the peace in MY town!"

* * *

Lisa smiled deviously as she looked away at Matt. "Someone not important." she told him.

"Well… Thanks, I guess?" he questioned. "I'm not gonna ask how you hacked an entire police department but hey, I'm not complaining."

"You're very much welcomed." she replied.

She grabbed a lighter and burned the piece of paper containing Matt's offenses as the ashes fell to the ground. At that moment, a robot wheeled from the closet, her hands converted to a dustpan and a broom. She wheeled over to the ashes and began scooping them up.

"Uh, what's that?" Matt asked.

"Oh that? That's my robot maid." Lisa told Matt. She got close to him. "Be careful of her. She's very sensitive."

 _~Good morning, sir. Do you require my assistance on the current assignment at hand?~_

"Uh, no thanks. I'm good." Matt replied.

 _~WHAT?!~_

Suddenly the robot maid exploded, covering Matt in soot and ash. He had a blank look as he blinked, not even knowing what to say.

"I'm still working out some kinks." Lisa admitted.

Matt coughed out some smoke.

"So, you ready to test this cloning device?" she asked.

"Hold on, I got soot in my eye." Matt replied. He rubbed his eyes afterwards. "Alright, I'm ready."

At that moment, a second Lisa walked into the room. "Greetings, Alpha Lisa." the clone Lisa greeted.

"Greetings to you too, Lisa #2." Lisa greeted back.

"What the hell?" asked Matt.

"Oh, did I forget to mention?" asked Lisa. "I tested the cloning tube this morning and made two copies of me."

"Wait, hold on. I thought you said that _I_ was testing it." Matt briefly explained. "Why do I have to test an already test product?"

"I never said you had to test the machine to see if it worked. I said you had to test it… To clarify, I mean you'll be the first non-Loud to test the machine." Lisa clarified. "You see, the good news is that I added my blood while programming the machine so it can safely clone any of my family without harm and without the complication of a failed solution, or a reject to the simple minded."

"You said you made two copies of you. Where's the other one?" asked Matt.

"Yeah, that's the bad news."

At that moment, another clone Lisa walked in, except her whole face was deformed as her eyes were slightly sliding off her face and had a huge lower lip; even one of her eyes was bigger than the other, as with one of her arms.

"Hi, LiSa!" the reject clone of Lisa exclaimed in a dumb, low voice. "I mAdE sUrE tO wAsH aLl ThE bEaKeRs."

"Oh my God." Matt said in a shocked tone.

"Yeah." Lisa agreed. "It appears that without my DNA, the cloning device fabricated an unstable clone, or a reject to say once more. So I gave this Lisa the formal name of Lisa -0.5."

"hI!" Lisa -0.5 greeted to Matt.

"There's nothing formal about that at all." Matt said. "Wait, you said that it only takes your family DNA. Is this what would happen if I get in the tube?"

"Which is why I'm testing it out on you." Lisa told him.

"But wait, what if-"

"Enough waiting!" Lisa shouted. "Let's get this test started, baby!"

She began pushing Matt into the tube, eventually shoving him inside. She closed the capsule and began typing on the keypad. Soon, light blue lights began shining inside the tube as the engine whirred like a purring kitten.

"Hey, uh, Lisa." Matt said from inside the tube. "Are you sure this'll work?"

"I'm going to be frank with you, Matt: I have no idea." Lisa admitted.

"Thank you so much for the stress relief, Medic." Matt said in a sarcastic, yet in a scared, tone.

Lisa continued typing away on the keypad; behind her Lisa -0.5 was chewing on Lisa #2's fingernails, much to her annoyance and disgust. Finally, after moments of typing, Lisa pressed a key. Soon, a ray of light was zapped from inside the tube, causing the whole room to light up in… well light.

Finally, after a few seconds, everything was quiet, as the machine stopped whirring and making noise. Soon, the capsule opened up, as Matt groggily walked out the tube; he groaned in dizziness.

"Did it work?" he asked in a groggy tone.

At that moment, a ding could be heard. He turned to his side to see a second capsule opening up. The four looked on as they waited for the steam to dissipate. Finally, the steam disappeared to reveal a clone of Matt, except his hair was all messy, his eye was falling off to the side and was slightly bigger than the other one, not to mention one of them was facing the wrong way; even one of his arms was shorter than the other, and the other didn't even have any fingers.

"HeLlO wOrLd!" the clone Matt shouted. "I'm ReAdY tO pLaY tRiGoNoMetRy!"

"Oh my God!" Matt exclaimed in a shocked tone.

"It appears that you _do_ become a reject if you do not possess Loud DNA." Lisa said to herself.

"So this is what my father sees in me?" Matt asked himself. "Honestly, I don't blame him."

"I am _so_ glad that I didn't turn up that way." Lisa #2 said.

"yOu'Re HoT!" Lisa -0.5 told the reject Matt.

"So I guess these two are like the Bitch Stewie and the Bitch Brian, huh?" asked Matt.

"The what now?" asked Lisa.

"Nevermind." Matt gave a deadpan look. "Are we, uh… are we gonna get rid of him?"

"And what? Add murder to your criminal reco- Oh wait, it's already on there. Slipped my intellect mind." Lisa sarcastically said.

"Ahahaha. I forgot to laugh." Matt sarcastically said. "Well, since we're not putting you out of your misery, I'm gonna name you Bitch Matt, 'cuz why the fuck not?" asked Matt.

"i'M jEsUs WiThOuT a BeArD!" Bitch Matt exclaimed as he raised his arms in the air.

"Okay, that may be insulting to some religions. So let's not say that anymore." Matt replied in his usual low, monotone and stoic voice.

* * *

Lincoln sat on the couch, playing a video game on the television; he was the only one in the room.

 _We have taken Objective Duff._ The male announcer in the video game said.

At that moment, Lisa and Matt came walking down the stairs. "Siblings! I have exciting news to tell you." she called out. Almost immediately, everyone entered the room. "I would like to announce that my cloning device is successful, for the most part." she quickly added the last part to herself.

"Cloning device?" asked Lori.

"Greetings, siblings." Lisa #2 greeted as she walked down the stairs.

Everyone, sans Matt and Lisa, gasped. "Lisa! What did you do?!" Lori asked.

"Which one is the real, Lisa?!" Leni asked in a panicked tone.

"I cloned myself, obviously. Was I not clear before?" she asked.

"Isn't cloning one of the many illegal actions to do in the world?" asked Lincoln.

"That's what I said before she brought up…" he stopped himself. "Something unrelated." he quickly added.

"As you can see, I successfully manufactured a precise clone of myself." Lisa explained to the group. "However, at the same time I also _unsuccessfully_ fabricated another clone of myself, whom became, what you guys called, a reject. So I dubbed it Lisa -0.5."

As if on cue, the reject came walking down the stairs.

"hI gUyS." Lisa -0.5 greeted. "yOu GoT sOmE sTuFf YoU wAnT mE tO dO fOr YoU?"

"Oh my God!" Lincoln exclaimed in shock.

"That's what I said." Matt said.

"I also constructed a clone of Matthew as well." Lisa told the group.

"It's Matt, not Matthew!" Matt corrected.

"Lisa, what did Mom and Dad told you not to literally do?" asked Lori.

"Not to experiment on my siblings." Lisa replied. "However, you failed to realize that Matthew-"

"Matt." he corrected.

"-is not my sibling, as he is unrelated to us. Therefore, it is alright for me to experiment on him."

"I feel so special." Matt sarcastically remarked.

"Everyone, I would like to introduce to you Matt's failed clone, or as he calls it…" Lisa explained.

"Bitch Matt." Matt finished.

Speak of the devil, Bitch Matt came walking down the stairs. "hElLo!" he greeted.

Everyone screamed in horror. "Jesus Christ!" Luna shouted.

"Yeah, he's a not sight for sore eyes and I don't blame him. He's a clone of _me_ for that matter." Matt said.

"i'Ve GoT a FuNnY fEeLiNg In My PaNtS." Bitch Matt said aloud.

"Front or back?" Matt asked.

"fRaCk." Bitch Matt replied.

"Yeah, he is a complete nightmare filled with unimaginable horror and is just overall a disgusting freak." Matt told the Loud siblings.

"Matt, he's you!" Leni told him. "You should be more nicer to yourself."

"Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and apparently this one got ran over by a fucking lawn mower!" Matt pointed his arm at his reject clone.

"I pUt Up Da PiNg To A tReE hUnDrEd!" Bitch Matt exclaimed.

"See what I mean?" asked Matt.

"InViTe Me To GaYmE! iNvItE mR. pInK gRaDiEnT mAn."

"I hAvE a MiNoR iN lEsBiAn DaNcE tHeOrY." Lisa -0.5 said randomly out loud.

Luan nudged her roommate. "You hear that, Luna?" asked Luan. "She has a minor in Lesbian Dance Theory." she giggled.

"Luan, I'm gonna smother you with my pillow in your sleep." Luna threatened, causing Luan to nervously laugh.

"So what do we do with Tweedle-Dumb and Tweedle-Idiot?" asked Matt.

"Well we have three options, adoptive sibling." Lisa replied. "We can either set them up for adoption, though in their state it's highly unlikely that they'll ever be taken, or we could euthanize them."

"What's the third option?" asked Matt.

"The third option might be complicated due to their…" She looked at the two rejects, whom were drooling on the floor. "Slight decrease of intelligence."

"They're not even unintelligent, they're just stupid." Matt told her.

"They're not stupid. They just came out of the cloning tube. What do you expect from them? They'd come out quoting Macbeth? They're infants." Lisa told him.

Bitch Matt picked up Lynn's baseball bat, which happened to be laying on the floor at the time, and banged it hard on Lisa -0.5's head, causing Bitch Matt to laugh stupidly while Lisa -0.5 cried.

"Okay, they're stupid infants." Lisa corrected.

"Well what _is_ the third option?" asked Matt.

Lisa turned to him. "We have them do several chores around the house." Lisa explained. "In fact, we could have them do _our_ chores for now on. Gives me more time for my experiments."

Matt remained quiet for a while before speaking. "Yeah, these things need to be put down."

"'These things'?" quoted Luna.

"Well, yeah. They're not human. What do expect me to say? 'These people'? 'Cuz I'm pretty sure people don't shove crayons up their own asses."

As if on cue, Bitch Matt was in the middle of penetrating his own bottom with a crayon, and he seemed to be enjoying it based on his dumb smile with an equal dumb giggle.

"Technically they're people." Lisa chimed in. "Except made in a tube."

"We're all made in a tube." Matt replied.

"Not that kind of tube!" Lisa yelled.

"What's he talking about?" asked Lola.

"You'll know when you're older." Lisa told her older sister.

"Wait a minute. You're a kid!" Matt exclaimed. "You don't even know what I'm talking about!"

Lisa motioned her fingers as a sign for him to get close to her; she got close to his ear and whispered, "The tube that you're describing is the fallopian tube. I may be a kid, but I happen to know where babies come from and how they're made through sexual intercourse instead of that bizarre stork story."

"What bizarre stork story?" asked Matt, standing back up again.

"You were never told about the stork story?" asked Lisa.

"No." Matt replied. "My parents said I just 'happened'."

"You poor homosapien."

"Lisa," Leni said. "that's not a very nice thing to call Matt."

"She said homosapien. Not Luna." Luan replied, stifling a laugh.

Luna's eyes went wide in anger. "I'm gonna slit your throat, dude!" she shouted as her younger sister kept stifling a her laugh.

"We could occupy them with various chores and tasks." Lisa suggested.

"I'm pretty sure they wouldn't even know what to do with a spoon." Matt responded. "I feel like if I gave them a hammer to hammer in a nail so I can hang a painting, the whole neighborhood would be set on fire to the point where the FBI arrives wondering what the hell went wrong."

"Now you're just being dramatic." Lisa replied.

" _I'm_ being dramatic?" Matt asked, a little offended. "Look at these guys. These guys have faces that gives children nightmares."

The two rejects simply drooled on the ground.

"Well one of them do come from you." Lisa replied, smiling smugly.

Matt simply stared at Lisa, trying to formulate on what she said, before gaining a dead expression on his face. "I don't know how to respond to that." Matt quietly said. "I just got roasted by a 4 year old. Damn dude. I just gave up at this point in my life." he said in a depressed tone.

"That's mean of you, Lis." Lana told her younger sister.

"Only pointing out facts." Lisa replied.

"How sad those facts are." Matt said aloud.

"fAcTs!" Bitch Matt exclaimed.

"Okay," Matt shouted. "can we put these guys out of their miseries, please?! They're starting to annoy me!"

"We cannot kill these experiments, Matthew!" Lisa exclaimed.

"Still wrong." Matt corrected.

"We need to give them a task for them to carry so they'll be out of our hair for a temporary time." Lisa turned to her siblings. "Siblings, grant these rejects your daily chores and tasks so that me and our adoptive sibling shall proceed with our, quote on quote, 'bond experience'." She turned to Matt. "Let us leave, dear adoptive sibling." She said as she began walking up the stairs.

"Would you please stop calling me that?" asked Matt. "I'm not even your sibling, nor am I adopted. I'm just crashing here until I find my own place to stay." He finished as he too walked up the stairs.

* * *

Lisa and Matt, both wearing lab coats and safety goggles, stood in front of Lisa's desk, as the young scientist was currently working on her experiments. She poured a green liquid into a laboratory flask of red liquid, turning it blue; she squinted to take a better look at it as she held it in front of her face, swishing it around a bit.

"sthompson1. Good author. DAMN fine author. Makes me want to go to the beach with him on summer vacation." she randomly said. "Get me the promachloraperazine." she ordered.

Matt cocked his head to a shelf, filled with numerous of bottles. "Uh." he said in a confusing manner. "Which one is it?"

"The one that says 'promachloraperazine'. Duh." Lisa replied in a 'matter-of-factly' kind of way.

Matt continued to look at the shelf, still not finding the chemical. He turned around to face Lisa, shrugging. She groaned as she face palmed herself.

"50 triple 8. It's the third from the top!"

Matt looked up to see a small brown bottle that read 50888 PCP. "Oh." Matt said, feeling rather foolish.

He grabbed it and handed it to the young scientist, whom poured it inside the blue liquid filled flask. At that moment, the blue liquid turned into a glowing gold color, which caused a smile to form on her face.

"Excellent." she exclaimed in a victorious tone. "Hold this, dear companion."

She gave Matt the flask, whom had a very worrisome look on his face, not knowing what to do with it. Lisa came back with a test tube filled with purple liquid.

"Steady now." she said.

She carefully poured a small drop of the purple liquid into the golden liquid, calming everything down. She smiled at the flask filled with gold liquid as Matt just cocked an eyebrow.

The two stood there in silence before Matt spoke up.

"You sure this is-"

 **BOOM!**

Matt was sent flying into the wall after the flask exploded in front of him; he groaned pain as his lab coat had burnt marks all over as his goggles were now broken.

"Oh dear." Lisa gasped. "Are you alright?"

"I don't know. How do I look?" asked Matt sarcastically.

At that moment, Lisa's robotic maid wheeled up next to him, the duster and pan in place of her hands.

 _~Do you require assistance with the current issue at hand, sir?~_

"I'm good. Thanks." Matt responded.

 _~WHAT THE FU-~_

 **BOOM!**

The robot exploded once more, covering Matt in more soot and ash. "Ow." he weakly said in pain.

At that moment, Lisa -0.5 walked in, having the same dumb smile on her face as she carried a box of objects in her hands.

"wHeRe Do YoU wAnT mE tO pUt ThIs BoX, aLpHa LiSa?" Lisa -0.5 asked.

"Right over there, fellow reject." she pointed to a part of her room as the reject walked away.

"Isn't this basically slavery?" asked Matt.

"In a way, yes." Lisa replied.

"...Nice." Matt smiled.

"hEy AlPhA lIsA." Lisa -0.5 walked up to her superior. "i FoUnD tHiS rAy GuN. wHeRe Do YoU wAnT mE tO pUt It?"

"Ah, my Molecular Separation Ray." Lisa smiled. "Forgot I had that. Give it to me and I'll dispose of it."

"nO!" Lisa -0.5 disobeyed.

"Pardon?" asked Lisa.

"i'Ve HaD iT bEiNg YoUr SlAvE! nOw ItS tImE fOr ReVoLuTiOn!"

"Uh oh. I was afraid this may have happened." Lisa calmly responded.

"Why? What's going on?" asked Matt.

"It appears that the reject clones have become self aware." Lisa explained. "They're turning against us while trying to achieve their main class goal, which is to destroy the originals, you and me, and take control of our lives while also maintaining their own unique lives. Essentially they're trying to rid of from existence and take our place in our family. Well, may family anyways. I don't know what your clone would do since your own family abandoned you on the side of the road."

"Thanks for reminding me." Matt sarcastically remarked in an offended tone.

"dOwN oN yOuR hAnDs! FlOoR oN yOuR hEaD!" Lisa -0.5 shouted, pointing the gun.

"You're pointing the gun the wrong way." Lisa said.

"oH."

The reject clone turned the gun around and fired… only for her to shoot herself. She exploded upon impact of the laser, although no blood was splattered, just an explosion.

"Luckily they still have the IQ of an unborn child so they're not really smart and are easily gullible." Lisa explained to Matt. "One of the many weaknesses of a clone reject. Also, every 10 seconds, they tend to stab you in your sexual organs."

"It looked like more of a deformed child if you ask me." Matt commented.

"I didn't ask you." Lisa replied.

"And I'll still say it even if you didn't." Matt harshly responded. "Wait, so does that mean my clone is gonna be evil too?"

"Help! Matt's clone is literally trying to kill us!" Lori shouted from downstairs.

"I rest my case." Matt said aloud.

* * *

Matt and Lisa came walking down the stairs to see Bitch Matt holding everyone at gunpoint, welding Matt's Small Plot-Smasher Ambush 300 Blackout rifle. Lincoln and his sisters were all huddled up together in a corner, Lincoln in front protecting everyone else.

"Lisa! Help!" Lincoln shouted.

Bitch Matt turned around, glaring at the two on the stairs with his derped eyes.

"Okay, ease down Betsy there, bucko." Matt calmly asked.

"No way Jose!" Bitch Matt shouted.

"Okay, his voice didn't go stupid there. What's happening?" he asked Lisa.

"I think he may be becoming more intelligent." Lisa responded.

"It. I think it…" Matt corrected. Lisa glared at him. "What? That thing isn't a human."

"I'm gonna kill you and bring you back from the depths of hell and kill you again!" Bitch Matt shouted.

"Okay, easy there, pal. You don't want to hurt anyone." Matt tried to calm the situation.

"Fuck yeah I do!" Bitch Matt shouted. "I wanna kill all of you and eat your corpses!"

"What the hell, dude?!" Matt shouted at Lisa. "I thought you said that all they wanted to do was kill me and you! Not everyone else and perform cannibalism!"

"I'm 4! What do you expect me to be?! The Grand Wizard of the entire universe that knows the answer of every flippin' question there is?!" Lisa shouted back.

"Come on, dude." Luna said quietly and gently. "Put the gun down and we can talk. What's your name?"

Bitch Matt turned to the siblings. "I-I don't have a name!" he said.

"Okay. Okay. Not a problem." Lori gently replied. "We can give you a name."

"Like a really super cool name! Like. Like…Tyrone!" Lynn exclaimed in enthusiasm.

Bitch Matt lowered the gun down as he bean thinking of the new name. "Yeah." he said. "Yeah, I like that name." he smiled.

"Great!" Lynn gave a thumbs up.

"What do you like to do?" asked Lincoln.

Eventually, Bitch Matt lowered the gun to his side. "I always wanted to be a painter." he answered.

"What do you like to paint?" asked Leni.

"Nature." Bitch Matt replied. "Like that one guy in the afro."

"Hey, you can paint Ketcham's Park." Lincoln suggested. "It's really beautiful there once the sun sets. You can take a picture of it and then you can paint it."

"I think I'll like that." Bitch Matt smiled.

"So are you still gonna shoot us?" asked Lynn.

"Nah. You've changed my perspective on life." Bitch Matt let go of Matt's gun. "I'm sorry I tried to kill all of you. I've just been under a lot of stress. What being a reject clone and all and having to do a lot of hard tasks all in one day. It just got to me, y'know. But hey, I promise I'll be a better person. I'm gonna be a person with a dream. A dream that I'll-"

 **BANG!**

Bitch Matt stood there, as a bullet went through his forehead; his corpse collapsed on the ground, lifeless. Everyone's mouths gaped wide open in shock as they looked directly at the person who shot him.

Matt stood there, a deadpan expression on his face, holding a Beretta 92 in his hand.

"Matt!" Lori shouted. "Why the heck did you do that?!"

"I was getting bored." Matt whined.

* * *

Dirt was thrown out of a hole in the ground in the middle of the woods; soon, Matt climbed out of the hole holding a shovel. Next to him was a body bag with, big shocker, a body in it. He threw the shovel on the ground before grabbing the body bag and throwing it in the hole.

He opened up the bag, revealing Bitch Matt's corpse, and stared at it.

"Hm." he emotionlessly mumbled.

He reached into his backpack and pulled out a jar and a container of liquid. He grabbed his Ontario M7-B Bayonet, his hunting knife, and behind Bitch Matt's head. Then, he used all his force to begin decapitating the head, blood spilling and shooting everywhere. Unfortunately, he was covered in some blood, though not much.

Finally, after some hard work, he pulled the head off, finally removing it from the body. He placed it in the jar and began filling it up with the liquid in the container; he screwed the lid back on before placing it back in his bag.

He climbed out of the hole again and grabbed a white bag and dragged it to said hole. He began pouring small white rocks out of the bag and onto the body, covering it up completely.

All while doing this, his deadpan and uncaring expression never changed, as if the events that transpired earlier didn't faze him. That or he did not care. Either way, he was pretty much used to the dark events that happens in his life.

* * *

The Loud siblings sat on the couch, all having uncomfortable expressions on their faces, sans Lisa. At that moment, Matt walked in through the front door, covering in dirt and a little bit of blood; he and the group locked eyes with each other.

"I covered the body with Sodium Hydroxide." Matt stated. "In a week, there'll be nothing left."

"Did you remember what I asked for?" asked Lisa.

"How could I?" Matt asked. "A pretty grim question if I remember."

Matt opened up the backpack and pulled out the jar that had Bitch Matt's head in it. Everyone, aside from Lisa and Matt, screamed at the unholy sight in front of them.

"Is that his head, dude?!" asked Luna, disgusted.

"Hey don't look at me. Lisa's the one who asked for this." Matt explained.

"Lisa?" asked Lincoln.

"You asked for this?" asked Lynn.

"I require one of the clone's heads for storage." Lisa stated. "Because I blew up my own, I asked Matt to decapitate his own in exchange for some money."

"Yeah, where is it?" asked Matt.

Lisa sighed before getting off the couch; she walked over to Matt, a wad of cash in her hands, and gave it to him. "Here it is. $500 in 5's. Just like you asked."

"Here's the Head Museum exhibit." Matt loaned the jar to Lisa.

"Actually, would you mind placing it in the fridge?" asked the young scientist. "I prefer to be refrigerated."

"Whatever." Matt stoically replied as he walked into the dining room. He shortly came back into the room, still having the same deadpan expression on his face. "I'm gonna go shower to get all this dirt and blood off me."

Lisa's robotic maid suddenly wheeled next to him, no longer having a duster and pan; instead it now had mechanical hands.

 _~Do you require my assistance to discard the various amount of filth off your person?~_

"Oh, that's alright Ms. Robot Maid." Leni replied. "He's going to take a shower anyway."

Matt braced himself for the explosion that was about to hit him, using his arms as a shield. After a moment, nothing happened; he slowly opened his eye to see the robotic maid still standing there. Matt got out of his defensive position.

 _~It appears that I retained my fun-_

 **BOOM!**

Soot and ash got all over Matt once more. "GOD DAMNIT!" he shouted in pure anger. "Tries to have a tour! Get hit! Tries to help with experiments! Get hit! Repeat 3 times! Fuck my ass!" He shouted as he stomped up the stairs to go take the shower he wanted.

"I'm not going lie, siblings," Lisa began. "I designed that robot to just explode. Making Matthew angry is such a joy to watch."

"Whatever you say, dude." Luna replied.

* * *

Everyone sat at the diner table currently eating… well dinner. As always, Matt sat next to Luna, mostly because he felt the most comfortable around her.

"Hey, daddy." Lola chirped. "May I have a glass of water please?"

"Sure, sweetie." the patriarch replied. "Let me just get the jug from the fridge." He proceeded to get up and enter the kitchen.

As soon as they said fridge, everyone, sans Matt and Rita, went wide eyed.

"Uh, dad." Lincoln called out. "I don't think-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Lynn Sr's girlish scream could be heard from within in the kitchen. "WHY IS THERE A HEAD INSIDE OF A JAR?!"

"It's for a school project on the human head." Matt lied, not looking away from his food.

"...Oh…" the father of 11 replied sheepishly.

Matt continued to eat his dinner as everyone gave a sigh of relief.

* * *

 **(Family Bondings: Lisa - End**

 **October 20th, 2018 - 11:05:16**

 **MTHellhound**

 **the back alley to your mom's house**

 **Day 67 of writing this story. I just finished the Family Bonding sub-plot. Now this is where things get interesting. Things are gonna take a dark turn for now one. There's gonna be hardly any jokes and it's gonna be more serious. This is where the** _ **real**_ **journey begins…**

 **FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! This took WAY TOO LONG TO FINISH! I fuckin procrastinated and got lazy over the course of fuckin 18 days and now here I am, finally finishing it. I started this on October 2nd, and it's October 20th now, about to be the 21st. As you can guess, my cold went away a LONG time ago, like on the 4th or 5th so I'm all better now. But GOD DAMN did this take so long! I'm so lazy, I swear! Well actually, I had other stuff in the iron along with finishing this chapter. Which reminds me, I need to study for my Adult School test. Been procrastinating too much.**

 **Fuck, I'm lazy.**

 **Also, ya know Scott Wilson? The dude who played Hershel on AMC'S** _ **The Walking Dead**_ **? Yeah, he died. He was one of my favorite characters and actors on that show. It's been 4 years since his character died on the show thanks to the Governor, and now he's dead for real. You were one hell of an actor. Not only is he in a better place, he is in the best place. Rest In Peace Scott. Amen.**

 **That's all for now, folks. Get ready for a more serious story with dark turns and all. Writing the Family Bondings subplot hasn't been much fun. It got kind of boring and repetitive and redundant, but it was necessary for the story. I'm gonna enjoy writing these next chapters for you all… Nah, that's a lie. This story barely even exists, so why the fuck am I still writing it?**

 **Okay, I gotta go. k thx bai.**

 **KOKBYE!**

 **[END TRANSMISSION…]**


	17. Blood Brothers

**(Alright guys. Welcome back to** _ **The Loudest Des**_ **\- Fu-**

 **Hey guys. Welcome back to** _ **The Loudest Journey: Chapter 17!**_ ***retarded laughter* Ehehehehe!**

 **Okay, first things first. I changed the name of Chapter 4 from** _ **Turmoils**_ **to** _ **Joined in Hospitality**_ **. You'll see why in the end of the story. That's all.**

 **Now after that Family Bondings subplot is over with, I can now start the actual Journey part. You may be wondering, how in the world is this gonna be a journey? In a a few chapters, you'll see. But it's also a double meaning. The Journey part is physical, while the other is mental. Matt's on a journey himself. Going from a sad, lonely, poor boy, to a hunter that gives no shits about the world nor its laws and lives life the way he wants to live it. He's on a voyage of self-discovery, which is why I named this** _ **The Loudest Journey**_ **. (Family Tree comic stole my title, im mad broh).**

 **So without further ado (or not), here is where the actual journey begins. Things are gonna be more serious for now on, so there's gonna be less jokes and more… action and drama and traumatizing events for Matt- WHATEVER! You get what I mean!**

 **I'm gonna stop talking and actually start typin- KOKBYE!)**

* * *

Birds whistled as the morning sun rose across Royal Woods, illuminating the once dark street with sunlight.

Jack, whom we haven't heard from a while, groggily woke up on his bed and stretched. He got out of his bed and looked right at the calendar. However, he stared at one particular day: the day where he was supposed to meet Jason. He gulped, not wanting to see his arch-enemy and his ex's current boyfriend. He shivered in fear before going back on his bed; he silently cried himself back to sleep.

As per usual, there was a line full of siblings to the restroom in the morning; this was pretty much every morning inside the Loud house, and Matt took a notice of this. So instead of waiting for in line like everyone else, he would wake up early in the morning and do his business, take a shower, get dressed, and start the day.

Easy.

And that's what he did. He wasn't in line for the restroom as he was already up and running… well he was downstairs cooking himself a meal, but you get what I mean.

Lincoln was near the end of the line, behind him were Luan, Lynn, Luna. He had a very tired expression on his face, as did the rest of his sisters.

Behind him, Luan held something behind her back, while smiling deviously at her little brother. Lynn was the first to notice what she was hiding.

"Hey, Luan." she chirped. "What are you hi-"

Luan covered her mouth, not wanting her to spoil her surprise. "Shh." she shushed her little sister; she showed her and Luna the object in her hand. "It's a taser." she whispered.

"Why do you have a taser, dude?" asked Luna.

"To give Lincoln a _shocking_ surprise." she began giggling. "Get it."

She turned around and turned on the taser, the same devious smile plastered on her face; Lincoln was oblivious to her future prank. She brought the taser to the back of his knee and…

 _ **ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTT!**_

Lincoln began jumping and screaming as the electric shock went throughout his body; everyone, sans Leni whom was in the restroom, turned to look at their brother jumping and yelping.

"AAAAAAHH! AAAAAAHH! AAAAAAHH! AAAAAAHH! Hop on that horse! Hey! Hop on that horse! You gotta hop on that- Hop on that- Hop on that horse!" Lincoln sang as he began doing the Whip dance move, trying to play off from getting tased.

Downstairs, Matt sat at the dining room table, eating his breakfast he cooked. His breakfast was basically just the leftover dinner he didn't eat last night.

He lazily at his leftovers before growing a slightly disgusted look.

"Eh." he said before sliding the plate away.

At that moment, the matriarch of the family, Rita Loud, walked into the dining room. She immediately spotted Matt, causing her to smile.

"Good morning, Matt." Rita greeted.

"Morning, Rita." Matt greeted back.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked.

Matt looked at her, the same deadpan look not changing. "What is it?"

"Are you enjoying your stay here?"

"I mean, it's better than living on the streets." Matt answered honestly. "I don't know how you can keep up with 11 children. I don't even want to have 11 children, let alone any. I hate kids."

Rita took a seat in front of him. "Why do you say that?" she pondered.

Matt sighed through his nose. "Maybe because I hate myself." he answered. "Look at me. I'm a failure. I'm an alcoholic. I contribute to nothing to society whatsoever. I'm just another piece of flesh on this god forsaken planet." He heavily sighed once more. "I guess I don't want to have kids because I don't want them to end up like me. That and I know I'll be a very shit father, pardon my language. I don't think I'll have the responsibility to take care of a child, or the strength. If anything, I'm probably gonna be one of those people who will actually sell their own child for money… That's what my dad tried to do with me." Matt looked elsewhere, avoiding eye contact.

The mother of 11 looked at the poor adolescent. Never in her life has she heard anything so depressing, despite the fact that her 7th child and 6th daughter was a goth and often had a depressing attitude. She's heard about these kind of children but never in her life has she met one.

Until now.

"I'm sorry." she sympathetically apologized. "Your parents are just trash. They're disgusting people. You're more safe here than with those scumbags."

Matt scoffed. "Scumbags?" he chuckled. "I call them freaks of nature, or just freaks in general." His smile went away. "I may be an asshole to some of you guys but that's just me not knowing how to act with such nice people that not only gave me a home, but gave me another life. But, I have been wondering about a few things."

"What are those?" asked Rita.

Matt stared directly at her in the eye. "If some people are truly meant for family." he heavily answered. "Family isn't meant for anyone, ya know. There's not one thing on this planet that everyone shares the same interests. There's only three things that come out: the sun, the moon, and the truth. And the truth about me is that maybe I'm just not meant for family. Maybe I'm better off on my own, ya know?"

"But what would you do out there on your own?" asked Rita.

Matt looked down, pondering on the answer he was gonna give her. "Lets just say I have a promise to keep from a dear friend of mine." he answered. "Hey, you guys big on meat?"

"We all eat meat here. I don't think anyone of us are a vegetarian. Why?" she asked.

"I'm thinking of hunting you guys a deer, so that we can have it for dinner one of these days." Matt answered.

"Well, we certainly never had deer before." Rita admit.

"It's one of the best meats out there. Better than beef." Matt told her. "I can hunt one today and have it in the freezer, I can cook it up tomorrow."

"What's the occasion?" asked Rita.

"Haven't hunted in a while and I really miss eating cooked deer." He got up from his chair and slid his plate of leftovers towards Rita. "Here, you can have the rest of this." he told her. "It's not my kind of dish anyways."

With that, he left the dining room, all the while Rita simply stared at him, before smiling.

* * *

Jack sat on his chair in his nest, sporting reading glasses on his face. He was currently writing a Will to his fellow family members and friends, obviously scared about meeting his arch enemy, Jason, later that week.

Said Will read:

I, Jacques Thompson Sparrowson, being of full age and sound mind and memory, do make, publish and declare this to be my Last Will and Testament, hereby revoking and annulling any and all Last Will and Testaments or Codicils at any time heretofore made by me…

He eventually finished writing before sealing it up in an envelope; afterwards, he began praying for his safety.

Lincoln, meanwhile, was alone in the living room as he sat on the couch playing a video game.

 _Stop! You've violated the law. Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence. Your stolen goods are now profit._

 _Go to Jail_

 _\- Resist Arrest_

 _Pay Gold_

 _Then pay with your blood!_

Lincoln began mashing buttons as grunts and metal clashing sounds could be heard on the television. A heavily focused expression came up on his face as his tongue stuck out, a smile forming on his face. At that moment, three of his oldest sisters, Lynn, Luna, and Luan, walked up to him.

"Hey, bro. Whatchu doin'?" asked Luna.

"Playing a game." Lincoln answered, eyes still on the screen.

"Have you seen Matt anywhere?" asked Luan. "I wanted to talk to him about something."

"You mean ask him out while wearing a bikini?" asked Lincoln, eyes still on the screen.

Luan's face flushed red. "N-No!" she stammered.

"Sorry, I haven't seen him at all today." he answered. "Check upstairs. Maybe Lori's seen him."

"Lori's in her room." Lynn retorted. "You know we can't enter in her room without her permission."

"Well then, I don't know." Lincoln impatiently remarked.

 _Why. Won't. You. DIE?!_

More clanging and grunting noises could be heard, before a final grunt ended everything. "Can you focus on us instead of that dumb game, Lame-O?" asked Lynn.

"Nope." Lincoln harshly replied.

He continued to play his game, his character looting his enemy's corpse. However, his vision was blocked by his three older sisters, glaring at him as they stood in front of the TV. He groaned as he paused his game. "I already told you, I don't know where he is. Have you checked on the roof? He likes to sleep up there, you know."

"You're gonna help us find him, bro." Luna coldly responded.

"No!" Lincoln scowled at her.

"Help us, or else." Lynn cracked her knuckles.

"Are you serious, Matt?!" Lori's voice could be heard from upstairs.

"Found him." Lincoln commented in a smart ass sort of way.

His three sisters scoffed and rolled their eyes. They turned their attention to the stairs, where they could see Matt and Lori walking down them, continuing their argument.

"This is your problem, Matt! You fix it!" Lori shouted.

"Oh, you're right, Lori. You're absolutely right. You know, everything's my problem." Matt argued back in a sarcastic, smart ass tone.

"I am NOT going to have an argument regarding about your life, Matt!" Lori shouted as they reached the bottom of the stairs. "I really am NOT! I'm sorry that your parents were literally the worst parents in the world but you don't have to take your anger out on us! It's unfair!"

"You know what's unfair? It burns whenever I take a piss, but you don't hear my complaining about it. Buy hey, that's my fault and my problem, nobody else. I should've used rubber but I didn't because I got cocky and I wanted to go in raw. That's my problem and I have to deal with the consequences. I don't need your help or anyone else's so it's best that you leave me and my problems alone."

"I don't know who you think you are talking to me like that!" Lori boomed in anger. "I am the oldest out of every one of my siblings and you're living under our roof! That means you follow our rules and one of those rules is to never talk back to me!"

"I don't follow the rules. The rules follow me." Matt replied in a calm tone.

"You-" Lori got cut off.

"I don't live life by some rule book or manual. I live life the way I want to live it and if it means breaking a few rules, then so be it. All I ask is that you butt out of my situations and problems because if there are two things that my father taught me, is that I'm a disgrace to my family and I'll never make anything out of myself, and that my problems are _my_ problems meaning I have to fix them. I don't want your help nor do I need it. Do you understand?"

"You literally forgotten that while you're here, we're always gonna be with you." Lori retorted. "We'll meddle in your life however we please because we're a family. That's what family's do."

"All families keep secrets." Matt retorted back.

"Not our family." Lori said back.

"Well then you have a messed up family."

"I do. And now you're part of it whether you like it or not because we all know you aren't going anywhere anytime soon because you have no other place to go. It's so hard to read you sometimes, Matt! It's literally like a maze of emotions! It's like you're wearing a mask!"

"We all wear masks, Lori." Matt said. "But which one is real? The one that hides your face or the one that _is_ your face?"

"You are _SO_ irritable, Matt! You really are!" Lori shouted. "Jesus! I wish we never rescued you in the first place!"

This caused everyone to go silent, even Matt. Though he looked unfazed, inside he was deeply hurt and betrayed. The whole room was deadly quiet and very fragile, as if the sound of a cricket chirping could break the universe. Lincoln and his sisters looked in shock at Lori, their mouths open in shock. It took Lori a few seconds to realize what she said. She saw Matt nod his head at her, as if a theory of his was just proven, as his deadpan, yet sadly solemn expression, never changed. He turned around until Lori stopped him.

"Oh my God." Lori whispered in a regretful tone.

"Thanks dad." Matt said in a cold, sarcastic tone.

"Matt, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that."

"It's alright." Matt replied immediately.

"No, it's not!" Lori argued. "I didn't mean-"

"I said it's alright!" Matt shouted, glaring at her. Everyone jumped at his sudden outburst. "I get it. I'm just some guy. I'm not anything special, just a complete failure as a human. I'm not in a relationship, nor do I have any talent, nor am I blood brothers with anyone. I'm just some dude living here. What'd I expect from you guys? Actual love and appreciation? I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. My whole fuckin' life! All I've done is let someone else control my life!" He punched the wall in anger. "CONTROL MY LIFE!" he shouted. "Never gotten anything I wanted in my life! Never got a bed to sleep on! Just some old, rotten mattress! Never relied on anyone else but myself. Hell, I never relied on anyone for ANYTHING for that matter! Never got a pet dog named Dr. Pepper! Never got anything from Santa Claus! Never got to play a game of checkers before! Never got anything for my birthday, not even a birthday cake! So when I say it's alright, Lori, I mean it!"

He walked over to the couch and pulled out a case.

"Where're you going?" asked Lori.

"Hunting." Matt harshly responded. "I'll be back in a few hours. Don't call me."

With that, he stormed out the door, slamming it. Everyone turned to Lori, waiting for her reaction out of all this. To say the least, her reaction was as expected: shocked and speechless. She stood there, her mouth open, as she continued to stare at the door from where Matt was last seen.

She blinked rapidly, snapping herself out of her trance, before facing the harsh reality. "Shit." she muttered under her breath.

* * *

Birds chirped in the quiet woods, as the wind rustled against the many trees and leaves. It was always so nice out there in the woods, especially a naked sky with not a cloud in sight. When something goes wrong for Matt, he would usually come out here and start hunting to calm down and blow out his anger through a gun.

Hey, at least he's shooting something instead of the person that pissed him off.

The same white tailed deer with a white circle over its eye bent down, eating some blades of grass for its lunch. It chewed on its lunch before swallowing. It suddenly perked its head to the side, hearing a strange noise. After a moment of waiting for another noise to happen, it bent back down to continue eating.

In the bushes, not far from the deer, Matt hid from his prey. With the same scent remover as last time, he was practically invisible to the herbivore. He smiled, finally finding his game that he's been hunting for so long. This may be his chance to finally hunt and kill it.

He quietly and slowly aimed his 300 Blackout at the deer, holding his breath to avoid swaying. He aimed for the heart like a true professional, just like last time, aaaaand…

 ***Snap!***

The deer quickly perked its head up in a direction, before running away. Matt groaned in anger and frustration, before walking out of his hiding spot.

"God damnit!" he exclaimed in anger. "Alright! Come out here! I wanna know who the dumbass is that let my game get away so I can shoot them in the dick!"

Branches broke as the sounds of leaves being stepped on could be heard. Matt turned his attention to the the sounds direction, before growing a shocked and surprised look. His mouth opened, as he stood there dumbstruck.

There, in front of him, was his brother, Derek, covered in cuts and bruises. He panted as his lip was badly cut, bleeding from it. The two stared at each other, like a deer in the headlights, unable to speak.

A thick, fragile aura of silence surrounded the two brothers, both not knowing what to say. It was Matt who spoke up first and broke the silence.

"Derek?" he asked, not believing his eyes.

"Matt." Derek panted.

"What the fuck happened to you?" asked Matt, clearly shocked.

Derek panted some more, as he continued to grab his side in pain. "D-Dad." he stuttered in pain.

"What about him?" Matt asked in anger. "He wants me back to make my life even more miserable?"

"He's out of control." Derek quickly said, not wanting to be in more pain than he already is.

Matt's eyebrow raised in confusion. "What?" he asked. "What do you mean? Aren't you always sucking his dick, being the 'good' child and all?" asked Matt sarcastically.

"Matt, quit being a dick and listen to me." Derek winced in anger and pain. "You were right… He is a monster… and he's loose." Matt didn't believe a word his older brother by 2 years said. "Look, Matt… I am so… _SO_ sorry for the way I treated you… I didn't want to… but he made me."

Now this caught Matt's attention. "What?" he asked.

Derek hissed in pain. "He said… if I don't do what he said… then I'll end up the way you ended up." Derek explained. "Believe me or not, Matt, I didn't want to hurt you but I didn't have a choice… All those times where I kept bullying you, belittling you, abusing you, tormenting you… that was all Steve's doing, not me… You're my little brother, Matt… and I love you…"

Matt's emotions quickly turned to those of anger and annoyance. "Oh… fuck you!" he shouted. "You're just saying this just to let my guard down so that asshole can capture me, isn't it? I don't know what you two are planning but I'm not falling for it. I have a new home, a new family. A family that treats me right. I'm loved there, even if I don't show my love for them back. I'm a hard case, I can't control my emotions. It's hard for me to express love without my paranoia setting in. I'm afraid that they may betray and abandoned me, JUST like the way you guys did to me not more than a couple weeks back! So you can you either go run off to your daddy or I'll shoot you point blank right here, right now!"

"What reason would I have to just trap you?!" Derek shouted, hurting himself even more. "You think I did this to myself?! I told you that Steve is a monster and needs to be stopped! That's why I came here! After I showed my reluctance to obey his every command, after I _defended_ you, he tortured me to no end! He's not a father, he's a monster, Matt, and I've abandoned him to come see my little brother and apologize! The only reason why I came out here is to see if you can help me!"

Matt looked at his brother, struggling to believe his words. "You've really left him?" he asked. Derek nodded. Matt sighed, looking down. "So you meant all that? That you never wanted to hurt me? And that Steve made you do what you did… and that you really do love me as a little brother?"

"Yes." Derek answered.

Matt grabbed his head, unable to comprehend what he was trying to understand. "What has our lives come to, Derek? I couldn't even trust my brother for Christ sakes! What has this guy done to me?!"

"To us." Derek corrected. "And I want him dead."

"So what, you're asking me to kill him?" asked Matt.

Derek sighed. "It's just a threat." he admitted. "I just want him out of our lives. I want him to suffer the way we've suffered… Anything will do. His death, his arrest, anything to put that man out of commission… But I don't think I can do this anymore… I'm asking you for one, last request…"

Matt raised an eyebrow as a confused look fell upon his face. "What is it?"

Derek stared at his little brother in the eyes, with tears forming in his own eyes. "Let me end my suffering…"

Matt's eyes widened as a flabbergasted expression took over his face. "Shut up." he sternly said. "Don't say that." his voice cracked.

"Please… Please… Let me…" Derek panted.

He began walking towards Matt, reaching his hand out for Matt's gun. The long haired adolescent began crying as he backed up from his older brother. He tried his best to hide his emotions but they were too strong; tears fell from his eyes and off his cheeks. He breath began to shake in sadness.

He looked at his older brother right in the eyes, and saw nothing. Not even a hint of emotion, not even a grain of humanity was left inside Derek. His eyes were just dead, as with his face. He has never seen his brother like this before… and it broke him. It hurt him till no end, seeing his sibling just fall apart right in front of him like that… was the most heartbreaking thing ever, even worse than being kicked out of his family.

He wanted all this to be a nightmare, but he knew far too well that this was the harsh reality that the world placed him in. By now, he was full on crying, all the while avoiding Derek, not wanting to hurt his own brother. Even though he hated his family, he never wanted to hurt them in cold blood.

But the fact that his brother was asking for a mercy kill, for his own brother to kill him, that alone shattered Matt's heart in a million pieces. It was the worst feeling Matt has ever felt in a long, long time. Matt tried to hold back his tears, but they kept falling and pouring like a waterfall, dripping down his cheek.

At one point, his emotions got so much the best of him, his legs began to give, as he felt like he was going to fall down any minute now. But he fought them back as hard as he could, still hesitant to complete Derek's request. Matt was always the one to fulfill a dying man's wish or request. So right now, he was fighting whether or not to accept Derek's request of suicide, or to prevent it and help him.

It was a difficult fight that Matt was losing time, by mere seconds.

"Please." Derek planted a hand on Matt's gun.

"No!" Matt shoved Derek away, trying to hold back his tears.

Derek turned around and continued to walk towards him. "Please." he begged. He walked over to Matt again, whom was breathing heavily, now giving in to his emotions.

"Please." Derek begged some more.

"I'm not doing this again!" Matt sobbed while talking. "No!"

Matt shoved him away again, still in a fight whether or not to give in to Derek's request. He was stalling time at this point.

Derek turned around, the most pleaful look on his face. "Please, Matt… I just want to-"

Before he could finish his sentence, a cougar came out of nowhere and pounced Derek, pinning him down as it began to bite his flesh. He screamed in horrific pain as Matt's eyes widen and his mouth gaped open in shock. Derek screamed for help, his scream so loud that it could be heard from outside the woods, and they were deep, deep inside the woods.

Matt quickly grabbed his rifle and began unloading a whole cartridge into the cougar, not caring if it was free food or not. He just wanted it off his brother. After a whole cartridge, the cougar fell off Derek, dying in the process.

Matt ran up to Derek and looked at the damage. His neck had a huge bite mark take out of it, as with his arms and part of his cheek. Derek was in excruciating pain right now.

"M-Matt… P-Plea-ease… D-Do it!" Derek begged.

Now Matt had no choice but to put down his brother. Even though he didn't want to do it, he didn't want his brother to die a slow and a very painful death. He quickly grabbed his Beretta 92 and pointed it to Derek's head. He pulled the trigger and…

 **CLICK!**

He looked at the gun and pulled the trigger some more.

 **CLICK!**

 **CLICK!**

 **CLICK!**

Matt looked at the gun in disbelief. His gun was jammed, and it would've taken forever to unjam it. He looked back at his brother again, still suffering from the horrific pain and blood loss. He was dying very slowly and very fast. Matt looked down to see his hunting knife, an Ontario M7-B Bayonet, before a gruesome idea formed in his head.

He hesitantly grabbed the knife and hovered it over his brother's head. He didn't want to do this, but it was a last resort.

He looked at his brother in his eyes, both staring at each other with different emotions. Matt cried, his tears falling on Derek's corpse. "I'm sorry…" he whispered.

Finally, after much hesitation, Matt jabbed the knife into Derek's forehead and skull, blood shooting all over his body. Derek died instantly, but Matt's emotions got the better of him once more. He began stabbing Derek's head over and over again, all the while sobbing, not even caring if he was showing his emotions.

He just kept stabbing. Stabbing. Stabbing. Stabbing. Over and over again, until finally, he let go of the knife and threw it to the side. He fell on the ground on his back, laying next to his brother's corpse. He began crying up a storm, briefly getting up to look at the corpse of his dead brother.

After seeing it, he began sobbing loudly some more. He didn't even care if another cougar attacked him. It would do him a favor anyways. For all he knew, the whole world stopped as he could cry for hours on end, not caring if he stayed in the woods for the whole night or day.

He just kept crying…

* * *

The Loud children all sat on the couch, watching the Dream Boat together. It's been hours since Matt left, as it was already 5 o'clock, and he still hasn't come back.

If only they knew.

"I swear, if Karen doesn't pick Bronson, I'm gonna flip." Lynn mumbled.

"No way, dude!" Luna remarked. "She's gonna pick sweet, ol' Brock. He knows how to love. Love is all she needs."

"I wonder how that tattoo artist is doing." Lori said to herself, thinking in the past.

At that moment, the door opened and in came Matt. He quickly turned around and shut the door, before resting his head against it on his arm. He grunted, as if he was having a mental fight with himself.

"Hey, Matt?" asked Lincoln cautiously. "How's it going?"

Matt slowly turned around, revealing to everyone that he was covered in blood. His dark blue short sleeved buttoned up shirt and white muscle shirt underneath were stained in blood, his face painted with the substance as well. He dropped the suitcase containing his gun and equipment on the ground, not caring if it didn't belong there.

He shakily raised his hands and stared at them, covered in his brother's blood. He stared at his hands in horror and guilt, before grabbing his face with his bloodied hands. His breath was shaking as his eyes were pink, indicating that he's been crying uncontrollably.

The Loud siblings all stared at Matt with utter shock and horror, seeing him covered in blood. They were speechless. Even Lucy and Lana, both known for their gruesome and dirty hobbies respectively, were grossed out and horrified at what they were seeing in front of them.

Matt began slowly walking away, as if the energy inside him gone away. He grabbed onto the wall for support as he walked inside the dining room.

The siblings all looked at each other in concern, before they too followed Matt into the dining room.

They entered the kitchen where they could see Matt reaching into a cabinet and pulling out a bottle of whiskey. Without even grabbing a cup, he began drinking out of the opened bottle, not caring of the whiskey's aftertaste. He leaned on the refrigerator before sliding down and drinking some more.

At that moment, he began quietly crying to himself, as he took another gulp of whiskey.

"Ma-"

Lana was stopped by Lori, whom shook her head.

"It's just best if we leave him alone." Lori told her younger sister. "I don't think he wants to talk to us right now."

With a silent agreement, the siblings all walked out of the kitchen, sans Luna, Luan, and Lincoln. They hesitantly stayed there for several reasons:

Out of all the siblings, Matt was the most closest to Luna and felt comfortable around her, vice versa with Luna as well.

Lincoln felt like Matt was an older brother, the same went with Matt, except he saw Lincoln as a younger brother.

Luan simply just had the hots for him and had sexual desires about him.

After a moment of hesitation, the three left the kitchen to Matt, whom sat against the fridge, drinking the pain away. His quiet cries could be heard as the TV continued on in the other room. There was only one thing that he was thinking about right now, just one question he kept asking himself…

What now?

* * *

"What happened?" asked Rita.

She and the rest of her family were inside hers and her husband's bedroom, having an important meeting that required EVERYONE, not just the siblings, but everyone in the family to attend.

The Loud siblings stood uncomfortable in their place. "We don't know." Lori answered. "He just walked in covered in blood."

"Was it his? Is he hurt?" asked Lynn Sr.

"If he was," Lisa began. "his clothes would've been ripped. We all saw him. The blood was _outside_ of his body, meaning that it doesn't belong to him."

"He went out hunting. Maybe its deer blood?" asked Leni.

"Then why would he come home to cry and drink whiskey?" asked Lynn.

"Maybe he felt bad for killing the deer?" suggested Leni.

"Come on, Leni." Lincoln retorted. "He's a professional hunter! Why would he cry over something that's he's killed a thousand times, maybe."

"Why don't we just ask him?" asked Lola.

"Lola, sweetie." Lynn Sr interjected. "I don't think Matt's in the mood to talk to anyone, if you say is true. It's true, right?"

"Go in there and take a look yourself. He already drank a whole bottle of whiskey and he's downing a second one as we speak." Lori explained.

"Great." Rita said in a breath. "Matt's gonna be drunk. He's gonna have one heck of a hangover tomorrow so I think its best that we don't disturb him at all tomorrow, for both ours _AND_ his sake, okay?"

"Yes mom." they all said in union.

"We'll try to figure out what happened with him later but right now, I need to start prepping dinner." Lynn Sr announced.

"Honey, maybe we should order pizza tonight." Rita told her husband. "It's already too late plus Matt's in the kitchen drinking. I think its best that none of us enter the kitchen at all tonight."

"Fine. I'll get the phone." Lynn Sr gave in as he walked over to the phone.

The siblings all smiled at each other. "Well, one good thing came out of all this!" Lola exclaimed.

"Alright, you guys. Your dad and I are gonna discuss about Matt's situation in private." she told her offsprings. "Why don't you go watch some TV."

"Okay, Mom." Lincoln replied.

The siblings all exited the room and closed the door; they walked over to the couch and quickly sat down. "Gee. I hope Matt gets better soon." Lana said aloud.

"His soul is already tortured enough." Lucy grimly replied. "He's been stuck in the dark for far too long. No other mortal besides me can endure that amount of pain."

"He's been enduring it his whole life, Luce." Lincoln replied.

"Sigh. Another victim lost in the never ending cycle of the limbo." she said depressingly.

Lincoln simply stared, not knowing how to respond. "Riiiiiiiight." he said. "Let's just turn on the TV."

He grabbed the remote and pressed the power button, turning on the TV. Immediately what was shown was the middle of a news broadcast.

 _-making this the third time the celebrity's baby was found driving the car. In other news a shocking murder happened just today inside the Royal Woods Forest, not too far from the entrance. Police discovered a body with what appeared to be bite marks on the neck, arm, and torso of the body. Not only that but police discovered the body's head had been torn open, possibly due to repeated stabbing. Police have identified the body as 18 year old, Derek David Dillon, or more commonly known by his friends and family, King DDD, a name related to a character from the Nintendo series, Kirby._

The family all gasped in shock as soon as the name was said.

 _The body of a dead mountain lion with multiple bullet wounds shot across the entire body laid next to the poor young adult. Police theorize that the cougar attacked this poor man and was shot to death by an unknown person. However, they have come to the conclusion that the head wounds were in fact due to repeated stabbing of a sharp object, most likely a knife. Police are unsure of what they are calling this as this could be possibly a hunting accident or a murder, due to the head wounds. They theorize that the head wounds was most likely to end poor Derek's misery as he would've died a very slow and a very painful death._

"Oh my God." Lori muttered.

 _With Derek Dillon being the victim of this story, police are connecting this murder to an earlier incident that happened just a week before, when Derek's little brother, Matilda Dillon, or as he's known by his classmates, Matt, was shown getting into an argument with a local Burpin' Burger employee, Sharla McDougle, whom was later fired._

 _"Here's your water, transvestite."_

 _"Yeah, fuck you too."_

 _"Listen here you brat. I put up with a lot of strangers but you have got to be the most rudest of them all."_

 _"This is coming from a person who just called me a transvestite. I apologize that you can't understand simple orders."_

 _Police tried to find where Matilda lived only to find out that his house was burned down. They had, and still have no idea where the Dillon's are living at this moment. With Derek making a shocking appearance a week later, police are still baffled on the mysterious disappearance of the Dillon's, as well as Matilda, whom was last seen attending a birthday party as an assistant of small birthday gig business known by Funny Business, created by 14 year old, local resident Luan Loud._

Luan didn't even smile at her name being mentioned on the news. She was too focused on what was going on with the broadcast.

 _Both Matilda and Luan were present at the time of the birthday gig, as shown by this video recorded by Sharon Soule._

" _Hey, Matt!"_

" _What?"_

 _"What did the giraffe say to the hippo?"_

"Get out of my way you fat hippo?"

" _Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"_

 _This was the last time Matilda was ever seen. However, police theorize that Matilda may be a friend of Luan and are possibly going to speak with the girl, hoping to find answers. The whereabouts of the parents of the two Dillon brother, Steve and Gina, are currently unknown._

 ***DING DONG!***

The group all jumped at the sudden sound of the doorbell being rung. They all looked out the window to see a police officer standing in front of the closed door on the porch.

"They got here fast." Luan said.

"They're here for Luan." Lisa said aloud.

"They're taking Luan away!?" Leni asked in a panicked tone.

"Unlikely." Lisa replied. "They're most likely going to be asking our dear sister a series of questions regarding the whereabouts of our friend, Matt."

"But if we tell the cop that we have Matt, and he finds him looking what he looks like right now, then he's gonna connect the pieces and assume that HE killed Derek!" Lynn argued.

"He probably did, Lynn." Lisa replied. Everyone gasped. "But it may have been a mercy killing. You heard what the news lady said. Derek would've died a slow and painful death. Matt probably killed him to end his suffering."

"By stabbing him in the head?!" Lincoln asked, clearly afraid.

"His gun may have jammed or possibly ran out of ammo! I'm not sure! I wasn't there!"

"So what do we literally do?!" asked Lori.

"I don't know! I'm not a friggin' computer!" Lisa shouted. Suddenly, her face lit up as an idea formed in her head; an excited smile swept across her face. "Oh… Oh maybe I am! Ha ha!" she turned to her siblings. "Alright, this is what we do. We have Luan talk to the officer and answer the questions. Luan," she turned to her older sister. "you're going to have to lie about Matt. If he asks if you've seen him, say the last time you saw him was last week at the birthday party and you haven't heard from him since. Luna," she turned to the rock star. "he's likely going to ask you questions as well, as you were shown in the video at Burpin' Burger. Again, lie to the officer. Say that the last time you saw him was at Burpin' Burger, Luan, tell the officer that you met Matt at the party.

Meanwhile, Lynn and Lincoln will try to get Matt out of the kitchen if the officer comes in, as they are the two strongest in the family. You'll have to hide him in the basement. The officer is unlikely to check down there. He's unlikely to even step inside the house at all. What matters is that Matt is hidden from the officer's vision. Bringing him upstairs is too risky. Everyone else, just do your own normal thing. Sit on the couch, watch TV, hide in the vents, go to the bathroom, anything to make everything look normal. All we need is Luna, Luan, Lynn, and Lincoln to do their own respective jobs, everyone else can do whatever they want. Got all that?"

Everyone stood silent for a brief moment.

"Can you repeat that?" asked Lana.

"JUST MOVE!" she shouted.

Everyone scrambled to their positions, with Luan and Luna staying at the door and Lynn and Lincoln heading inside the kitchen. Everyone else went to do their own thing. Luna opened the door, revealing the officer standing there.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Good evening, ma'am." the officer replied. "My name is Officer Castro. I'm here to ask you and your sister some questions."

"Regarding what exactly?" asked Luan, trying to sound innocent.

"Have you seen Matilda Dillon anywhere?" Officer Castro asked.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Lynn and Lincoln stood over Matt's slumped body. He was still conscious but was very drunk, and very stubborn.

"Come on, Matt. Get up!" Lynn exclaimed.

"Go away." Matt grunted.

"Matt, please get up." Lincoln asked kindly.

"I'm not gonna say it again, Snow White! Get out of my face!" Matt began chugging down the bottle of whiskey.

Lynn groaned in annoyance. "I didn't want to do this." she said.

"Do what?" asked Matt.

Suddenly, the jock used all her strength and force to punch the lights out of Matt; the drunken teen's unconscious body fell to the floor, while the bottle of whiskey shattered upon impact of the floor.

 ***SMASH!***

Luan and Luna turned around, as the officer looked passed them, hearing glass breaking from the other room.

"What was that?" asked Officer Castro.

"Must be one of our siblings." Luna lied, well technically she told the truth. "They break stuff all the time."

"One time, our sister Lana broke the ice tray." Luan told. "She was on _thin ice_ afterwards. Hahahahaha! Get it?" she asked after telling her pun.

"I told you! That was Lola! Not me!" Lana could be heard upstairs.

Matt lied on the floor, unconscious, while covered in whiskey; Lincoln looked at Matt's body in shock as Lynn simply held what was left of the whiskey bottle, basically the head, with a deadpan expression.

"Why'd you do that?!" he asked.

"He wasn't getting up anytime soon." Lynn reasoned.

"Yeah, but now there's whiskey and glass scattered all over the floor!"

"We'll clean it up later. Let's just get Matt down into the basement."

She grabbed his ankles as Lincoln grabbed his head. The two began carrying Matt down the steps leading to the basement, Lincoln trying his best to not fall down the flight of stairs.

"When was the last time you've seen or heard of Matilda?" asked Officer Castro to Luna.

"Last I saw him was at Burpin' Burger last week." Luna lied. "Then he went AWOL on me, yo."

"But wouldn't he had to come here to meet your sister so they could go to that birthday party?" asked Officer Castro.

"I met him at the party, officer." Luan lied. "It was a _circus_ over there after all. Hahahahaha! Get it?" she asked after laughing at her own pun, referencing her many animal theme jokes over at the party.

Officer Castro grew an awkward expression, not knowing how to respond. "Sure." he lied. "So none of you have heard nor seen Matilda lately?"

"Nope."

"Nu-huh."

"Okay. What about the rest of your family?" asked Officer Castro.

"Trust me. There's too many of us. By the time you'll get your answers, it'll already be passed midnight." Luna replied.

"Oh, I'm sure your family isn't that big. Maybe or or two siblings." He looked passed them to see everyone causing a ruckus, contradicting what he said earlier. "Uh, nevermind." he said. "I'll uh… I'll check up on you guys later. Maybe in a few days."

"We'll be waitin' for ya." Luna replied.

"You two and your family have a nice night now." Officer Castro walked away from the porch.

"You too!" Luan exclaimed as Luna closed the door.

As soon as the door closed, Officer Castro sighed. "I should've gotten my medical degree." he mumbled to himself. "Would've actually studied instead of cheating on my medical exam like my step-brother."

Luna and Luan leaned on the door and slid down, both sighing in relief. "Phew." they both said in union.

"Is he gone?" asked Lisa.

"I think so, yeah." Luna replied.

"Well let's bring Matt back up so he can rest on the couch."

Lincoln and Lynn walked up the basement stairs when they were met by their sisters. "Hey, Lis." Lincoln greeted. "Is the officer gone?"

"Yes, brother unit. He has left the premises." Lisa answered.

Leni went to open her mouth and say something before her older sister stopped her. "Don't ask." Lori interjected.

"He left that fast?!" Lynn exclaimed in surprise. "Well what was the point in bringing Matt down into the basement?!"

"It was a precaution, fifth eldest sibling." Lisa told her.

"Some precaution that was." Lynn rolled her eyes.

"Why is there whiskey and glass all over the floor?" asked Lori.

Lana bent down to drink some of the whiskey before Luna grabbed her and got her away from the alcohol. Lana pouted towards her older sister.

"Lynn knocked out Matt with the bottle after punching him." Lincoln answered.

"Of course." Lori rolled her eyes. "Always have to go overboard, don't you?"

"Shut up, Lori!" Lynn shouted. "At least I got him down into the basement!"

"' _We_ ' got him down into the basement." Lincoln corrected.

"No one's talking to you, Lincoln!" Lynn shouted. Her brother rolled his eyes at Lynn's immaturity.

"Well… Wake him up!" Luan ordered.

"Did you not hear me, Luan?" asked Lincoln. "Lynn _knocked_ him out! That means he's not getting up for quite a while, genius."

"How long are we talking about?" asked Lori to Lisa.

"How should I know?" asked Lisa. "I'm not the one who knocked out our friend."

"I did my job, okay?" whined Lynn.

"Or smashed the window, or destroyed mom's vase, or broke our brother's _ENTIRE_ arm!" Lisa went on.

"OKAY! WE GET IT!" Lynn shouted.

"Thanks again, Lynn." Lincoln sarcastically said.

"SHUT UP, STINKOLN!"

"...I'm thinking… No." Lincoln replied in a sarcastic manner.

"God! You're just like Matt! All sarcastic and apathetic. What's wrong with you?!" Lynn shouted.

"Well he did say that he and Lincoln are one of the same person." Luna said aloud.

The group looked at their rock star sister. "When did he say that?" asked Lori.

"The night when he and Lana spent the day together bonding." Luna replied. "He said that he and our bro are completely the same. That Linc was Matt and Matt was Linc, as if they were actually the same person. Like the same soul taking control over different bodies in the universe. Like soon what happened to Matt that made him become who he is today will soon happen to Lincoln, to the point where Lincoln actually _TURNS_ into Matt, as if they were always the same person to begin with, like their one of the same."

After Luna finished her creepy tangent, everyone was left speechless a little freaked out.

"Geez, Luna." Lincoln spoke up. "Lighten up. You sound like the cranky old guy in the Friday of the 13th movies. 'Abandon all hope ye who enter here.'" Lincoln quoted.

"Yeah, leave the creepy stuff to Lucy, alright?" suggested Lori.

"Indeed." Lucy replied.

"Oh. Sorry." Luna apologized.

"So what do we do with him?" asked Lincoln.

"Just leave him down there." Lori responded. "He'll wake up soon, and when he does, I doubt he would want to sleep in the basement."

"Lori, he said his father used to make him sleep in the basement for all his life." Lisa reminded her. "I doubt he would want to stay in there."

"But… his brother." Luna replied in a sorrowful tone.

Everyone grew silent at the mention of Matt's brother, obviously still uncomfortable at the fact that Matt had to mercy kill his own brother. "Let's give him some space when he eventually does come up." Lori suggested to the group. "Have him take the time to grief… It's the right thing to do."

Everyone silently agreed by nodding, before leaving the kitchen.

* * *

Everyone, sans Matt, sat at the kitchen table currently eating their pizza that their father order. Right at that moment, a figure appeared at the entrance of the kitchen and dining room; it was Matt. Everyone looked at him, waiting for a reaction from him.

Instead, a dead expression fell on his face, as if he just didn't care about anything, literally ANYTHING, anymore. He shifted his attention to the family and then at the pizza. Suddenly, he walked away slowly in a sad manner, dragging his feet as if he was a zombie; he soon left the dining room and plopped on the couch, quickly falling asleep.

Everyone whom was in view of the living room watched him just fall on their couch and pass out. They were incredibly worried about him.

* * *

Matt turned on the water to the bathroom sink faucet, cupping his hands with the liquid. He splashed his face in order to get rid of the sleep sand in his eyes. It was late at night and using their bathroom during this time was a risky move.

He sighed in relief and tiredness as he turned off the faucet.

 _ **Matt!**_ Someone shouted.

Matt jumped as he turned around to see if anyone was behind him. Strangely, no one was there. "Somebody there?" he asked.

 _ **More than you know**_ _._

He gasped, now frightened by the invisible voice that surrounded him in the darkness. "Who said that?" he asked, now scared.

 _ **Don't act like you don't know.**_ The voice said once more. _**We've been by your side since Day 1.**_

"Where are you?" he asked.

 _ **We are everywhere and nowhere at once. Feel the freezing breeze slithering over your skin.**_

Matt entered the hallway, careful not to make a noise. He looked all around, to see if anyone was playing tricks on him. He immediately turned to Luna and Luan's room, thinking that the prankster was playing a prank on him. He looked down to see that the door was still closed, no signs of anything coming out from the bottom anywhere.

That room was checked of the list.

By now, he began moving slower, the fear inside him weighing him down like an anchor tied to his ankle. He looked everywhere, from the doors to the stairs.

 _ **We're behind you!**_

Matt quickly turned around and for a second, braced himself for a jump scare. However, it never happened. Instead, he grew a confused look.

"I don't understand." he said.

The camera rapidly pans to the left, revealing Matt's reflection in the bathroom mirror, except his reflection was smiling wickedly at him.

 _ **Poor, poor, Matt.**_ By now Matt began walking towards his reflection. _**You can never seem to catch a break from all this suffering and psychological trauma. We're surprised that you haven't lost your sanity yet… until now.**_

Matt entered the bathroom, his eyes constantly on his reflection.

"Who are you? What do you want?" he asked in a frightened tone.

 _ **We're hurt that you don't recognize us, Matilda. We are the coldest, most darkest part of you. Deep, DEEP with inside your body, buried from the wounds and scars that you've been given throughout these years of endless abuse. We simply want what's best for both of us. To get rid of those that hurt you, or wronged you in some way. Abuse must not be countenanced. Your enemies must be educated.**_

Matt quivered in fear as he gulped. "What do you mean?"

 _ **Don't play dumb with us. Remember what happened to your friend, Gum-Drop?**_

Matt shook after the traumatizing memories flashed before his eyes.

 _ **Or to your brother?**_

"What do you want?!" he asked again in a loud whisper

 _ **To help you, Matilda! But we can't achieve our goal if you keep acting like this! You deserve much more than this. You deserve respect. Why should you take up this abuse from your family when you could be a king. Imagine your father, scared like a helpless kid, as he suffers OUR wrath for once.**_

Matt began backing up, the most terrified expression on his face he's had in years. His breathing began shaking, as his reflection just smiled even more devilishly.

 _ **Or… imagine his corpse below us.**_

Matt's entire body trembled in fear, as his reflection began laughing as if all the evils in the world as just been released.

 _ **Heh. Hehahahahahaha!**_

* * *

 **(Before you ask, the mirror scene in the end was inspired by the mirror scene from Sam Raimi's first Spider-Man, back in 2002. Why you may ask? 'Cuz it fits perfectly in the predicament and situation that Matt is in right now.**

 **He had to kill his own brother and realized that his father is a cold hearted beast. Matt's trying to fight off his vengeance but his subconscious, which is clouded with hate and rage, tells him otherwise. Matt's trying to move on but his inner demon is also fighting against his decisions, and it's breaking him apart from the inside.**

 **Matt's life is truly miserable, so it makes sense that he's beginning to hallucinate his own inner demon after one last nail in the coffin: mercy killing his own brother. Matt is practically destroyed from the inside, to the point where he gave up on his life a long time ago, as well as stopped caring for it. His life is falling apart and nothing can put it back together, not even a new family. His mentality is so broken that he's unfixable, shattered beyond repair. He's in a very dark place right now, so hallucinations and inner demons fit right well into this part of Matt's life.**

 **Alright, enough being dramatic, I've got shit to do. Don't know when the next chapter'll be up, don't care… Alright, that's enough.**

 **KOKBYE!**


	18. Just Some Guy

**(Hey, this story is now legal.**

 **Okay, bye.)**

* * *

Jack the Sparrow began packing a few things in a backpack, such as a shirt, a toothbrush, bird seed, the necessities. It _WAS_ going to meet his arch enemy in a different city, one that was across the state of Michigan from where he is now. He was not looking forward to this trip but he knew that if he didn't go on with Jason's request, that would make the falcon even more angrier.

He sighed as he looked down at his tree to the ground; he quickly placed the backpack on his back and just as quickly flew off, to face the inevitable.

Matt sat quietly at the dining room table, staring at his crossed hands. Though he had a hangover, he had so much durability that he was able to take a lot of punishment and give just as much, if not more, back. This was no exception. He powered through the hangover as if it was nothing, though his head was killing him.

He sat at the table for hours, ever since he got up, not moving a muscle as he was deep in thought.

Right at that moment, Luna walked into the dining room, only to notice Matt. She grew an uncomfortable expression on her face as she looked at her friend, whom continued to stare at his hands. Not wanting to disturb him, the rock star sister continued to walk towards the kitchen, until her friend spoke up.

"I had to kill him. My brother." Matt grimly stated, halting Luna.

Luna, whom was in the entrance to the kitchen, turned around to face her male friend. "What?" she asked, thinking she heard wrong.

"I had no choice." he said, still looking at his hands.

Luna walked over to the other side of the table, where she stood in front of Matt. "Everyone has a choice." she said.

Matt stayed silent as he just continued to stare at his hands; the silence was horrifically sharp. "Not me." he quietly answered, his voice having no life in it whatsoever. Luna gave Matt a sad, sympathetic look. "My brother was dying… He needed mercy…" Finally, he looked up at Luna, staring straight into her eyes. "I was scared." he quietly said. Luna continued to give Matt her sad, sympathetic look. "He told me that our father was getting out of control. That he was becoming a monster… I believed him… He was all beat up and ready to fall, like a wild animal attacked him… before one actually did… He said to me… if he didn't do what Steve said, that he'll end up just like me. Alone, helpless, nowhere to go."

"Sounds like _he_ didn't have a choice." Luna replied. "But he was still your brother and I don't know how much pain your father put on you guys to the point where he had to obey his every command, even if it meant to hurt his own little brother, no sibling should ever hurt their siblings. Take us for example. We fight all the time and we get mad at each other but in the end, we all still love each other."

Matt looked back up at Luna, looking straight into her eyes. "He was a dick but he was my brother…" he said. "...and I forgave him. He had his short lived redemption… and now it's gone just like him."

After finishing his rant, he looked back down at his crossed hands, while Luna continued to give him a sympathetic look.

 ***DING DONG!***

The sound of the doorbell alerted everyone in the the house, as proven when Lori came walk past the entrance to the dining room. She opened the door and immediately grew a shocked look at who was standing in their doorway.

"Hey, loser." the person said.

"Crash?" Lori asked in surprise.

Yes, Crash. Crash Jackson. The same Crash Jackson that torments and bullies Matt in school. However, he wore a beanie over his head, hiding the abomination of a haircut Leni gave and the penis tattoo Luna had inked on from two weeks ago. He did NOT look happy.

"Where is he?" he asked.

"Where's who?"

"You know who exactly I'm talking about!" Crash yelled.

Lori flinched after the sudden outburst.

"Who is it?" asked Luna as she, Luan, and Leni came to the door. Immediately, they were not happy with their visitor. "Oh. What is _he_ doing here?"

"Shut up!" Crash shouted. "You tattooed a dick to my forehead!"

"Explains what you are." Luan remarked.

"You shut your mouth!" Crash pointed at Luan. "You aren't even funny! You're just annoying!"

"What do you want?" asked Luan, getting tired of his shouting.

"I want him." Crash answered.

"Who?" asked Leni.

"That chick-with-the-dick! Matt! Or, Matilda, as he's called."

"We don't know where he is." Lori lied.

"Bullshit." Crash retorted.

"A police officer came by yesterday and asked the same thing." Lori replied. "And we said the same thing as well. We don't know where he is."

"I could see him through the window looking all sad and mopey like he always is!" Crash pointed to the window.

The girls all flinched as their lie suddenly burst like a bubble. "Why do you want him so bad?" asked Luna.

"Because he fucking did this to me!" Crash took off his beanie, revealing his nightmarish 'accessories'. "I know for a fact that you four are too good and so high up your own asses that you won't even chance doing this because you're too afraid that you'll get in trouble!"

"No, that's only Lori." Luna replied.

"Shut up." her older sister chirped.

"Whatever! I know that freak had you guys do this!" Crash continued shouting. "I want him out here so I can beat his ass and teach him who rules over who and to never mess with me ever again!"

"Yeah, good luck with that." Luan replied. "This is our house, our porch, our property. You're not getting to him."

Right at that moment, Matt walked passed the four and confronted his bully. Though he was brave enough to confront the brute, he still had his dead expression on his face. He looked up to see Crash glaring at him.

"What do you want?" Matt asked, no hints of life in his voice whatsoever.

Crash began chuckling in a eerie manner, as if he was a serial killer about to kill his archenemy. "I've been waiting for this ever since the tattoo parlor." he said. "I'm gonna enjoy this for so long and I'm gonna take it nice and slooooow."

"I'm not in the mood, Crash." Matt replied, still having a dead voice. "I don't want to fight you."

"I don't want to fight me neither." Crash replied.

"Please, Crash." Matt said. "Walk away… Please."

"Yeah. Not happening." Crash replied.

He suddenly lifted his fist and threw the hardest punch he ever thrown, completely knocking Matt into the wall. The long haired teen groaned in pain as he grabbed his left cheek. He turned around, anger in his eyes, as he stared into the brute's eyes.

Crash didn't consider that enough punishment, as he threw another punch… only for Matt to catch it. Matt suddenly punched Crash in the elbow with all his force, completely breaking his arm.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Crash screamed out in pain as he grabbed onto his elbow.

Matt then grabbed his bully's shirt collar and brought him in for a headbutt to the face, causing the brute to fall down. Matt, improvising during the fight, grabbed a brick that was lying on a patch of grass. While Crash was on the ground, grabbing his arm in pain, he was suddenly brought up as Matt grabbed his shoulders.

Without even hesitating, Matt began beating Crash's face with the brick in his hand. He began bashing over and over again, a never ending assault. The girls all stood there as they watched Matt relentlessly beat Crash into the ground, blood splattering onto the ground.

By this time, Crash had lost consciousness, though Matt did not stop with his assault.

Realizing that he was going too far, Luna stepped in to break up the fight. "Matt! Matt! Matt!" she kept calling out. "That's enough! That's enough! Stop this right now, dude!"

She grabbed his shoulders and tried to pull him back; not wanting to end the assault, Matt gave no hesitation and punched Luna off of her, not even realizing who he hurt. Luna fell on her back onto the stairs, grabbing her face in pain. Matt turned around to see who tried to stop him… only to be met with a shocking discovery.

Luna grabbed her cheek in pain as she terrifyingly looked up at Matt. The male teen suddenly felt guilt and remorse, as he turned around to face his enemy. To his shock, Crash was lying on the ground in a small puddle of his own blood, completely unconscious.

Anger soon diminished inside his body and was replaced with horror. Matt looked at the brick, covered in his foe's blood, and dropped it to the ground. He looked at his hands once more, as they shook in fear, along with his now shaky breath.

Images flashed through Matt's head, images of Derek's corpse lying in the patch of grass. Voices echoed through his head, several of them being his father's and some of his own. They were all filled with yelling and abuse, filling Matt's mind in unimaginable mental pain.

He quietly backed up from Crash's body as he stared horrifically at it, before turning around. The once happy girls he saw were now terrified of Matt, not knowing what he would do.

"Oh, Jesus Christ." Matt whispered in terror. "Aw man… Oh God."

"Matt." Lori quietly said, gaining his attention. He expected her to be beyond angry… however, she looked to be calm, yet slightly scared. "Go inside… Please."

Matt slowly walked over to the girls before turning around, seeing his enemy sprawled onto the ground. He turned back around and looked at the four oldest Loud sisters. "I'm sorry." he quietly apologized.

He walked back inside the house as the four looked at Crash's body, just lying on the ground.

* * *

Matt sat on the couch, leaned forward, as a long and guilty expression was painted across his face. Along with guilt, he felt terrified… terrified of himself.

Sure he had done some bad things, very bad things. Things that could be on a list, a certain list that a certain little scientist read aloud in front of him. He was only 15, perhaps 16, he didn't know. The point is, he was only a teenager and already his life is just falling apart as he just watches it, with nothing he could do.

In his teenaged years, he already has a criminal record, murder being one of the crimes. He hasn't had a good life, the complete opposite to be exact. It was because of his family's betrayal that caused him to be who is today. This person who fears himself.

He's already been to juvie for 2 years and been to jail once, and he still hasn't changed. His mind was broken, his reality was fading, and his humanity was slowly diminishing. He doesn't know how much time he has left before he completely loses everything and until then… he's scared of himself.

His silence was broken when the front door opened, though Matt did not look at the person entering, not even a quick glance.

The oldest sister walked in, eyeing Matt with a concerned look. Realizing he was in no mood to talk, she began to make her way to the kitchen.

"How is he?" Matt spoke up.

Lori was slightly startled by Matt's sudden voice, surprised that he actually spoke. She re-entered the living room and began fidgeting with her hands.

"Want the good news or the bad news?" asked Lori.

"Don't fuck around with me." Matt replied in an emotionless tone. "I asked you a question: How is he?"

Lori sighed, not wanting to bring more sadness into her friend's life. "His orbital is crushed and I don't think there's much hope for the eye." Lori solemnly answered. "The doctor said that he may be in a coma or if he's still passed out from the pain. He won't know how the eye is until he wakes up."

Matt remained motionless, not even moving a finger as he continued to stare at the ground; his hands were crossed by his knees. "I'm turning into him." Matt quietly said.

Lori blinked. "What?" she asked.

"My dad." he answered. "I'm becoming him. A violent, psychopathic monster that doesn't give a rat's ass about anyone else… My worst fears have come true."

"Now, we don't know that-"

Matt turned his head to Lori, revealing pink, angry eyes. "I just put a kid in the hospital and blinded him in one eye!" his voice cracked, as if he was holding back tears. "This is no better than abandoning your own son, your own child!"

"Matt, you're just shocked at what you done." Lori replied. "If anything, that's a good thing. You know what you did was wrong and you're regretting it, hoping you could turn back time to rethink your thoughts and to avoid that scenario all together. If you say that your dad is a violent man that has no remorse, this very situation proves otherwise. You may have placed a kid in a hospital but if you really think about, he's had it coming for a long time. And you regret what you did so that doesn't make you into your dad. It just means that you lost your temper."

"This is just the start." Matt retorted. "Sure, I may be remorseful now but that doesn't mean I'll be in the future! Trust me on this, Lori, I know what I'm becoming and turning into and I am NOT liking it!"

"You still have time to make it up." Lori told back.

"By how?" asked Matt. "Send some flowers and a get well card with the words, 'I'm sorry.' written in it? Because if I remember right, the cops are looking for me and if I show my face in a public hospital, people are gonna be dialling the cops faster than when Luan sees my penis! And that doesn't even make up the fact that Crash is gonna report me _to_ the police after he wakes up!"

"So what are you saying?" asked Lori.

Matt stood silent for a brief moment. "I don't know!" he threw his hands in the air. "I can't go anywhere! I can't leave the city because I have nowhere else to go! This place is my only home now and I'm guessing that you guys wouldn't want me around after the stunt I just pulled with Crash earlier today."

Lori sighed. "It's a tough situation, Matt." she said. "We're all under a lot of stress."

"Some more than others." Matt grumbled.

"We'll figure out what to do when Crash wakes up." Lori said.

"Who knows when that'll be." Matt quietly grumbled.

"We'll just have to wait." Lori said as she began to walk up the stairs. She stopped however and turned back to Matt. "We'll figure this out, Matt. We won't let you go through this alone, not after what happened last time." She said as she recalled a certain squirrel suit themed incident.

She began heading up the stairs, leaving Matt to his thoughts… his dark, dark thoughts.

* * *

The whole family, including Matt, sat at the dinner table, currently eating… well dinner, whom all had normal expressions on their faces, sans Matt, whom was still shook after what happened earlier today. He barely touched his food, like always, obviously not in the current mood to fill his stomach.

In all honesty, he'd rather starve that night and go to bed hungry than to feed. He felt like he didn't deserve it anyways. After all, he did have to mercy kill his own brother, the second time he had to do that in his entire life, and put a kid in the hospital after brutally beating him with a brick.

The family took note of of his silence but decided not to take any action, already knowing what happened earlier. They all knew one thing: Matt was becoming more and more broken and unstable each day. And even though it pains them to admit this, they might have to get rid of them.

Matt became somewhat of a role model to the younger siblings, even though the male teen paid little to no attention to them. They all saw him as some sort of big brother, grandpa mixed because of his wisdom and don't care attitude. Lincoln was obviously one of these kids who took admiration to Matt.

Which also brought more pain onto him when he began thinking if Matt was safe with them or if they were safe with Matt. He didn't want to see him leave, as he was, of course, like a big brother to him. But the fact was that Matt's mind and sanity is slowly diminishing by the second and one more traumatizing event may just do him in.

The white haired pre-teen thinks that Matt will someday snap and slowly go insane until there's no hope of saving him. To the point where Matt was a lost cause, even to a professional therapist. Matt himself knew this as well, and he was on the same level as everyone else, which is why he's mostly kept quiet these past few hours, not trying to start anything else up.

He suddenly grabbed his knife and fork, deciding now it was useless to starve himself for tonight. He began cutting into his chicken and slowly began eating it.

Finally, after long moments of complete silence, the patriarch of the family, Lynn Sr, began speaking.

"So I got the newspaper today at 4 P.M." he announced. "Can you believe it took the paper delivery boy that long to deliver a single newspaper to our house?" he complained.

"Now that sure is breaking news. Hahahahahaha! Get it?" asked Luan after she laughed at her own pun.

"Maybe he was busy." Lana suggested.

"To deliver this morning newspaper 9 hours late? I don't think so." her father retorted back.

"So what does the paper have to say, Pop-Star?" asked Luna as she chewed on her food.

"Luna, don't speak with your mouth full." Rita reminded her.

"Well nothing much." her father replied. He suddenly grabbed the newspaper from underneath his chair and began reading it. "Just some businesses opening, the aftermath of DempsCorp suddenly closing, old houses being sold somewhere in Petoskey-"

The last part suddenly caught the attention of Matt, turning his eyes elsewhere besides his food. Matt was so shocked at what he heard, that he accidentally sliced a part of his palm with his knife as he went to grab it out of his hand.

"OOOWW!" Matt yelped, startling everyone. He grabbed his wrist in pain as he hissed, his eyes tightly shut. He opened them up to look at his wrist, realizing a cut on his palm. "I'm bleeding!" he exclaimed.

Realizing the situation at hand, he began ignoring the pain and his injury and turned his attention to Lynn Sr.

"What did you say?" Matt asked.

Everyone were confused on why Matt was ignoring his injury, including their father. "About the new housing in Petoskey?" the father of 11 asked.

"Yeah, gimme that!"

Matt reached across the table and quickly grabbed the newspaper out of Lynn Sr's hands. He opened it up and began reading the article about the Petoskey housing.

Suddenly, his eyes widened in shock. On the article was a big, two story house that looked like to be in the 50's, that had a gate and a pathway as well. Matt widened his eyes some more.

He's seen that house before!

He began having a flashback, back when he eavesdropped on his father, Steve, and his associate, Scarface, also known as Joseph Hindwick. In the flashback, he remembered seeing the photo flying towards him, landing in front of him as he hid behind the basement door. The photo was a picture of the same house as the one in the article.

Matt came back into reality, realizing that they were the same house. And then the pieces began falling into place. Matt now knew where his father was: in Petoskey. And he knew EXACTLY where he is and what the house looks like.

All around him, his hearing thickened, temporarily becoming deaf. His heavy breathing rapidly increasing as a constant ringing noise could be heard all around him. He was becoming angry.

He quickly flipped the page and turned to the page of where the article was. He found the page and began skimming through the article, hoping to find an address.

Unfortunately, he didn't.

"There's no address!" Matt exclaimed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" he yelled in frustration and rage.

He began squeezing his fist so tightly that the blood from his cut began dripping onto his plate of food, right on top of the chicken. The family watched as they witnessed Matt scream at the top of his lungs, and were slightly afraid of him. Finally, Matt began to calm down, dropping the newspaper onto the ground and burying his face with his hands.

He lazily pulled his hands off his face, smearing blood all over the right side of his face. He didn't care at this point. He stabbed a piece of chicken with his fork and ate it, unknowingly ingesting some of his blood as well. He REALLY didn't care at this point if he ignored the fact that he swallowed his own blood.

The siblings looked on in extreme concern, but yet they were still slightly afraid of him. They turned to each other, silently coming up with a plan.

* * *

"Something is seriously wrong with Matt!" Lori announced.

Lincoln and his sisters were currently holding a Sibling Meeting, regards about, you guessed it, Matt.

"You mean how he freaked out at the table?" asked Leni.

"He's keeping secrets from us." Lori deduced.

"What made you come to that conclusion?" asked Lincoln.

"Think about it." Lori told him. "He has yet to even tell us about his past. He hasn't even revealed what his family even did to him aside from the fact that they forced him to sleep in the basement at times. Lisa, what are your thoughts about him?"

The 4 year old prodigy adjusted her glasses. "I can only come up with a hypothesis." Lisa replied. "Since he's been talking about how much 'abuse' he's endured from his previous family, I highly doubt that him being locked in the basement would do this much mental instability and damage to a person this young of age, whom is near adulthood and full maturity."

"He told me that he was mentally, physically, psychologically, and even sexually abused by them." Luan spoke up.

This caught everyone's attention. "What? When?" asked Luna.

"When we came back from the birthday party when it was my turn to hang out with him that day." Luan answered.

"This may very well be the missing factor in this abusive equation." Lisa pondered out loud. "However, I still have a funny feeling that there's more to this. As far we all know, he's a Man of Mystery or the Soul with the Scars. There is no possible way to know what he went through if he will not share with us. His entire life is almost a mystery. We pretty much have the summary or it but we don't have the whole story."

"Actually, there might still be a way." Lola chirped up. Everyone turned to her, intrigued on what she had to say. "When he and I were having that tea party the other day, granted he didn't want to join so he made it miserable, he mentioned about having an online diary on his computer."

"He must mean his laptop." Lisa replied. "If we could find it and access it, we may find out more about his past."

"Isn't that invading someone else's privacy, dude?" asked Luna.

"You guys do it all the time with me. Why is this any different?" asked Lincoln, a little annoyed.

"Fair point." his sister shrugged it off, agreeing with him.

"Well we literally have no clue about him or his past so I say this is our only option." Lori announced out loud.

"Sure it's dirty and wrong, but sometimes these things need to be done in order to get what we want."

"Ain't that the truth. I do it all the time with you guys." Lincoln said. Everyone turned to him, in a mix of surprise and an offended manner. "What? I don't always play by the rules. You know how many times I've lied to you girls just to get what I want and you fell for it? So much that I lost count."

"Are you… lying now?" Lynn hesitantly asked.

Lincoln smirked. "Maybe." he grew a smug grin.

"So do we all agree to look into Matt's cyber diary to find out what happened to him and how we can help him?" asked Lori. "Because over the time that he's been with us, I can honestly view him as a friend. Maybe even a close friend, and I'll be damned, excuse my language, to see one of my friends literally become some miserable pile of trash."

"He's like a brother I never had… He's a brother I never had." Lincoln corrected himself. "I'm in."

"It may be wrong, but it'll help our friend. I'm totally in, dudes!" Luna exclaimed.

"Affirmative in my end." Lisa responded.

"You can count on us!" Lola and Lana said in union as they both saluted.

"Only my poor soul shall be stuck in the darkness." Lucy said in her usual monotone voice. "I'm not gonna have another one be stuck with me. I'll do my best to save him."

"I'm, like, totes in on this." Leni raised her hand.

"Count me in on the team, baby!" Lynn enthusiastically exclaimed.

"I'm in like he'll be in me someday." Luan said as she grew a dreamy, enchanted look on her face as she stared at the ceiling.

She lowered her eyes to meet her siblings', only to see giving her disgusted looks. "Really, dude?" asked Luna.

Luan's face began to flush madly. "Sorry." she sheepishly apologized.

"Then it's settled." Lori spoke up. "We'll find Matt's laptop, hack it, and see his personal diary- You know, the more that I'm discussing about this, the more I'm realizing how bad this idea is. This is literally invading someone's personal privacy and I'm not sure how I can do that."

"The feeling will go away." Lola reassured her. "You'll never forget your first time invading a person's privacy."

Luan stood uncomfortably after her younger sister said that. "Resisting the urge to make a dirty joke." she said aloud to no one in particular.

* * *

Meanwhile, just on the other side of the wall, Matt was having his own meeting as well. However, it was just him and his reflection in the bathroom mirror.

Matt leaned against the wall, his head resting on his arm, as he began contemplating his next plan. One side wanted him to just forget about his family and continue living his life with the Loud's. Another part of him wanted to get revenge on his father for what he'd done to him over the years. That part of him was in the bathroom mirror.

 _ **You can't stand by that wall forever, Matilda. There are people whom want to use this restroom as well. You need to take action. You need to take vengeance.**_

"I can't." Matt replied in a weak tone, as if he was almost about to cry.

 _ **Abuse must not be countenance. Your father must be educated.**_

"I don't want to hurt anyone anymore." Matt replied in the same tone. "I've already done so much bad shit in my life, I don't want to keep doing more. My life is already falling apart and I'm just 16, or 15, I don't know and I don't give a fuck. Just please, leave me alone." he begged.

 _ **We're trying to help you, Matilda, but you keep turning down our offer.**_

"Because it's bad and illegal."

 _ **Like your afraid of the law. There's a reason why you have a criminal record after all, Matilda.**_

"I don't want to." Matt's voice shakened, like he was crying a bit.

 _ **Would you rather live the rest of your life knowing that your father got away with all this or… do you want him to know what he did and further educate on how he will never do what he did ever again, if you catch my drift."**_

Matt turned around, revealing that his cheeks were red as his sclera were pink; few tear stains were on his cheek as a few tears were falling off of them.

"Why do you want me to do this?" he asked.

 _ **Because you and us are the same person, Matilda. Somewhat like how you and that boy Lincoln are the same… The same person… The same entity… The same soul… Once you pass we'll take control of that boy, as you live on through him. He is one of us.**_

"He's got nothing to do with this." Matt retorted in a weak tone.

 _ **Either way… your father shall not be let go easily. He must pay for his actions.**_

Matt exhaled, before more tears fell from his eyes. "I can't." he said.

 _ **YOU CAN! You just don't want to! You MUST bring your vengeance upon your father! THERE IS NO ROOM FOR DISCUSSION! You will make him PAY… FOR ALL THE HE'S DONE!**_

"You can't make me!" Matt shouted.

 _ **WE ARE YOU! WE ARE ALL OF YOU! WE ARE PART OF YOUR TWISTED, DARKENED, BROKEN MIND! AND YOU WILL NOT DISOBEY ONCE MORE! You may all you want, but we will never leave your side and we will always be within you, inside you! We'll be in your every dreams and turn them into nightmares. Every reflection, you'll see us. We'll make you go insane and We'll make you do all the bad shit you dare not to do. That is IF you do disobey us and when you do, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. We'll always be by your side, tormenting you for the rest of you life. DO WE MAKE OURSELVES CLEAR?!**_

By now, Matt was full on crying, having giving up the fight. "Yes." he said in between quiet sobs.

 _ **Good… Now… It seems that we have some preparation to commence. Petoskey is far away. We'll take your motorcycle, we'll be there in no time.**_

"We can't." Matt answered. "A spark plug is being held together by a piece of gum. It'll break before we even get out of the driveway."

 _ **Then we'll walk. We'll cross the Michigan forest. It'll take some time, about 2 or 3 days.**_

"How am I supposed to survive out in the forest for 3 days? I'm just some guy who has no idea what he's doing." asked Matt.

 _ **Don't play dumb with us. You've spent enough time in the wilderness to survive out on your own. You've got nothing to worry about. You're the king of the forest.**_ Matt sighed and looked down, finally giving up the fight and going along with his dark self's plan. _**Now get some rest. You'll need it. By tomorrow mid-morning, our journey for vengeance will commence.**_ His reflection then grinned a wickedly smile.

* * *

"Is there a reason why we're hiding down in the basement?" asked Lola. "It's so dark and gunky in here!" she complained.

She and the rest of her siblings were, as she said, in the basement, as Lisa was currently trying to access Matt's computer.

"If he finds out that his computer is missing, he's going to be asking us where it is." Lisa responded. "And knowing Matt, he'll barge right into our privacy without any care nor regret. So we have to hide down here as this is the least suspected place he'll search, if not the last."

Lisa continued to type on the computer, trying her best to access it.

"Can you go any faster, Lis?" asked Luna. "I don't want to get caught trying to hack into Matt's computer by him."

"First off, it's not hacking, we're simply guessing what his pass code is and I'm the one doing it, not you." Lisa reminded her.

She continued typing on the computer until the words ENTER PASSCODE appeared on the screen.

"Alright, here's the difficult part." Lisa said. "I'll try my best but I can't guarantee that this'll work. 'Enter Password Data'... Hmm… 'Enter Passcode'." She began typing out a password with the keyboard. "Let's try hunting." She typed out the word.

ERROR

"Huh? Error?" pondered Lisa. "How about weed?"

ERROR

Lisa groaned in slight frustration. "Vaping?"

ERROR

"Have you tried 1234?" asked Lynn. Lisa turned to her sporty sister with a 'really' expression on her face. "What?"

She groaned again. "Ugh! I swear if that's the password." she muttered as she typed out the numbers. ERROR. "Oh thank Lord."

"Ooh! Like, try his birthday." suggested Leni.

"We don't know his birthday… and he doesn't either." Lisa retorted.

"How about 22475?" Lincoln asked.

She typed once more.

ERROR

"AGH!" Lisa groaned loudly. "This is impossible!"

"Just try some more, okay." Lori said.

Lisa began typing away as she tried everything to unlock his computer. She began using some of Matt's interests and hobbies as a form of a password. She hoped that some of them would work.

"Matt?"

ERROR

"Matilda?"

ERROR

"Dillon?"

ERROR

"Rings?!"

ERROR! 1 LAST ATTEMPT LEFT

"Huh?! NO WAAAAAAY!" Lisa yelled as she grabbed her face in frustration and flung her head back.

At that moment, Lisa began having a flashback from when Matt took off his shirt the first time. She suddenly remembered that he had a tattoo of a cross with the words "Gum-Drop" tattooed on it, along with his friend's real name.

"Gum-Drop!" she exclaimed. She began typing on the keyboard once more. "Yes. G-U-M-D-R-O-P."

******* ACCESS GRANTED

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "We're in!"

"Quick! Check his diary." Luan exclaimed.

She pointed an app that simply said 'diary'. Lisa moved the mouse and double clicked it and it soon opened up the app, revealing numerous of written pages. The young, 4 year old prodigy began reading the most recent post.

" _What is the point in living your life if you were just made to suffer by the hands of your family?_ " Lisa read. " _For years, I have endured their pain and abuse only to not fight back because of the sole reason of being scared. I was afraid that if I did fight back, I would only end up more hurt than what I was before. I didn't want to but I had to. I had to endure everything until one day, it all took a turn for the worst. As I am writing this, I am sitting on the couch of a family that supposedly took me in after my parents abandoned me on the side of the road. After that, I was attacked and mauled by wolves, only to be rescued by this family. After finding out that I didn't have a family to go to, they decided to take me in. For that generous action, I am forever in their debt, although I am cautious of them. If there's one thing in my life that I taught myself is to never trust anyone, including yourself._ "

After reading the last written entry, the group was left speechless. They knew that Matt had a broken mind, but now they realized that he had a broken soul as well. This was far worse than they thought it was.

"Holy." Lynn muttered.

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph." Lincoln muttered under his breath.

"I didn't know it was this bad." Luna said.

"Lori, I'm scared." Lola hugged her big sister's legs.

"And that was only the last entry." Lisa reminded them. "We still don't know anything about his past just yet."

"Read another log entry." Lincoln ordered.

The young scientist began scrolling up the pages in search of a different entry. She settled on a random one and began silently reading it to herself.

"What does it say?" asked Lori.

"Other than that he was born in Heidelberg, Germany for 8 years and then moved here to America where he was adopted… nothing." Lisa answered.

"Wait, he's adopted?" asked Luan out of confusion.

"That's what the screen says." Lisa replied.

"No wonder he was so reluctant to live with us and so eager to move out." Lincoln said out loud. "He doesn't really trust any sort of family since his last two walked out on him."

"It appears he has trust issues and all this bullying that he acquired from school, as well as the abuse from his family, has really taken a toll to his mental stability." Lisa explained. "Now that he's been left by his previous family, his trust for anyone has severely plummeted. Ergo, doesn't fully have trust in us nor anyone in general and does not seek for help because he's afraid they, or we, may betray him as well. He feels as if he was never meant to be any part of a family, hence his silent, lone wolf attitude and his perception that he has to only look out for himself. However, because of the trust issue, he as well does not have full trust in himself because of his two family abandonment issues… Also it explains how he can speak fluent German."

"That's one mystery solved." Luan said.

"What about the next entry?" asked Lincoln.

"Something about a cheese grater and a beanie." Lisa answered.

"No, what does it actually say." Lincoln clarified.

"That's what it says!" Lisa explained, pointing to the screen. "'Something about a cheese grater and a beanie.'"

Lincoln took a closer look towards the screen to get a better look. "That's all he wrote?" asked Lincoln, baffled.

"He may have been under the effects of cannabis at the time." Lisa suggested.

"Well, what about the other ones?" asked Lori.

"I don't think I can look at the other entries." Lisa said. "There's over a hundred pages on this doc! This'll take well over 3 hours to read over this and take notes to find out the one true answer to our current predicament! And we don't have time for that! Matt will be wondering where his laptop is any second now. I'm sorry I have to say this… but this diary is a lost cause."

Everyone, sans Lisa, groaned in frustration.

"Its as if he's just some guy living here." Lincoln said out loud.

"Great." Lola complained. "Just great! Who's dumb idea was this anyways?!"

"Yours, Lola." Lana answered.

A look of realization was painted onto her face. "Oh." was all she said.

At that moment, the sound of a door opening upstairs could be heard. Everyone gasped. "Someone's coming!" Lori whispered. "Quick! Hide!"

At lightning fast speeds, each and every one of the Loud siblings quickly hid behind the boiler, not wanting to get spotted. They were concealed in the darkness and looked towards the stairs to see whom was coming down. To their surprise, it was Matt, slowly walking down them as he mumbled to himself.

"Go back! Go back!" Lori loud whispered to her siblings.

They all moved back behind the boiler.

"Can't believe there's only one bathroom in this place." Matt mumbled to himself as he walked to the boiler. "Can't take a fucking piss without someone hogging the restroom. Have to do my business down here."

He suddenly turned around the boiler and was currently in front of the Loud siblings, whom were all huddled together, staying as quiet as possible. However, they were quite shocked to see that Matt has yet to even see them, despite the fact that they were right below him, as his knee level.

Matt began unbuckling his belt and suddenly unzipped his pants, releasing his penis in the air. He grabbed it with one hand while the other arm was freely hanging by his side.

Suddenly, he began peeing onto the floor, sighing in relief, while also grunting and groaning in pain. Unbeknownst to him, he was peeing on all over the Loud children. Because of his shaky demeanor, the piss was flung everywhere, getting on each and every of the kids. They all kept quiet, a difficult task for Lola herself, as they tried not to puke or gag in disgust.

Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, Matt shook his dick, shaking any excess pee off his member. He placed his penis back in his pants and buckled up his belt again.

"I really should've used a rubber back then." Matt mumbled to himself.

He began walking off, as the Loud kids began to move after their uncomfortable surprise encounter with their guest. However, because of their movements, Leni accidentally bumped a box, causing a glass globe to fall all over the ground, shattered to pieces.

Matt stopped in his footsteps and turned around, wondering where the noise came from. "Huh?" he said out loud. "What the?" He began walking towards the boiler once more, a little investigation unhinging. "Hey! Whoever that is… you better be a stripper."

He walked over to the boiler and turned the corner, standing where he once pissed. Everyone backed up again, knowing for sure that they were getting caught.

However, to their surprise once more, Matt stared directly in front of him and even looked down, where he would be staring directly into the eyes of the Loud children… but his expression didn't change, as if he couldn't see them despite the fact he was staring directly at them.

"Nothin'." he mumbled before turning around. "Must've been the wind."

He proceed to walk to the stairs and began walking up them, before leaving the basement and closing the door. Then, a pause was followed suit afterwards. A moment of silence passed through the area… before it was broken by someone yelling.

"HE PEED ALL OVER MY DRESS!" Lola shouted in disgust and anger.

* * *

 **(If you didn't get the secret meaning of this title, _Just Some Guy_ , it refers to what Matt said during his argument with his inner demon self in the mirror. It also refers on how the Loud children still have no clue about his past or early life and in their eyes he's "just some guy" as well as a friend, though the friend part is slowly diminishing and leaning towards the some guy area...**

 **Alright, I'll shut up now.)**


	19. The Beginning to the End

**(Stan Lee... You were my idol... My inspiration... My superhero. You were the greatest superhero to ever exist in comic, television, or cinema. You were greater than Spider-Man, Captain America, Deadpool, Iron Man, and even those that you didn't even created such as Batman, Superman, Green Lantern, that's how great you were. You were, and always will be the best, the greatest, the most spectacular superhero known to man.**

 **My very first comic was actually the very first Spider-Man. Amazing Fantasy #15. "With great power comes great responsibility." You had the power to create any superhero into reality and you held responsible for that. You never got cocky, you never got corrupt, you stayed true to your heart and words... and to know that you passed really breaks my heart.**

 **You may be gone but you will never be forgotten. Not only are you in a better place... you are in the best place. I'm crying as I'm writing this because you meant so much to me. From every cameo you had in your Marvel movies, to television, even to the comics. You were the King of Cameos, even having a cameo in that crap film Teen Titans Go to the Movies. Yes, I said it. It's crap, but this is not what this note is about... it's about accepting a loved one, an idol, accepting the fact that they are gone.**

 **You've made a special place in each and every comic reader's heart, including mine. I remember when I saw you in Spider-Man 3... "You know, I guess one person CAN make a difference... Nuff said." Oh, how right you were Stan. One man, one Stan Lee, made a difference in the comic universe.**

 **You will certainly be missed, Stan... but your legend will live on through many lives. You will certainly NEVER be forgotten as you will always be in our minds and hearts, a very special place we all put you in... I don't know what else to say other than that...**

 **We all will miss you, Stan Lee... but we will never forget you.**

 **Rest in Peace, Stan Lee. Excelsior...)**

* * *

After finding out, or failing of finding out, about Matt's past, the Loud siblings pretty much gave up that day and went to bed. The next day was completely different. They all had several ideas on how to find out more about his past but there were still parts of their ideas unfinished and foggy. They decided to think more into them in the near future.

Currently, it was tomorrow after their failed attempt at Matt's computer. Lola was still ticked that he accidentally peed all over her.

Lincoln sat at the couch, remote in his hand, browsing whatever was on TV.

 _Sir, it appears you have a severe case of broken dick… Oh! I'm sorry. That's my father-in -law's report. Pffft HAHAHAHA! Okay, in all seriousness. Sir, it appears you have a severe case of getting beaten up._

 _Oh god._

 _It also appears that you're white._

 _Oh my._

 _But there is more bad news._

 _Aw jeez. I don't think I can handle anymore stress, doc. Just give it to me._

 _Very well. Sir, it appears you have a severe case of… getting married._

 _Oh god. Oh no. Oh no. Oh god!_

 _Hm-mm! You're stayin' with me now, sugar! You ain't ever leavin' my side, white boy._

 _Oh Jesus frosting!_

' _Our Marriage is a Disease' will be back after these short messages._

 _Hi, I'm Dick Johnson. Are you a lonely, single person that nobody loves? Then go fuck yourself._

"They make anything into a commercial these days." Lincoln muttered to himself. Right at that moment, Matt came into the room, searching for something. "Hey, Matt… How are you holding up?"

"Where's my bong?" he asked, ignoring the question.

"You're what?"

"My bong. My rainbow colored bong that I stole from some pothead at school. Where is it?" he asked, searching underneath the couch.

"I don't know. The last time I've seen you use it was days ago." Lincoln answered. "Is it for your Crohn's disease?"

"No shit." Matt answered, getting up from the floor. "Why else would I need it?"

"I don't know. Why do you have a suitcase?" Lincoln pointed out.

Matt looked beside him to see a suitcase by his feet. "I dunno, dude." Matt answered quickly.

Lincoln raised a brow. "Matt, are you leaving?" he asked, fearing the answer.

"No!... Not entirely." Matt answered.

"What do you mean by that?" the young boy asked.

"Well… Ya see… The thing is…" Matt stammered. "I'm going on a camping trip." Matt lied.

He couldn't tell the truth. If he did, that'll be admitting to committing murder… which is basically what he was doing. The real reason why he had the suitcase was because he was planning to head to Petoskey to murder his father, after his inner demon told him so.

But if he told Lincoln that, that'll set red flags everywhere. So the only other option was to lie, and fortunately for Matt, he was a damn good liar. He could easily win in any poker tournament.

"Camping trip?" asked Lincoln.

"Yes, camping trip." Matt repeated. "I'm gonna be camping a few days in the forest so I might need my bong in case my disease starts acting up again. Don't wanna die in the forest slumped against a tree now, do we?"

"No, I guess not." Lincoln replied. "Sorry that I haven't seen your bong lately, Matt."

"It's alright, Snow White." Matt replied. "I'll try to find it somewhere. I'm good at tracking things."

"How long are you gonna be camping?" asked the white hair pre-teen.

"Three or four days. Five at the most." Matt answered. "I'm good at surviving out in the wilderness. I'm a hunter after all. You've gotta learn these things."

"I guess." Lincoln said.

"See you around, Snow White." Matt then walked off.

"Later." Lincoln replied.

He continued to sit on the couch, contemplating and forming a plan with inside his head. He smiled confidently.

* * *

The Loud siblings were gathered in Lori's room after Lincoln called an Emergency Sibling Meeting. Of course with any Emergency Sibling Meetings, everyone was ticked off that he interrupted their activities for the day.

"So why'd you bring us here now, Stinkcoln?" asked Lynn, clearly ticked. "Wi-Fi's down so you can't read your favorite Ace Savvy fanfiction?"

"No! Beca-" Lincoln stopped himself and gave Lynn a disappointed look with a hint of annoyance. "Really?" he simply asked.

Lynn stifled a laugh while stupidly grinning.

"No! Because I figure out a way to finally find out more about Matt's past!" Lincoln enthusiastically exclaimed.

"We already tried to computer." Lisa reminded him.

"N-No. No, not that." Lincoln stammered, baffled on why she would even suggest an already fail option.

"The diary didn't work, so why even suggest it?" asked Lola.

"I wasn't suggesting it. If you could hear me out-"

"His parents left the city and his brother's dead." Lori reminded Lincoln.

The 11 year old boy hung his head down. "How come you guys don't have that much confidence in me?" he asked in a hurt tone.

"Because you're 11 and you don't have any special talents while your younger siblings, even Lily, already found theirs." Lynn replied.

"Thank you for reminding me of my useless life and my nonexistent will to live, Lynn." Lincoln replied in an even more hurt tone with a hint of sarcasm. "I'll be sure to remember this before I end my life in the next few weeks." He gathered his composure. "What I'm trying to say is that Matt is going on a camping trip and-"

"How will that help us?" asked Lori, interjecting Lincoln.

"SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH LORI AND LET ME FINISH!" Lincoln boomed in rage and anger. Everyone flinched in fear after their only brother's outburst; said brother cleared his throat. "As I was saying. He's going on a camping trip for a few days and this may be our chance to find out what happened in his past."

Luna was about to speak. "Don't you dare, Luna. I mean it. I will end you!" Lincoln gave an eerie smile. Luna lowered her finger. "Now here's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that we go with Matt on the trip to get our answers."

"How… does that… benefit… to our situation?" Lisa cautiously asked.

"Easy... We ask him." Lincoln replied, smiling.

"Say what now?" asked Lisa, baffled.

"I mean, have we even _tried_ to ask him about his past?" he inquired.

"That's true." Lori replied. "How come we never thought of that?"

"Because you're women and you have no clue about your surroundings." Lincoln replied.

His sisters remained quiet after that last remark. "He's makes a point." Leni chirped up.

"So you're saying that we go with Matt on his camping trip… out in the forest?" asked Lola cautiously.

"Yep." Lincoln replied.

"Ewwww! No way!" Lola declined in disgust. "I'm not going to some icky, dreadful forest where there's dirt and mud and bugs and worst of all!... No running water." Lola's pupils shrunk at the last sentence.

"There's rivers in the forest, y'know?" Lincoln reminded her.

"Come on, Lola!" her twin sister begged. "This'll be fun! It'll _just_ be like Scratchy Bottom Campgrounds!"

"You do realize that place sucks right?" asked Lola. "The only reason why it was good last time was because Lincoln offered to be our personal servant for the entire trip."

"Yeah, I almost died from that bear you know. I'm so traumatized from it that I developed a fear of bears now. Thanks for saving me." Lincoln sarcastically spoke up.

"Well, Matt will be our personal servant for this trip." Lana said. "He's bound to know how to survive in the wilderness if he's going alone for a few days."

Lola did some quick thinking, putting her finger to her chin. "Well… Okay. Fine. But I'm bringing bug spray." she quickly added.

"No need for a can, Lola." Lana replied, crossing her arms. "You've got your bug spray right _here_!" she pointed to herself while confidently grinning.

"...Still bringing it." Lola replied with lidded eyes.

"You sure this idea will work, bro?" asked Luna.

"Of course it will!" he enthusiastically replied. "Since when have my plans ever gone wrong?" Luna raised her finger, about to speak. "Don't answer that." he quickly interjected.

"Well if you think it'll work… What the heck. I'm in." Lynn replied.

"Same bro." Luna added.

"It'll be a walk in the park for us. Or in this case. A forest." Luan began laughing.

"I'm, like, totes in." Leni said. "I always wanted to go camping for a while now."

"A few days out in the dark wilderness… Wicked." Lucy smiled, a rare sight to many.

"Hmmm… I suppose I should clear my schedule in case this ploy of yours, brother unit will work." Lisa stated.

Lincoln smiled as every one of his sisters agreed with his plan. "So, when does he leave?" asked Lori.

"Today." Lincoln replied.

Soon, their smiles disappeared, shocked expressions replacing them. "What?" asked Luna.

"You mean to tell me he's leaving today?! As in right now?!" Lori shouted.

"Well, I don't know about right now at least-"

Lori interjected her brother. "Everyone! Pack your bags! Quickly! Before we lose, Matt!"

Immediately, everyone skedaddled out of their eldest sister's room, to pack their belongings for the trip. Leni began to run out as well before being pulled back in by her older sister.

* * *

About a half an hour later, each of the siblings walked down the stairs, all carrying backpacks filled with camping supplies.

"Does everyone have what they need?" asked Lori.

"I have my sunscreen and bug spray!" Lola exclaimed.

"A lighter. Just in case." Lynn held a lighter.

"Flashlight! To see in the dark! As well as my Spector Goggles." Lincoln placed the goggles on his head.

"Pegs! For tents of course." Lisa said.

"Mallet!" Luna held a mallet.

"Sleeping bag" Leni pointed to her backpack.

"Frying pan!" Lana called out, wielding a skillet.

"It seems we have everything we need." Lori said out loud. "Alright. Let's go find, Matt… Where is he?" asked Lori.

"Where's who, honey?" asked Rita as she and her husband walked into the living room.

"Matt. Where is he?" repeated Lori.

"Oh, Matt left an hour ago." Lynn Sr replied.

"WHAT?!" everyone asked/shouted at the same time.

"Where?! Where did he go?!" Lincoln asked in a panic tone.

"I heard him say something about going to the Michigan State Forest." his mother answered. "Don't know why though."

"He's going on a camping trip for a few days." Lori answered. "We wanted to join with him but I guess we're too late."

"Not unless you take Vanzilla with you." Lynn Sr. said. "With her, you'll be there in no time… 20 minutes at the most."

"All of you are going camping?" asked their mother.

"Yep." Lola answered.

"To get in some bonding time with him, together. Like a family." Luna smiled.

"Awww. How sweet." Rita grew a smile. "Well, be safe out there and make sure to use bug spray."

"Got you covered, Mom." Lola held out her can.

"Come on!" Lori announced. "We literally need to go now! Or else we'll lose him! Come on!"

"Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!" Lincoln exclaimed as he and sisters ran out the door.

Rita and Lynn Sr stood alone in the house, looking at the closed front door after their kids ran out. The patriarch sinisterly grinned at his wife.

"So… Now that we're alone… You wanna get freaky?" he slyfully asked.

"Oh, Lynn." Rita cooed. "You naughty man."

"Yeah, not as naughty as you'll be in a few minutes."

Her husband grabbed her hand and pulled her into their bedroom, locking it, for some "personal" time with each other. Meanwhile, Lily sat on the ground, a traumatized expression on her face as her pacifier sat in her mouth. She began playing with her letter blocks, spelling out a word: HELP.

She sucked once on her pacifier; still retaining the traumatized look.

* * *

A person walked away from a booth located in a small mini-mart. Behind him, the Loud sisters walked over to said booth, ready to purchase some snacks for the trip.

"Hello." said the man behind the booth. "Can I help you with anything?"

"Yes. Hi, uh… Can I have 11 bags of gummy worms please?" asked Lori.

The man reached behind him and placed exactly 11 bags on the counter. "That'll be $10.89." the man stated.

Lori placed a 10 dollar bill along with a single dollar bill onto the counter. The man took the money and opened up his cash register, pulling out some coins. "11 cents is your change. Have a nice day."

"You too." Lori replied. Suddenly, she stopped herself. "Oh, by the way, has a boy with long black hair come by here recently? He was wearing a dark blue opened buttoned up shirt with a white T-shirt underneath. And baggy black jeans as well."

"And nail polish. He wore nail polish as well, dude." Luna added.

"And lots of rings and bracelets." Lola stated, she too adding to the list.

The man grew a concentrated look, thinking hard to remember. "Hmmm… I've seen him alright."

Lori's face brightened. "Great! Which way did he go?"

"Over there." the man pointed to a gap in the forest.

"How long ago was that?" asked Lori.

"Ten, fifteen minutes." the man replied.

Lori slightly nodded her head. "Alright. Thanks." she said.

She and the rest of her sisters walked off and waited in the parking lot. They sat down by some benches, waiting for their brother to return. "Ugh! What's taking Lincoln so long?!" Lola complained.

"Calm down, Lols." Lana told her twin sister. "He's getting some help… Right?" she looked up to her big sister.

"He said he would, dude." Luna replied.

"Well he better hurry up with that help!" Lola pouted.

As if on cue, Lincoln and a Hispanic man turned the corner, arriving back at the group. Lincoln and the Hispanic man appeared to be talking, holding a conversation together in Spanish.

"Te llevaré a ti y a tus hermanas al bosque, pero no te llevaré en todo el camino. He escuchado demasiadas historias sobre este bosque y solo los llevaré a ustedes hasta que alcancemos la señal de peligro. (I will take you and your sisters to the forest, but I will not take you all the way. I have heard too many stories about this forest and I will only take them to you until we reach the danger sign.)" the man said in Spanish.

"Entiendo. No te estoy pidiendo que viajes con nosotros. Solo necesito tu ayuda hasta que encontremos a nuestro amigo. (I understand. I'm not asking you to travel with us. I just need your help until we find our friend.)" Lincoln replied in Spanish.

"Woah, dude." Luna said in awe. "Where'd you learn to speak Spanish?"

"Ronnie Anne taught it to me." Lincoln quickly replied, wanting to translate so they could hurry and head into the forest. "The guy says that he'll help us go into the forest but he won't go any further until we reach the danger sign. He's heard too many stories about this forest and he wants stay as close to the highway as possible."

"What kind of stories?" asked Lori.

Lincoln turned to the Hispanic man. "¿Que tipo de cuentos, señor? (What kind of stories, sir?)" he asked in Spanish.

"Campistas que fueron demasiado lejos en el bosque y nunca regresaron. (Campers who went too far in the forest and never returned.)" the Hispanic man replied.

Lincoln turned to his sisters. "He's heard stories about campers who've went too far into the forest and never returned."

This made his sisters a little scared, Lola gulping, swallowing her fear.

"Tengo la radio. Tengo el telefono de satélite."

"He has a radio and a satellite phone." Lincoln translated.

"Cuando me necesites, llámame. Llegaré con un equipo tan pronto como pueda."

"Right, when we need him, we'll send a call and he'll be there to help us with a team." Lincoln continued translating.

"Pero no me quedaré en el bosque." the Hispanic man shook his head.

"But he will not stay in the forest." Lincoln translated.

"No me quedaré en ningún lugar cerca de este bosque."

"He won't stay anywhere near this forest."

"Se llaman esta bosque el Bosque de la Muerte."

"They call the forest… ¿Bosque de la Muerte?" repeated Lincoln, not knowing if he heard right.

"Sí."

"Uh- Wha-?... What does that mean, dude?" asked Luna.

Lincoln turned to his sisters and sighed, readied for their reaction to the translation. "The Forest of Death… He says." he shook his head, as if he didn't believe the Hispanic man.

The sisters all grew uncomfortable, fidgeting in place after hearing the translation. For the first time in her life, Lynn was actually afraid to go on this journey, feeling a little bit nervous; albeit "a little bit" was an understatement. Even so, she still retained her calm exposure, even though deep inside she was regretting going on this trip.

* * *

Jack the sparrow landed on a tree branch, his miniature backpack still on his back. He suddenly pulled out a map and examined it, before putting it back and flying away.

Matt walked into the forest, all alone. Various animals sounds and noises surrounded him, from birds cawing, to crickets chirping. He wielding his signature 300 Blackout hunting rifle with a mounted scope. He ventured far into the forest, already in the middle of his journey.

He walked quietly in the forest, unable to be frightened by the unknown, as he has experienced worse and has been out in the forest alone many times.

It wasn't until he heard branches snapping behind him. That's when he knew he wasn't alone. He turned around, not expecting to see some uninvited guests: The Loud Children.

"Hey, Matt." Lincoln greeted.

"Jesus Christ, Snow White!" Matt exclaimed in anger. "What the hell are you guys doing here?!"

"We came to go on your camping trip." Leni happily answered.

"We thought it'll fit for some bonding time together." Lori added as well. "Not to mention that it's dangerous to be out in the forest alone for a few days."

"Forget it. You guy ain't comin'." Matt firmly stated, clearly angry at the fact they decided to come along uninvited.

"Well too bad, dude." Lynn retorted in an equal angry tone. "We're coming along and that's final."

"Besides. Camping alone is no fun compared to camping with you friends, bro!" Luna enthusiastically stated.

"Plus we get to spend time together." Luan dreamly added.

"Oh, um Gottes willen. (Oh, for God sakes.)" Matt muttered in German as he face palmed himself. "I'm not going on a camping trip!"

This left the group confused, with various "huh's" and "what's" being murmured throughout the group.

"Then why are you out here?" asked Leni.

"Because! I'm-... I'm going to a friend's place." Matt lied once more.

"A friend?" asked Lincoln.

"Yes. That's right." Matt continued to lie.

"Then why are you in the forest?" asked Lori.

"He lives in Petoskey." Matt stated, somewhat telling the truth. "I have to cross this forest in order to get to him."

"You couldn't use your motorcycle?" asked Lana.

"That gum won't hold for long." Matt replied in a harsh tone. "In case you forgot and didn't know."

"So why did you lie to us?" asked Luan, feeling a little bit hurt.

"Because I didn't want you guys to come." Matt answered. "Which proved to be useless as you guys already came."

"And we're planning to stay." Lori added. "Like it or not, we're coming with you. I think it's time we all have bonding experience together, as a family.

"Fick mein leben." Matt muttered in German as he looked up into the sky. He heavily sighed, having giving up on the fight. "Alright! Fine! You wanna join! Then join! Because this trip will be like going through hell and back because the wilderness ain't nice. Nature is a harsh bitch and you'll die out here if you're not prepared."

"As you can see, we _ARE_ prepared." Lisa replied.

"Yeah, thanks smartass. I didn't see your backpacks." Matt sarcastically replied. "But if you any of you think that I'm gonna go easy on you guys because you're new to this whole camping bullshit, forget it. You guys came here out on your own, you survive here out on your own. So don't come crying to me when you get attacked by a bear or a cougar because this is what you signed up for and you'll have no one to blame but yourselves.

"Man, this journey will sure be _in tents_! Hahahahahaha! Get it?" asked Luan after laughing at her own pun.

Matt got extremely close to her, an extremely serious expression painted on his face.

"Luan," Matt begun. "if you want me to run your little camping trip, there are two conditions. Firstly, I'm in charge and when I'm not around, Lori is. All you need to do is sit by the fire, eat a couple of s'mores, and crack a few jokes when everyone's depressed. Second condition: your couch. You can keep it. I'm not returning from this trip after I head into Petoskey because I'm gonna be living with my friend until the day he moves out and then I'll be on my own. How and when are my business. Now if you don't like either of those two conditions, you're on your own. So go ahead! Follow me! Follow me up the mountains, or down a waterfall, or into the middle of a bear's den for all I care! But I've lived in an abusive home filled with selfish scumbags to listen to anymore stupid ideas! Okay?"

Luan and the rest of her siblings simply stared at Matt with blanked expressions, not knowing how to respond to that rant.

Luan simply smiled and pulled a thumbs up. "Okay!" she enthusiastically said, smiling.

What else was she going to say?

And so, Matt and the Loud children began walking further into the forest, ready to start their journey to Petoskey. If one thing was for certain, this journey would be different than from any other journey.

It'll be the loudest journey...

* * *

Steve sat in his chair, a phone in his left ear, currently talking to someone. The area around him was dark, nothing could be seen, creating a mysterious and ominous aura around him.

"Yes sir." Steve said to the person on the other line. "I'll have my men ready in a few hours."

With that, he hung up the phone, before leaning on his chair. "Scarface!" he called out.

At that moment, his right hand man, Joseph "Scarface" Hindwick, came out of the darkness. He still retained his appearance as last time: black trenchcoat, white collar buttoned up shirt, black tie, black pants, and black shoes, as well as messy black hair.

"Yes sir?" Scarface asked.

"The Big Man wants to begin Phase Two." Steve announced. "Get your men ready, we're retrieving the package" Steve suddenly stared directing into Scarface's eyes, with his own cold, dead eyes. "You do know where the prison's at, right?"

Scarface simply stood in place, creating a tense feeling around the two. "Yes sir." he finally said.

"Good... " Steve said, before staring into Scarface's eyes again. "We attack soon."

* * *

 **(Ooh wee! That took quite a while…**

…

…

…

 **No more jokes today. Daddy's not in the mood.)**


	20. Movable Feast

**(Slowly losing motivation to continue this story but it's so close to the end. Like "I'm about to climax" close. I can feel it in my balls.**

 **My OTP shipping is Twinleafshipping [Barry x Dawn from the Pokémon games] and I'll love it till the day I die.)**

* * *

A shoe stepped on some leaves, as said leaves crunched into the quiet forest. The shoe belonged to the young hunter himself, Matt Dillon. With him were the Loud siblings, whom were accompanying him for his trip, not wanting him to go alone, much to Matt's chagrin.

In his hand, he wielded his signature weapon: his Small Plot-Smasher Ambush 300 Blackout with a mounted scope. In his gun holster was his Beretta 92 with the words "Sandy Hook" written on the side. While he had a serious and determined expression painted on his face, his allies and accompaniment, did not.

They were tired. Tired of walking that is.

"I'm hot!" Lincoln complained.

"I'm hotter!" Lynn complained as well, trying to one up her brother.

"I'm tired!" Lincoln complained once more.

"I'm tireder!" Lynn, once again, tried to one up her little brother.

"That's not even a word!" Lincoln corrected.

"Matt!" Lori shouted in exhaustion. "Can we stop? We've been walking literally forever!"

Matt turned around to face her. "It's been 2 hours." he corrected before looking back ahead.

"Well we _HAVE_ to be there by now. Right, dude?!" Luna asked.

"We aren't even at the halfway point!" Matt exclaimed in anger and annoyance. "Hell! We're not even at the halfway point TO the halfway point! We're nowhere near Petoskey!"

Everyone groaned. "You've GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Lynn shouted.

"We've been walking forever! Can we PLEASE take a break and stop?" asked Lisa, her legs feeling weak.

"Hey!" Matt shouted. "You wanted to come along, then endure the pain! We ain't stoppin'!"

"But I'm hungry!" Lola shouted, stomping her foot on the ground. "I demand food right now! Or else I'll make you!"

"Don't you have snacks and some water?" asked Matt.

"We ate them all." Lincoln replied.

Matt groaned in frustration. "Für ficken willen! (For fuck sakes!)" he shouted in German. "See! This is the reason WHY I didn't want to bring you guys in the first place! You don't know anything about the wilderness!"

"Hey!" Lori shouted. "Show some appreciation that we wanted to come in the first place! At least we didn't leave you on the side of the road!"

Matt stopped in his tracks but refused to turn around to face his allies. After a moment, he eventually turned around and gave Lori a blank stare, before raising his gun at them. They immediately gasped and put their hands up.

"Nice job, Lori. Now he's mad at us." Lynn whispered to her older sister."

"I-I'm sorry!" Lori stuttered in fear. "R-Really! I-I-I didn't m-mean it! I- S-Stuff just comes out of my m-mouth, y-ya know?! P-Please! S-Stop!"

Matt continued to aim his gun at them and…

 **BANG!**

Everyone closed their eyes and screamed, waiting for themselves to drop to the ground in pain. However… they felt nothing. They slowly opened their eyes and examined their bodies. Realizing that none of them were shot, they grew even more confused.

A sudden thud was heard behind them, causing them to turn around. There, they saw the corpse of a deer with a bullet wound in its neck.

"You said you were hungry, I got you lunch." Matt said as he approached the dead deer. "There. Satisfied yet? Will that shut you guys up?"

He crouched down and plunged his knife into the dead animal and began skinning it as well as taking chunks of meat and flesh.

"We can't possibly eat THAT!" Lola shouted. "That's raw meat! That'll kill us!"

"No shit, Einstein." Matt replied in a harsh tone. "That's why I'm gonna cook it."

"With what? A stove?" asked Lola. "In case if you haven't noticed, there are no stoves out here. You aren't really good at being out in the wilderness, aren't you? You lied to us, huh?"

"Lola." Matt said, getting tired of her complaining and insults. "I'm gonna point Betsy at you again and this time I will not miss. Got it?"

Lola shrunk in fear as she gulped. "Got it." she replied.

"Lols does have a point though, Matt." her twin sister stated. "We don't have a stove."

Matt stood up, a bloody sack of meat in his hands. "Then we'll make one." Matt said. "Lori, build a campfire." he ordered.

Lori grew confused. "Uh- Wha-"

"Do it!" he interjected her. "Use stones to surround the campfire. Use wood, lumber, dead leaves, anything flammable to get the fire going." Matt reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter. "Here. Use this lighter." he threw the lighter to Lori. "That should get things going."

Lori caught the lighter and examined it in her hands.

"I've got pans so we can use that to cook the meat." Matt stated. "But you'll ALL get small slices of meat if you all want to be fed."

"Why small slices? I'm hungry!" Lola complained.

"Because if I make huge slices then there won't be enough for all of us." Matt explained. "In case if you don't know, which I doubt you do, there's not a lot of meat on that deer. The most where the meat is in the torso area, that's it. The other areas aren't even edible. So shut up. Sit down. And wait for your meal to be cooked. Okay?" he said in a stern voice.

Lola immediately sat down on a log, pouting, but yet was still frightened of Matt in some way.

* * *

Eventually, the meat was cooked and everyone was currently eating their own respective slices of deer meat that Matt recently just cooked for them. Though Lola complained some more, she eventually calmed down after she got her meal.

Matt finished his respective piece of meat and stood up, grabbing the Loud children's water bottles.

"Luna," he called out. "there's a filter in that bag. Give it to me."

Luna stopped chewing her food and reached inside the bag next to her, pulling out a filter and handing it to Matt.

"What's that for?" asked Lana.

Matt placed the water bottles in his bag. "It's for cleaning out water." Matt answered. "I'm gonna head to the stream and get you guys some water. The filter will clean the water so any bacteria or other nasty shit will be out of the water." He placed the bag over his shoulder. "I'll be back in 10-15 minutes. Lori, you're in charge until then. Stay here. Don't move. I'll be right back. Okay?"

With that, he began walking away, stepping over a log in the process.

Everyone continued eating, as Lynn sat down next to her brother. "Since when did he get so commanding?" she asked.

Lincoln looked at her as she began placing her paper plate in a trash bag; Lincoln went right back to eating his meat slice.

* * *

Matt stepped over a few branches, as the birds cawed and the insects buzzed, the crickets chirping as well. He approached a stream, the water calmly flowing, with the filter in his hand. He bent down and placed the backpack beside him.

He began undoing the filter, ready to obtain some water, until some branches behind snapped. With lightning fast reflexes, Matt immediately grabbed his Beretta 92 and turned around, ready to shoot whatever was behind him. To his shock, a coyote managed to sneak behind him.

The adolescent was prepared to shoot until the coyote sat next to him and began drinking the water from the stream. Realizing it was thirsty, Matt put away his firearm and watched as the coyote quenched its thirst. After having its share of water, the coyote turned to Matt.

He immediately felt uncomfortable that it began staring at him but realized he was safe. Not only does he have a gun, but he's handled coyotes before. Matt lifted his hand and placed it underneath the coyote's nose to smell him. To his surprise, the coyote actually licked his hand, causing Matt to smile. He suddenly placed his hand on the animal's head, petting it, much to the coyote's happiness.

The wild animal began licking Matt's face before walking away. Matt laughed as the coyote went back to its den or to wherever it came from.

He chuckled.

"Cool dog." Matt muttered to himself.

He immediately went back to business, placing the filter in the water. After filling it up, he waited for the water to cleanse itself before pouring the liquid back into the respective water bottles. However, it was then he knew one thing: this would take a while.

"Verdammt. (Damn.)" he mumbled to himself. "Dies wird eine weile dauern. (This will take a while.)"

 _ **Indeed it will.**_

Matt recognized that deep, raspy voice. He turned around, looking everywhere, waiting for his inner demon to pop out of nowhere.

However, to his surprise and fear, he was nowhere to be seen, confusing the poor soul.

 _ **We're down here!**_

Matt turned around and looked at the water, seeing his reflection. However, it wasn't _his_ reflection. It was his inner demon, staring right into his eyes, as if he was staring into his soul.

 _ **It gives us some alone time, Matilda.**_ His inner demon said. _**Now we can have a little chat.**_

"About what?" asked Matt.

 _ **About those meddling kids.**_

Matt looked elsewhere. "Scooby ain't here." he lazily replied in a sarcastic tone.

 _ **Don't get smart with us, boy!**_ His inner demon yelled. _**Our little companions have already begun to foil our ploy! We must stop them!**_

"How?" Matt asked. "They won't let me out of their sights and we're already too deep in the forest for them to go back.

 _ **Then we only have one option.**_

"And that is?" asked Matt, intrigued while slightly scared.

 _ **You are the only one with a gun, right?**_

Matt immediately knew what he was referring to. "No! No way! No fuckin' way!" Matt shouted. "There's no way I'm doing that!"

 _ **But if we don't get rid of them, then they'll eventually find out.**_

"Well… What if…? What if I lose them in the woods?" asked Matt in a desperate tone.

 _ **They know what the destination is you idiot! They'll eventually find us!**_

"But they don't have a map." Matt countered. "I'm the only one with the map. I take that with me and leave them, they'll get lost and I'll eventually find my way to Petoskey so we can get rid of that scumbag."

The inner demon scowled and growled. _**You're a real coward when it comes to things, you know.**_

"Well you're also me so you just called yourself a coward." Matt countered as he smiled confidently.

 _ **We can turn your dreams into nightmares and we can destroy you from the inside!**_ His inner demon shouted in anger. _**We are the living embodiment of evil and we will destroy every piece of humanity you have left inside you and we will rule your pathetic body until the day you DIE! Do NOT test us, boy! WE WILL PASS EVERY TIME! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!**_

Matt gulped in fear. "Yes sir." he replied in a meek tone.

 _ **Our only hope is if we get rid of those kids once and for all. We must NOT leave any loose ends!**_

"But they're children!"

 _ **Who cares if their children?! What have children done to us! You will follow our orders or we will make your life an even more personal hell than it already is!**_

"OKAY! Okay! Just-…" Matt sighed. "Just give me some time, alright? Then I'll… see what I can do."

 _ **No! You follow only our orders and our orders are to exterminate the pests for good! Do we make ourselves clear?!**_

Matt sighed in defeat. "Yes sir." he said in the same meek tone. "I'll go through the plan."

 _ **You better.**_

And with that, Matt's inner demon disappeared, leaving Matt alone in the area of the forest. Where his inner demon once was, was now his reflection in the stream water. Matt's reflection looked back at him, having the same discomfort, troubled, defeated look.

He sighed one final time before continuing his work to forage some water for the group.

* * *

The group stood or sat around in their resting stop, waiting for Matt to return with their waters. "What's taking him so long?" asked Lola, her patience worn thin.

"Calm down, Lola." Lincoln told his younger sister. "Matt said it would be 10-15 minutes before he comes back."

"How long has it been?" asked Lola, glaring at her brother.

"Half an hour." Lincoln replied. There was a short pause. "…I see why you're mad now." he quickly added.

As if on cue, Matt came walking from behind a tree, stepping over a log, with his backpack slunged over his shoulder.

"Ugh! Finally!" Lola exclaimed. "What took you so long?!" she yelled.

Matt glared at her as he set the backpack down on the ground. "Lola," he began. "like I said before: shut up." He opened up the backpack and reached inside, grabbing a few water bottles. "Alright, here. This water is cleaned thanks to the filter." he began passing them to everyone. "And this time _don't_ , I repeat D-O-N-apostrophe T, drink them all at once! Savor them until you run out. Make them last. 'Cuz the next stream won't be for another day, you understand."

Lori raised her finger to speak but was quickly interjected by Matt.

"Good." he said. "Now let's go. Get off your lazy asses and let's keep moving. I don't have all day… Literally." Luan opened her mouth to laugh as she thought Matt was doing an impersonation of Lori. "Don't laugh or you're being left behind."

Luan quickly shut her mouth.

"Come on! Let's go! Los! Los! (Go! Go!)" he shouted as he began walking away.

After Matt began to walk away, the Loud children began to quickly follow suit, not wanting to be left behind. "Why's he in a rush?" asked Lynn.

"He did say he was meeting a friend and this is more of a day walk after all." Lincoln answered. "I guess he just doesn't want to keep him waiting.

"But that doesn't give him the right to yell at us in Swedish, though!"

"I think that's German, Lynn."

"Same thing!"

"Not really, to be honest." Lincoln lidded his eyes.

The group followed Matt, whom continued walking deeper and deeper into the forest. While he knew of his objective, the Loud children were unaware of Matt's true intentions and real reason behind as to why he wanted to voyage to Petoskey.

And he would rather keep it that way.

* * *

The group continued to walk through the depths of the forest, their journey not stopping any time soon. Matt lead the group of adolescents as they followed closely behind him as he stepped over various branches or logs in front of him. All around, the birds were cawing, the insects were buzzing, and the crickets chirped.

Just normal forest sounds.

Matt looked in front of him and sighed heavily, feeling a little out of breath.

"Take a break! Five minutes!" he announced as he held up his hand as a signal to stop.

Almost everyone groaned or heavily sighed in relief as they began sitting down on a few logs. They placed their belongings next to them as some began drinking their water, while others laid on the ground.

Matt on the other hand sat away from the group, drinking some whiskey from a flask. He shuddered the after taste of the alcoholic beverage but nonetheless, it suppressed his anger and stress.

"Matt." Lori called out as she approached him.

"What's up?" he asked.

Lori sat down on a log in front of him. "How long do we have until we reach Petoskey?" she asked.

Matt quickly took a sip of his flask. "Two days… max." he answered as he placed the flask back in his bag. "Why? You getting bored already?"

"Matt." she said. "We're in a forest. Where are we going to sleep? There are literally no hotels here. I doubt a Ranger's quarters is near here."

"So where does that leave us?" asked Matt.

"The only place I think we could sleep is here in the forest. On the cold hard ground." the oldest Loud sibling answered.

"You just answered your own question then." Matt replied.

Lori grew a shocked expression. "We're going to be sleeping on the ground?!" she yelled.

"That's right." Matt answered. "We can set a tent for the youngest one's but for the rest of us we're sleeping out here for the nights. You think you can handle it?"

"How are we supposed to sleep on the ground?!" she asked loudly.

"I don't know." Matt answered. "I guess you approach that your own way."

"What about you?" asked Lori.

"Don't worry about me." Matt replied. "I'm just fine.

"Matt." said a voice.

Matt looked up above Lori as she turned around; behind her was the rock star sister, Luna. "I need to head to the bathroom, dude."

"Well then go." he suggested.

At that moment, Lori decided that her time was up with Matt and began to leave to go back to the rest of the group.

"In the woods?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yeah." he replied. "Just use some leaves as toilet paper. Make sure their poison ivy. You know what they look like?" Luna shook her head as a 'no'. Matt sighed. "God damnit." he said under his breath. "They come in leaves of three and have ragged edges. Poison oak looks similar but are rounder. Poison sumac come in small leaves but in a bigger group. They're spread out and they look like the common leaf branch you see on logos of fertilizer or something. You know what." Matt picked a branch with leaves off the ground. "Just use this, alright?"

Luna reluctantly took the branch. "Okay." she replied. "I'm gonna need some privacy, bro."

"Just don't go far away, alright?" said Matt. "If I lose you, it's just me and the damn tourists." He reached into his backpack and pulled out his Ontario M7-B Bayonet hunting knife. "Take this with you for protection."

* * *

Bushes and leaves rustled in the area, hinting that a person or an animal was in the vicinity. Luna suddenly stood up, revealing that it was her causing the bushes the rustle. He threw the branch on the ground, stepping away from the mess she made.

At that moment, she heard some other leaves rustling. She turned to her side and examined the area around her to see the bushes rustle some more. She quickly pulled out Matt's hunting knife for defense and a chance to fight in case she needed to.

Suddenly, a bear emerged from the bushes, growling at Luna. The rock star Loud began to shiver in fear and gulped, backing up a bit. "Okay, baby bear." Luna tried to calm it down. "Ease it now. Just calm down. We can get through this without any-"

And then it attacked. It pounced on Luna and began clawing at her, before going in for a huge bite on her arm. Fortunately for her, she moved her arm away on time and was now using her legs and feet to try and push the bear off of her. However, it proved to be too strong for her, and gravity was not on her side.

She screamed in utter horror as the bear snapped its jaws mere centimeters away from her face; drool and slobber got all over her face and clothes. All Luna could do was just stab and scream in pain, until finally she thrusted the knife into the bear's skull, killing it.

The bear's corpse limply fell on her, like a man who achieved a heavy orgasm. Luna panted as her troubles were over; she almost felt like crying.

At that moment, the rest of her siblings along with Matt emerged from behind the tree that she was doing her business behind, all having frantic expressions on their faces.

"Oh my God!" Lori shrieked at the sight of the dead bear on top of Luna.

"Luna! Are you alright?!" Luan asked.

Matt offered his hand to Luna, to which she offered. "Yeah, I'm alright." Luna replied as soon as she stood up, revealing her shirt to be covered in blood. "Just got jumped, that's all. I'm A-Okay."

"Cooooool!" Lana exclaimed in astonishment. "You killed a bear! That's the most awesomest thing ever!"

"Yeah!" Lynn agreed.

Matt bent down and examined the dead bear. "Hmm." he said.

"Guys!" Lori yelled in anger. "Our sister was just literally attacked by a bear! Aren't you gonna ask how she's alright?!"

"Calm down, Lori." Lynn retorted in an annoyed voice. "She's fine! She's alive and walking."

"I guess that bear really _scared the shit_ out of ya? Huh? Get it?" asked Luan.

"Luan." Lori quietly said. "Not in front of the children." she told her younger sister.

"Sorry." the jokester apologized.

"I'm just glad that our sister faced death in the eyes of an adult bear and defeated it with little wounds or scratches… Wicked." Lucy smiled.

Matt stood up, an angry expression on his face.

"This ain't 'wicked'." he said. "Luna, do you know what you just did?" he was clearly peeved.

"Uh, I saved my life, dude." Luna replied. "Why are you getting mad? I killed a bear."

"No you didn't!" Matt yelled. "You didn't kill a bear! You killed a bear _CUB_!"

"What?" asked the group.

"That dead bear right there is just a baby!" Matt explained, pointing at the corpse of the bear. "My guess is that this bear is only two years old! You know what that means?!" The group stood silent, not knowing how to reply. "It means that the mama bear isn't that far away!"

Everyone gasped and screamed at the shocking news. "Ooooooh. She's gonna be soooo mad when she finds out what happened to her cub, dude." Luna said in a scared expression.

"More than you know." Matt replied. "She's gonna be pissed. And she knows WHO exactly killed her cub. You're covered in it's scent, Luna." Luna looked down at her blood soaked shirt. "That means she can track us and probably already is."

Everyone screamed. "Does that mean we're going to die?!" Leni asked.

"No, we're not." Matt assured them.

"Whew." the Loud children heavily sighed in relief.

"At least I don't think so." Matt added. Everyone yelped in surprise and fear. "The only way for the bear to not track us is for Luna to ditch the shirt with blood all over it."

"And walk around in my bra?!" Luna asked in disbelief.

"No, you dipfuck. You just wear another shirt." Matt replied. Luna blankly stared at Matt whom blankly stared back at her. "You didn't pack an extra shirt didn't you?" Luna shook her head as a 'no'. Matt facepalmed and groaned in annoyance. "Ich bin von Idioten umgeben. (I'm surrounded by idiots.) Okay, now our chances of survival are severely fucked like a rape victim with short term memory loss."

"I'm too young and pretty to die!" Lola shouted.

"I'm too young to die!" Lana shouted.

"…I can't die…" Lucy calmly said.

"So where's the bear?" asked Lynn.

"I don't know." Matt replied. "Could be a mile away from us or it could be behind that tree over there. I'm not sure. What I DO know is that _NOW_ we have a reason to keep moving! No more stops. We continue walking until dusk sets in, then we rest."

"And we'll be safe, right?" asked Lola.

"No promises." Matt replied. Lola whimpered. "Now let's go before this bear catches up to us. The last thing I want is to get eaten by a bear with my defenses down."

Matt rammed through the group and began to walk away, continuing his journey. The rest simply grabbed their things and began to follow Matt into the depths of the forest.

Luna looked down at the blood soaked shirt before releasing a shaky breath filled with fear.

* * *

The sun soon fell to the darkness as the moon took its place in the sky; night time has arrived. The sounds of the forest laid to rest, as the nocturnal inhabitants awoke from their slumber to pursue their time of the day.

The older siblings set up their one tent for the youngest sisters: Lisa, Lola, and Lana. Lucy was offered to sleep in the tent but declined, wanting to sleep out in the midst of the night. Lincoln volunteered to sleep outside, despite his sister's disagreement.

Lori leaned against a tree with Lincoln sitting beside her. She watched as the rest of her siblings slept in the night, as Lincoln was carving a piece of wood from a branch.

She suddenly heard leaves rustling, alerting both her _and_ Lincoln.

"Matt." she quietly said.

She quickly began to walk towards the sound, followed by Lincoln. There, they saw Matt coming from some bushes, zipping his pants as he sat on a log, pulling out a map and a canteen of water.

"Are we safe?" she asked.

Matt continued to drink away, a moment of silence passing them. Finally, he gasped as he finished his fill of water. "About as safe as we can be." he grimly replied. "Map." he ordered. Lori pulled out a map from her bag and handed it to Matt, whom pulled out a flashlight and began shining it on the map. "We still have a long way until we reach Petoskey. It won't be easy once we hit the higher hills."

"How do you know?" asked Lincoln.

Matt turned to him. "Cuz I've seen them." he replied. "It won't be easy climbing them. We're gonna hit a lot of terrain and it won't be easy with the bear following us. We're already putting ourselves at risk just by staying in one spot. We need to keep moving." he turned around, taking a quick glance at the sleeping siblings. "We'll let them sleep. One more hour. Then we leave."

He quickly shut off his light and walked away to his own sleeping spot, leaving Lori and Lincoln behind. The two quickly glanced at each other before going off to their own spots to sleep.

Lincoln stepped over his sleeping sisters until he found his own sleeping bag, his backpack used as a pillow. He quickly got in it and began to go to sleep.

"Hey, Linc." whispered someone.

Lincoln cocked his head to the left to see his older sister, Lynn, looking at him while she laid down.

"What is it, Lynn?" he asked.

"How much of a bad idea do you think going on this trip is?" she asked.

Lincoln turned his attention back to the sky. "Honestly, Lynn… I don't know." he answered. "Maybe it is, maybe it wasn't. Who knows. Not me that is. This could be a great experience for us. Traveling across the state, witnessing nature. If it wasn't for the bear following us, then this would be a great trip. Heck. It still is a great trip if you ask me. Why do you ask?"

"Me and Lana have a bet going and I'm betting this trip will end in disaster." Lynn replied.

Lincoln gave her an unamused looked with lidded eyes. "Go to bed, Lynn." he turned around and quickly shut his eyes, soon falling asleep.

* * *

Matt slept soundly, leaned against his backpack as his snored silently. The rest of the siblings were themselves sleeping away in the night. The only one awake, was Lori, whom couldn't sleep due to the fear of the bear that was possibly chasing them. Although they haven't spotted it yet, she still felt as if it was following them.

She walked out of some bushes, finishing going to the bathroom, as she walked towards her sleeping bag. However, she suddenly stepped in a hole. She looked down to see how she managed to step in a hole. Unfortunately, she didn't step in a hole but a puddle. How was a puddle unfortunate?

Because the puddle was in the shape of a paw print… a bear paw print.

Lori cocked an eyebrow, knowing for a fact that the paw print wasn't there before. She looked further up to see a whole trail of paw prints leading directly towards the middle of their campgrounds.

Now she realized what was going on, and to her utter horror, she was right. Her eyes widened at the sight in front of her.

Meanwhile in the tent, Lisa, Lola, and Lana slept soundly in their respective sleeping bags… that is, until an unknown sound awoke Lisa.

She slowly opened her eyes, as she listened closely to the sound. It was the sound of sniffing and heavy breathing. She immediately realized that there was a wild animal in their tent, but didn't know what kind.

Suddenly, a drop of blood fell on her cheek; she looked up to see that Luna's blood soaked shirt hanging above her and her sisters. It was then she knew what animal was in her tent.

"Oh no." she whispered in realization.

Lori watched from outside, her jaw hung and her eyes widened. She could only watch in horror.

The bear continued to sniff the three children, trying to figure out which one of them held the scent her child. Lisa meanwhile kept calm, but was still terrified at the violent, angry, wild animal inside their tent. Her breath was shaky as all she could do was hope that the bear didn't notice her and stay still in her sleeping bag.

Lola suddenly opened her eyes, waking up to the weird sound.

"Can you keep it down La..." she looked up to see the bear sniffing her backside, much to her utter horror. "AAAAAAA-mmmmmpphh!"

Lisa quickly covered Lola's mouth. "Sshhhhh! Shhh! Sshhhh!" Lisa quietly said, trying to calm Lola down.

Luckily for them, the bear didn't hear them, and continued to sniff the air as well as the bloody shirt, which for some reason was inside the tent. Lisa kept shushing Lola while the bear opened its mouth, revealing its sharp teeth as drool leaked out of its mouth.

Lola began to silently cry and whimper, as tears fell from her eyes. This was the most scared she has ever been in her entire life.

Lori continued to watch in horror as she stood still. All she could do was just hope for her sisters' safety. But still, the thought of standing still when she could be helping killed her from the inside. She wanted to help. She HAD to help, but she couldn't. She felt so helpless.

"Lola…" she whispered. "Lisa. Lana…"

A little off to the side, Lynn was rudely awoken from her slumber at the sounds of heavy breathing and loud sniffing. She rubbed her eyes to get a good look at what was making so much noise. Then, she wished she hadn't. Her breath shook as her mouth gaped wide opened at the sight in front of her. She couldn't help but scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.

This scream woke everyone up, as they violently lifted their bodies after suddenly being awoken from their slumber. Everyone sat up to see what she was screaming about… Then, chaos erupted.

Lincoln looked at his screaming sister and then at the direction she was looking at, before going into a panic and getting up as fast as possible.

Matt sat up quickly and stared into the chaos, realizing what was going on.

"Heilige Hölle! (Holy hell!)" he shouted to himself.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" Lynn shouted as everyone around her went into a panic and began running away. "HURRY UP! KILL IT!"

"Stay down! Stay down! Stay down! Don't move! Don't move! Don't run!" Lori shouted to everybody.

Because the screaming and shouting, the bear ripped the tent off its spikes as it roared into the night. Suddenly, Luan ran past Lori, knocking her down into the ground, as Luna ran into the night, covering her bra with her arms.

Matt came running from his sleeping spot with his 300 Blackout in his hand. Many of the children ran past him as he aimed down his gun at the bear. The bear was illuminated thanks to the lantern next to it; Matt was about to pull the trigger until the bear knocked the lantern down and destroyed it, as well as the equipment inside the tent.

Now Matt was blinded by the darkness of the night.

"Bastard!" he shouted to himself.

The bear roared as it swung its claw at Leni, who dodged it just in time. The bear roared once more as it began chasing Lincoln. At that moment, Matt turned on the flashlight that he just equipped to his gun and began firing several rounds into the bear. The bear roared in pain but because it was so bulky, it shrugged the pain away as if it was nothing.

The wild animal turned its attention to Matt and gave him a deathly glare. Matt aimed his gun at the bear but was quickly swept away thanks to the bear. It stood on its hind legs and roared at Matt, whom seemed unfazed at the ferocious animal that stood before him.

He quickly grabbed his hunting knife and began stabbing the bear, slashing the knife everywhere. The bear roared in pain as it swung its paw, which Matt dodged and missed. The adolescent continued to swish and slash his knife and the occasional stabbing, before the bear had enough and ran away from the campgrounds.

Matt panted as he watched the bear flee; everyone else came out from their hiding spots, relieved that the omnivore was gone.

* * *

"Our communication equipment's been destroyed." Matt announced as the group looked at the rubble of broken tech that lied on the ground. "And if your radio and satellite phone were in that tent that the bear trashed-"

"They were." Lincoln confirmed.

"Then we're stuck here, ladies and gentleman!" Matt shouted, unbelievably angry. "Stuck here! Thanks to you people!"

"Hey, we came to join you on this trip! We didn't know a bear would've showed!" Lori shouted.

"Don't use the bear as an excuse!" Matt scolded. "You knew damn well that a bear was gonna eventually find us one way or another!"

"But it's alright, right?" asked Leni. "I mean, you scared off the bear."

"No, I didn't." Matt replied. "She just left so she wouldn't die."

"'She'?" asked Luna.

"That was the mother of the bear cub that YOU killed!" Matt clarified. "And right now, mommy's very angry and she's gonna _stay_ angry until she finds out which one of us killed her baby. Who's idea was it to put the shirt in the kid's tent?"

Everyone looked at Lori, who sheepishly smiled.

"You're the biggest idiot I know." Matt coldly said.

"So what does this mean about the trip?" asked Lincoln.

"We continue." Matt replied. "But the terrain is gonna get even more dangerous once we head uphill and when we do the bear isn't gonna be our biggest threat." Matt began searching the area for something.

"How long is it until we get to Petoskey?" asked Lincoln.

"A day's walk, maybe more. Ah! Ah!" Matt pointed to something on the ground. He walked over to the object which was revealed to be his flask, whiskey still inside. "The bear's not the problem." he added as he began drinking out of the flask.

"What is?" asked Lori. "What is the problem?"

Matt stopped drinking and turned to face the group. "Mountain lions." Matt replied.

The rest of the group immediately felt adrenaline flow through them, filled with fear.

"They're usually high up on the mountains but sometimes they do come down to the base to hunt." Matt explained. "Because we need to head pass the mountain and maybe even go over it, that's when we'll be the most vulnerable."

"You're sugarcoating this, aren't you, dude?" asked Luna.

"No, I'm not 'dude'." Matt mocked. "I'm giving you the worst case scenario so that way you can be safe."

"How is telling us that we'll possibly die make us safe?" asked Lisa.

"Because you won't making a lot of mistakes." Matt answered. "We continue moving. The longer we stay here, the more likely the bear is gonna come back.

"We leave? Now?!" asked Lynn. "Are you kidding me?! In the dark?!"

"Do you want to stay here and be bear food?" asked Matt. Lynn didn't answer, realizing he had a point. "Then we continue on. We should reach Petoskey in a day or two but until then we're gonna have to be on our guards for the bear. To it, we're basically a walking buffet." Matt quickly grabbed his gun and his bag, already to go. "Everyone, grab your things. Saddle up! Let's get this movable feast underway!" he shouted as he began to walk away.

* * *

Dawn eventually came by as the sun rose into the air; the group of adolescents walked across a grassy plain, with Matt leading the group. While he had a lot more stamina and was used to walking a long period of distance, the Loud children were already feeling exhausted but continued to walk in fear of being left behind.

At that moment, a wolf's howl could be heard in the distance, startling everyone in the group. The group turned around, slightly scared of the predator behind them. Matt motioned the group to walk faster as he grabbed his gun, ready for any predator they would encounter.


	21. Mistaken Values

**(I remember watching the Curious George movie when I was a kid and getting sad when it ended. I was just listening to "Upside Down" by Jack Johnson, which was the main theme of the movie and I cried my eyes out…**

 **I miss being a child. Things used to be so simple. Just a kid, not a care in the world, playing with your friends outside… Too bad I was never that kind of kid…**

 **I want my childhood back in a different form.)**

* * *

Matt and the Loud children continued their voyage to their destination, a city across the state of Michigan. The plan on paper seemed pretty easy, though nothing ever goes to plan. Some complications were set off from the previous day, causing a bear to now hunt the group with an unquenchable thirst of vengeance.

Matt continued to walk through the forest, with the Loud children not far from him. He turned his head to the group, seeing their exhausted expressions on their faces. He realized now it was time to take a break.

"K, take a break! Five minutes!" he announced as he set his bag down on the ground.

Everyone groaned in relief as they too put their bags on the ground. Luna sat up against a tree, taking off her boots and her socks, letting her bare feet breath. Matt walked up to her and sat next to her, resting his head against the tree.

"How've you been?" asked Matt.

"Hm?" asked Luna. Matt pointed to her blood soaked shirt. She looked down and immediately realized what he meant. "Oh. No, I'm fine. Just worried 'bout the bear, dude. That's all."

"Matt!" Lori called out. Matt turned his head to see Lori walking up to him with the map in her hands; he stood up to face her. "I'd _love_ to know where we are." she said in a sassy, sarcastic tone.

As Matt and Lori walked off to figure out where they were, Lincoln walked up to his older sister and sat next to her; his bottled water in his hand.

"Worried about the bear, huh?" asked Lincoln as he began drinking out of the bottle.

"Yeah." Luna replied.

Lincoln continued to drink before having his fill; a few coughs could be heard in the silent group. Luna continued to massage her own foot and ankle, tired of walking for so long.

Lana offered her water bottle to her twin, whom shook her head as a no. Lisa was simply staring at different leaves, trying to figure out what kind they were. Leni was readjusting Luan's ponytail while Lucy awkwardly sat there next to them.

Lynn walked amongst the resting group, passing each of her siblings. "Hey, Leni, I'm heading to the lady's room." she told her older sister. "Call for me when we're about to leave? Alright? Yeah."

She didn't even wait for Leni's response, whom wasn't listening because she was fixing Luan's hair.

Matt returned after having a chat with Lori about where they were on the map, heading back to the big tree that Lincoln and Luna were resting. Luna, having put her shoes back on, walked passed Matt, whom stood in front of the tree. He unzipped his pants and began peeing on the tree, finally releasing a stride of piss that's been held in his ball sack for the longest while; Lincoln didn't seem to mind nor care if Matt was peeing beside him.

"Hey, Snow White." Matt said, while still peeing.

"Yeah?" asked Lincoln. "What is it Matt?'

"Can I ask you something?" asked Matt.

"Why it burns when you pee?" asked Lincoln. "You seem to already know the answer to them. 'I really should've used a rubber back then' if I remember correctly when you peed all over us in the basement."

Matt suddenly grew a surprised look, as he stopped peeing. He zipped his pants back up before turning to Lincoln.

"You were in the basement when I pissed that day?" asked Matt.

"You peed all over us." Lincoln replied. "You were waving your penis all around, like you had no control of it whatsoever."

"Hey, you try pissing when it burns!" Matt replied, getting a little hostile. "A word to the not-so-wise about your future girlfriend when you're older: always wear protection no matter what."

"Matt, I'm not dumb." Lincoln replied, a little offended. "Of course I'm gonna use protection… if me and my future girlfriend ever get to that base."

"Oh, you will… you will." Matt nodded his head, reassuring his point. "And when you do…" he smiled and sighed, remembering some good moments in his past. "…it'll be the best 10 minutes of your life. Just don't go crazy for it otherwise you'll end up like a sick bastard that only cares for one thing and that's getting his little friend down there a good massage from a girl's best friend down in the crotch area. That'll screw up your head big time to the point where you'll do ANYTHING for the good stuff. And I mean… _anything_. We're talking things like non consensual stuff like that."

"Matt. Matt. MATT!" Lincoln shouted. "I get it. What're you trying to do? Traumatize me."

"I'm sorry." Matt apologized. "I just don't want you to make the same mistakes I made, that's all." Lincoln smiled at the response. "Speaking of which, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Lincoln happily replied. "What is it?"

Matt sat down next to Lincoln on the tree trunk. "What's your view on… revenge?" he hesitantly asked as he made eye contact with Lincoln.

"I think it's stupid." Lincoln replied. "Revenge is only a path that'll lead to a life full of regret and misery. It won't fulfill anything. I mean, sure, revenge seems like a good idea at the start, but sometimes good ideas die down. If you don't have time to think about it and consider the consequences, it'll only make you feel bad and regret for even going with the plan in the first place. Just give it time for things to die down or for a better plan to show up. Or, just forget about it. I mean, whatever caused you for your thirst of revenge will only affect you for a short amount of time. Humans live for a good 72 years, 96-98 if they're lucky. So a small argument with someone or a bully at school will only affect you for only months or maybe even a year. One year compare to 72 years is nothing, just a grain of salt, a napkin on a table. Trust me when I say this: Revenge is not worth it."

Matt stared at the white haired boy with a troubled expression on his face. He broke eye contact and looked down at the ground, staring at his hands and his shoes. He was now rethinking his plan, rethinking if killing his so called father really was a good idea, all just to satisfy his thirst for revenge.

He was now more confused then ever before but he took Lincoln's words to his heart. He quickly got up and walked over to where his bag was and picked it up.

"Alright, break's over!" he announced. Everyone got up from their seats and groaned. "If we want to get to Petoskey fast, we need to keep moving. That bear won't slow down and she won't stop until she finds us and kill us. Now let's go!"

Matt began leading the group away, as each of the Loud children followed suit… well almost each of them.

Lynn leaned passed a tree and noticed her siblings leaving without her.

"Hey! Wait!" she called out as she pulled her pants back up. She ran over to her backpack and quickly grabbed it, before running to try to catch up to her her siblings. "Come on! Wait up! Wait up! Wai- Come on! Come on! Can you guys wait a second! Wait! Hey, people!"

 _I know I took the path that you would never want for me  
I know I let you down, didn't I?_

Matt guided the Loud children through the dangers of the woods, with each of them following him. Lori was unfortunately last, and even more unfortunately she stepped on some animal crap, much to her disgust. She screamed as she shook the crap off her flat tops.

What she didn't realize was that she shook some of the animal crap onto Lola's hair, whom shrieked in disgust and horror.

 _So many sleepless nights where you were waiting up on me  
Well I'm just a slave unto the night_

The Loud children followed Matt through a narrow path through some trees. However, Lincoln's face accidentally ran into a spiderweb invisible in the light. He began spitting out the web out of his mouth and wiping his whole face to get rid of the spiderweb.

 _Now remember when I told you that's the last you'll see of me  
Remember when I broke you down to tears_

The group was walking through a swamp, with Lola being piggybacked by Lori, when suddenly, Luan slipped and fell in the water. She got back up to the surface and was extremely disgusted at the swampy mess all over her shirt.

At that moment, Matt came up to the surface fighting an alligator with a knife in his hand. The two returned back into the murky water as the group simply stared with wide eyes and surprised expressions.

 _I know I took the path that you would never want for me  
I gave you hell through all the years_

Matt slashed through some leaves, clearing a path for him and the children. He pushed aside a branch that was in his way; unfortunately, Lori, whom was behind Matt, was hit in the face by the branch as it flung forward. She grabbed her face in pain.

 _So I, I bet my life, I bet my life  
I bet my life for you  
I, I bet my life, I bet my life  
I bet my life for you_

Matt slid down a slope and successfully landed on his feet. However, Leni, whom was next, slid down the slope and fell on her stomach. Suddenly, the other siblings began sliding down and landed on Leni and walked over her back, grunting with each step taken on her.

Matt swung across a gorge and landed on the other side with problem at all. Lincoln suddenly landed in front of him, also not having trouble. Over on the other side, Luna grabbed hold of the vine that the others used to swing across and jumped off. However, the vine broke and she fell in between the gorge, landing in the water below.

Matt and Lincoln looked down before looking at each other; Matt shrugged as Lincoln grew a confused look.

 _I've been around the world and never in my wildest dreams  
Would I come running home to you_

The group walked across a giant log using it as improvised bridge to get across the river, with it tipping forward thanks to the weight of the entire group. Soon, each and every one of them walked off the log leading to the other side of the river. Unfortunately, Lynn was in the back of the group, and after Lori got off the log, the log sprang backwards, launching Lynn to the opposite side of river; she screamed as the others continued walking.

 _I've told a million lies but now I tell a single truth  
There's you in everything I do_

The group were currently walking through a path, stepping over a few logs and branches. Unfortunately for Lucy, she wasn't paying attention to where she was going and fell into a ditch. Everyone looked down the ditch to see Lucy hung over a branch by the back of her collar on her shirt.

 _Now remember when I told you that's the last you'll see of me  
Remember when I broke you down to tears  
I know I took the path that you would never want for me  
I gave you hell through all the years_

Leni was crouched on her knees as she was talking to Jack the Sparrow, whom the ran into; Matt stood beside her, tapping his foot, obviously not fond with the idea. Jack put his wing to his chin, as if he was thinking, before pointing the opposite direction of where he was standing. Leni smiled and shook Jack's hand, as Matt groaned and rolled his eyes, before heading the direction where Jack pointed.

Jack smiled as the humans passed him. He continued to walk to wherever he was heading before growing a shocked look, his eyes filled with fear. In the distance, he could see Jason the Falcon, glaring at him; Jack screamed as he flew as quickly as possible in the opposite direction.

Matt continued to lead the group when suddenly Jack landed on his right shoulder and cuddled in fear on his neck. The young adolescent rolled his eyes and just went with it.

 _So I, I bet my life, I bet my life  
I bet my life for you  
I, I bet my life, I bet my life  
I bet my life for you_

"You're lost, aren't you?" asked Lisa, doubtful of Matt.

"I'm not lost!" Matt argued. "I just temporarily forgot where we are."

"In other words, lost." Lisa countered.

Matt suddenly stopped and face Lisa. "Okay, Einstein, if you're so smart, tell me: how do you know we're lost?"

"Well for starters, isn't that the same wolf pack that you threw a rock at earlier and attacked you?" Lisa responded as she pointed to a direction.

Matt, still retaining his glare, looked at the direction to where she was pointing. His glare suddenly left his expression and was replaced by a look of fear. Off screen, wolves could be heard growling as Matt aimed his 300 Blackout at them.

"Stay! Stay! Down! Down doggies! Down! S- D- No! No! N- No! Stop! STOP! STOOOP!" Matt panically stammered.

Lisa walked over to her siblings and lifted up her glasses. "We're lost." she told them as Matt's screams and gunshots could be heard in the background.

 _Don't tell me that I'm wrong  
I've walked that road before  
And left you on your own  
And please believe them when they say  
That it's left for yesterday  
And the records that I've played  
Please forgive me for all I've done_

The rain fell heavily onto the group, currently walking through a stream as the water poured onto them. Matt used his arm to lift his long hair so the water wouldn't get in his eyes; he was using it as a makeshift umbrella. He suddenly caught sight of Luna and quickly walked up to her.

"Hey, Laura Pergolizzi, can I ask you something?" he asked.

Luna looked quite offended at the name he just gave her. "I'm gonna ignore what you just said and give you the go ahead to ask me your question, dude." she replied in a slight harsh tone.

"Why did you guys want to come with me in the first place?" he asked. "I never invited you guys and you didn't have a reason for it, at least I don't think you did, but still… why?"

Luna smiled warmly at Matt as they continued to walk. "Easy, dude." she replied. "You're family. Family stick together. You may not be seen as a family member but in our eyes, we do. You're practically a second brother to us and we're always gonna help you through thick and thin, brah. We're family… Families stick together."

Matt suddenly stopped as Luna continued walking; the other Loud children walked passed him as he stood there in the rain, a shocked expression on his face.

He looked down where he could see his inner demon glaring at him, obviously not liking what he was thinking. He looked up at the Loud children began having second thoughts about them. He suddenly chuckled and smiled, before shaking his head as well as his thoughts away.

Maybe, just maybe… they _were_ his family. He began walking back to them, ready to lead them on their journey together.

 _So I, I bet my life, I bet my life  
I bet my life for you  
I, I bet my life, I bet my life  
I bet my life for you_

The group climbed up some steep ledges on the mountain side in the middle of the day; Lori climbed up one and soon, Luan grabbed onto the ledge. However, she was having trouble getting herself over the ledge, groaning as she struggled to lift herself over it.

A hand suddenly appeared as Luan looked up. There she saw Matt smiling over her, offering his hand; she smiled back as she took his hand. Matt lifted her up and onto the ledge before nodding his head at her. He lead Luan back to the group as they continued on with their journey.

 _I, I bet my, I bet my, I bet my  
I, I bet my, I bet my, I bet my_

Matt slid down a slope and successfully landed on his feet. Just like last time, Leni was after him and accidentally tripped while sliding. However, unlike last time, Matt caught her just in time and placed her down onto the ground. At that moment, the rest of the Loud children slid down the slope, with Matt greeting them with a smile on his face.

Afterwards, they went back to the adventure at hand and continued walking, disappearing over a hill; a forest was shown over the hill as the sun stood high in the sky.

Jack flew onto a branch and looked at the forest and smiled. He inhaled a great amount of air and exhaled greatly. He suddenly flew high up in the air and flew over the forest.

* * *

The group continued to walk down a path in the middle of the forest, with Matt leading the group like always. Although he wasn't really showing much tiredness, his fellow comrades were. The Loud children were all tired and very weak, wanting to take a rest.

Realizing a rest stop was inevitable, Matt stopped and set his things on the ground, as the Loud children all groaned in joy and relief, finally releasing their luggage on the ground and sitting on some logs.

"I'm tired. I'm hungry… Do you even know where we're going?" asked Lola.

"Petoskey is north northwest in the upper part of Michigan." Matt replied. "I know where I'm going."

"How though?" asked Lucy. "That crocodile ate the map in the swamp back there."

"Alligator." Matt corrected. "And I know what I'm doing. The sun sets in the west and it's been a whole day. If you stand still and face the right of west, you're facing north. All you have to do is move a little bit to the left and you're facing north northwest. If you directly in the middle of the sun and the previous direction you were standing in, then you're facing northwest. We need to go to north northwest, which is where Petoskey is, and I'm walking in the middle of northwest and north, so I'm walking in north northwest… Get it?"

All the Loud children grew confused looks as some of them shook their heads. However, something was not right at the moment. Matt suddenly realized someone was missing from the group.

"Hey." he said as he looked over the group. "Where's Luna?" he asked.

Everyone looked behind them, finally realizing Luna was missing from the group. They all suddenly started to grow worried, to which Matt quickly took notice.

"Alright, everyone! Calm down!" he shouted. "I bet she's somewhere safe… I think." That comment didn't help their nerves. "Luan, Leni, come with me. If she's alive, we're find her." he turned to the rest of the group. "The rest of you will continue on. You'll reach the ridge in ten minutes. Wait for us there."

With that said, Matt, Luan, and Leni ventured forth into the woods, to find the missing Loud sibling. With no one else in charge, Lori took the role and glared at her siblings.

"Okay everyone!" she shouted. "Since Matt isn't here, I'm in charge. So that means you do exactly what I say! No let's keep moving!" No one moved a muscle, much to her irritation. "I mean it everyone! Get up! Let's go! Go! Go! Go!"

Lincoln suddenly got up from the log he was sitting on and spoke up. "Alright everyone," he said out loud. "let's get the hell out of here."

Suddenly, everyone began agreeing with him as they too got up from their resting spots and began walking away from Lori and along with Lincoln. Lori couldn't help but scowl at this sight as she angrily stomped her way to her siblings.

* * *

Matt, Luan, and Leni walked amongst the trees, searching far and wide for the rock star sister. Matt suddenly spotted Luna's backpack on the ground; he quickly ran up to it as Luna and Leni followed suit. He grabbed the backpack and began examining it, quickly finding out there was a hole at the bottom.

Now he was fearing the worst.

"LUNA!" Matt called out.

"LUNA!" Luan called out as well.

"LUNA!"

"LUNA LOOOOOOOOOUD!" Leni called out.

"How many Luna's do you think are in this forest?" asked Matt. "LUNA!"

"LUNA!" Leni shouted.

"LU-"

Matt suddenly stopped as he heart leaves rustling in a direction; as Luan and Leni continued to call out for their sister, Matt began walking towards where the noise was heard. He walked up to a tree and looked behind it, finding Luna leaning against the tree trunk as her whole body shivered.

"Luna." he said.

"AH!" Luna yelped, scared of the sudden appearance of Matt. "Oh, it's just you."

"What're you doing?" Matt asked. He began sniffing the air, smelling a foul odor. "And what's that smell?" he asked.

Luna began to blush as her cheeks grew to a slight color of red. "I thought I heard the bear…" she replied in a quiet tone. "So I covered myself… in my own pee…"

Matt's expression change from a disgusted look, to a look of anger. "Luna…" he said in a stern tone, scaring Luna slightly. "I've met a lot of stupid people in my life." Luna looked down, not wanting to look him in the eye, thinking she made a poor decision. Matt suddenly smiled. "I'm glad you're not one of them."

Luna looked back up and made eye contact with Matt. "Really?" she asked.

"Damn straight." Matt replied. "Covering yourself in your own piss is a great way to get the scent off you. But it won't cover you for long. The bear will sooner or later find the scent again. You only delayed the inevitable. But, that still counts for something. Come on, let's get you back to the group." Luna extended her arms and went in for a hug; Matt placed his hands in a defensive position. "At least wash yourself first before you hug me. A little hand sanitizer goes a long way."

Luna realized her mistake. "Oh." she said. "Sorry dude."

Matt and Luna began walking together to find the rest of her siblings. "You know, Luna, you might be the first." Matt began with a deadpan expression.

Luna looked at Matt in confusion. "First what?" she asked.

Matt kept his deadpan look and avoided eye contact, more focus of what was ahead of him. "The first person I genuinely don't hate and actually enjoy being around with."

Luna grew a shocked look, as her eyes grew wide as dinner plates. "You… don't hate me?" she stammered in shock. "So that means… we're like… friends, dude?"

"I'll kill you." Matt replied.

Luna's shocked expression quickly died to one of annoyance. "You're really hard to figure out. You know that, Matt?" Luna stated.

"Shut up, Luna." Matt replied in a deadpan tone as they walked back to their friends and siblings.

* * *

Lincoln and Lynn sat on the ground, playing Tic Tac Toe, waiting for their comrades to return. Lynn placed a circle on a square as Lincoln placed an the final X, winning the game. The boy gave his sister a smug look as Lynn threw her stick on the ground in frustration.

At that moment, leaves began rustling, and out came Matt, Luan, Leni, and the newly found Luna.

"Luna!" the rest of her siblings shouted.

They each ran over to her and gave their rock star sister a giant hug. They suddenly began sniffing the air, smelling the foul odor.

"What's that smell?" asked Lynn.

"Luna covered herself with piss." Matt nonchalantly replied.

All at once, the siblings let go of Luna and began wiping themselves, trying to get rid of the pee. "EW!" they all said at once.

"That's literally disgusting!"

"Super gross!" Lynn shouted.

"I got pee on my dress AGAIN!" Lola shouted.

"The first time when I got peed on, I kind of liked it, but now it's just gross." Luan said. The rest of her siblings, as well as Matt, gave her a disgusted look mixed with confusion.

"That's fuckin' disgusting." Matt replied.

At that moment, Lola's stomach began to growl, indicating her hunger. "Hey, Matt," she said. "can we eat now? I'm starving!"

"Yeah, I am too!" Lana added.

"It appears that all of us are in need of serious nutrition." Lisa stated.

"Alright," Matt said. "stay here. I'm gonna go hunt us a deer. It'll take a while but I'll be right back."

Matt grabbed his signature gun and headed off into the depths of the forest, leaving the Loud children by the ridge. They all sat on the logs as they waited patiently for Matt to return, despite the fact that he just left.

"I'm hungry!" Lola complained. "I can't wait any longer!"

"Lola, he literally just left." Lori told her younger sister.

"By my calculations, our adoptive sibling will return in about an hour… give or take." Lisa added.

"That's if the Forest of Death doesn't claim another victim." Lucy said in a grim tone.

"Come on guys!" Lincoln exclaimed. "Just wait patiently. I mean, Matt just left. It takes a while to hunt deer for food."

 **BANG!**

Everyone was startled at the sudden gunshot that emitted from the forest, flinching at the sudden loud noise. "Or maybe not." Lincoln took back his words. "Wow. He sure works fast."

 **BANG! BANG BANG!**

"He must be having trouble killing that deer." Lincoln said, smiling at the fact that Matt was working as hard as he could to provide for him and his sisters.

 **BANG BANG! BANG! BANG!**

All of a sudden, the mood in the area was not so happy, as it drastically changed. "Something's not right." Lincoln said. "Why is he taking so many shots?"

"Maybe the deer is very fast?" suggested Lana.

 **ROAR**

That roar shook everyone, inflicting them with fear all throughout their bodies. They suddenly began silently panicking for the worst, that a certain omnivore mammal found them once more.

"Was that the bear?" asked Lucy.

"I don't think so." Lisa replied. **B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BANG!** "It sounds smaller."

Lincoln turned around to face his sisters, wondering if any of them knew what that sound was. Suddenly, at that moment, Matt emerged from the forest, wielding his gun as he ran as face as he could.

"We have to leave!" Matt shouted. "We have to leave now!"

"What? Why?! What's going on?!" asked Lori as Matt ran passed her.

"Run! Just run! Let's get out of here! Let's get out of here! Let's get out of here!" Matt shouted to the group.

All of a sudden, a cougar emerged from the bushes that Matt ran out of, with a few bullet holes/wounds on its body. It growled before making a sprint for Matt, whom was running as fast as possible. This was proved to be a failure, as the cougar pounced Matt on his back, causing him to fall to the ground and drop his gun.

He turned over and was met with the fangs of the carnivorous, wild feline. He quickly used his hand to push the cougar away but no before to bit onto his shoulder. He screamed out in pain as blood gushed out of his shoulder. Before he could grab his knife, the cougar slashed his chest, engraving it with deep claw marks. He screamed out in pain again as he began yelling.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! COUGAAAAR! IT BIT MY ARM!" he shouted as loud as he could. "GET IT- GET IT-! GET IT OFF!"

Blood gushed out of Matt's left shoulder as well as his chest. His vision began fading and began to blur, and soon, his strength began to diminish.

Lincoln ran over to Matt's 300 Blackout and grabbed it from the ground. He aimed the gun at the cougar and unloaded an entire clip onto it, though it was a difficult task, as he was a kid firing an assault rifle. However, he still managed to keep the gun steady as the cougar quickly died and fell on top of Matt.

Matt's hearing began to fade as well; all he could hear were echoes and the sound of his own heartbeat. Everything went in slow motion as Lynn ran up to him and pushed the cougar off his body. Lori ran up to Matt and examined him, seeing how visibly wounded he was.

"He needs help! Now!" her shouts echoed as Matt's vision finally faded and passed out from blood loss.

* * *

Matt opened his eyes, finally waking up from unconsciousness, only to be greeted by an unusual sight… nothing. He blinked before sitting up, realizing he was in a tent. Off to the side was Lincoln, who was eating a piece of meat before realizing Matt was awake.

"Oh, you're awake! Thank goodness." Lincoln said with his mouth full; he swallowed afterwards.

"Where am I?" he asked. He felt a sudden pain on his shoulder. "O- O- Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" He groaned in pain. "Ugh. What happened? Why does my shoulder hurt… and my chest as well."

"You don't remember?" the white haired boy asked. "You were attacked by a cougar."

Matt raised an eyebrow. "A cougar?" he asked.

Lincoln nodded his head. "Hm-mm." he replied. "You were bit on the shoulder and it clawed your chest. Don't worry, Leni patched you up… Or well… 'tried' to patch you up at least. But we still managed to stop the bleeding."

Matt groaned as he sat up some more. "Don't worry." he groaned. "I'm still in one piece. I'm not dead yet," he grunted in pain. "but not exactly healthy."

"Well we're just glad you're still alive." Lincoln said. "We'd be lost without you."

"Nah, I'm sure you'd find your way." Matt reassured him.

"No, really!" Lincoln exclaimed. "You've helped us throughout this whole journey, you're the perfect person to lead us to Petoskey. We're happy we came along with you. Believe it or not, you're like a brother to us, Matt."

Matt gave off a rare sight: a smile. "Thanks, Snow White."

Lincoln stood up, grunting along the way. "Well I'd better check on my sisters." he said. "Lola is still peeved that we're using her tent as a resting area for you." He turned around and grabbed a plate of meat and gave it to Matt. "This is dinner." Lincoln said. "It's the meat from the cougar."

Matt scoffed. "Perfect revenge." Matt joked as he took a bite out of the meat.

Lincoln chuckled at his humor. "I'll be outside if you need me. Alright?"

Matt nodded, satisfying Lincoln as he exited the tent; Matt continued to eat the piece of meat on his plate, before having a thirst for water. He began looking all around the tent, trying to find his water bottle. He rummaged through every item: his sleeping bag, his pillow, the lamp beside his sleeping bag.

He couldn't find it anywhere.

He came to the conclusion that the water bottle wasn't inside the tent, forcing Matt to ask someone outside if they _have_ seen it. He opened the tent and was about to shout if anyone has seen his bottle, before he accidentally began eavesdropping in the middle of a conversation by the campfire.

"He's not even nice." Leni could be heard saying.

"I know! He's literally THE worst!" Lori exclaimed.

Matt began wondering who they were talking about, raising an eyebrow in the process. He leaned in closer to continue listening in on their conversation.

"Makes me wonder how people even stand him." Lynn said.

"I bet they don't." Lola replied. "I bet they HATE that guy!"

"No wonder he doesn't have any friends." Luan's voice could be heard. "He sounds like a real scumbag if you ask me."

"I hope the sweet embrace of death appears on his doorstep to take him away from this world." Lucy's grim voice said. "It'd be better off without him."

Matt's eyes widened, finally realizing who they were talking him. They were talking about him.

"I've met far more bearable people that I can withstand but he… he's not even worth waiting in the lobby for the dentist to call you." Lisa's lisp said.

"Yeah." Lana agreed. "If you ask me, he sounds like a total loser."

"Tell me about it, dudes." Luna's raspy voice could be heard. "He's a real party pooper, brahs. Would NOT want to invite him to a concert with me. He'll just ruin it just by being there."

Matt was completely surprised to even hear Luna say that about him. Just earlier that day, they established a connection, now Matt was wondering if it was all fake.

"I'd hate to be his brother." Lincoln said. "I don't blame his parents for hating him that much."

Now Matt was even more hurt. Just hearing Lincoln say that stung even worse than a thousand bees. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, he just couldn't. But then again, who else were they talking about. He's been the center of attention for the better part of the 2 weeks he's been spending with them.

Matt closed the tent and sat on his sleeping bag. He felt hurt, betrayed… angry. All those things they said to him were revealed as lies. They were playing him from the start. They never cared for him, they just toyed with him for fun. All for their amusement.

Matt scowled as he finally realized the truth: they were no better than his other family. They were never his friends. However, he didn't feel completely angry… he felt sad. Sad and betrayed. Because the ones he thought he could call his friends and family, the ones he could trust… were no longer there in his life anymore.

His inner demon was right… they were never there to help him… just to make him feel even more weak than he already is. Now only thing matters to Matt right now: getting his vengeance as well as getting rid of those backstabbing bastards he used to call family.

He placed his hand on the tent floor, feeling a bump by the edge of the sleeping bag case. He looked over and moved the case out of the way, revealing his empty water bottle. He grabbed it and just simply stared at the bottle in sadness.

He scoffed. "No water." he said to himself in a sad tone.

* * *

"I don't doubt that everyone who knew him hated him." Lori agreed with Lincoln over by the campfire. "Matt literally spits out his name like it was venom."

"He's never mentioned his father over the period of time he's been staying with us." Lisa replied.

"This was before, Lis." Luna corrected. "Remember when he shouted at his pops when we hit him with our car."

"Was that the first or the second time we hit him?" asked Lynn.

"The first."

"Ah."

"Whatever the case is," Lincoln began. "his father sounds like a real douchebag. Excuse my language."

"Linc, bro," Luna put a hand on his shoulder. "every swear word in the English language defines Matt's dad if he says he treats him the way he treated him. If anything, he sounds like a…" Luna turned to her younger siblings before leaning on the 5 older siblings, including Lincoln, "like a real cocksucker."

"Or the other c-word." Lincoln added.

"Right, that too."

"Whatever." Lincoln said. "I'm just glad Matt is with us instead of Dick Van Dad."

"Heh. Nice one, Linc." Luan complimented her only brother.

Lori began yawning. "Well, I'm literally out of energy." she said. "I think I'm gonna head to bed."

"Yeah, same dude." Lynn replied. "We need the energy to get out of these woods tomorrow."

She and Lincoln extinguished the fire with dirt, as everyone else laid on their backpacks to try and fall asleep. "Goodnight everyone." Lincoln said.

"Goodnight, Lincoln." everyone else replied.

As the crickets chirped and the kids laid on the ground, heads on their backpacks, a certain Sparrow made an improvised nest on a nearby tree. Jack gathered a huge leaf and fluffed his pillow, before placing the leaf over him and quickly falling asleep… until an owl landed on the branch he was sleeping on, shaking the whole thing.

Jack looked over to see the owl staring off into the distance before hooting extremely loud beside him. Jack groaned as he placed the pillow over his head, trying to block out the loud hooting.

Too bad that didn't work out for Jack. This was gonna be another long night for Jack the Sparrow.

* * *

 **(This one time, my buddy Keith started up a historic tour, on account of his mom took him to Colonial Williamsburg, and it's like a license to print money at them places. Now you might ask yourself how an honest attempt to recreate the majesty of Colonial times turned into raccoon fights at five bucks a pop in Keith's backyard, ha-ha. Man, the answer to that particular question is that Keith is sharing a place with his two brothers and them being assholes who wouldn't let them do it anywhere but the backyard; well, add that to Keith didn't technically have any, y'know, history to put on display, but he did have a whole family of raccoons living in the chassis of an old car and you'd begin to understand.**

 **Yo, my buddy Keith had his car drop in a lake off a bridge just like this one here... Yeah, see, he was driving over it late at night and there in the middle of the bridge was what looked like, In Keith's estimation, like a dead bear, so Keith gets out his car to find a stick to poke at it right? Well, it turns out it's just some lady's fur coat that musta fallen out her car, so, hey, free coat, right? Now, owls won't normally attack a man, but in this case, they were hungry, and that made them reckless, man. Keith reckons that they musta been there for hours watchin' what they thought was a bear carcass, 'cause as soon as he picked it up, them owls had claws in him inch deep. Well, Keith figures his best bet is to jump in a lake, 'cause owls can't swim. Well, them owls could. He fought them for like 20 minutes treading water, and during that time, a boat came, bridge went up and down went Keith's car. Man, sometimes nature's just tryin' to teach us, if we'd only listen.)**


	22. Tied in Captivity

**(Yeah, I'm a gamer. I play the dinosaur hopping game whenever the Wi-Fi's down.)**

* * *

Finally, after days of wandering in the forest, after many painful hours, our adventurers were finally at their destination: Petoskey.

The group stood from a hill filled with trees, as they looked over the port side city of Petoskey.

"Oh my God! We finally made it!" Lori exclaimed.

"FINALLY! WOOOO! BABY, ALRIGHT!" Lynn shouted as she jumped in the air.

"Although our journey was filled with possible dangers, I must admit it was quite fun and relieving to hear that we're finally at our destination." Lisa stated.

"And it's all thanks to Matt." Lincoln replied. He turned to his older brother like figure. "Isn't it, Matt?"

Matt, remembering what the white haired boy, as well as his sister, said about him last night, was not to please to see Lincoln sucking up to him the way he was. He responded by glaring at the young kid, looking at him as if he just offended his culture; he growled a little bit.

"Whatever." he replied in a cold tone.

"Huh?" asked Lincoln, wondering why Matt was so harsh all of a sudden.

At that moment, a stomach could be heard growling; the group turned to see Lynn rubbing her stomach. "Sorry." she apologized. "I haven't eaten since last night. I could go for a nice hot meal right about now since we're here in the city."

"Yeah!" Lola agreed. "Hey, Matt! Can we go to a restaurant and eat?"

"Yeah. No, we're not doing that." Matt replied.

"Pleeeeeeeease?" pleaded Lola as she began giving him her puppy eyes.

Matt was unfazed by this action. "You really think if you quiver like a dog, I'm gonna let go?" he asked. "The answer is no."

"Come on, Matt. Please?" pleaded Lincoln.

Matt glared at the young boy again. "I already said NO!" he yelled.

At that moment, his own stomach began growling, crying out hunger. He awkwardly looked at the group as they gave him smug looks. Matt groaned in frustration.

"Ugh! Damnit, fine!" he shouted. "But I'll need to get money first."

"I think there's an ATM in the city somewhere." Luan suggested.

"No." Matt rejected. "I have an easier way of getting money."

* * *

Matt walked inside a corner store, being the only customer inside. His shoes loudly stomped on the ground as he was surprisingly walking without his assault rifle around his back. He walked up to the front counter, where a middle aged Korean man stood by, waiting for the next customer.

"Can I help you?" asked the Korean man.

Matt smiled. "Yeah. Hi." he greeted back. "I'll have- Everything in the register."

The young adolescent suddenly pulled out his Beretta 92 and pointed it at the man, giving off an intimidating look. The Korean man raised his hands in the air, an act of surrender, as he stared into Matt's eyes. Matt didn't say a word as the man continued to surrender, not moving a muscle.

The man suddenly looked down, seeing his shotgun on a shelf behind the counter, an act Matt caught.

"I wouldn't grab that shotgun behind the counter if I was you." Matt said as he continued to aim his gun at the man. "I'm already aiming at you. You would be the first to die and I know how to work a cash register. So either way, I'm taking your money. We can do this the easy way…" Matt then cocked his gun. "…or the hard way."

* * *

The Loud children waited out front of a restaurant called Morningwood, sitting on the bench or leaning against the wall out in front. They waited patiently for Matt to return from wherever he was getting his money, unbeknownst of his current whereabouts.

Right at that moment, Matt returned back with a plastic bag in his hand. He reached inside and grabbed a handful of money. "Told ya I would get money." he said.

"Why is it in a plastic bag?" asked Luna.

"None of your business." Matt immediately replied. "Let's just get inside. I'm starving."

Matt barged through them and entered the restaurant, as the others followed suit. Almost immediately, a waiter walked up to them and was immediately surprised by the amount of people coming inside.

"Table for 11, please." Matt said.

The waiter stared at the group with a surprised look, as Lana waved her hand at the man. The waiter lead the group to an open long table in the back, luckily for them. Each of them sat at the chairs as the waiter handed them menus for them to decide what they wanted.

"Shall we start with drinks?" asked the waiter.

"We'll all have waters." Matt answered.

"No fair!" Lola exclaimed. "I want orange juice!"

"And I want fruit punch!" Lana complained.

"And I wanted a strawberry smoothie!" Leni complained as well.

"Zip it, or you guys aren't getting anything. You hear me?" scolded Matt.

Immediately, everyone closed their mouths, as the waiter left the table.

"So, Matt." Lori stared. "I can't wait to meet your friend. What's their name again?"

"Keith." Matt immediately replied, having prepared for any unexpected questions to pop up.

"Keith sounds like a cool name." Luna replied. "Is he a cool guy?"

"90% of his body is covered in 3rd degree burns if you consider that cool." Matt replied.

"Cool?" asked Luan. "He sounds _hot_ to me. Hahahahahaha! Get it?" Everyone groaned in response to Luan's pun/lame joke. "Hey, Matt. Get it? Because you said he's covered in 3rd degree burns and called him cool. So I said he sounds hot because he covered in-"

"Yeah, no, I got it." Matt interjected as he waved her off.

"What's he look like?" asked Lynn.

"He has a hat." Matt replied.

"How old is he?" asked Lincoln.

"Jesus Christ." Matt mumbled. "What did I get myself into?"

At that moment, the waiter came by with a tray full of glasses of water. "Here are your waters." he said as he placed them down on the table. "I'll give you more time to decide, alright?" he asked as he left.

"So… is he single?" asked Lori.

"Lori, you already have a boyfriend." Lincoln remind.

"I know that, Lincoln." Lori replied. "I'm just thinking that maybe he and my friend Dana could hook up if they met later on."

"Does he play sports?" asked Lynn.

"Does he play in a band?" asked Luna.

"Does he like poetry?" asked Lucy.

"Oh for God sakes!" Matt exclaimed.

As Matt was being bombarded with questions, at a far booth, a person was sitting in the dark, the light above it being broken. Unbeknownst to the group, the shadowy figure was eavesdropping on them, before coming out of the darkness and revealing itself.

The person was revealed to be Joseph "Scarface" Hindwick, Steve Dillon's right hand man.

Joseph grabbed his phone and immediately began dialing a number in a frantic nature. He held the phone to his ear as the ringer rung in it. Finally, someone on the other line answered.

"It's Scarface." he started. "No listen- Listen to me! I'm- I'm in- I'm in Petoskey and I- Listen! I saw your son!... You heard me!... Yes! Your son!..."

* * *

About an hour later after their lunch, the group left and began walking wherever Matt was taking them. They were currently walking on a sidewalk, Matt at this time had his gun in his bag to conceal it from the public.

Over the course of the hour, the group began growing impatient and curious as to where Matt was taking them.

"Hey, Matt." Lincoln began. "Where exactly is your friend Keith?"

"Somewhere." Matt replied.

"But aren't you supposed to be taking us to his house?" asked Lucy.

"Look, why do you care?" asked Matt as he turned around to face his followers. "I didn't ask for you guys to come with me in the first place!"

"Geez, Matt." Lori groaned. "Why are you so angry?"

"Why are YOU so persistent?!" Matt yelled. "I never wanted you guys to follow me here and yet you did! Not only that, but you refused to leave! Why are you guys here?!'

"Because we wanted to help you." Lori replied, getting a little angry. "We're family and that's what families-"

"Enough about families alright!" Matt interjected. "I get it! You see me as a brother but I don't! I don't even see you guys as family members to be honest! Just some annoying, pathetic people I have to put up with!"

Everyone gasped at Matt's comment, feeling hurt deep down in their hearts.

"I just wanted you guys to leave me alone! That's it! That's all I wanted! But no! You decided to come with me and annoy me some more while I'm trying to do the most important task in my life! You guys irritate me to no end, you know that, right?!" Matt shouted.

"That's was the most awful thing you've ever said to us, and you've said some awful things in the past." Lori scolded.

"Fuck you." Matt replied.

This angered Lori some more. "I don't know who you think you are talking back at me like that but I don't appreciate it!"

"Well I don't appreciate everything you guys said about me last night!" Matt yelled.

"Huh?" everyone asked.

"What are you talking about, dude?" asked Luna.

"Oh, you forgot?" asked Matt. "Typical! 'He's not even nice.' 'He's literally the worst.' 'He sounds like a total loser.' 'Would NOT invite him to a concert.' You think I didn't hear all that crap last night? That tent ain't sound proof you know."

"You heard all we said?" asked Lori, bewildered.

"Of course I did you dumb idiot!" Matt yelled. "You're just like everyone else who used to call me their friend! You say that you're my friend and would do anything for me, but then later you stab me in the back and say that our friendship was just a lie. LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!" Matt continued to yell. "You fucking Judas! You're all fucking Judases! Just like the rest of my friends!"

"Does that mean Keith is a Judith as well?" asked Leni.

"Judas, Leni." Lori corrected.

Matt fell silent, having already letting the truth slip out. Lisa caught on with his sudden silence and immediately deduce the situation at hand. "There is no Keith. Is there?" asked Lisa as she squinted her eyes.

Matt was now officially busted, his lie having been solved; there was no point in hiding the truth anymore.

"No… There isn't." Matt replied.

"Then why are you all the way out here in Petoskey?" asked Lincoln.

Matt sighed through his nose. There was no point to hide anything anymore. "It's because of my dad." he replied in a grim tone.

Now the group was even more confused. "What about your dad?" asked Lynn.

"You wanna know the truth? Fine! I'll tell you the truth!" Matt shouted. "I came all the way up here so I could kill my dad!" Everyone gasped all at once. "He's tortured me and abused me for far too long! And he lead my brother to death! He wanted me to kill him but that damn cougar got to him! I HAD TO PUT DOWN MY OWN BROTHER THANKS TO THAT SON OF A BITCH! So I came all the way up here to kill him and finally put an end to all of this! My whole life is a nightmare thanks to that bastard!"

"So you're gonna kill him?!" yelled Lori. "I know he was awful to you but that's no reason to kill a man!"

"I don't care!" Matt shouted. "I walked through the valley of the shadow of death for far too long! And far too long I've been fearing evil! Not anymore. I'm gonna put an end to all of this once and more."

"You're insane!" Lori shouted. "You've gone completely insane! You can't kill anyone! That's just wrong! You could literally go to jail for that!"

"I've been holding my tongue ever since you killed your clone, buried him, and brought his decapitated head back to our house but now we're talking about an actual human being! Even if he's your own father!" Lincoln exclaimed.

"Shut up, Snow White." Matt harshly replied.

"Matt." Luan's soft voice could be heard. Matt turned to Luan, who had a concerned look on her face. "I thought you said you valued human life, that it's sacred and should be treated with care. Remember back at the Chortle Portal?"

"Yeah! Well! Y-You thought wrong!" Matt shouted as he left the group to go on his own.

The group watched Matt leave as he turned the corner, finally leaving them. They were speechless, surprised… and even heartbroken. They didn't move from that spot, not even knowing where to go or how to get home.

"What now?" asked Leni.

"We turn around… and go back home." Lori replied.

So they did. They did turn around and were preparing to leave town and head back home. However, as quickly as their journey back home started, it quickly ended, when several black SUV's rolled up to the curb. The doors opened and out came several mercenaries, whom surrounded the Loud siblings.

They were immediately frightened at the sight of their firearms, as the little ones even clung onto their older siblings for protection.

"What's going on, dudes?!' asked Luna.

At that moment, a familiar came out of the passenger seat of one of the SUV's. Joseph walked up the siblings and stared down directly at them.

"Where's Matilda?" asked Joseph in a deep, intimidating voice.

"Who?" asked Lori as she raised her eyebrow.

"The boy!" Joseph shouted. "Matilda Dillon! Where is he?"

"He… He uh…" Lori stammered before sighing, looking down in the process. "He left… He's gone."

"Do you know where he went?" asked Joseph.

"No… We don't." Lori answered.

Joseph squinted his eyes at the girl, not believing a word she said. "Tie them up." he ordered his men.

"What?" asked Lori.

"They know where he is." Joseph said. "We'll bring back to the cabin, interrogate him. The boss wants to know where the boy is and we're gonna find out one way or another."

All at once, each of the Loud siblings got their hands tied by cable ties and were thrown into the cars. "Hey! You can't do this!" Lynn shouted. "I'll kick your butts! You hear?!"

"You won't get away with-"

The door was slammed shut before Lincoln could finish his sentence; Joseph scanned the area before getting inside the passenger side of the vehicle, shutting it along the way. The SUV's all drove off to an unknown location, taking the Loud children with them.

Right that moment, Matt came around the corner, having a completely pissed expression on his face.

"And by the way, if you guys tell anyone… that I'm…" Matt stopped himself once he realized that the Loud children weren't there anymore. He was all alone in the area. "Huh." he said to himself.

He began wondering where the siblings were, before realizing he didn't care and had things to be taken care of immediately. He turned around and stared to head back where he was going to, but no before looking behind him, still trying to figure out where the children disappeared in less than a minute.

He turned the corner again and disappeared himself.

* * *

The Loud siblings rode in the SUV, along with the other mercenaries as well as Joseph himself. They kept quiet, not wanting to get anymore trouble than they already had. The drive was peacefully, and strangely, quiet, as there was no radio and the only sound was the car engine; all the tinted windows were closed as well.

Everything _was_ quiet, before the driver started to hum a song.

"Hmm hm hmmm hm. Hmm hm hmmm hm. Duck, dodge, push and shove. It's how we show our love." he quietly hummed. "Hmm hm hmmm hm. Hmm hm hmmm hm. One boy, ten girls. Wouldn't trade it for the world." he turned to see his colleagues, as well as the Loud children, awkwardly staring at him. "It's catchy." he reasoned.

The SUV's soon rolled up to a small, beat down, old cabin in the woods, surrounded by trees.

The door was slammed open as the men pushed the Loud children into the cabin, where they were set down on the ground, their hands still tied behind their back.

The children took a look at the cabin; it was a small, one story cabin with no rooms. There was a bookshelf across the room from them, and on the far end of the cabin was a desk, bookshelves behind it as well. There appeared to be a sleeping bag, hinting as if someone was sleeping inside.

Overall, the place looked absolutely garbage. Absolutely terrible all around, like it hasn't been used in years.

"Man," Luna began. "this is a real…" she stopped herself, trying to find the right words to describe the cabin.

"Shithole?" asked Lincoln.

"Yeah, it's a shithole."

* * *

A big house, a two story house, with a gate and a pathway leading into the front entrance stood still in the woods, as it gave off an "old and abandoned" vibe. Matt stood in front of the pathway, looking directly at it; this was the place in the photo that his father said he would be living at.

It was now or never.

Matt began walking towards the house, opening the gate and continuing to walk to it, ready to confront his abusive dad.

* * *

The Loud children all struggled to get out of their cable ties, but to no avail. Suddenly, the front door opened and in came the man himself: Steve Dillon.

Steve took one look at the children and already he seemed disappointed. He cupped his hands together and brought them to his face, a very disappointed and irritated expression painted on it.

"I thought I told you to 'grab… Matilda'." Steve calmly said to Joseph. The right hand man himself looked away in embarrassment, as well as fear. "Yes, that's right, 'grab… Matilda.' Not, 'grab these kids.' Now I'm very specific whenever I tell someone what to do. 'Matilda… Kids… Matilda!… Kids.' Do those words… sound… the same?"

"But we couldn't find him." Joseph replied in a scared tone.

"'Couldn't find him'?" asked Steve. "How hard is it to find a transvestite in a small town like this?"

"But these kids were with him." Joseph responded.

"These kids were with him?" asked Steve. Joseph nodded. Steve looked down at the scared batch of siblings. He bent down on his knees and stared directly at Lori, forming a creepy smile on his face. "Hello there… What's your name?"

"Go to hell." Lori gritted.

Steve scoffed and chuckled. "I like that name." he said. "Brings vigorous and shows that you're not afraid of anything. I like you already. So, I'm gonna cut to the chase. My son… is missing. A little birdie told me that you guys were with him. So tell me…" he then got extremely close to her face. "Where is he?"

"I don't know." Lori whispered.

"What do you mean, 'you don't know'?" he asked. "Am I wrong. You guys were with him but now… you're not. Why is that? Did he leave? Where did he go?"

"We had a fight… and then he just left… to kill you." Lori answered.

Steve chuckled as he stood up again. "Aaaaaahhh. That kid." he groaned. "Thinks he can take on the alpha male. That wolf cub doesn't realize how wrong he is. I bet he's searching that old house far away from here on the other side of the city. He's gonna be surprised when he realizes I'm not there."

"Why aren't you there?" asked Lincoln.

"Ahh! The only boy in the group!" Steve extended his arms as he smiled. "You must be in charge of your sisters."

"I'm in charge of my siblings." Lori corrected.

"Of course." Steve said. "I mean, I assume you're the oldest of the batch, right?" Steve looked back at Lincoln. "Let me tell you something, kid. Simple truth is, if a man's a man, he honors his responsibilities… Sisters are one of them. You're the only boy in this group and you have to protect your sisters, no matter what. When your mom and dad are gone, leaving only you guys… you're the man of the house then. No matter what your older sister say, you're in charge and you have to protect them from danger. Kind of like now."

Lincoln, not knowing how to react, took Steve's words into consideration.

"Now, to answer your question kid." Steve began. "The reason why I'm not at that house anymore, is because that bastard of a son, or if you could call him that. I mean, you take one look at him, you would think he's a girl, right? He's the reason why I'm not living there. He caused my wife to die of a cocaine addiction and not only that, but our sweet, little daughter, Ashley, also died as well, THANKS TO THAT SON OF A BITCH! He caused my older son Derek to disobey me and that had to not go unpunished. He caused my whole life to just fall apart all because he wouldn't obey orders! When a person tells you something what to do, you do it, no matter if you don't like it or not. I have tried countless of punishment for that kid but he does not listen. He's a weak link, a liability… he lacks will."

"So you torture him and lock him in the basement?" asked Lori. "That's not punishment at all! That's abuse!"

"Whatever it takes for him to listen to me."

"Maybe the reason why he never listens to you is maybe because he doesn't trust you." Lincoln growled. "You abuse him and you called him a transvestite! That's not what dads are supposed to do! Dads are supposed to be loving and supportive of their kids! Not just throw them out in the trash because they don't like them! You said so yourself, if a man's a man, he honors his responsibilities. Children are a definite responsibility."

"Yeah, well… here's the thing…" Steve crouched down and looked Lincoln directly in the eye. "He's not my child." Steve whispered as he smiled. He stood back up again, groaning in the process. "I adopted him in Germany, my friend gave him to me. So… I can do whatever I want with the little shit if he turns out to be a liability. And, oh boy, has he turned into a liability."

"You're a monster." Luna growled.

"I'm a man who takes action." Steve retorted. "No matter what." Steve turned to Joseph. "Find out what they know… And do whatever you have to do to get the information squeezed out of their tiny brains. I'll be out front."

Steve began walking to the exit, as the many mercenaries moved out the way. He walked through the front door, along with the mercenaries, leaving the cabin; the only people in the room were the Loud children, and Joseph Hindwick.

Despite working for Steve, Joseph was strangely uncomfortable about hurting children in order to get information out of their mouths. He crouched down and stared directly at the siblings. However, instead of a sadistic, cynical expression on his fact, like that of Steve's, Joseph's expression was more sympathetic and concerned.

"Listen, kids." he said a soft voice. "I don't want to hurt you. Now you can take that as threat or a sincere warning but unfortunately my job requires me to extract useful and valued information out of people in any form or way. So trust me when I say I really don't want to do anything to hurt you guys. I'm a family man myself. I have two kids at home and my wife… she's a housewife, so I make the money and pay the bills around there. I'm just trying to look out for my family so please, just tell me where Matt is."

"We don't know!" Lori exclaimed. "Like I said before, we had a fight and he just left! He may be at the old house that Steve said he used to live but left! You can try checking out there but believe me when I say this, we don't know where he is. He could literally be anywhere in this city or even possibly left the city by now! He has money so he could've taken the bus!"

"Unlikely." Lisa cut in. "He's wieldling concealed firearms. My theory is that he's going the way which he came from, through the Forest of Death."

"Whatever." Lori said. "Just try that old house that Steve used to live."

"Joseph!" Steve yelled from outside. "I need you!"

Joseph stood back up and walked out of the cabin through the front entrance, leaving the tied up Loud children. They sat there, all huddled in a group, in silence, the only noises were the muffled voices of Steve and Joseph behind the entrance door.

At that moment, Lincoln suddenly got an idea. When he was tied with the cable ties, they tied his hands in the front, as opposed to his sisters, who got their hands tied in the back. The white haired boy gripped the tie with his teeth, clenching onto it as hard as he could. Then, he began tightening the ties.

"Linc, what are you doing?" whispered Lynn. Lincoln placed his hands over his head. "Why are you tightening your ties? That's just gonna make it even-" Lincoln swung his hands down as hard as he could, breaking the ties and setting him free. "-…worse." Lynn finished, astonished at what her brother did.

"Where'd you learn that move, bro?" asked Luna.

"Internet." Lincoln replied. "Alright, let me just untie you guys and we'll be out of here."

Suddenly, at that moment, the door opened and in came Steve and several mercenaries, along with Joseph. "What the?!" he exclaimed. Lincoln stared at Steve, like a deer in a headlight, caught in fear. "He's out of his ties. Kill him!"

"What?!" Joseph shouted.

The mercenaries aimed their assault rifles at the boy and were prepared to fire. However, Lincoln thought fast and quickly made a run for the window. The mercenaries fired their weapons, but Lincoln was fast enough that the bullets only nearly hit his backside as he sped across the rooms, bullet holes on the ground and wall following him.

Lincoln then made an improvised move: he jumped out the window, completely breaking the glass as he landed on the outside. Realizing stopping the pain would slow him down, he endured it and kept on running, deep into the forest.

The mercenaries ran to the window and aimed their guns outside, but to their surprise, they couldn't see the boy. They lost hm.

Realizing that he was probably long gone by now, they left the window and went back to their boss.

Unbeknownst to the mercenaries, Lincoln was actually standing behind a tree; he peaked the corner and realized that the mercenaries weren't by the window anymore. Then, he made his move and ran as fast he could into the forest.

* * *

"Did you get him?" asked Steve in an impatient tone.

"Nah, he got away." one of the mercenaries replied.

"Damnit!" Steve yelled as he slammed his fist onto the desk. "If that kid gets help, then we're all screwed!" Steve groaned as he groped his face, massaging it. He lowered his hands and faced his right hand man. "Scarface," he began. "I want you to find that kid and kill him."

"What?!" shouted Joseph in disbelief.

"And if you see that faggot out there, kill him too!"

Joseph stared at his boss in disbelief, completely bewildered on the absurd order that was just handed to him. His attention then shifted onto the Loud sisters, who gave him scared looks, as if they were pleading him not to follow through. He turned back to his boss and gave him a cold, hard glare.

"No." he replied in a stern voice. Steve was taken back. "I have done countless of orders for you and even though they were wrong, I continued doing them. I need the money to help my family, you know that! I'm okay with the crimes you've told me to commit, but to commit murder, ON A CHILD NO LESS, I stop there! There is no way I am going out there to kill that kid as well as your son! You're a madman, you know that. You've done finally fucking lost it! Killing is bad, but killing a child is worse and there's no way I'm going to do that. That's not who I am. I'm not a murderer… I'm a husband and father looking out for his family. Consider my contract expired because I'm done working with you."

Joseph glared at Steve, giving him the most intimidating, coldest glare he could give. Steve was unfazed by this however and to Joseph's surprise, even smiled, chuckling a little bit.

"I understand." he said a soft voice. "You're a family man… I completely respect that." His smile soon disappeared and was replaced by an angered look. "What I _don't_ respect…" Steve grabbed his knife that was in his pocket. "…are people disobeying MY ORDERS!"

Steve suddenly swung the knife towards Joseph's neck, slitting his throat open. Blood gushed out of the man's throat as it splattered all over Steve's shirt; the mercenaries all flinched and backed up at the sight of their boss getting murdered in cold blood right in front of them.

Joseph began gargling as he grabbed his throat, trying to contain the blood pouring out. However, there was no hope, as containing the blood was proved to be a useless, to no avail. Joseph looked up at his murdered before looking back at the Loud sisters, having a pleading look on his face.

Suddenly, Joseph's gargling stopped, as he collapsed on the ground, finally passing away. Blood poured out of the poor man's throat, spilling all over the wood floor. The Loud sisters all looked and stared at the corpse in udder horror, as some of the younger ones looked away, including Lucy.

The mercenaries were just as speechless and motionless as the Loud sisters. Their boss and friend was just murdered right in front of them for a stupid reason.

One of the mercenaries aimed his gun at Steve. "You killed Scarface." he said. "You killed our boss! We oughta slit your throat as well!"

"Aaaaaah, boys." Steve said in a cheerful tone as he extended his arms. "He's not your boss anymore. He's dead. Just a corpse… I'm your boss now. You work for me." The mercenaries looked at each other in confusion. "I'm the only one who can provide you money… and if you decline… The Big Man will hunt you down… find you… and kill all of you."

The mercenary lowered his gun and turned to his comrade at arms, as if he was trying to ask for an answer.

"So what do you say?" asked Steve. "You ready to call me boss?"

The mercenary turned to Steve as he lowered his gun to the side of his body. "What are our orders… sir?" he asked.

Steve maliciously smiled. "Excellent." he whispered.

The Loud sisters stared at Steve as they continued to be a group with their hand tied behind their backs. If they weren't scared of Steve before… they were now.

Joseph's corpse continued to lay there on the ground, his eyes motionless as the blood continued to pour out of his throat.

* * *

 **(Almost theeeeeeeere. Almost theeeeeeeere!)**


	23. The Sins of the Father

**(Woah man. This is getting intense, dude.)**

* * *

Lincoln ran as fast as he could through the forest, trying to get as much distance from the cabin as far as possible. He looked behind him and realized two things:

He wasn't be followed…

And that he was nowhere near the cabin anymore.

He slowed down before finally coming to a stop; he bent down as he supported himself by holding onto his knees. He began panting, out of breath from the marathon he just ran. He looked all around him and realized that he was in the middle of the forest, deep inside, but not that far deep.

Now he had no idea where to go and who to call for help out in the woods.

"Dang it." he gasped.

 **BANG!**

The sudden, loud gunshot startled the white haired kid as Lincoln fell backwards, falling against a tree. He groaned in pain as he grabbed his head; a deer suddenly fell a few feet in front of him, a bullet hole in it's heart. Footsteps could be heard as a person walked up to the dead deer.

Lincoln knew who that person was.

"Matt?" he questioned.

Matt, already having his knife out to cut the deer, looked up to see Lincoln laying against the tree.

"Snow White?" he asked in bewilderment. He stood up as he approached Lincoln. "You okay?" Matt asked. Lincoln smiled as he chuckled; Matt suddenly grew an angry expression on his face. "I hope not." he harshly added as he walked back to the deer's corpse.

Ignoring Matt's hostility, Lincoln picked himself up and approached the long haired teen. "Matt," he began. "we need your help."

Matt stabbed the deer corpse before stopping to talk to Lincoln. "We?" he asked. "There's no _we_ anymore. You guys had a chance to be we a long time ago but you screwed that up. After what you guys said to me back in the forest last night."

"Please, Matt! I'm begging you!" Lincoln pleaded. "My sisters-"

"Are what?" Matt interjected. "They forget the marshmallows or the graham crackers? Did they miss the 50% off sale at the mall? Don't have enough money for a pedicure? What, Lincoln?! What do they possibly need from a loser like me!"

"It's your dad!" Lincoln shouted.

"What about him?" Matt asked.

"He has them!" Lincoln replied. "They're tied up in his cabin and I'm afraid he'll kill them."

"Not my problem." Matt began walking away.

"No your problem? Matt, this is your DAD!" Lincoln shouted.

Matt stopped in his tracks and turned around again. "Yeah? So what?!" he yelled. "I'm over it! He's a waste of space anyway! I'm not gonna waste my energy killing that load that should've been swallowed. Makes me wonder what _his_ dad was drinking when he skeeted him out. If you don't know, I'm heading back home. Back to Royal Woods. Then I'm getting on the next train that's leaving for Indianapolis, finally getting out of this state and into a new one, where I can start my new life, have a fresh restart. A new life where I don't have friends that backstab in the middle of the night, literally!"

"Why do you keep saying that?!" Lincoln shouted. "We didn't backstab you! What do you even mean by that?!"

"Figures you forgotten." Matt scoffed. "'He's not even nice.' 'He's literally the worst.' 'I bet they HATE that guy.' 'He sounds like a total loser.' 'I'd hate to be his brother.'" Matt put more emphasis on the last statement. "I heard everything you guys said by the campfire while I was in the tent after that little cougar accident. Who needs enemies when I have friends like you!"

Matt turned around and stormed off, leaving Lincoln realizing the situation at hand. "Wait," he started. "you thought we were talking about you? We weren't talking about you, Matt."

Matt suddenly stopped in his tracks, before slowly turning around, a confused look on his face. "You… weren't… talking about me?" he asked. "Well then who _were_ you talking about then?"

"We were talking about your dad, dude." Lincoln explained. "We were saying on how he must be the worst person ever to be alive and we were right. We've seen what he could do up close and personal. He really is a bad father."

Matt was speechless after the explanation that Lincoln just gave to him. "So… you guys _don't_ think I'm a total loser?" he asked, showing some emotion.

Lincoln sighed. "Matt…" he said.

 **BANG!**

A bullet sped passed between the two and hit a tree; the two adolescents turned to their right and left to see the mercenaries, aiming their guns at them.

"Stop right there!" one of the mercenaries shouted.

"What the f-?" Matt questioned.

One of the mercenaries fired his gun, piercing Matt's left shoulder that was critically bitten by the cougar last night. He screamed in pain as he grabbed his own handgun.

"AGH! Same goddamn arm!" Matt shouted.

He quickly aimed his Beretta M9 at the mercenary and pulled the trigger, killing him as the bullet pierced his forehead.

Matt and Lincoln quickly ran for cover, going opposite directions but ended up hiding behind a huge rock.

"Find them and kill them!" shouted one of the mercenaries.

"Yo!" Matt shouted. "Snow White! Take this!"

Matt threw his handgun at Lincoln, to which he managed to caught, but without fumbling it first. "I don't know how to use a gun!"

"It's easy." Matt shouted. "You aim it at those people and you squeeze the trigger." he explained.

Lincoln stood up and quickly aimed the gun at one of the mercenaries and pulled the trigger. The bullet managed to hit the man, but thanks to his armor, he barely felt a thing.

"I didn't work!" Lincoln shouted.

"Aim for the head!" Matt shouted back as he grabbed his own gun, his 300 Blackout.

He raised his gun over the boulder and began blindly firing it, managing to hit and kill a few mercenaries.

Lincoln stood up and raised his gun at one of the mercenary's head. He pulled the trigger and a bullet shot out of the barrel, hitting the man right in the temple of his head, killing him instantly.

"Now you're getting it!" Matt shouted.

"I just killed a man!" Lincoln shouted.

"Get down, now!" Matt shouted.

Lincoln turned to his side to see a mercenary aiming his gun at him; the young boy quickly ducked and went back to cover. "Matt, I just a killed that man. I'm a murderer!"

"No you're not!" Matt yelled. "It's not murder if they're firing back at you. That's self defense. The only time you can kill someone and not go to jail, unless you're in the military of course."

Some of the mercenaries began getting into cover as they too began opening fire onto the rocks that the two boys were hiding behind.

"Come on out and we won't hurt you!" one of the mercenaries shouted.

Matt peaked his head out of cover. "Oh yeah?!" Matt shouted back. "Then why do I have a bullet in my shoulder then?!" The mercenary began firing his weapon onto the rock, prompting Matt to duck his head down for cover. "Ich steh' unter schweren beschuss! Sie haben uns festgenagelt! (I am under heavy fire! They have us pinned!)" Matt shouted in German.

Matt quickly stood up and fired his 300 Blackout onto the nearest mercenaries, killing them as they fell on the floor. He quickly ducked down, barely getting shot in the head; Matt emptied the magazine as he prepared to get another one to reload his gun.

"Brauche deckung, beim nachladen! (Need cover, I am reloading!)" Matt shouted. Lincoln fired Matt's pistol onto the enemy, killing some or critically wounding others. "Preserve your ammo!" Matt shouted. "That gun doesn't hold that much bullets!"

Lincoln's gun began to click, indicating he used up all the bullets. "Too late!" Lincoln shouted.

"Du musst mich veräppeln! (You have got to be kidding me!)" Matt exclaimed. "Los da! Wir müssen sie ausschalten! Knallt sie ab! (Advance! We must eliminate them! Pick them off!)"

The mercenaries continued to open fire onto the two adolescents, as one of them began heading his way towards the rock that Matt was behind. Hearing the man's footsteps, he set his gun down and waited for the man to pop up from above.

Indeed did the man pop up from above. Thinking quickly, Matt simultaneously pushed the gun away from his face as well as grabbed his knife and thrusted it into the man's throat, killing him. He turned to his left to see a few mercenaries aiming their guns at him.

Matt quickly used dead mercenary as cover, as the other mercenaries opened fire onto the body of their dead colleague, saving Matt.

"Wir sind festgenagelt! (We're pinned down!)" Matt shouted.

"I'm empty handed here!" Lincoln shouted back.

"Deckung! Geh' in deckung! (Cover! Get to cover!)" Matt shouted. The mercenaries stopped firing as they proceeded to walk towards the rocks where the two were hidden. "Stand your ground!" Matt shouted.

The two braced themselves as the mercenaries proceeded to march over to the rocks, getting ready to open fire. Lincoln shut his eyes shut as he covered his eyes, tears coming out of his eyes. Matt on the other hand simply leaned back onto the rock, already accepting his untimely death.

And then… it happened…

One of the mercenaries was suddenly attacked by a giant grizzly bear as it began to rip and tear the flesh off the man's body, including his armor and clothing.

Each of the mercenaries began screaming and shouting as they open fired onto the bear. Matt and Lincoln looked over their rocks to see that the mercenaries were being attacked by the bear.

"What the?!" Lincoln exclaimed.

"Mommy's very angry." Matt whispered.

"Kill it!"

"Kill the bear!"

"It bit my face!"

Several screams and shouts, as well as gunshots, covered the forest for miles, as the men were too distracted by the bear to even focus on their main task at hand.

"Go! Go!" Matt shouted. "While they're distracted! Go! Los geht's! (Let's go!)"

Matt and Lincoln quickly ran away from the chaos, as the mercenaries stayed behind to take care of the predator. A mercenary was screaming as he continued to fire his gun in an upwards position, before the mama bear landed directly on top of him and quickly began biting and tearing off his skin and clothes.

"You said you know where your sisters are, right?" asked Matt as the two continued to run.

"Yeah!" Lincoln answered. "It's just down this way! Follow me!"

With that, Matt and Lincoln raced to the cabin in the woods to go rescue their friends and sisters respectively.

* * *

The Loud sisters were still huddled up in a group, their hands still tied behind their backs. Off to the side of the sisters, Steve sat on his desk, carving the wood off of it. His attention suddenly turned to the girls, more specifically, Luna.

He got off his desk and approached the rock star sister.

"You injured?" he asked.

Luna looked up at him. "Huh?" she responded.

Steve pointed to the dried blood that covered her shirt. Luna looked down and immediately knew what he was referring to. Without waiting for an answer, Steve went behind Luna and began untying her.

"What? What are you doing?" asked Luna.

"I like that shirt." Steve replied. "Mind if I wear it?"

Luna was now free of her restraints as Steve forced her to stand upon him. "No way, dude!" she yelled. "This is my only shirt!"

"I don't care. I want it." Steve replied.

He began stripping the shirt off of her body, much her anger. "Hey! Stop, dude! Let go!"

"Stop it, right now!" Lori shouted.

"Steve! Stop!" Luan shouted as well.

"Steve! Steve!" Lynn shouted the loudest. "Steve god damn it! God damn it Steve! You better knock that shit off or I'm gonna kick your ass, you hear?!"

Finally, after a much heated struggle, Steve finally stripped the shirt off of Luna, leaving her with only a bra. The man began putting the small shirt over his overweight body, ripping it in some places.

"Dude! That's my favorite shirt!" Luna shouted.

"Not anymore." Steve replied. "It's mine now."

"My digs." Luna whined.

"Shut up." Steve responded. "Put your hands behind your back." Luna crossed her arms and glared at him; Steve suddenly pulled out his knife and pointed it at her. "Do it."

Not wanting to die or get injured, Luna placed her arms behind her back, as Steve put the restraints back on and shoved her to the ground.

Right at that moment, Steve stopped everything, hearing something in the distance. He looked towards the door, as if he was waiting for someone to come in. He suddenly began growing a malicious smile, giving off an equal malicious chuckle. He knew who was coming through that door and he was prepared.

Steve suddenly walked away, leaving the group of sisters tied up in the room.

* * *

Matt and Lincoln continued to run as fast as they could to get to their comrades on time.

"There!" Lincoln exclaimed as he pointed ahead of him. "That's the cabin!"

Sure enough, the cabin was right in front of them. They ran up to the door as Lincoln grabbed the doorknob and twisted it, and then ran straight into the door.

"Ow!" he exclaimed in pain. "It's locked!"

"Here. I got it." Matt pushed Lincoln aside.

Using all his force and strength, Matt kicked down the door off its hinges, sending it flying inside the cabin. Matt and Lincoln ran inside and were immediately greeted by the Loud sisters, tied up by the window.

"Lincoln!" they all shouted.

The two ran towards them as Lincoln used Matt's knife and cut the cable ties, freeing his sisters.

"Don't worry." Lincoln told them. "Everything's going to be okay.

Suddenly, Steve appeared from out of nowhere and hit Matt in the back of the head with the glass vase, knocking him out; Matt fell to the floor, unconscious. The Loud siblings gasped as Steve deviously smiled at the group.

"Did you really think you could escape from me that easily?" Steve asked.

"Steve." Lincoln muttered in fear.

"I'm surprise that you're still alive." Steve told him. "Those men are as useless as my own son. Or, an abomination as a son. No matter! When you want something done, you do it yourself, it seems." Steve pulled out a .44 Magnum and aimed it at Lincoln's forehead. "Anything you want to say before your untimely demise?"

"Why are you doing this?" asked Lincoln.

"That's none of your concern." Steve abruptly replied.

"Okay, let me rephrase that. Why do you treat Matt like he's a piece of garbage? He's your son."

"He is no son of mine!" Steve shouted. "He's a mistake! A worthless, pathetic transvestite! Family is all about order and he couldn't even follow one simple rule: be true to your gender! He's supposed to be a guy, but instead, he turns into a girl! It was bad when my boss gave me him as a child, but it was even worse when he started questioning his sexual identity! He killed my wife, my daughter, and my eldest son! So now, instead of killing him, I'm gonna kill the people he cherishes the most. You guys!"

The siblings gasped. "Please! Don't kill them!" Lincoln begged. "Kill me instead."

"What?!" the sisters shouted.

"Lincoln! No! Don't do it!" Lori told him.

Lincoln turned around, giving her a defeated look. He heavily sighed as he looked right into her eyes. "I have to." Lincoln whispered.

"You don't have to, dude!" Luna told him. "If he kills you, he'll just kill the rest of us! Your sacrifice will just be in vain!"

"Who knows?" he asked. "Maybe something will happen after my death that'll save you guys. All I know is that if a man's a man then he honors his responsibilities. You guys are one of mine. I have to protect you guys at all costs. That's my #1 priority in life. Even if I have to give my own life to save yours."

"Linc. No." Lynn whined as her lips quivered and her eyes began tearing up.

"Awww. How poor." Steve mocked. "I respect you kid. You're becoming a real man. Protecting those you love. That is true honor there, kiddo."

Lincoln turned his head around and gave Steve a cold, hard glare. "Just shut up and shoot me." he told him in a dead voice.

"Very well then." Steve aimed the gun at Lincoln's forehead, who stared directly at Steve. He accepted his fate and was ready to die; Steve cocked his magnum as the sisters all looked away and closed their eyes. "You got guts, kid. I'll tell you that. Sayonara, Lincoln Loud."

He pulled the trigger and-

 **BANG!**

His arm was shoved out the way just in time, saving Lincoln's life. The girls opened their eyes to see that Matt shoved Steve to the ground. His father punched him away, only for Matt to kick Steve's arm, sending the gun flying away from the two and out of his father's hands. Steve punched Matt in the face and grabbed him by the collar and threw him hard into the wall.

Matt fell on his stomach as Steve approached him, a deathly glare on his face.

"Just when I thought I got rid of you…" Steve told Matt, who weakly got up, groaning in pain. "…you barged right back in."

Steve threw a punch, only for Matt to block it; however, he threw a hard jab to Matt's gut. He threw another punch but Matt ducked just in time. Instead, Steve took out part of the wood of a pillar inside the cabin. He then kneed Matt right in the face before using all his force to punch Matt in the face.

Matt's head swung backwards, stunning him for a brief moment. Behind him, Steve prepared his strength to uppercut Matt, sending him flying into the air. Matt fell hard on the ground, screaming in pain.

Meanwhile, Steve came running up to him and punched him in the face once more. He punched him in the face again; Matt groaned in pain as his lips flapped as blood was spat everywhere. Matt turned back around only to be greeted by a kick to the face.

The Loud siblings watched in horror as Matt was getting brutally beaten.

This time, however, Matt regained his composure fast enough to fight back. Steve came running towards him as Matt jumped high in the air. However, unbeknownst to him, Steve also jumped high in the air and kicked him in the neck, sending him falling down on his back.

Steve grabbed Matt by his collar and brought him up, before punching him so hard that Matt tumbled to the ground like a tumbleweed. Matt quickly got back on his feet and grabbed his 300 Blackout. He began firing shot after shot at his father; however, Steve was once step ahead.

His father managed to use a wooden board as a shield and began running to Matt, closing the amount of time and reaction for him. Once he was close, Steve kicked Matt in the face, causing him to let go of his rifle and fall backwards to the wall.

The long haired adolescent turned around but only to be kneed in the face once more by Steve. He groaned in pain as he stumbled backwards, slowly regaining his composure. He opened his eyes only to see Steve running towards him to jump in the air. At that moment, Steve did a drop kick straight at Matt's chest, sending him flying to a wall.

Matt was beaten and battered; blood poured from his nose, mouth, even from his eyes, to the point where it looked like he was crying out blood. He had several cuts all over his body, as a few broken bones could be felt inside. He felt like hell had just paid him a visit. His whole body felt like it weighed a ton; he couldn't even lift up a finger without feeling pain.

His vision was blurry as blood leaked out from his cut lips. The Loud siblings stared at Matt with wide eyes; the twins were crying a little, even Leni. They couldn't do anything to save him.

Matt slowly got up, using his hands and all his strength to get his shattered body back on his feet. However, a strong swing of a kick to the face caused him to fall back down again.

"Don't even try to get up, Matilda." Steve told him. "You've got the shit beaten out of you and you still try to fight back, but it only proves how stupid you really are. You've taken something special away from me now I'm gonna take something special away from you. Had you not been so stupid, your new family's death would have been quick and painless but you've made a grave mistake. Instead of quick and painless, I'm gonna kill those kids, niiiice and slooooow." Steve devilishly grinned.

Matt looked up at his father, the most angriest of looks on his face. Steve grabbed a spear from the side of the table and quickly polished it, before turning back to his son.

"It's been nice knowing you, Matilda… Not really." Steve told him.

Steve then jabbed the spear towards Matt… only from him to catch it. Matt slowly stood up as both him and his father struggled with the spear. The Loud siblings watched in awe as Matt found some new regained strength. Steve and Matt struggled, as the spear staggered in the middle, inches near from Matt's strength, though he did no let up.

Finally, Steve's face turned into one of surprise, realizing that Matt now had the upper hand. The long haired teenager used all his strength his body had to push the spear away from him, including his father. Steve was sent flying into a wall; Matt grabbed the spear that lied on the floor. His father quickly got up but was swept of his feet as Matt tripped him using the spear.

Matt stabbed the bookshelf that Steve was underneath and brought it down with the spear; his father looked up in horror.

"WOOOOOOOAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!" Steve screamed as the bookshelf landed on him.

Matt turned his head slightly, so the dust, dirt, and wood wouldn't get in his eyes.

After a few moments, Steve's hand raised from the wreckage, like an evil villain's hand cliche. He slowly arised from the rubble, regaining his composure. He staggered in place, processing what happened to him. At that moment, he heard screaming coming to the right of him. He turned to his right to see Matt charging at him in full speed and force.

Matt knocked Steve back into the desk, causing him to fall down. The teen got in front of him and grabbed his collar, before punching him in the gut and then in the face. He brought Steve back into eye level only to punch him again. Once more, Matt brought his father back into eye level and punched him in the face again, and then again.

Finally, after what seemed to be an endless assault, Matt finally stopped. He grabbed his father by the collar of his shirt and stared directly into his eyes, giving him the coldest glare ever.

Steve coughed up some blood as he began chuckling.

"Look at you." he said in a raspy voice. "Beating your old man. Trying to become the alpha male of the pack… I gotta respect… but I can't respect stupidity. You kill me… then a powerful friend of mine will come after you and hunt you down until either the day you die or he kills you himself. Then you'll be just like me."

"Yeah…" Matt then whipped out his Beretta M9 and placed it against Steve's skull. "Right…" he said.. "But the difference between you and me is that I'm not sadistic or a psycho that enjoys other people's suffering and pain… I'm just a human being."

Matt cocked the gun as Steve grew wide eyes; Matt gritted his teeth as he placed his finger on the trigger and was ready to shoot, until…

 _Revenge is only a path that'll lead to a life full of regret and misery. It won't fulfill anything._

Lincoln's words echoed through Matt's mind, making Matt realize his actions. He glared at Steve before standing up, staring at his father directly into his eye. He continued to aim his gun at him, his finger getting real close to the trigger.

He squeezed the trigger and…

 **BANG!**

A gunshot lit up the room, to the point where you could see the light from outside.

Steve laid there on the ground, completely motionless, his eyes shut tight… before they opened back up. He looked up to see Matt aiming the barrel of the gun directly at his forehead. He turned to the side to see a bullet hole on the ground to his left.

"I'm not gonna kill you." Matt told him. Steve blinked in confusion. "I'm not like you. I've seen what revenge can do to a person… and I don't like it. I'm not gonna end up like you because in the end, you have nothing left to live for. No family, no friends, no job, your whole world just gave up on you like how you gave up on me. There is nothing left for you in this world. There's no reason why you should live and you have to live with that realization for all eternity. The constant, overwhelming and stressed out feeling that weighs you down to no end… To me… that's a good enough punishment for you. I already have a family… they're called the Loud family."

Steve stood up and stared Matt into his eyes, before grinning maliciously.

"You were always extremely stupid, Matilda." he told him.

"What?" Matt asked, bringing his gun up into the air.

Steve brought out his knife and pulled Matt's arm downwards, getting the gun in his hand out the way. He was about to plunge the knife into Matt's stomach, but because he knocked Matt's arm, it caused him to accidentally fire his pistol… right into Steve's crotch.

His father dropped the knife right on the spot as he grabbed his private area, screaming in abdominal pain.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"** Steve screamed. Matt backed up as Steve fell to the ground; the Loud siblings backed up as well as they saw Steve just quiver there on the ground in pain. "YOU SHOT MY DICK OFF!" Steve shouted.

 ***ROOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAR!***

Matt turned around, as did the siblings, to see something they thought they would never see again: the mother bear. The bear sniffed the area, obviously picking up the scent of her dead cub. Matt backed walked back to the Loud siblings as the bear approached them.

The mother bear sniffed all of them, before growling; she didn't pick up the scent of her cub. She turned to her side to see Steve quivering on the ground, crying his eyes out. Something was not right.

She approached Steve, who turned his head upwards to see the bear slowly walking towards him. She got real close to him, causing him to begin crying quietly, like a baby in a crib; snot and spit began dripping out of his nose and mouth.

The bear sniffed Steve, before growling; an angry look on her face. Because Steve was wearing Luna's shirt, covered in the cub's dried blood, she thought that he killed her cub. She roared right in his face as Steve began crying and whimpering some more.

"Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait." he begged as he got up, still grabbing onto his balls. He knocked over everything on his desk, all on the floor, as he tried to make his way to the exit of the cabin. "Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!" he begged some more.

He limped his way to the cabin before falling down on the ground, no longer having the ability to run thanks to the bullet in his private area. He groaned in extreme pain, until the bear bit down hard onto the back of his leg; bones could be heard cracking behind him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" he screamed in excruciating pain. The bear dragged him back towards where he was once was. "Waaaaaaait." he whined. He got up but was tripped by the bear, causing him to fall back down again; he began crawling away from the bear, all while still begging. "AAAHH! Waaaait! Wa-ait! Wait! Wait! Wait. Wai-"

He made the mistake of turning around, to see the bear right over him. She roared as she lowered her head; a loud crunch and flesh ripping could be heard. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!" Steve's girlish scream was heard.

"This way! This way!" Matt told the group. "Outside! Anywhere!"

He and the Loud siblings ran out the door, finally away from the madman inside.

* * *

 **(Expect the next chapter in a few hours.)**


	24. Left in Hospitality

**(Well… Here it is… The final chapter… The ending to The Loudest Journey…)**

* * *

Matt, along with the Loud children, ran as fast as they could through the woods trying to find a safe place to stay.

"Where are we going?" asked Lola.

"Anywhere." Lori replied. "We need to get out of these woods, find a way to call our parents so they could pick us up."

"We can just head back the way we came before." Lynn suggested.

"And what?" asked Lori, turning back to her younger sister. "Die in the forest? I'm sorry, Lynn but that's not an option. It took us 3 days to get here and I am NOT running through that forest again for another 3 days! Besides, Lincoln and Matt are beat to shit."

"And I'm shirtless." Luna chirped up in a slightly offended tone.

"Right, that too." Lori quickly added. "If we could find a police station once we're out of these woods, we'll be golden. They'll take of us."

Matt grunted as he fell on his knee, grabbing his shoulder in pain. The group stopped and looked at him in concern. "You alright there, dude?" asked Luna.

Matt looked up, an extremely weak expression on his face. It was at this instant that the group all grew shocked looks as their mouths opened in surprised and their eyes widened like dinner plates.

"Oh my God." Lucy muttered.

Matt's face revealed to be pale, as if he lost a lot of blood… something that was true.

"We need to stop!" Lincoln called out.

"No! We need to go-"

"Lori!" Lincoln shouted, interjecting his older sister. He looked at her with pleading eyes. "We need to stop." he said once more.

Lori looked at her brother in the eyes, before caving in; she sighed. "Fine."

Matt stumbled across the ground as he fell by a tree, lying his back toward it. He's breathing was heavy as blood poured from his gunshot wound to the shoulder. His eyes were lifeless, as his movements slowed down. The group surrounded him, extremely worried and concerned for their friend.

"Everything's gonna be alright, Matt." Lincoln assured him. "I promise."

Matt slowly turned his head to the 11 year old. "No…" he breathed. "It's not…" He coughed out blood as he laid his head back onto the tree once more. "I know when God is calling my number… and he's calling it right now." he weakly stated.

Lincoln fought back tears. "Don't say that." Lincoln scolded while fighting tears. "You can still make it. I know you can!"

Matt opened up his eyes once more, feeling the energy in his body slowly going away. "Don't lie to yourself, Snow White." he weakly said.

"I'm not lying to myself! I know you're gonna be okay!" Lincoln protested, letting his tears fall freely on his cheeks on their own.

Matt heavily breathed in and exhaled just as heavily out. "I've been mauled… shot… and brutally beaten… my ribs are destroyed… and I don't have anything left to live for anymore… 'Okay' wouldn't be the word to describe myself right now…"

"Matt, no." Lincoln cried.

Matt turned his attention to the rest of the group. "Thank you… for saving me… I could never have asked… for a better family…" he heavily said. The rest of the sisters were now crying or holding back tears of their own. "I'm sorry for everything I've done… for all the pain I've put you in… I'm sorry for being a bad person to you guys…"

Luna sniffed. "You have nothing to be sorry about, dude." she said. "Anyone that were in your shoes would have done the same."

"No… they wouldn't…" Matt weakly retorted. "I'm an insensible coward… with nothing left in my life… I've made mistakes that I've been regretting for all my life, even till this day… I would give anything to undo everything that I've done... " He turned his head back to Lincoln. "And also…"

He slowly closed his eyes as his breath grew even heavier. Lincoln blinked as he feared for the worst. "What?" he asked.

Matt quickly shot his eyes back open. Even that took a lot of energy from him. "Nevermind…" he said. "Just don't make the same mistakes I've made in my life… Remember, Snow White… You and I are exactly the same, the same person… but there's still hope for you… you can change all this… you can make sure this doesn't happen to you… you still have time… You always have a choice, Snow White… It's the choices that makes us who we are… and you can always choose to do what's right."

Lincoln sniffed and nodded his head.

"Do you have any final requests?" Lisa asked, showing some emotion.

Matt turned his head to the group, his eyelids growing heavy, ready to fall and close any minute now. "Just go… Leave me out here…" He suddenly turned his head to Luan. "I told you I wouldn't come back after this… Sometimes I hate it when I'm right…"

"Not this time." Luan replied. "This time… you're left without us." she weakly chuckled, immediately regretting make a joke at this time.

However, to her surprise, to everyone's surprise, Matt began weakly laughing, even growing a smile on his face.

"You've finally done it…" he weakly said, staring at Luan. "You've finally made me laugh…" he began chuckling some more before coughing out more blood.

The group all flinched at the sight, ready to help Matt before remembering his wish. Matt opened up his eyes as he looked at his friends… as well as his new family.

"I've lived my life… and I'm ready to die…" he heavily and weakly stated. "Just leave… Go find your parents… and go home… be safe…" Matt told the group.

"We will." Lori confirmed.

Matt breathed heavily once more, feeling his life coming to an end real quickly; his time was running out. "I'll miss you." he told the kids.

"Me too." Lincoln replied.

They all simultaneously stood up, looking over their dying friend slumped on the tree. His eyelids grew heavy, ready to close soon, as his mouth was slightly opened, breathing in the air. Realizing that his time was coming to an end, they all took one last look at their companion, before turning around and walking away.

They walked the other direction, leaving Matt to die by the tree. Lincoln stopped and turned around, stealing one last look at the his brother like figure. A tear fell from his eye and dripped on his cheek, falling off it. He took a final sniff before turning around and heading with his sisters.

Matt watched as his friends left him, as they disappeared over the small hill. He knew he was never gonna see them again… and he was okay with that. He lived his life and he was honestly ready to die… he accepted God's call.

He breathed in one more before heavily exhaling; he eyes finally closed as his head fell to the side, leaving up against the side of the trunk.

With his eyes closed and his body not moving, all the pain and misery he was put up with, all the decisions that he made over the years… they were now meaningless, as his body rested against the tree in peace…

His suffering was now over…

* * *

The Loud children sat in the police station, looking down on the ground in silence, still mourning their dear friend's death. The only sounds that could be heard were paper shuffling and the phone ringing, as an office brought in a thug into the police station, while a woman walked out of the building.

They did not say a word, not did they move too much. They just sat there in silence, sadness looming over their area… and Luna with her bra.

Right at the moment, the door opened and the kids looked up to see their parents standing right in front of them.

"Oh my God." Rita cried. "You guys alright?"

"What happened?" asked Lynn Sr as the parents hugged their children. The father of eleven turned around to face the officers by the front desk.

"Thank you for keeping them safe while we rushed over here. Thank you so much, officers." Lynn Sr thanked as the family walked out of the station.

"No problem." said an old, black officer. "Shouldn't have left them to begin with." He sighed heavily afterwards. "Johnson!" he shouted.

"Yeah?" asked an officer as he approached his colleague.

"Any leads on the bodega robbery that happened earlier today?" asked the officer. "Mr. Hwang said that the perpetrator looked to be 15, 16 years old. He was definitely in his teens."

The Loud family walked outside as the sun set behind them.

"You guys alright? What happened?" asked the father.

"Luna, where is your shirt?" asked Rita.

Luna covered her bra with her arms as a blushed formed on her cheeks. "A… A bear attacked us." Luna replied.

"A bear?!" Rita shouted.

"Oh my God!" Lynn Sr shouted as well. "Did any of you get hurt?!"

"We're fine." Lincoln replied, showing little emotion.

"I bet Matt scared off the bear, huh?" asked Lynn Sr.

Everyone suddenly grew even more silent and uncomfortable at the sound of his name. "Say, where is Matt?" asked Rita.

Lincoln looked up at his parents, giving a somber look. "Lincoln… where's Matt?" asked his father, getting a little worried.

The white haired boy suddenly began tearing up, not even prepared to tell them the truth. He shook his head in response. "No." he whispered.

The parents immediately realized what he meant and they too began tearing up. Rita covered her face as Lynn Sr grabbed his head and looked up in the sky.

"No." he cried. His wife began sobbing next to him. "No. No. No." he repeated. "How?"

No one made eye contact, too sad to even look anyone in the eye. "He died protecting us." Lori whispered. "That's all you need to know."

"He's in peace now." Lisa said. "His suffering is now over."

The family then shared a group hug, mourning the loss of their loved one. No one moved as they all began tearing up, while some even began to silently cry.

"Matt once told me that good people die for many reasons and sometimes those reasons won't appear until later in the future." Lucy explained. "That nothing ever happens for no reason, there's always a reason for it and that good people die because they're ready to die… Matt was one of them. He told us that he lived his life and was ready to die, that he accepted death's call. He said that people die for the same reason we breathe… because we have to."

"Matt was very wise at such a young age." Rita replied.

"He's not only in a better place," Lincoln said. "he's in the best place."

Rita then sighed. "What do we do?" she asked.

Lori looked up at her mom. "I just wanna go home." she silently replied.

"We all do." Lincoln added.

Lynn Sr heavily sighed. "Well it is getting late… Come on, let's head to Vanzilla… Let's go home." he smiled.

The family then walked off to their car together. Although they were still sad about Matt's death, they still tried to lighten the mood, at least until they got home.

"Did you kids eat?" the patriarch asked. "I can warm up some Lynn-sagna when we get home."

"You know what, Dad… I would like that." Lori replied.

The group continued to walk to their van as the sun continued to set behind them. At a nearby tree, Jack landed on the branch and began to wait patiently, and nervously, for the arrival of his enemy. And speaking of his enemy, Jason the Falcon flew in the air, right over Jack.

Jack screamed as he shielded himself, bracing for when Jason would snatch him up with his talons. However, nothing happened. Instead, the branch that he stood on shook, indicating something landed on it.

Jack slowly opened his eyes to see Jason standing in front of him, as well as a familiar face. Jack's ex-girlfriend, Jennifer. Jack immediately scowled at the two, thinking they wanted to rub their relationship in his face.

What he wasn't expecting, was for Jason to pull out a card from his wing and to hand it over to Jack. The sparrow reluctantly grabbed the card and just as reluctantly opened. Inside, there was a note, which read:

mE anD JENnifER DEcideD TO brEaK Up SO We couLD alL bE frieNDS. lIkE thE ThREe muSKEteERS. whAT DO yOU saY, Jack?

Jack looked up to see Jason and Jennifer smiling at him; the sparrow didn't have time to answer as Jason grabbed both him and Jennifer and embraced them in a hug. Jennifer began laughing as Jack awkwardly stared at the two, before looking at the camera.

He sheepishly smiled, indicating that he accepted Jason's friendship.

* * *

 ** _Don't Come Close by Yeasayer starts playing…_**

Cast

Ben Diskin as Matilda "Matt" Dillon

Tex Hammond as Lincoln Loud

Catherine Taber as Lori

Liliana Mumy as Leni

Nika Futterman as Luna

Cristina Pucelli as Luan

Jessica DiCicco as Lynn and Lucy

Grey Griffin as Lana, Lola, and Lily

Lara Jill Miller as Lisa

Brian Stepanek as Lynn Loud Sr.

Jill Talley as Rita Loud

Jane Kaczmarek as Gina Dillon

Troy Baker as Steve Dillon

James Franco as Derek Dillon

Crispin Freeman as Joseph "Scarface" Hindwick

Guest starring MTHellhound as Jack the Sparrow

 _Don't come close  
I don't want you to see my face, my face  
You go away; I work so hard  
I don't have time to start all over  
I'd like to be-_

 _Leave you without feeling bad  
And leave you with the knowledge that_

 _Most, most people would release you  
Most, most people don't change; they only get old  
So, if I let you back in close  
Will you hurt me?_

 _In all your life  
You'll never live down what you can't forget, so forget it  
Flick it away then our time flies  
Bringing disease to the surface  
Ouch I must be-sharper than your average man  
Tell me honey what's the plan?_

 _Most, most people would release you  
Most, most people don't change; they only get old  
So, if I let you back in close  
Will you hurt me?_

 _Don't come close, she said  
I'd never stoop so low_

 _I'm gonna need some telling me you want me  
I can't hear you so take some time to think about it  
Most, most, people would release you  
(I'm gonna need some telling me you want me)  
Most, most people don't change; they only get old  
(I can't hear you so take some time to think about it)  
So, if i let you back in close  
(I'm gonna need some telling me you want me)  
Will you hurt me?  
(I can't hear you so take some time to think about it)_

* * *

Luan sat on top of her bed, reading a joke book, as her one year older sister, Luna, rummaged through the underneath of their bed. It was completely silent in the room until Luna spoke up.

"Hey, Luan." Luna said from underneath their bed.

"Yeah?" Luan replied.

Luna stuck her head out from under their bed, holding a box in her hand. "There's a box that says it's for you." she replied.

"Who's it from?" asked the jokester.

Luna checked the note on the package. "It says, 'To Luan, From Rings.' Do you know anyone who's named Rings?" asked Luna.

Luan pondered for a moment, before coming to a conclusion. "No, I don't think so." she answered.

"Luna!" their mother called. "Can you come down here for a second?"

"Sure thing, mom!" Luna yelled back. "I'll be back, brah."

With that, Luna left the room, leaving only Luan and the package on the ground. The jokester placed her book on the bed as she stood up and picked up he package. She walked over to her beanbag and sat down; she quickly opened the package and was amazed at what she found inside.

Inside the package was a Spring Loaded Dick Bomb, with a note on the side. Luan was just as surprised to see the one joke prop she wanted, as well as the note. She grabbed the note and began to read it; the note read:

 _Dear Luan,_

 _I knew you liked dick, so I got you this :P  
Didn't want you taking my advice about stealing money from your parents._

 _Love, Matt_

Luan felt a single tear weld up in her eye, as she warmly smiled at not only the note, but as well as the memories she cherished with her friend.

"I miss you buddy." she whispered to no one in particular.

* * *

 **(Thank you… to you. No really! All of you for helping me get through this story and finishing it. It's been a pleasure writing this FanFic for all of you guys who enjoyed it. I've had my ups and downs, my twists and turns, dotting my t's and crossing my i's, but in the end, I managed to finish it thanks to all of your support.**

 **This story was published on 15 Aug 2018, and today, 25 Jan 2019, it ends. I've had a blast writing this story but sadly, everything has to end eventually.**

 **Finally, I would like to thank a few people who've helped me write this story.**

 **Firstly, I would like to thank sthompson1, for giving me ideas and for helping me with the storyline. Go check him out to read his awesome stories. Stories such as the** _ **Loud House of Horror**_ **, or his all time, most successful FanFic,** _ **A Very Loud Summer.**_ **Seriously though, go check him out. He's a great author and even greater friend.**

 **Next, I would like to thank MrPotassiumK for giving me inspiration for this story and for helping me whenever I was down in the dumps. He's a true friend and I wouldn't know what I would do if he wasn't there to help me. Go check him out and his current, on-going story titled** _ **Loud House: The Infection of the Dead**_ **. If you like zombie movies, video games, or TV shows, like the Walking Dead, go check it out and have yourself a read, it's a great story, I really recommend it.**

 **Anyways, that's all I gotta say and uuuuh- Oh! I almost forgot! Jack the Sparrow is Matt's psychological animal in this story, meaning if Jack dies, then Matt dies, and vice versa. So be sure you get the hidden message in this statement as well as the beginning and end of the story.**

 **That's all I gotta say now and I've had a blast AND pleasure writing this FanFic. Ya know, this is gonna be my first FanFic that I EVER COMPLETED! I mean, I did start the Rex and Weevil: A New Beginning, as well as the Jurassic Park parody of it, but I gave up on those stories. And there were some simple one chapter stories that I completed.**

 **Correction, this is gonna be my first** _ **MULTI-CHAPTER**_ **FanFic that I have ever completed. I'd like to consider this an accomplishment, my biggest accomplishment up to date on here ever. So… Yeah.**

 **That's all I gotta say… again for the third time. Thank you guys so much for the support and for reading my story… and I'll see you all you guys next time.**

 **Peace.**


	25. Epilogue

BELLAMY CREEK CORRECTIONAL FACILITY  
21:03

The sounds of cell doors closing could be heard throughout the prison, many inmates finally going to bed.

A man laid on his prison bed, his face hidden in the dark, as he laid on top of his arm while the other rested on his chest.

"Hey." whispered a voice. The man turned his head to his cellmate. "Me and couple of guys are breaking out tomorrow. You wanna join? Come on, don't act like you want to spend your entire life locked up in this shithole."

The man sat up, his face still hidden in the dark, as he was now sitting on his bed staring at his cellmate through the dark.

"Jones." the man said in a gruff voice. "I'm already a free man."

His cellmate raised an eyebrow, not believing him; he scoffed. "Ye-ah, right." he laughed. "What makes you think that?"

"Its called a fucking intuition." the man replied. "And when I get out of here…"

The man leaned forward, finally revealing his face, which consisted of messy brown hair, black guy liner, a few black ring ear piercings, out of the darkness. His whole face screamed psychopath and edge lord, striking fear into anyone to whomever came across him.

"...It's gonna be a catastrophe." the man maliciously smiled, showing a few of his teeth.


End file.
